“It’s not a little.” Rylan tapped his fingers on his desk. “I need to seek permission from Father to enter the records. It’s top-secret information, involving the histories of Constanria. I can’t just let you waltz in there.”
“If you don’t let us look at it, then Sera’s going to be sent away.”
Rylan’s hard expression wavered. “What do you need from it?”
“The record of the original spell,” I said, fidgeting. “The one the Dragon Mother used to create dragons.”
Rylan snorted. I hadn’t expected amusement to come from him. “The original spell. You expect me to just hand it to you?”
“We think we might be able to use it to solve the famine.”
“Even then, who are you? A lowly member of the Council of Intelligence? You’re not even that anymore. I can’t let you go into the royal records and simply request such an important document. If that’s not favoritism, I don’t know what is. It will ruin the name of the Everbornes forev—”
Micah snarled. “You don’t have to say those things to Sera.”
“But it’s the truth, is it not? She’s an outcast now. Hated by the court. And if I help her to that extent—”
“Why are you saying such hurtful things?” I asked Rylan.
He brushed his gaze across my face then clenched his fist. “It might be hurtful, but you have to hear it. You’ll have to accept it, like I did, because Father—”
Micah rushed up to Rylan and punched his brother in the face.
I started. The desk fell over, spilling more papers onto the already messy floor.
Rylan skidded across the ground. He sat up and looked at us, his eyes still hollow. He grabbed his cheek where Micah had punched, and propped himself with his left arm. “I probably deserved that.”
I walked closer to Micah. “Stop, what are you—”
“You fucking moron,” Micah said to Rylan. “Are you listening to yourself? Can you not think about Sera feels? You want to protect the family, I understand that, but you don’t have to throw insults at her while you’re at it.”
“I know.” Rylan picked himself up. “But I’m just stating the facts.” He shot a look of challenge at Micah, as if he was taunting his brother to give him a few more punches.
Micah advanced again, raising his fist. Before he could swing at Rylan’s face, I hugged my arms around his, halting him. “Let’s go, Micah. We shouldn’t waste our breath. He’s not going to help. We’ll think of something else.”
Rylan directed his attention to me. “I’m glad you understand where I’m coming from.” He was holing himself up with all his fear and stubbornness. I wanted to fish him out of it. He’d hurt me, but his pain was so obvious.
Why did he have to make it this way?
I never should have visited Rylan. I probably should have known this would happen. I felt my heart gaping open once again, freshly wounded by a second rejection. Our plan had failed. Time to ignore the pain in my chest and come up with another plan. I wasn’t sure if I could think of something else, however, and with every passing minute, it felt like my fate was becoming increasingly set in stone.
Micah shot a glare at his brother and grabbed my arm. He led me to the exit.
“There’s one thing I can do,” Rylan said, not bothering to pick up the toppled desk or sort out the mess around his study. “But I can’t guarantee anything.”
“Save it, Rylan,” Micah said. “You’ve made it plenty obvious that you don’t care.”
Rylan shook his head. “You’re not bound by the same things I am. You don’t understand.”
“You’re just a coward. We can deal with the Gavrils. There are other ways to go about this, ways that don’t involve hurting Sera, but you’re taking the easy way out. You do everything Father asks you to because you’re his lap dog.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
Just then, Anatolia, the princess, rushed in. She halted at the doorway, looking at me, then at the mess. “What happened here?”
Rylan smiled at his sister. “Nothing, Ana. Come here.” Anatolia rushed up to her brother, and he picked her up. “What are you here for?”
“I’m bored of all the lessons Mama gives me. Let’s play.”
“Sure, what do you want to play?”
“Micah can join us. Hide and seek, maybe?” The princess glanced at me. “But you’re not invited.”
“Sorry to hear that,” I replied.
She stuck out her tongue. “Because Rylan’s mine.”
I intertwined my fingers into Micah’s. “You can have him.”
It was a mistake searching for him in the first place. At that moment, I felt a part of me dying—the part that wanted to rely on Rylan. I still had a place for him in my heart, but I felt it stitching closed.
“Let’s go, Sera,” Micah said.
“Yeah, let’s,” I replied. My feet felt heavy. I wanted to hug Rylan, to tell him to stop being so idiotic and torturing himself, but that might just set me up for being tossed aside again.
I strode off with Micah, leaving Rylan behind.
Twenty-Two
One thing I hated about my new lodgings was how stuffy they could be. The place wasn’t too small, but definitely less spacious than most of the places I studied, and the smell of dust and paper closed in around me.
I’d told Micah that, and he’d found a quiet garden for us to test out our spells. It wasn’t too far away, and few people walked through it, especially during the daytime.
We had a long list of spells written out. None of them worked, as expected, and the hope in me was starting to dim. I’d gotten another letter from my mother, demanding I send them more silvers soon. Thinking about it, I often gave them more than two-thirds of my paycheck. It probably wasn’t the wisest thing to do.
