Lost and Found (Twist of Fate, Book 1)

by Lucy Lennox

  Xander kept fucking me through his orgasm. My well-used channel stung, but I wouldn’t have changed a second of it for the world. Even when Xander’s body unlocked as the climax released him from its deathly grip, he continued to push into me, his essence leaking out of my body with every thrust. He was panting heavily against my neck. My own pleasure had finally started to turn into a blissful haze of semi-awareness, but when Xander made a move as if to pull out of me, I reached down to grab his ass to keep him inside of me. His lips searched out mine and then he was kissing me.

  For minutes.

  For hours.

  I wasn’t sure.

  I just knew I never wanted it to stop.

  “You okay?” he asked. His hands came up to push my sweaty hair off my forehead.

  “Better than,” I said.

  “That was…” He shook his head.

  “Yeah,” was all I said. There were a million things we probably needed to say to each other, but somehow it just didn’t matter at the moment. Maybe because we’d said so many things without speaking. Maybe because there just weren’t words for some of the other things.

  Xander sighed and settled on my shoulder, his lips pressed against the pulse point of my neck. His cock was still pulsing inside of me and every once in a while, one or both of us would be hit with an aftershock, but otherwise we didn’t move or speak. We just held onto each other.

  Until I finally found the strength to ask something that was both a safe topic and driving me crazy with curiosity.

  “Um, Xander, can I ask you something?”

  “Mmmm.”

  I took that as a yes. “Please tell me your aunt didn’t know about using the oil as lube from personal experience.”

  Xander laughed and it was the sweetest thing I’d heard in a long time.

  Maybe ever.

  “B!”

  Even though I’d known Jimmy was safe, seeing him bouncing up and down as he waved at me nearly sent me to my knees in relief. As it was, I was struggling to make it up the last little bit of the incline that led to the overhang where Jimmy and Jake were waiting.

  “Give me your hand, baby,” I heard Xander say. I looked up to see his worried eyes on me and his hand extended. As much as I wanted to tell him I could do it on my own, I knew I couldn’t. My body was just too drained. I grabbed his hand and let him pull me up the rest of the way. As soon as I reached the overhang, Jimmy was throwing himself into my arms.

  “You okay, buddy?” I asked as I wrapped my arms around him. I glanced at the man standing a couple of feet to his right. He was leaning against a large section of rock and I could see that he was favoring his left foot.

  “Jake and I had an adventure!” Jimmy exclaimed.

  “I heard,” I said. I knew I probably needed to talk to him at some point about him wandering off on his own, but I was just too relieved to care at the moment.

  Xander and I’d had a rough morning. We’d caught a break when the weather had cleared up unexpectedly, but the hike had been tough because of the wet conditions, and my injuries. The scratch on my arm wasn’t really bothering me, but I’d woken with a little bit of a headache, which hadn’t improved with the rough hike. My body also hurt like hell, and unfortunately, it wasn’t the good kind of hurt from a night of passionate lovemaking.

  Which was what we’d had.

  After making love the first time, we’d both fallen asleep. Xander had woken me a couple of hours later to make sure I was doing okay, since I likely had a concussion from when my head had hit something in the water. He’d urged me to go back to sleep after he’d asked me a few questions, but I’d needed him again, so I’d crawled on top of him and easily silenced his protests about me needing to rest.

  I’d spent the next twenty minutes alternating between riding his gorgeous cock and sucking it to the back of my throat. Of course, Xander hadn’t been a passive participant. While I’d ridden him, he’d teased me by playing with my cock. When I’d been blowing him, he’d pulled my body around so he could suck me at the same time. Once we’d both been about to blow, I’d climbed back on top of him and ridden him as he’d thrust up into my body in such a way that he’d struck my prostate over and over again.

  In the end, we’d had nearly simultaneous orgasms. I’d collapsed against his chest and fallen asleep right then and there, with him still buried deep inside my body. He’d woken me up one more time to ask me questions, then he’d let me sleep until morning. I’d wanted to stay there in our little cocoon of happiness, but the need to get to Jimmy had won out and I’d forced my tired, sore body to get moving.

