He eyed me carefully for a moment. “I thought you didn’t want to talk about racing?” I didn’t reply so he added, “Nova, what happened today?”
“Nothing,” I shrugged. “I just figured I should probably know what to expect if something is going to change.”
He smiled and slightly shook his head. “I know you, and I can tell something happened today. What was it?”
“Nothing. It was just a rough day. I don’t badger you about details when you’ve had a rough day at work.”
“No, but this is my ranch, so if there’s something going on then I should be informed about it.”
I sighed. “See, this is exactly the type of thing I wanted to avoid. Mixing business with my personal life.”
He didn’t say anything at first as he seemed to contemplate. “Okay, I understand. But when you feel, uh, business-like…will you come talk to me about it?”
“No.”
He raised his eyebrows.
“I’ll talk to your dad if I need to, or Jack if that’s all it takes.”
“So this has to do with Lori?”
“Austin…”
“Okay, fine…” He took a deep breath and pulled me close, so I tried to forget about my lousy day and focus on time with my boyfriend. But he did end up saying, “Problems with Lori are nothing new… Just so you know,” he added, and then the subject was dropped.
Two weeks later I had another run-in with Lori. Jack was out with a pinched nerve in his lower back, and usually he’d just let me hold down the fort by myself if nothing major was going on. However, one of the competition horses required emergency colic surgery, and Lori arrived immediately to take care of it. I offered to assist her with it (it would have been my first of that type) but she pretty much refused. She actually called another doctor to perform the surgery with her, so while they went to work on Rolls Royce, I decided to saddle up Bad Whiskey and go for a ride.
I stuck close to the stables, just in case I was needed. I figured Lori would call in a dozen strangers before she’d call me, but I worked Whiskey in the arena while I silently plotted my revenge. I knew I would do nothing to retaliate, though. It wasn’t in my nature. But whatever was going on with Lori was really affecting my job. She didn’t have an affect on my job performance, but she had an affect on how much I enjoyed working at Harmony Acres when she was there. I didn’t like someone having that kind of control over my happiness, so I wasn’t sure what to do about it.
Austin was in Iowa that weekend. We had kind of come to an agreement about racing, and even though I still had a hard time with his choice of a career, I decided to support him anyway. I actually saw him more than I did before, but he was usually gone for races on the weekends instead, and then he was home Monday through Thursday. He called me several times a day when he was gone, and he even left me funny text messages now and then. It was nice to have that contact with him on a regular basis, but it really did make me miss him even more when he was out of the state and not just south in Irwindale.
I was walking Whiskey to the tack room when Dave passed me. He smiled and said hello, and then gave Whiskey a pat.
“Get a good workout, little girl?” he asked her. Then his expression changed as he returned his attention to me. “How come you’re not in surgery with Lori? I kind of thought that would be a good experience for you.”
I was embarrassed for some reason, even though I knew I shouldn’t be. Maybe it was because I felt like I was being viewed as a slacker or something. But I tried to relax my frustration and replied, “Well, I offered, and I kind of expected to be there, but Lori wouldn’t allow me to help.”
“What?” He glanced back to Jack’s office with puzzlement. “Why wouldn’t she accept help?”
“She has another doctor in there. Dr. Tibbets.”
I could tell he wasn’t happy for some reason. I didn’t know if it had to do with Lori, Dr. Tibbets, or me, but his jaw seemed to tighten a bit. Finally he slightly nodded, but then just walked away. Austin was like his dad in that aspect, and I knew that Dave either had something to think about before he said anything more, or he was actually going to take care of something first. It made me anxious because I didn’t want any kind of drama to occur because of me, so I quickly undressed Whiskey, brushed her down, and led her back to Field Four.
Jack returned to the ranch the next day, and I could tell he was still in a lot of pain, just by the way he moved.
“What are you doing here?” I asked. I was just returning to his office from a round of medication dispensing and he was there looking over paperwork. “Jack, you should still be resting.”
“Ah, it hurts no matter what, so I’d rather just be moving.”
“Want me to tranquilize you?”
He chuckled. “I’ve seriously considered it.” He set the papers down and then looked over some photos. I could tell they were pictures of Rolls Royce’s surgery. “So you missed out on colic surgery, huh?” he asked.
I wasn’t sure what to say so I didn’t say anything. I was afraid I might call Lori a name I might regret.
Jack motioned for me to sit and he pointed out a few things that the pictures showed. Then he placed a disk in the DVD player and turned on the television. I scooted my stool closer so I could watch the surgery better, and Jack stood next to me.
“The colon,” he pointed. “The gas was removed…emptying the large colon of ingesta…” He fast-forwarded the video some more and added, “The obstruction being removed…”
I listened to Jack explain the surgery in-depth. He’d forward the video, rewind it, and pause—whatever he needed to do to teach me all that he could. We spent over an hour viewing and discussing the procedure, and when we were done, Jack walked me to Rolls Royce’s stall to talk about his recovery. The horse looked good as new, and Jack was pleased that he was bouncing back so quickly.
