Lost and Found (Twist of Fate, Book 1)

by Lucy Lennox

  My bedroom, to be exact.

  I hadn’t even bothered to dry off after I’d forced myself up off that floor. I’d gone straight for my bed and crawled between the sheets, not caring that they’d get wet. I hadn’t cried anymore because I hadn’t had any tears left, but I’d felt too numb to do anything but lie there. Jake had called me a few times, probably because he’d expected me to spend the night at the lodge. I hadn’t answered. After the first few calls, I’d silenced the phone and turned it over so I wouldn’t be tempted to check the screen.

  So I wouldn’t have to be disappointed when Bennett’s name didn’t show up on the Caller ID.

  I knew I was being ridiculous, because we hadn’t even exchanged numbers.

  The floor was cold beneath my feet as I padded over to my dresser and grabbed a pair of jeans and pulled them on. Concern went through me as I realized my visitor was probably Jake coming to check on me. With his left foot being the injured one, he could have driven up the mountain road without too much trouble.

  I flipped lights on as I went through the cabin. It wasn’t a big place, but it suited me perfectly.

  I was all prepared to apologize for worrying Jake by not answering his calls, but my words died off when I yanked the door open and saw who was standing there.

  “Bennett,” I said in disbelief. “What are you—”

  “You need to pick me, Xander,” he said, raising his voice so I could hear him over the rain. It was coming down in sheets. He was completely soaked, but he didn’t even seem to notice. Before I could even respond, he said, “You need to pick me because I’m the one who knows how to make you laugh and I’m the one who knows where you’re ticklish and I’m the one who knows you’re afraid of spiders and I… I… I’m your Benny. You can’t just give me that nickname and let me be all weird and crazy and stupid and then pick him!”

  “Bennett—”

  “I know what I did on the trail. I know it. I pulled away from you. When you talked about staying at the lodge, I pushed you away. I was a coward because I knew you’d be better off with him. I knew he was perfect for you and I’m not and we have so many things between us that don’t seem to make sense, but they do, Xander. They do. “

  I heard his voice catch and tried to reach for him so I could at least get him out of the rain, but he stepped out of my reach. “No! I have to finish!” he practically yelled. “I can love you better than he can, Xander. I’ve been doing it my whole life! He doesn’t know you!”

  Bennett jabbed his finger in the direction of Jake’s cabin, and I finally realized what he was saying. And right after that realization, the rest of what he’d said hit me.

  He loved me?

  “I love you so much, Xander,” he said, his voice dropping so low that I had to step out onto the small covered porch to hear him. Cold rain began to pelt my body from the side, but I didn’t care. In fact, I was glad for it.

  Because it meant maybe I wasn’t dreaming.

  Maybe he was really here, telling me what I’d been waiting a lifetime to hear.

  “And not just because you see me when we’re together. But because you let me see you.” A sob tore from his throat. “Please, Xander, I can’t lose you again. I won’t survive it.” He shook his head. Shock reverberated through me as I realized everything I’d ever wanted was literally within reach.

  He loved me.

  Which meant I was enough for him.

  I heard a choked cry spill from his mouth, and then he was turning away from me and I realized I’d been too slow to respond. He’d taken my shocked silence for cold rejection instead.

  I was on him in two strides, ignoring the rain as it soaked through my hair and jeans the second I stepped off the porch. I grabbed his elbow and yanked him back hard enough to have him spinning and slamming against my chest. I didn’t let him get another word in before I crashed my mouth down on his.

  Because he didn’t need to say another word.

  He’d said enough.

  More than enough.

  Bennett let out another soft cry and then he was kissing me back. His arms wound around my neck, and as soon as I lifted him by the backs of the thighs, he wrapped his legs around my waist. I barely felt his weight as I carried him up the steps and into the cabin, kicking the door shut behind me. He never stopped kissing me as I carried him to my bedroom. Bear wisely sought out his own bed in the corner of the room.