  “Jimmy’s turned into quite the expedition guide.”

  I lifted my gaze to meet Jake’s as he shook Xander’s hand, and then Xander pulled him in for a hug and slap on the back. I hated the curl of jealousy that went through me as they exchanged words that were too softly spoken for me to hear.

  “Glad to see you’re okay,” Xander said. He helped Jake sit down on the rock and then began looking through their small campsite. “We should get a move on while we’ve got a break in the weather,” he murmured as he began packing things.

  “Jimmy, let’s get your stuff together, okay?” I said. The boy had his own pack, though it wasn’t as big as the packs the kids in Xander’s group had carried.

  “’Kay,” Jimmy said. He gave me another quick hug before rushing over to Xander and began chatting excitedly with him about the adventure he and Jake had had.

  “Thank you,” I said as I approached Jake and held out my hand.

  “No need to thank me,” he said as he shook it. “He’s a great kid, but he sure moves quick.”

  I chuckled at that. “I lost him once on a field trip to the museum, so I know what you mean.”

  Jake was a good-looking guy about our age, maybe a little older. He was close to my height, but not quite as lean as I was. His hair was dark brown and a little longer on top than on the sides. He had a little bit of scruff going on, but I wasn’t sure how much of that was normal or just extra growth from being out in the woods. His eyes were a striking shade of gray that reminded me of the storm clouds that had been threatening to open on us all morning long. But it wasn’t just the color that caught my attention.

  There was something else there— an almost haunted look.

  Which didn’t match the forced smile he was sending me.

  “What happened?” Jake asked as he motioned to the bandage on my head.

  “Accident while we were crossing a river yesterday,” I said, dismissing the injury away with a wave of my hand.

  Jake’s solemn eyes studied me for a moment before he said, “You mind if I take a look?”

  The request surprised me. Xander had already patched me up, but since I didn’t want to be rude, I merely nodded. Since I didn’t want Jake to have to stand, I bent over him so he could peel back the bandage. His fingers were gentle as he pressed against the tender skin around the actual cut.

  “Do you know what did this?” he asked.

  “Not sure… a log maybe.”

  “Did you lose consciousness?”

  “He did,” Xander cut in. I glanced at him to see him watching me with concern. “But not right away. It happened right after I got him out of the water.”

  I could see that Xander was reliving the moment, so I quickly said, “I’m fine, really. Just a little bit of a headache.”

  “Could be a concussion,” Jake said as he carefully removed the bandage altogether.

  “Xander kept waking me up throughout the night to ask me questions.”

  Jake nodded. “That’s good.” To Xander he said, “Can you get me my first aid kit?”

  As Jake watched Xander, I watched Jake. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but there was something off about the whole thing. I knew I was probably overreacting, but I couldn’t get past the feeling that there was more happening here between the two men.

  “Here,” Xander said as he handed Jake a small bag that was similar to the one Xan
der carried in his bag. But it looked like Jake’s was a little bigger.

  “Thanks,” Jake said softly as he took it.

  And that was when I saw it.

  It lasted only seconds, but I knew it for what it was as Jake’s eyes stayed on Xander. He inhaled just the tiniest wisp of air when their fingers touched as they exchanged the bag, but whereas Xander turned away to finish packing, Jake’s eyes lingered and followed him as he moved around the small campsite. When his gaze finally shifted back to me, he quickly dropped his eyes.

  My stomach dropped out as it dawned on me what I’d seen.

  He has feelings for Xander.

  “Butterfly bandages might keep the scar from being as noticeable,” Jake said. I was reeling from my discovery so I barely heard him.

  Were he and Xander in a relationship? Or had they been? Xander had said he hadn’t been in any relationships, but he’d had hookups. Was Jake one of them?

  I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of this good-looking man and Xander together.