He turned to me and said, “I’m sorry you weren’t able to assist with the surgery.” I shrugged, not sure of what to say. We were walking back to his office when he said, “Did you notice which set of hands performed most of the work?”
I had noticed that, and I nodded my head.
“I think Lori is having trouble with her eyesight,” Jack continued. “She doesn’t feel comfortable performing surgery by herself anymore, and she’s known Edgar—uh, Dr. Tibbets—for many years. I’m sure she chose Edgar to help out instead of you so she didn’t have to show weakness.”
“She could have just said so—”
“Nah, you know Lori—very prideful. But she can’t perform her job fully anymore and she knows that. I think she also knows that you’re her replacement.”
“What?”
He shrugged as we stopped in front of his office. “It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? You’re a perfect fit here, Nova. Even if you just finished your basic studies and wanted a job here you would get it. I mean I know you want that piece of paper, and I can understand that, but if you decided to just take your tech exam for now, you could be an assistant and get the pay for it.” He paused for a moment and added, “It’s just an idea. I don’t know what your plans are otherwise—you know, on a personal level—but it’s something you can think about.”
“Are you talking about Austin?”
He shrugged again. “I suppose. He is the only other thing you focus on, isn’t it?”
I smiled and said, “Yeah, I guess so. But we’re both kind of… I don’t know. We both have plans going on that could change things, you know?”
“Yes, I understand that. Which is why I’m giving you another option to think about. It’s all a matter of what you want the most, Nova. I can’t decide that for you, Austin can’t decide that for you… So just take all of your options and study them carefully.” He cringed and put a hand against his lower back. “Right now my only option is seeing a professional.”
“Yeah, you really should if it’s gotten so bad. You want me to stand on your back to see if it helps?” I joked.
He chuckled,
but I was surprised when he said, “Actually I would do anything at this point. I’d like to try it if you don’t mind?”
I shrugged. “Uh, no, not if that’s what you want.”
“You’re what? –A buck twenty-five?”
“Mm, give or take.”
“Perfect.”
He dropped onto the floor right by the counter, so I removed my shoes and stepped onto his back. He slightly groaned, so I stepped off.
“No, that was great,” he said. “It just takes a second for the pain to adjust.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“And it’s your sciatic nerve?”
“Yes.”
I placed one foot on his lower back and the other in the middle, and held onto the counter just in case it was too much pressure.
He moaned again, but it sounded like a good moan.
“That’s okay?” I asked.
“Yes, that feels so good.”
“I feel like I’m too heavy for this, though.”
“Uh, it’s not bad…”
I stepped off of him and said, “What if I make it worse?”
“I don’t think that’s possible.”
“Well I can do the same thing without all of that weight. I mean if you don’t mind.”
“I’ll take any help I can get.”
I knelt over him so I could hold his lower body with my legs, and pressed my hands against his back so it separated his upper and lower body.
“Oh, man,” he moaned again. “That feels so good. Keep doing it.”
“Just hold it there?”
“Yeah if you can.”
I loosened my hold briefly to get better position, and then separated his joints once again.
“Oh, my…” he moaned. “That feels so good.”
I heard a sound at the office door so I peaked over the counter to see Austin standing there with a curious smile on his face. I knew he couldn’t see me straddling Jack on the other side of the counter, but Austin tilted his head to the side to see Jack’s feet sticking out from behind it.
“Jack? What are you doing with my girlfriend, pal?”
Jack chuckled. “She’s putting me in a euphoric state. Hope you don’t mind.”
Austin walked around the counter to get a look at what we were up to.
“Oh, please don’t leave, Nova,” Jack pleaded when I was about to get up. “Just one more time.”
“You know my boyfriend is here and I’d rather kiss him right now than straddle you, right?”
He barely laughed again but said, “I know, but please? Austin, give a guy a break.”
“You’ve got ten more seconds,” Austin told him.
Jack thanked him like it was his last wish on earth, so I relieved the compression in his lower back one more time, and then stood.
“I don’t think I want to get up now,” he said.
“Good, stay there so we can make out in your office,” Austin said.
Jack laughed, but he did lie there for a few more seconds while Austin kissed me, and then he rolled onto his back.
“All I need is a yoga mat and I can just stay here and tell Nova what to do,” Jack said. He pulled himself up into a sitting position and paused for a moment. “Wow, I think that feels a lot better.” He stood and slightly stretched himself out. “That’s ten times better. I think I should go for a run.”
“I think you should continue to lie down and rest it,” I told him. “Take some ibuprofen.”
“Ibuprofen didn’t work.”
“It might’ve been so bad that it didn’t have a chance to work. Now that the nerve might be released, it can have a chance to relax. Go lie down.”
“Okay, Miss Smarty Pants,” he playfully scowled. He murmured something about getting bossed around by everyone, but he eventually left the office.
I looked at Austin, and with a smile he said, “That was odd.”
I laughed and replied, “Hearing Jack moan behind the counter?”
“That, and seeing your head appear with a surprised expression.”
“Pssh, you didn’t honestly think…?”
