He took a sip of his chocolate and leaned back in his seat. “Over half of the women I teach are living in the tenements, raising children by themselves with no man around to help support them. As you saw, several young women in class are obviously expecting babies.” Ben shrugged. “They aren’t all married and I fear any of them might give their children away if things get too hard for them. I want to help them be able to find positions that will provide a living for them, so they won’t do...what my own mother did. Drop those babies off at an orphanage.”
Rebecca’s heart seemed to shatter at his words. The very thought that Ben’s mother had abandoned him made her want to weep. She blinked to hold back tears. “I’m so sorry, Ben. I didn’t know.”
“It’s not something I talk about. But you wanted to know why I care so much and that’s it. However, I am a man and their teacher, and I must be careful in how I help. I feel my job is to teach them the skills they must have to get a decent job.”
He looked out the window for a moment before continuing. “But I believe they need to talk to a woman who has lived in similar conditions, who knows things can change for the better. They need someone to encourage them on a level I can’t. That’s why I asked you to help.”
Rebecca couldn’t resist—not after he’d opened up to her. Besides, she wanted to help others and he’d just given her an opportunity to do so. “I’ll do what I can.”
“Thank you, Rebecca. That’s all I ask.”
Wanting to comfort him, Rebecca impulsively reached over and touched his hand. “Ben, for what it’s worth, and speaking as a mother...I’m sure your mother must have thought she had no choice. And giving you up had to have been the most difficult thing she ever had to do.”
Ben’s fingers curled around hers and squeezed, sending a shot of electricity straight to her heart. “Thank you, Rebecca. Your thoughts are worth more than you realize.”
The expression in his eyes warmed her as much as the hot chocolate she’d been sipping had and she quickly slipped her fingers away from his. “I guess we’d better be going.”
“I suppose so.” He looked out the window. “I think our trolley is coming now.”
They took one more sip of their drinks before heading outside. Rebecca almost hated for the evening to end, but the sudden burst of cold air took her breath away and brought her to her senses. She couldn’t start weaving sweet moments into impossible dreams—no matter how very much she longed to.
Chapter Four
The ride back to Heaton House was quiet. Ben seemed lost in his thoughts and Rebecca didn’t know what to say. Her own thoughts were in turmoil, wondering how he must have felt all these years to know his mother gave him up, and trying to keep from thinking about how her heart had skittered at his touch.
She liked this man sitting next to her very much but she couldn’t begin to care for him in any way except as a friend. There would only be heartache to follow if she did.
She was more like those women in his class than he knew. And even though he wanted to help them all, when it came to his heart, no man wanted to court a used woman and that was a fact she’d accepted long ago. She must take care not to let herself forget it now.
“Thank you again for agreeing to help, Rebecca,” Ben said, breaking into her thoughts. “Please don’t think I expect you to fix these women’s lives. I know they are the only ones who can do that...and then only with God’s help. I’d just like them to realize they can get through it all and make a good life for themselves. But I don’t expect you to have to do any more than listen and encourage them, if they come to you. And if it becomes too much...”
The expression in his eyes was so earnest she had to reassure him. “I’ll let you know.”
Their trolley came to a stop and it was so cold out that Rebecca was relieved when he said, “Let’s make a run for it!”
“Let’s!” It was just what she wanted to do.
They took off laughing and she wondered if Ben felt as much like a child as she did. They reached Heaton House and hurried inside to the fireplace in the parlor.
“I’m so cold my teeth are chattering,” Rebecca said, proving her point.
“Gretchen is making hot chocolate. That should warm you up,” her mother said.
“We had some already and it didn’t help for long.” Ben shivered.
“It will this time,” Mrs. Heaton said. “You aren’t going back out into the cold tonight.”
“How was Jenny, Mama? Did she give you any trouble?”
“None at all. I read her a story and listened to her prayers just a little while ago. I think she was asleep before I left the room.”
“She usually is.” Rebecca turned to warm her hands at the same time Ben did. Both of them were still shaking.
“She played charades with us before Mrs. Heaton put her to bed,” Julia said. “She’s very smart, Rebecca.”
Rebecca turned back around with a smile. “Thank you. I think so, too.”
“She takes after you,” Ben whispered to her.
“Do you think so?” Rebecca felt heat rise in her face, but was it because she was standing at the fireplace or because of Ben’s compliment?
“I do.”
Maida, Gretchen’s sister, came in with a loaded tray of steaming hot chocolate and they all took a cup. Rebecca sipped hers and let it slide down her throat. “Finally, I’m beginning to feel warm again.”
Ben smiled at her over the brim of his cup. “Me, too.”
“So how did your first class go, Rebecca?” Millicent asked.
“It went very well. Ben is a very good teacher. He managed to hold everyone’s attention through math. And I think he has a few admirers in his class.”
Ben shook his head. “No, I don’t think so.”
He seemed flushed and she wondered if she’d embarrassed him. She hoped not. But she was afraid to say more in case she made it worse.
“Well, I’m going to go check on Jenny. And I have homework to do, thanks to my teacher.” She grinned at Ben before crossing the room to kiss her mother on the cheek. “Thank you for watching over my girl, Mama.”