  “So you swallowed some water when you fell in the river?” Jake asked.

  I was numb, but I managed a nod.

  “Any coughing since then?”

  “What?” I asked.

  “Have you been coughing since the accident? Any chest pain or trouble breathing?”

  “No,” I said with a shake of my head. “Why?”

  “One of the risks when you breathe in water is secondary drowning.”

  “What is that?” Xander asked, his voice laced with concern.

  “Water builds up in your lungs after the incident and causes pulmonary edema. It can happen anywhere from an hour later up to even a day later. It’s rare, though.”

  I was surprised when Jake pulled a stethoscope from a zippered pocket on the side of the bag. It seemed like an unlikely thing for a wilderness guide to be carrying.

  “Would you lift your shirt?” he asked as he climbed to his feet. Xander instantly moved to his side to support him so he wouldn’t have to put too much weight on his injured foot. I did as Jake asked and followed his instructions as he had me take several deep breaths and then listened to my heart. When he was finished, he said, “You should be fine, but it might not hurt to get checked out when we get back.”

  I nodded and was about to ask him why he was carrying a stethoscope on a backpacking trip when Jake turned to Xander and said, “We should probably get moving.”

  My eyes shifted to Xander, but he wasn’t looking at me. The insecurity that hit me was an ugly thing and I wanted to cast it away, but as we began the journey down the small incline, I couldn’t help but watch Xander support Jake so he could walk. I wanted to believe I was simply reading something into the way Jake leaned into Xander, but I kept remembering the way he’d looked at Xander when he’d handed him the first aid kit.

  “So how did you guys meet?” I found myself asking, though it wasn’t the real question I wanted to ask.

  I heard Jake’s soft laugh before Xander spoke up. “We met several years ago on an expedition to Patagonia.”

  “What were you doing in Patagonia?” I asked.

  Jake answered. “It was an organized trek across Nef Glacier and Soler Valley. Simply beautiful terrain. A once in a lifetime trip.”

  “Bennett, you would have loved it,” Xander added. “Remember when we did that science project about glaciers and we had to learn all the terminology?”

  I thought back to fifth grade. “Weird words,” I said. “I can’t remember them, though.”

  “Kettles and drumlin,” he reminded me.

  I turned to look at him, sure the smile on my mouth matched his. “I remember now. We said it sounded more like the name of a half-decent band than parts of a glacier.”

  As we came upon a large, open meadow, Jimmy took off running through the flowers to climb on a big flat boulder in the middle of the field.

  “Exactly. Well, Jake and I got to see glacial kettles and drumlin in person.”

  Jake cut in. “And when we got back to the hostel, I got to see what Xander here acts like when he drinks enough to get giggly.”

  That swirl of jealousy went through me again, only this time because I realized Jake had known Xander as an adult. I hadn’t known Xander since he’d been old enough to drink. Or smoke or do any number of other adult things. Maybe I didn’t know him as well as I thought. What if he did drugs? What if he was into group sex? What if there was something about me that he found strange?

  “A giggly Xander, huh?” I said, for lack of anything else clever. “I’ve never been around Xander when he’s had anything to drink.”

  “He’s adorable. So funny that after I moved here, I introduced him to my homemade ale so I could get him drunk as often as possible.”

  Xander laughed. “I knew you had an ulterior motive for that. I should have never introduced you to Gary. Having a brewery next door has not been good for my health.”

  “You live next door to a brewery?” I asked, beginning to feel the full force of my aches and pains.

  “No,” Jake corrected. “I bought the cabin next door to Xander’s, and I brew my own beer at home. Xander is my taste-tester.”

  “Wait,” I said. “You two met in South America on an expedition but you live next door to each other?” Why did I feel like I was missing something?

  When we caught up to Jimmy, Xander helped Jake sit on the boulder to take a breather. I’d been carrying Jake’s pack and let it drop to the ground before collapsing next to it for my own breather. Part of me was concerned that once on the ground, I wouldn’t be able to get back up.