  I lowered Bennett across the foot of the bed, not caring about our wet clothes. I released his mouth and used my hands to push the mop of hair off his face. His beautiful eyes held mine. They were filled with a mix of relief and uncertainty.

  And I knew why.

  “My Benny,” I whispered as I let my fingers trail down his face. “Don’t you know?” I asked as I let my finger glide over his perfect lips. Lips that were all mine now. “It’s always been you,” I told him. “Only you.”

  He sucked in a breath, but before he could say anything, I kissed him. I held my mouth against his for the briefest of moments before lifting my head.

  Because I wanted him to see my eyes when I spoke.

  So he’d know I was telling the truth.

  “I love you, Benny. I’ve loved you from the moment you sat down on that swing next to me. I can’t pick you because it’s always been you.”

  “Really?” he asked, his lips pulling into a soft smile.

  “Really.”

  “I love you so much, Xander.”

  I kissed him slow and deep, but it didn’t take long before my wanting him turned feral— like a living, breathing thing. My hands couldn’t get enough of him, and I found myself practically tearing off his clothes to get to him. I wanted him and I wanted him now. As if even my body had a need to cement what we’d just admitted to each other.

  “Need you,” I mumbled, trying to find his fly with shaking hands. Bennett gasped as my fingers brushed the bare skin behind his waistband, and I felt the tip of his cock. “Fuck, get these pants off.”

  I heard him chuckle as his hands released my face and joined mine to try and get his damned zipper down. He sucked in a breath when I started to yank. “Shit, babe. Careful. No underwear.”

  “Oh my god,” I groaned. “Are you trying to make me come right now?”

  “Kinda, yeah,” he said with a soft laugh before latching his lips onto the base of my throat and sucking.

  I felt him abuse the skin hard enough to leave a mark, and I was secretly grateful. I wanted to have proof of this coming together so that even if he did have to go home until we figured shit out, I’d know he was mine and I was his.

  “Clothes off,” I commanded, standing up and shucking my own pants faster than I ever had before. By the time he shook off his lust-filled haze and got the remaining articles of damp clothing off, I had a bottle of lube in one hand and a condom in the other. I held the condom up with a raised brow, but before I even had a chance to ask him the question, he was shaking his head violently.

  “No, never again,” he said with wide eyes. “Nothing between us.”

  Even though the words referred to the condom, I felt like he was making me a promise that ran deeper. I took a moment to lean back over him and place a gentle kiss on his soft lips. “Love you,” I murmured against his lips.

  His mouth turned up in a familiar grin. “Thank you. Now stop talking and get to work,” he teased. His eyes twinkled and his hands came around to squeeze my ass encouragingly. “Get in there before I flip you over and show you what it looks like when a bossy bottom becomes a bossy top.”

  I felt my own grin widen and couldn’t believe how fucking happy I felt. Light and happy and free. My lubed fingers found their way to his tight entrance and I massaged my way in, triggering curses and moans from the gorgeous man in my bed.

  Maybe my man needed a reminder of who was in charge tonight. “Baby, you can fuck me all you want in the morning. But right now, your ass is mine. I’m going to do this fast and dirty, because I can’t wait another minute to get i
nside that sweet ass. “

  I nipped at his lips as I spoke while I fingered him. First with one, then two. By the time I added a third just to see what he’d do, he began writhing on the bed, his fingers clutching the bedding.

  “Fuck, god, need you so bad!” he cried, his bright eyes catching mine. “Please, Xander.”

  I carefully pulled my fingers free before pushing inside him hard and fast, bottoming out in one swift surge. Bennett yelled something unintelligible, and then he was trying to drive his hips up to meet my urgent thrusts as I began pounding into him. I slipped my hand between our bodies and began jerking him off to make sure he was as close as me.

  “Yes, just like that— love you so much,” he babbled.

  I leaned down to kiss him. “Love you, baby,” I murmured just before I sent him over. His hot release coated my stomach and then dripped down my hand. My own orgasm ripped through me, and all I could do was hang onto Bennett until it eased enough that I could lift some of my weight off his sweaty chest. As he opened his eyes, I couldn’t hold back the sense of pride I felt at knowing I’d put that look of satisfaction there.

