He chuckles. “Would you like me to show you?”
I hesitate. Will keeps my body bowstring taught as he strokes me from base to tip, but only every few beats so I won’t come. Fucking cock tease.
“Answer me.” He brings his palm down on my arse cheek again and it stings like a bitch, which lets me know he was holding back before. If it’s even possible, I grow harder.
“Yes,” I shout, furious with him for making me want this. Whatever the fuck this is. “Yes, fuck you. Yes, I want it. Show me, you sadistic little arsehole. Give me whatever you got.”
Will sighs contentedly. He leans forward, sliding his cock along the crease of my arse, his weight bearing down on my back as he whispers in my ear, “You might come to regret that when you can’t sit down at work tomorrow, but we’ll start out slow.”
Fear creeps along my spine, but desire floods my entire body, and despite his threats, I want it. I want that delicious spike of pain tempered with pleasure. Will grabs hold of his dick and slides it over my arsehole, setting all my nerve endings on fire. As much as I loved it last time, I’m fully prepared for how much this shit is going to hurt. My heart races, and I hold my breath, my whole body tensed. His wide head skims my arse again, and his long fingers spread my cheeks apart.
“For this to work, you need to relax,” Will says.
“I’m fucking trying.”
He shifts back and bows his head. His warm, wet tongue licks my arsehole, circling the sensitive flesh.
“Oh fuck, Will.”
His finger presses against me, replacing his tongue, and I cry out when he pushes inside and my muscles clamp around him. It burns at first, but once his finger is settled almost all the way in, I relax. Until Will sweeps the single digit over my prostate, that is. I jolt; my balls pull in close to my body and my cock stands to attention and shouts. Yes, sir. Present, sir. How fucking high shall I jump for you, sir?
He crooks his finger, and my entire body doesn’t just go electric—it is electric. I could light up a whole fucking city right now. He eases out, and a second later I hear the snap from the lube bottle, as two wet fingers butt against my arse and push into me. I groan and hedge back against the hand doing fucking insane things to my insides. Will moves his fingers in a vibrating motion against my prostate while the other hand grasps the base of my cock. He doesn’t jerk me, though. Instead he lets his fingers work me to a fucking frenzy.
“You like that? My fingers in your arse?”
I don’t answer because I think it’s pretty fucking evident, given that I’m moaning like a whore, I’m rock hard, and about thirty seconds from coming.
“Answer me,” Will demands, and he releases my cock, only to slap it a second later as punishment.
What the fuck?
I grunt, pissed off because by now I really need to come, and I’m not loving this game. I know I said I wanted all the dirty things he promised, but I’m not so on board with that plan anymore.
Who the fuck is this person and what has he done with Will?
“Jesus,” I hiss. “Yes, I fucking love your fingers in my arse.”
Will sweeps his fingers over my prostate again. My whole body shudders. My thighs quake and threaten to collapse into the hard futon. “Play with your cock.”
“I can’t, I’ll come,” I pant.
“Play with it, but don’t come. If you come, I’ll punish you.”
I suck in a sharp breath through my teeth. A part of me wants to know whether it’s worth pissing him off, so I ask, “How?”
“Nice try. Hands on your dick, North, and I mean it—if I see even a drop of come leave your slit, I’m gonna kick your fucking arse.”
I groan and do as he orders, sliding my fist over the head and moving downwards. I take a deep breath and tug on my balls, trying to get them to quit shrivelling up inside my body. Will shifts his fingers inside me, varying his rhythm, but he never strays too long from that sweet spot. I’m a trembling, whimpering mess of a man, and I don’t give a shit. The whole world could break apart around me and I doubt I’d notice.
“Fuck,” I growl. I’m not even touching my cock and already I can feel my orgasm creeping up from the root of me, ready to burst free.
Will’s fingers slip from my body, and the mattress dips as he hovers over me. He spreads more lube over my arse crack and shoves inside with one swift movement. The burn of his wide head stretching me is enough to stave off coming, but only for a beat, and then I’m right back to shaking limbs, and heavy breaths, and more pleasure than I know what to do with. His lips hover by my ear, and I buck underneath him in a rage because all I want is to come and I hate him for keeping that pleasure from me.