Her mother leaned close and whispered, “You know Ben has been added to her prayer list, don’t you?”
Rebecca glanced over at the man and then back to her mother. “I do. He’s kind of become her hero since he caught her that day.”
“I figured as much. And that’s good. Every girl needs one.”
And every woman needed a hero, too. But Rebecca couldn’t allow herself to start thinking of Ben that way. “I’m going up now.”
“Good night, dear.”
“Night, Mama.” Rebecca turned back to the others in the room. “See you all tomorrow.”
She left the room with a chorus of “Good night” behind her and headed up the stairs.
Rebecca quietly entered Jenny’s room and looked down on her daughter. One arm was flung over her head, and her even breathing told Rebecca she was sleeping peacefully. She leaned down and planted a kiss on her forehead and almost wished Jenny would wake up so she could tell her she loved her. But Jenny slept on and Rebecca didn’t disturb her dreams.
She tiptoed to the bathroom separating their rooms and pulled the door shut most of the way, but left it open enough to hear Jenny should she awake in the night. Not that she would, but Rebecca had shared a room with her for so long that she couldn’t bring herself to shut the doors between them at night, except while she readied herself for bed.
Still a little chilled, she made quick work of it and opened the door once more. She went to her bedside and knelt to say her prayers, thanking the Lord for her daughter, for being reunited with her family and for forgiving her for bringing them pain.
And then she whispered, “Dear Lord, please comfort Ben tonight. I know it couldn’t ha
ve been easy for him to open up to me and tell me about his mother. The memories must be terribly painful for him. Please give him peace. In Jesus’ precious name, amen.”
Rebecca slid beneath the covers and pulled them up high. Then she closed her eyes and listened...yes, in the quiet of the night she could hear Jenny’s light breathing. She smiled and turned over. What would she do without her?
People around her in the tenements had urged Rebecca to give her up when she began showing—put her in an orphanage like Ben’s mother had done. And she had given it some thought. But much as she knew she’d done wrong by trusting Jenny’s father, she couldn’t add to her sins by deserting her child.
She wondered what it had been like for Ben when he was Jenny’s age...to know that he’d been left on the doorstep of an orphanage and that his own mother had deserted him. Her heart squeezed tight just thinking of it. Still, he’d grown up to be a wonderful man—but without the love of his mother. Suddenly, the tears Rebecca had fought when Ben told her about what his mother had done flooded her eyes and she buried her head in her pillow and wept for him.
* * *
Ben didn’t tarry in the parlor long after Rebecca left. He went down to his room thinking back over her remark at the café about some of the women being sweet on him. The thought had him a bit unsettled. He sincerely hoped not. He tried to be very careful not to give the impression that he might be attracted to any of them, because he truly didn’t return any interest like that. He wasn’t there to find romance—he wanted to help those women better their lives. He cared about them to that extent only.
However...Rebecca was different. Something about her touched him in a way no one else ever had; otherwise, he’d never have been so open with her tonight. He couldn’t put a name to what drew him to her, but the pull was strong and tonight he’d had to remind himself that he’d vowed never to fall in love again.
But the way Rebecca had reached out to him after he’d told her about his mother abandoning him, and her effort to comfort him with her assurance that his mother must have thought she had no choice had him on the verge of rethinking the vow he’d made.
Only for a moment, though, because Rebecca seemed to draw away and whatever dreams he’d thought to weave had disappeared before they ever formed. Which was probably for the best—he couldn’t let himself begin to care too much for her.
Ben had a feeling Rebecca was as determined as he was not to trust her heart to another. Besides, she had Jenny to think of and that would most likely add to her resolve.
Still, he had enjoyed the evening in her company a great deal and he looked forward to class on Thursday, too. Surely they could be good friends. He didn’t realize until tonight how much he needed to have someone he could confide in. Oh, the people at Heaton House were his friends. He even considered them his family, and he probably could have told any of them what he’d told Rebecca and they would have cared. But he’d never felt the need or desire to tell them.
If Rebecca hadn’t asked such a straightforward question tonight, he probably never would have told her. But he was glad he had. Hard as it was to tell her he’d been dumped at the orphanage by his mother, Ben felt as if a load of baggage had been lifted from his shoulders. He didn’t feel the need to tell others, but he also no longer felt the dread of telling anyone and seeing the pity in their eyes.
He’d never liked to think about it at all, and up until tonight, he’d always assumed his mother just didn’t want him. Rebecca’s insistence that his mother must have felt she had no other choice gave him something more to think about now. He wasn’t sure he agreed with her, but he found he very much wanted to.
He was glad Rebecca had agreed to help some of the ladies in his class however she could, especially after tonight. If she could make him feel better, he was certain she’d be able to encourage those women.
All he had to do now was keep his attraction to her from growing. Ben had a feeling that was going to be much easier said than done.
* * *
The next morning, Ben came up from downstairs just as Rebecca and Jenny entered the foyer. Jenny’s smile was contagious and he answered it with one of his own. “Good morning, Miss Jenny.”