  I carefully pulled out of him and then slid down his body and began cleaning him up with my tongue. Bennett’s fingers sifted through my hair when I got to his semi-hard cock and gently began sucking him, lapping up the remnants of his cum. I moved back up his body and sealed my mouth over his. He let out a gasp of surprise when I let some of his release slide over his tongue. But it lasted mere seconds, and then he was hungrily kissing me back.

  By the time I got him settled under the covers, he was half-asleep. I curled my body against his back and pressed kisses against the back of his neck and down his shoulder.

  “Bennett,” I said softly.

  “Mmmmm?”

  I chuckled at his inability to form an actual sentence. “Thank you.”

  He was quiet for a moment and then he turned in my arms. “For what, baby?”

  “For coming to find me. Tonight… that night fifteen years ago.”

  His hand came up to caress my face. “Always, Xander.” He kissed me and then nestled his face in the crook of my neck. “Don’t let me go, okay? Want to wake up just like this.”

  “I won’t, Benny. Never letting you go again.”

  Chapter 34

  Bennett

  Xander had been telling the truth when he’d promised to hold me all night. I slept deeply and peacefully, only waking when I heard Bear’s nails click on the hardwood floor. From the soft light sneaking through the window blinds, I guessed it was very early morning. I untangled myself from Xander’s warm body and found my way out of the bedroom to let the big dog out the front door.

  As I waited for him to return, I looked around the main room of the cabin. I hadn’t had much time to notice Xander’s home before he’d carried me into his bedroom, and I was pleasantly surprised at what a nice, comfortable place he had. There was a tidy area in one corner of the main room that housed snow skis, a snowboard, and plastic milk crates full of what appeared to be rock climbing equipment. The rest of the room held a large, comfortable sofa along with two overstuffed chairs. The seating faced a well-used stone fireplace, and I realized I hadn’t seen a television anywhere.

  Off the side of the main room was an open kitchen with a large round table and chairs. I padded over to the kitchen and found what I needed to start a pot of coffee and feed Bear before letting him back in the front door.

  By the time I got back to the bedroom, my head was spinning with ideas about how I wanted to wake Xander up. I caught myself grinning like a fool as I took in the long form of his body outlined under the bedcovers. His long hair lay tangled on the pillow around his head and my fingers twitched with the need to touch it— to touch him. Anywhere and everywhere I could get my hands on.

  I slipped the covers back and feasted my eyes on his naked body. There wasn’t a shred left of the little boy body I’d known so well, yet every single part of him was familiar to me in a way. I wanted to lick every fucking millimeter of his skin and run my hands over every part of him. The idea that I’d have an infinite number of opportunities to explore this body in the coming days, weeks, months and years made my stomach turn somersaults.

  I laid a knee on the edge of the bed and stretched forward to drop soft kisses on the inside of his thigh. The curve of his quads leading up to his hip was firm under my hand, and that was all it took for my dick to harden and my balls to wake up.

  Xander murmured something I couldn’t quite make out as he shifted in bed, his legs opening wider to expose himself further.

  I quickly dragged my mouth up to brush against his sac before running my tongue against the smooth skin of his morning wood. I heard a quick intake of breath, followed by a groan, but I ignored it— instead, I focused on getting my lips around his thick cock.

  He gasped again and brought his hands to my head, fingers forking into my hair and gripping it before he was even fully awake.

  “Benny,” he croaked. “Fuck, don’t stop.”

  I shook my head and hummed around him instead of answering with words, and his cock pulsed in my mouth in response.

  “Oh god. Jesus,” he murmured. “Fuck that feels good, baby. So good.”

  My tongue danced around the head of his cock before I took him all the way to the back of my throat. I tried to ignore the tightening fingers in my hair and focused on suppressing my gag reflex so I could take him down as deep as I could. The sounds coming out of him bore witness to my success and before I knew it, he was trying to pull me off him.