“Don’t do it, North,” he whispers. “Don’t you dare fucking come yet. I’m gonna give you the best goddamn orgasm of your life, but you have to wait.”
“I can’t,” I tell him, attempting to move away from his grasp, yet finding myself pinned. “Fuck, Will,”
“No!” Will growls in my ear, thrusting into me. “You fucking wait for me. Don’t you dare come yet.”
I breathe and hold back from the edge I’m teetering on. I don’t want to, but I do it because I’m not a pussy. I won’t let him think he has the upper hand, even if it’s true. It isn’t about games. Will owns me, no contest. He always has, and if he doesn’t know that by now, then he’s an idiot.
“Wait, for me, baby.”
“Goddamn you,” I yell. “I fucking hate this. I hate the way you turn my whole life upside-fucking-down.”
“Face it.” He grunts, quickening his pace. “You’d be bored without me.”
“Fuck, Will, I need to come.” Will reaches around my side and takes my dick in his hand. His balls smack against my arse as his cock drives into me with delicious, torturous strokes.
“I don’t want you to ever forget this moment. I want you thinking of me every single fucking time you come.”
My orgasm slams into me. Shaking, breathless, and more exposed than I’ve ever felt, I shoot all over the mattress and collapse forward into it. As he finishes inside me I know Will’s fears are all unfounded, because this man owns every last cell in my body. He knows it and I know it, and there’s no chance he’ll ever let me forget it.
For weeks we’d been hiding out in Will’s apartment after hours. I know it’s my doing that we’re tucked away in his room, sneaking around like horny teens, but I can’t stand the sight of these four walls any longer. Hell, last night I even caved and began cleaning up the place. My body was sore from the fuck marathon we’d had, but my mind was restless. And as I laid in Will’s arms I realised that with me being here, taking up the hours from closing to opening, that messy fucker wasn’t going to clean up until the garbage was piled so high around us that if it fell, they wouldn’t find our bodies for a week beneath the rubble. I got through ten minutes of cleaning before he lured me back into bed.
It looks fractionally better, but I’m still done being in this room. I feel cooped up, like a caged bird, and I’m so fucking sick of listening to Will’s emo music. Like I didn’t have reason enough to want to slit my goddamn wrists.
“We should get out of here.”
“What?” Will looks up from the TV and sets down his beer. “Where the fuck you wanna go?”
“Somewhere no one knows us,” I say, climbing onto the futon beside him. I run my hands up his jean-clad thigh, and smile when his cock stiffens. “Somewhere we can be ourselves and not have to hide. Somewhere that I can fuck you.”
“Um, not that I don’t love the sound of that, but unless you’re talking hotels, last time I checked public exposure is still very much illegal.”
“I just mean somewhere that I can hold your hand, kiss you in public, and it wouldn’t matter.”
“There’s a gay pub in Newcastle. We could drive there now and still be back before two.”
“Let’s go.”
“Yeah?” Will asks, grinning.
I shrug. “Let’s do it.”
> “Alright, but you’re driving,” he says, practically bouncing off the futon. He heads over to his closet and starts throwing clothes on the bed. “You wanna borrow something of mine to wear?”
“What’s wrong with this?”
“Your shirt says ‘I got hos in different area codes’ and it has a picture of Santa on it.”
“So?”
“It’s June, North.”
“I like this shirt,” I say. It had been one of those joke presents the boys at work had given me for my birthday. “It’s funny.”
“No, it’s really not,” he says, making a ‘hand it over’ gesture.
“Well, just give me one of yours that doesn’t have a death metal band on it.” Will just looks at me. “You do own regular T-shirts don’t you?”
“These are my regular T-shirts. And in what universe have I ever listened to death metal?”
“Whatever. Give me your least offensive one.”
“Like anything I own is more offensive than that shit you’re wearing now,” he mutters.