  “No. We met on the trek, but then I didn’t hear from him again until he moved to Haven last summer. I hooked him up with Gary for a job as a beginning wilderness guide, and Gary sold him the cabin,” Xander explained.

  “So you two are next door neighbors. And you work together,” I said, taking a sip from my water bottle. Part of me wished it was straight vodka instead. Just so I could have been put out of my misery. Had I passed out in that field of wildflowers for the next twelve hours, maybe then I could have woken up feeling stronger and better able to handle both my injuries and my petty jealousy.

  I looked over at Xander as he carefully pulled Jake off the rock and put his arm back around the man’s waist.

  The water tasted like iodine purification tablets, and I realized I’d be glad to get back to civilization again— filtered water and a comfortable bed.

  Maybe Jake was a better match for Xander after all. The guy clearly loved many of the same things Xander did. And I could never compete with someone who was that adventurous and worldly. Compared to Jake, I was just some suit from Manhattan who worked with computers and numbers.

  The thought exhausted me, and it took every ounce of energy I had just to drag my sorry ass the rest of the way to the trailhead.

  Chapter 31

  Xander

  Despite the fun I’d had reminiscing about how Jake and I had met, I couldn’t shake my concern for Bennett. I’d heard of secondary drowning as part of my first aid training, but I hadn’t even considered it after pulling Bennett from the river. I’d been so focused on getting him warm and making sure he hadn’t had a serious injury that I hadn’t been able to think about much else. I looked ahead at Bennett who was leading our little group with Jimmy at his side. He’d been unnaturally quiet, but I also knew he was physically exhausted. His injuries had been bad enough, but to then tack on two hikes in less than ideal conditions— I knew he had to be feeling it.

  Still, I didn’t like the silence.

  But he wasn’t exhibiting any of the signs Jake had mentioned.

  I glanced at Jake to see how he was doing. He was handling the day’s hike like a champ, but I knew, like Bennett, he had to feel wiped out from both his injury and the stress he’d been experiencing the past couple days.

  “You going to tell me about how you knew all that stuff back there?” I asked. Jake was leaning on me more heavily now, presumab
ly because his ankle was starting to hurt more and more.

  “What stuff?”

  “That secondary drowning shit. Carrying a stethoscope around,” I said.

  “Just like to be prepared.”

  “Bullshit.”

  He shot me a look, but he quickly shuttered whatever emotion had been in his eyes for the briefest of moments.

  Although I’d gotten to know Jake somewhat better once he’d made the move to Colorado, he was still a complete enigma. I could count on one hand the things I knew about him. And even then, I’d have fingers left over. I’d always let it go because I figured, like me, he was running from something in his past. But I was beginning to wonder if maybe what he was running from was much more than the broken heart I’d been trying to deal with for the past fifteen years.

  “Just let it go, Xander,” he said. “That’s not our thing, remember?”

  I knew what he was talking about. Somehow we’d reached a silent agreement that whatever was in the past was better off left there. It was a rule I’d gladly adhered to after I’d gotten drunk one night and told Jake about Bennett’s defection when we were kids. I hadn’t told him any of the details, but he’d learned enough to know I’d carried the scars for a long time. Luckily, he’d never pressed me for more, and I’d respected the same boundary with him.

  Which meant I’d have to respect it now.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “For what?”

  “For checking him out,” I said as I motioned ahead of us. I knew Bennett was too far ahead to hear our conversation. We were on the last leg of the trail which was a straight shot to the trailhead, so I didn’t have to worry about him and Jimmy getting a little farther ahead of us.

  Jake nodded. “He seems like a good guy.”

  His comment surprised me since last time he’d seen Bennett, I’d been in the process of trying to get away from my former friend. I would have expected him to be lashing out at Bennett in some attempt to protect me. Before I could say anything, he continued.

  “You guys talked it out, didn’t you? Fixed whatever was wrong between you?”