“No, it was just weird I guess. You know, when you see something that looks one way, but you know in your head that’s not what it is?”
I smiled and said, “Yeah, I understand.” I paused and looked him over for a few seconds, and then I wrapped my arms around him and laid my face against his chest. “I missed you.”
“I missed you, too. Thought about you every second I could.”
“Me too. So how did you do? How’d you place?”
“Mmm, fifth. But I led 41 laps. It was a learning experience.”
“That’s good. I think?”
He smiled and nodded his head. “I race at Irwindale next weekend…”
I didn’t respond right away, even though I knew he was going to ask if I would go. Instead, I took his hand and we left the office to walk to the hammock. Once we were lying in it, barely swinging side to side, he did ask, “So I take it that means no?”
With a sigh I said, “Yeah, that’s a no.”
He didn’t reply, but I knew he was disappointed. I did feel bad, but I was also annoyed that we were back on the subject again when he had promised he wouldn’t pester me about it. But I guess he kept his word because he didn’t mention it again, and we began talking about other things instead.
Chapter Eleven
I wondered when I was finally going to break down and attend another one of Austin’s races. It was hard to decide how I felt about it because I wanted to go to one, but I didn’t want to at the same time.
I arrived at the Toyota Speedway with Austin’s family the next weekend, against my better judgment. Well, I didn’t know if I should be there or not, but I couldn’t stop thinking about my conversation with Clara, when she questioned whether or not it was better for her to be there the day her daughter died. In Clara’s opinion it was, and I didn’t expect that I would have to deal with the same thing when it came to Austin, but I decided I needed to stop worrying about it and just be there for him. The bottom line was that I needed to go to his races, just so I could be around him more.
I wasn’t able to see him before the race that time, but Austin knew I was there. I also knew how happy he was that I’d decided to go and that made me feel good. I was beginning to realize that my relationship with him was changing again, and even though it was the best feeling in the world, it also caused me to question so many things. Decisions, decisions, decisions… I hated making them, and I hated worrying about them.
It was a pretty big day for the Gaines family that afternoon. Austin led for 137 laps and finished first at Sonoma, and I’ll admit that I was really proud of him. The race itself made me nervous, but I think I handled it a little better than the first time. Maybe I really was going to get used to it after all.
We all went out to celebrate that night—Austin’s family and his team. It was a pretty fun night, and I kind of got caught up in the energy of it, too. He was easy to feel happy around, but I could tell that racing was almost like his lifeline and I wasn’t sure if he’d ever give it up. I wondered how that would affect my future with him. Along with that, I also wondered how UC Davis was going to fit into my new life as well, and I wondered if maybe Jack was on to something when he suggested getting my associates to continue working at Harmony Acres.
I guess my plans were going to stay the same. So far there wasn’t any indication that Austin wanted things to be any different than they were. And as long as my relationship with him was going well, I didn’t have any reason to change my course. I knew what direction I wanted to head, even if the choice might be difficult when the time came.
Wednesday was my day off, and Austin took me to the beach. It was sort of an odd day because his friends—Brock, Will, and Nash—met us there, and even though I had been around them a few other times over the summer (particularly Will) this time was different because they each had other girls with them. I wasn’
t shy in the sense that I couldn’t get along with new people, but just the mix was a little strange and I felt a bit reserved. I guess I got along with everyone well enough, but I was really glad when Austin said farewell to the group and decided to spend some time with just me for the rest of the day.
We got takeout at a nearby restaurant, and then Austin surprised me by taking me to Clover Park.
“I haven’t been here for a few years,” I admitted, looking around at the familiar scene from the parking lot.
Austin walked around the car to take my hand and said, “You told me you used to come here with your mom a lot… This isn’t a bad thing, is it?”
“Oh no, it’s not. I mean I have really good memories of this place, and yeah it makes me miss my mom, but I like it here.”
He only nodded and we found a place to enjoy our dinner together. After an hour or so, and a bit of time wandering around the park, I kind of expected him to come up with some random idea for something to do. I was a little surprised when he only mentioned heading home to watch a movie, but it sounded good to me and I easily agreed.
It was then that I noticed his demeanor to be a little off. He almost seemed a bit tense, and that wasn’t like Austin at all. He was probably the calmest, most laid-back guy that I knew, and to see him seem so rattled kind of threw me.
But I guess I didn’t have to wait too long to understand what was up, because as soon as we got home, he wanted to take a walk to the creek. It was there that he asked me to come with him to Colorado for his next race, and I could tell that he was really anxious about my answer.
“Colorado? Why? I mean is there a reason that I should come to this particular race?”
He paused for a few seconds, and there it was again: he was nervous.
“Austin?” I smiled. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing’s going on, it’s just… I’d like you to come to Colorado with me. I want you to be there with me.”
“Well, yeah, I’d love to be there with you, but…just this time? Or are you going to try and convince me to travel with you every weekend?” I teased. The look on his face confused me, and I raised my eyebrows to reveal my surprise. “Austin, what’s the matter with you? You’re really worrying me.”
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