This time, without my salary, I didn’t have much remaining, so I had to send them whatever savings I had left. I still hadn’t dared tell them about the loss of my council position. Would they even want me back in the family if I failed? Would I still get to see Micah or Frederick? Or would King Gisiroth just keep me locked up in another location, not too different from this, like a rat to be tested?
I wanted not to think about these things, but the worries crept back every so often. Each failure of a spell was a testament to the bleakness I’d have to face once my time was up.
Micah tested another one. The seeds didn’t react. We were short on soul beads, and would have to go to the library to get more later, ending our current session.
“Gah,” he said. “I was hoping that one would work.” Frustration fizzled from him. I felt bad for having to drag him into this. He’d also been overworking himself the last two days to try and get me out of my predicament.
He looked just about ready to brush everything off the table. “I don’t understand. Why are these seeds so stubborn?”
“We’re trying to play god here. The Dragon Mother needed an entire village’s worth of souls to create the first dragon, and we’re just working with small critters and livestock. It’s barely enough.”
I glanced through the list we’d created. The spells were getting increasingly longer. The original spell was rumored to be pages upon pages, but the longest we’d managed to come up with was one paragraph. We simply didn’t have enough material to come up with something good. Micah had tons of spells stored in his head, and Frederick had fetched me more from the library. They lay next to us in tomes. Still, so much had been lost during the magic ban by the first queen that it wasn’t enough.
“We’ll think of another one,” I said.
Micah growled. “I’m starting to think this isn’t going to work.”
“We’re going to keep trying until something does, because I’m not going to take a loss lying down.”
“It’s hopeless.”
“No it’s not.”
“Sera, have you thought about what if this didn’t work? What are you going to do?”
“I’ll have to follow King Gis
iroth’s orders, I guess. What else can I do? I can’t fight my way out of this. I’m not some hidrae.” I laughed, though it came out darker than I’d expected.
“We could leave. Spend the rest of our lives together.”
“What?”
“I’ll pack my things. If we truly can’t think of anything, I’ll take you someplace far away, and I’ll be with you. You won’t be alone.”
“I…” I stared up at him, not knowing what to make of his proposal. “Micah, you’ll be throwing everything away for that.”
“I’m ready. I told you.”
I felt my chest quiver. “That’s… I can’t ask that much from you.”
“You’ll be mine alone. That’s enough.”
“What about… what about that recognition you wanted? You were supposed to be proving yourself—”
“I don’t care about that anymore.”
“But—”
“Queen Miriel hates me. Nothing’s ever going to change that. And so what if the officials think that I’m finally ‘worth it’? Their opinions are just that. They shouldn’t affect my life. There’s only one thing I want now.” Micah searched my eyes. I couldn’t breathe. “Maybe it’s better that the others left, because now I can have you all to myself.”
“Micah…” The way he looked at me made my head spin. “We’ll worry about that later.” Would I just be happy with him?
Yes, I would. Micah brought joy to my life. But what about the others? I cared about them too.
But they’d walked out. And without the three of them, it felt like something was missing. Why was I so greedy? Any girl in Constanria would be happy to just have Micah. But I missed Kael’s laughter, Rylan’s resoluteness, and even stupid Gaius and his clumsy ways. Would I ever be able to see them again once I left?
“Let’s try another,” I said, running my fingers through the list. I picked the next one and called to the soul beads. The spell was on the tip of my tongue.
“Yeah,” Micah replied. He hadn’t been paying attention to what I was doing, and then he summoned the spell as well.
Magic swirled around the both of us simultaneously.
A growling rumbled from next to me. And that rushing sensation sputtered through my soul.
Oh no.
I remembered what had happened with Gaius the last time. When we both used soul magic together, it had made him go out of control. Apparently, the same thing happened with Micah too.
I should have been more careful, but Micah’s suggestion had thrown me out of sorts. Slowly, I turned to look at Micah. His yellow eyes flashed, and hunger took over his expression. His wings had folded from his back, and the animal in him had taken over.
“Micah, please,” I said, standing and backing away.
Running was probably the wrong thing to do, because predators liked to chase down their prey. My movements sparked something in Micah. He leapt at me, taking my wrists in his hands. He tossed me against the pillar. His body pressed tightly against me, digging my back into the cool marble.
I gasped. “Micah, get a hold of yourself.”
The growl continued to simmer through him, sending vibrations through my skin. He burrowed his head into my neck. “Mine,” he said.
“You don’t want to do this,” I said. But maybe he really did. And I wanted him, too. “Okay…” I steadied my breathing. “It’s okay.” I reached my hands up, about to hug him.
“Mine,” he said again, almost purring.
My body shook with anticipation and fear. That one simple word put my mind out of order.
And then Micah’s touch was torn away from me, and he was flying across the garden. He smashed into a bench. A menacing roar ripped from his throat as he pulled himself back up to his feet.
“Kael?” Kael was standing in front of me. The usual smirk wasn’t on his face. He drew a dagger. I moved from the pillar. “Holy Aereala, please don’t hurt him.” The scent of alcohol wafted from Kael. Hidraes weren’t supposed to be that affected by alcohol. How much exactly had he been drinking?