“Good morning, Mr. Ben,” Jenny said. “How did Mama do in class last night?”
“She did very well.”
“I knew she would. Granma and I prayed she would last night.”
“I’m sure those prayers helped.” Rebecca smiled down at her daughter as they entered the dining room. “Keep them up, okay?”
“I will, Mama.”
“Good morning, everyone,” Mrs. Heaton said from the end of the table.
“Morning, Granma!” Jenny held her plate while Rebecca filled it from the sideboard. Her grandmother helped Jenny get settled at the table while Rebecca filled her own plate.
Ben helped himself to sausage, eggs and the best biscuits around and took his seat at the table. “You two are up earlier than usual today. Do you have a big day planned?” he asked.
“We’re going to drop Jenny off to help Aunt Violet with baby Marcus while Mama and I do the shopping this morning. And I might visit Kathleen later today to see if she needs any help getting ready for the housewarming this weekend,” Rebecca said. “I’m going to telephone her after breakfast.”
“That is coming up, isn’t it? It will be good to get together with everyone again,” Ben said.
“It certainly will,” Mrs. Heaton said. “And next week the workers will be here to start remodeling the third floor. It shouldn’t take too long to make the changes. Once it’s finished, I’ll put an advertisement in the paper. Or do you think I should just put a sign out?”
“I’d put the sign out. You’re more likely to get people who know of or have heard of Heaton House that way and I think you’d have your new boarders in no time,” Ben said.
“I think Ben’s right, Mama,” Rebecca added.
“I’ll give it a try. If it doesn’t work, I’ll put an ad in the paper. I’ve always acquired new boarders quickly and I do hate to keep turning down people who see the ad after I’ve let the rooms.
Ben stood. “I’d better get going. You all have a nice day and I’ll see you later.”
“Bye, Mr. Ben,” Jenny said. “See you later.”
“I look forward to it, Jenny. You have fun with baby Marcus.”
She nodded. “I will.”
Ben’s gaze met Rebecca’s and her smile warmed him clear through to his heart. Funny how none of the other woman here had ever had that effect on him. He liked them all, but he’d never felt...quite the same way about them. He still didn’t know why it’d been so easy to open up to Rebecca as he had the night before. But he wasn’t sorry. He hoped one day she’d open up to him.
* * *
After dropping Jenny off at Michael and Violet’s to play with baby Marcus, and having some hug-and-kisses time with him themselves, Rebecca and her mother were on their way to the grocer’s. The day before, they’d taken stock of the kitchen pantry, made a menu for the rest of the week and then prepared a shopping list from the menu.
The grocer welcomed them in and her mother introduced them. “Mr. Hale, this is my daughter, Rebecca Dickerson. She’ll be doing some of the shopping in the future and I’m going to show her how I go about it.”
“I’m pleased to meet you, Mrs. Dickerson. There’s no one better to teach a person about ordering for a boardinghouse than your mother. You’ll learn a lot from her. I do hope we’ll still be seeing you, too, Mrs. Heaton?”
“Of course you will. But I have two precious grandchildren to spend time with now and I won’t mind giving up grocery-buying time to do that when I can.”
“Ah, well, I can understand that. I’ve a couple grandchildren of my own I like to spend time with. It’s too bad my wife passed away before they were born. She
would have loved being a grandmother, just as you do.”
The expression in Mr. Hale’s eyes as he looked at her mother made Rebecca wonder if he might be a bit attracted to her. She could definitely see he had great respect for her mother and within a few minutes she knew why.
She was very precise in the amounts she ordered, she had no problem asking for the best price he could give her and she insisted on the freshest of everything she ordered, from vegetables to dairy products. She zipped around the store faster than Rebecca could keep up with her.
“Mama, slow down a bit. I’m trying to take notes, but you’re going much too fast for me.”
The proprietor chuckled. “She goes too fast for me sometimes, too, Mrs. Dickerson.”
Her mother came to a sudden stop and turned to them with a smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was being hard to keep up with. I’ll try to go a little slower.”
She did just that, which gave Rebecca a chance to make a list of things she needed to remember on the small note pad she’d brought with her.
When they had finished giving the grocer their order for staples—flour, sugar and the like, then fruits, mostly canned this time of year, and vegetables, some canned and some fresh—Rebecca was surprised that the end price wasn’t higher.
The grocer promised to have everything delivered as soon as possible, and then it was on to the butcher’s for the meat. The day was quite chilly, but nothing like it’d been the night before. The wind had died down and while the air was brisk, it didn’t take one’s breath away and they were able to converse along the way.
“Mama, I think Mr. Hale might be sweet on you.”
Her mother looked at her and laughed. “Oh, Rebecca. No. I don’t think so. He just likes my business.”
“I don’t think that’s all he likes. I saw the way he looked at you. He is a widower. Perhaps he’s in the market for a wife.”
“Well, it certainly wouldn’t be me. I enjoy watching my boarders’ romances, but remarrying is not something I ever give a thought to for myself. Your papa was my first and only love, dear.”
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