  “No, dammit. You’re gonna make me come,” he grumbled. “I want inside you.”

  I pulled off and locked eyes with him before speaking. “Un-uh. I’m in charge this time, babe.”

  Xander’s eyes widened in surprise for a brief moment before he rolled them and fell back onto the pillow. “You’re always the one in charge,” he complained. “Now you’re going to tease me and make me cry and beg.”

  I barked out a laugh.

  “You love it when I tease you,” I said. I ran the tip of my tongue around his nipple before pulling it into my mouth and sucking. My teeth grazed against the hard nub and he thrust his hard cock up into my belly.

  “I do not,” he gasped, even though his leaking cock betrayed his words.

  I leaned up and bit the lobe of one ear. “Do too,” I whispered into his ear. He let out a whimper as my fingers teased the hair just below his happy trail. I felt the cool touch of precum brush against the back of my knuckles, but I ignored that part of him for now.

  “Fuck you. Touch it. Do it,” he growled.

  “Nah. Not yet. You’re being awfully growly right now. I think maybe you need a reminder of who’s in charge here. I recall you seeming to have a certain fascination with my hand spanking this perfect ass of yours.” As I spoke, I let my hand slip between the bedding so I could grip his ass.

  Precum dripped all over my other hand after my words sunk in and I finally couldn’t resist grabbing him and stroking. I used his fluid to coat the skin of his cock before sliding my fist up and down his length. Xander let out a groan of relief and punched his hips up into me.

  I let him have a few strokes before I moved my fingers lower to tickle his balls.

  “Benny,” he breathed. “Benny, please, baby. You’re killing me.”

  His breathing was labored and his hands reached for the sides of my face to force me to look at him. His eyes were wild and his skin was flushed. Fuck, he was stunning like this.

  “You’ve reached the begging stage already? Hm, I like it.” While I spoke, I moved my fingers even lower to massage the skin below his sac and sneak a fingertip farther back to tap lightly on the crinkled skin of his hole. Xander sucked in a breath as his eyes searched mine.

  “Do it,” he whispered. “Want you to feel good. Just go easy, okay?”

  The fact that he was going to let me fuck him because he knew it would make me feel good was enough to make my heart sw
ell. I just wished I wasn’t so goddamned scared of fucking it up somehow and disappointing him.

  “You sure?” I asked around the lump that was forming in my throat. “We don’t have to. You know I love bottoming too.”

  His face softened into a smile as he gazed at me. “I’m very sure. I love you. I want to feel you and be with you every different way possible, Benny.”

  I reached over to grab the bottle of lube on the bedside table and dropped it on the bed by his hip. Then I kissed my way across his stomach to his cock again and gave it several more good sucks and pulls.

  “Turn over, babe,” I said, raising up on my knees and patting his thigh. He flipped over without question and tucked his knees underneath him.

  I felt my breathing speed up as I looked at the long expanse of his beautiful back and the rounded cheeks of his muscular ass. I leaned down to kiss and nip at those glorious cheeks before moving my hands to pull them apart.

  “Benny…?” Xander looked over his shoulder, realizing what I was getting ready to do. My mouth landed on his hole. “Oh my fucking god!” His voice cracked as I laid into him with my tongue. “Mmpfh… mm-hmm… more,” he begged.

  I knew the more time I spent rimming him, the better off he’d be when I entered him. But the more I feasted on him, the harder I got, until I just couldn’t wait any longer. I grabbed the lube and opened the cap before squeezing some out. It was cool and slick on my fingers as I finished stretching him out.

  I forced my eyes away from his opening to see how he was doing. From the sounds of his sweet gasps and moans, he was feeling just fine. His face was mashed into the bed covers and his ass was propped in the air. I wrapped one arm around his waist and leaned across his back to kiss the side of his face.

  “Please,” he whimpered. “I need you.”

  I flipped him over onto his back and settled my cock against his. Xander’s legs immediately wrapped around me, ankles locking behind me. “Want to look into your beautiful face as I take you,” I murmured. “Want to know I’m finally inside you in every way.”