Micah jumped at me again. Kael lunged toward him, kicking him at the side. Micah thumped on the ground, but he was feral, and recovered quickly. Spinning, Kael made another maneuver, and Micah ended up on his back with Kael’s boot pressing down on his chest. Kael pointed the long dagger at Micah’s throat.
“Take control of your dragon, baby brother,” Kael said. There was an edge to his voice that I’d never heard before.
“Kael…” I inched closer to them. If another fight started, I wasn’t sure if I’d be crushed. “Don’t hurt Micah.”
“I won’t,” Kael snapped at me.
Tension was tight between the three of us.
“All right,” Micah said, the human tones returning to his voice, “you can get off me now.”
Kael stepped back. He sheathed his dagger and pulled Micah up to his feet. “Looks like it’s not safe if you’re spending time alone with her. Why are you doing that, anyway? Rylan gave the order.”
“Rylan can suck on Gaean’s balls,” Micah said. He swept the dirt off his pants and shot me a look of apology.
My pulse began to calm. What if… what if Micah had taken that further? I didn’t know if I would have minded it that much.
“You really shouldn’t be talking about him like that,” Kael said. “He’s our older brother. And he’s been caring for us since we were kids.”
Micah snorted. “You didn’t hear what he told Sera yesterday.”
“Was it about the royal records?”
“How did you know?”
Kael lifted his other hand. I hadn’t realized he was carrying a scroll till then. He gestured to the document. “He sent me here to pass this to you.” That meant that he had faced a feral Micah nearly one-handed.
Micah took the sheet from him. He looked through it. “But this is…”
“Rylan had to pull a lot of strings to get that. You ought to be grateful.”
“What is it?” I asked, trying to get the image of Micah lunging at me from my mind as I strode up to them.
“The original spell,” Micah said, handing the long scroll to me. It was twice, maybe thrice as long as a usual document, and the words were crammed into fine lines.
Kael folded his arms. “Rylan spent the entire night scribing that for you. He had to dodge a lot of questions from Gisiroth when asking for entrance into the royal records. You ought to be grateful.” Kael sighed. “He says he’s sorry that we can’t be together. And that this was the least he could have done.”
“Rylan did all this?” I asked, not sure what to feel. The sadness from yesterday still lingered in me, and I wasn’t certain if this touching gesture amplified or calmed it. “It… looks like a lot of work.”
“He cares for you, Sera-kit. Pushing you away is probably hurting him as much as you. He made himself the villain because it was on his shoulders to cut ties. The responsibility is always on him.”
“What about you?” I asked Kael.
He shrugged and turned on his heels.
“Where are you going?”
“Does it matter?”
“You’ve been drinking.”
The recent events didn’t seem to have treated him well either. “All of it tastes like water to me.”
“Don’t do it too much. I know hidraes are almost immune to the effects, but that much can’t be good for you. You smell like you’ve just bathed in a pool of alcohol.”
“Aw, it’s nice to know that you care, Sera-kit.” He grinned, which was more characteristic of him, even though that smile seemed forced. He patted me on the head. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Take care of yourself.” He regarded Micah. “Treat her well, baby brother. You’re probably the luckiest of us. And don’t go feral on her again.”
“That was a mistake,” Micah said, grabbing my hand and squeezing it.
Kael walked away. “See you around,” he said, regarding me one last time. “Or maybe not. I’ll need more excuses to come bac
k.”
He winked at me, then took off like the wind. I watched him for as long as I could, until he disappeared into the skies.
“Sera?” Micah said, calling my attention. “You might want to take a look at this.”
He was standing next to the table we had been working on. I strode toward him and directed my gaze to the thing he was staring at. The seeds we used were usually a dull brown, but this batch glowed bright orange.
“It… it changed,” I said, eyes widening. I picked up the list of spells and looked at the last spell we used. “Invongar respodalis vin garlis ron siras. How do we know if the seed will work?”
“We have that spell we figured out from Gaius.” Micah raised his hand, summoning his magic, and said, “Paraci involuntis.”
The seed sprouted and grew where it was, sucking up the souls from the beads.
Hope bubbled in me. I watched with heightened anticipation.
And then the plant that grew from it withered and died, killing my hope along with it.
“It’s progress,” Micah said.
I nodded. I picked up another seed and tried the same spell. I was hoping to turn the seed to bright orange, but it didn’t react.
“Why isn’t it working?” I said, feeling frustration rise.
Micah breathed out a sigh. “I don’t know. But there has to be a reason why. We’ll figure it out.”
“I certainly hope we will.”
Twenty-Three
My lunch probably had something bad in it. When I walked into the library, I was feeling a little groggy, and sweat beaded on my forehead. I sucked in a deep breath, trying to keep myself from toppling over.
We needed more magic, and Micah was still busy trying to decipher and translate the original spell Rylan had given us. I volunteered to head over to the library to get more already-filled soul beads. Apparently, Frederick had told us that the library was storing them for scholars to experiment with magic. It was a long walk from where I stayed, and Micah fetching me probably would have been faster, but I needed a long stroll to clear my head and didn’t mind the distance.
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