“Shut up and hand me something,” I say, and strip off my shirt. I catch the one he throws, a threadbare Mr Bungle T-shirt. It’s a snug fit, and when I pull it down over my shoulders I can barely move my arms in it. “Really? This is way too tight.”
Will comes over and tugs on the sleeves. “It looks hot.”
I shake my head, looking down at myself. Every single ridge and plain of muscle is on show. Even though I always loved Mr Bungle, it feels decidedly gay. “I can’t wear this; it’s too tight.”
Will appraises me like I’m something he wants to eat, and then says, “Maybe it wouldn’t be if you quit using steroids when you lift at the gym with your buddies.”
“Shut the fuck up. You’ve never complained about my size before.”
“Quit being such a pussy, North.”
“I need to be able to drive.”
Will rolls the sleeves so they rest on my shoulders. It’s still tight, but I have the use of my arms again, so I guess I can’t complain. He squeezes my bicep. “There. The boys will love it.”
“I don’t care about anyone else.”
“Smart response, Mr Underwood,” he says, squeezing my arse and heading for the door. I feel almost giddy at the thought of getting to touch him in public. I don’t dance on account of no rhythm, but just the idea of being able to kiss him, of touching him gets me hard. I don’t realise I’m absentmindedly stroking my cock through my jeans until Will turns and glares at me.
“You coming, Captain Touchy Feely, or would you rather stay here and grease your pole?”
I follow and together we head out the back to my truck.
When we reach Newcastle, my mood has soured. Will has been talking on his mobile, failing to tell me where to go, so I’ve spent the last ten minutes driving aimlessly until he gets his shit together and decides to hang up the goddamn phone.
“Josh is gonna meet us there,” he says, tucking the phone into a pocket on the console. “Make a left here. Why the hell have we been driving in circles?”
I swallow down my anger, or at least I try to. I’m not really fooling anyone, though, when I ask, “Who’s Josh?”
“My fuc … friend. He’s my friend.”
“Wait, the guy you bone?”
“What are we, ten years old?” Will laughs. “When was the last time you heard anyone use that term? Yes, Josh is my fuck buddy, or he used to be. One jealous cockhead in my bed is enough.”
“I didn’t say I was jealous.” I’m sure he can hear my teeth grinding from the passenger seat.
“You didn’t have to.”
I sigh. “Look, I know it’s not my place to tell you this, but don’t fuck anyone else.”
Will chuckles, like that shit’s funny. “You’re right, it’s not your place to tell me anything, but if I decide I do want to fuck someone else, I’ll tell you first.”
I dart my gaze from the road to his face, because I need to know if he’s just being Will, or if we need to have the talk and lay down some important fucking ground rules. “Wait, you’re serious?”
“As a heart attack,” he says, deadpan.
“You’d consider fucking another man while we’re together?”
“Are we together though? Can you really call it that when all we do is sneak around and fuck behind closed doors, and you steal away into the night in case someone starts asking questions?”
Fuck. Jesus, he’s right. I don’t have any say in this because I can’t even give him a second look in public. I don’t get to say shit about who he sleeps with because I’m not man enough to front up and claim him as my own.
No matter how many steps we take forward it always seems like I’m dragging us two steps back.
I unclench my hands from the steering wheel before I wind up snapping the bloody thing in two. “Don’t flirt with anyone tonight.”
“Why would you just automatically assume that I would flirt?” He studies me in the dark cab. “I don’t have anyone else to impress. If I wanted some other guy, I’d have him, but I sure as hell wouldn’t be bringing you along for the ride. Unless you were up for it?”
“Don’t,” I warn.
Will holds his hands up in a placating gesture. “Alright, enough with the teasing. Would you just find a park already? The bar is right there.” He points to a bar with a shiny black tile façade. The neon lights above the door read Sinners, and despite it being one a.m. on a Sunday night, there’s still a line of people waiting to get in and a bouncer out the front who looks bored shitless. I almost rear-end the car in front of me, trying to get a good look at the place as we pass.
I find a park a couple of metres from the entrance, and pull into it. We climb out of the car, and Will surprises me by coming around to my side and taking my hand. My instinct is to pull away because we’re in public, but he just raises a brow at me and I relax and nod. From across the street, loud music can be heard, an endless stream of doof-doof beats with Bruno Mars’ voice mixed in, which is faint but can still be recognised easily.
“You ready?”
“No,” I say, but he tugs me across the street anyway. There’s a line consisting of at least twenty people in front of the club, and the entire time we wait I cast my gaze up and down the street, terrified of being recognised.
“Would you chill the fuck out?”
“Sorry.” I smooth sweaty palms against my jeans. Will surprises me by grabbing my chin and tilting my face up to his. He kisses me, and despite how uncomfortable I feel, I wrap my arms around him and kiss him back. We’re met with cheers from the group behind us, and an outspoken cry of “Get a room,” and “Invite me along to watch”. Nervous laughter bubbles up in my throat.
We finally make it past the bouncer’s little rainbow-coloured velvet rope, and Will pulls me into a dark bar with booths along one side, a white Day-Glo dancefloor down the front and a huge bar smack-bang in the middle with a backlit Da Vinci-style painting of an all-male orgy. My dick twitches just looking at it, despite my kneejerk reaction to feel repulsion or look away.
“It’s a masterpiece isn’t it?” Will shouts into my ear.
The rest of the club has this whole saints versus sinners vibe, black leather booths line the walls and stark white lights glow above them in the shapes of halos. It’s not at all the seedy fuck-fest I’d envisioned. I don’t know if I’m relieved or disappointed. “Come on. I want you to meet Josh.”
Josh is also not at all what I had in mind. I guess I’d been excepting a bigger, better, more gay version of me. North 2.0. Now with Bermuda shorts and accessories. Batteries not included.
Josh unmistakably plays for the same team—that much was clear. He’s attractive, not hot. He clearly kept himself in shape, and ginger flecks his blond hair and stubble. He holds his hand out for me to shake, and I do. I probably shake it a little too hard to make up for any inadequacies I feel. He notices.
“Wow, that’s some grip. No mistaking you’re a man’s man, is there?
” He winks and then gives Will a pointed look. Will glares and Josh turns his attention back to me. “So, is it as gay as you thought?”
“Excuse me?”
“The bar? As terrifying as you thought?”
I frown. “I wasn’t terrified.”
“North, he’s fucking with you,” Will says, and he and Josh share an unspoken exchange that riles me completely. I don’t like that they can communicate their thoughts the way Will and I can without having a fucking conversation, and I really don’t like that Josh had been the one warming Will’s bed until recently.
“He’s right. I am. I’m a little overprotective of our Will here.” He wraps his arm around Will’s shoulder and I clench my jaw. “I see you are too, so let’s get something out in the air so that we can enjoy our night. I know all about you, North Underwood, and even knowing what I know, I can’t say I blame Will for trying.”
“What the fuck does that mean?” I snap.
“It means that if you weren’t such a hetero head-fuck, and if Will wasn’t one of my best friends, I’d be devising a plan to get inside those very snug-fitting jeans of yours. However, because I don’t have time to train a hetero to play gay, you’re safe. But ...”
“Hey, be nice,” Will says.
“I’m almost done.” Josh holds up his index finger to Will in a not now gesture. “Anyway, hurt my friend again, and I will kick your arse. Now, who needs a drink?”
“Yeah, get us both one,” Will says, taking out his wallet. Josh waves him away and walks off toward the bar.
“Nice friend,” I say to Will, resisting the urge to put speech quotations around the last word.
“Sorry, I didn’t anticipate him turning into a raging queen just now,” Will says sheepishly. “He’s just looking out for me.”
Will gestures for me to sit and I slide into the booth. There’s a young blond sitting opposite us that Josh hadn’t even bothered to introduce us too. The guy glances up from his phone long enough to smile, and then goes back to texting.
“Hey, I’m Will. This is North,” Will says.
Finding North Page 9