“I might as well go, too.” Millicent yawned.
“Ben, you’re going to carry Rebecca up, aren’t you?” Julia asked as the two women started toward the foyer.
“I am.”
“Then hand me your crutches, Rebecca, and I’ll take them upstairs with me. I’ll leave them at your door.”
Rebecca hesitated for only a minute. “I suppose that’s a good idea.”
Ben put his hand at Rebecca’s waist to steady her while she handed her crutches to Julia, then he lifted her into his arms. She slipped her arms around his neck and he smiled at her.
“I’m sure you’ll be almost as glad as I will be when I can manage the stairs by myself.”
“I really don’t mind, Rebecca.” At all.
Julia and Millicent were already upstairs by the time Ben reached the first step. He only just now realized how he’d been looking forward to having Rebecca in his arms once more.
He shifted her and her arms around his neck tightened. His gaze moved from her eyes to her lips and he heard the catch in her breath before he looked into her eyes again. Could she tell what he was thinking? That he wanted nothing more in that instant than to kiss her?
Chapter Eleven
Rebecca caught her breath at the expression in Ben’s gaze as it moved from her eyes to her mouth, and she found she couldn’t resist taking a glimpse of his finely chiseled lips. She looked back up and into his eyes, then quickly turned away and concentrated on not stealing a glance at him again as he carried her up the rest of the stairs to her room. But she couldn’t ignore the rapid beat of her heart.
“My crutches are here. You can put me down now.” Rebecca sounded breathless to her own ears.
Ben kept his arm around her waist until she had her crutches under her arms and then he opened her door. “I hope cutting these down helps and you won’t be so sore tomorrow.”
“I can already tell it has. Thank you. Good night, Ben.” She allowed herself to glance at him and found him studying her as if he wanted to know what she was thinking. Well—she’d like to know the same about him. But she didn’t ask.
And neither did he. “Good night, Rebecca. Sleep well.”
She gave a brief nod and entered her room. Ben pulled the door shut behind her and Rebecca let out a pent-up breath. She’d enjoyed being in his arms way too much.
Her mother must be reading to Jenny, for she was nowhere around and Rebecca was relieved. She needed time alone to...stop thinking of what it might be like to be kissed by Ben.
Rebecca leaned against the door and willed herself to breathe slowly. There would be no kissing Benjamin Roth—no matter how much she’d wanted to in that brief moment. She forced thoughts of the handsome teacher out of her mind and hobbled across her room.
Dropping down on the settee, she began to unlace the boot on her good foot and silently prayed. Dear Lord, please help my ankle to strengthen so that I don’t have to put added work on Mama and so that Ben won’t have to keep carrying me up and down the stairs. Please keep me from reading too much into a glance. Just because I was thinking about kissing him doesn’t mean his thoughts are of the same kind. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
She’d barely finished praying when her mother came into her room. “Oh, good, you’re here, dear. I’ve just run your bath. I’ll help you get into it.”
Rebecca took a long soak while her mother went to ask Gretchen to make some hot chocolate—the kind with a hint of cinnamon that Rebecca had loved as a child. When she returned, she helped her out of the tub and into her nightclothes.
Rebecca used her crutches to get to bed, and her mother fluffed up the pillows so she could sit up. By then, Gretchen was there with their drinks. Between the bath and the chocolate, Rebecca finally began to relax. “Thank you for your help, Mama. With Jenny and me.”
“Oh, Rebecca. I love having you here to help. I know not being able to get around on your own bothers you but you’ll be out and about like normal soon.”
“I suppose I am a little too independent at times, but—”
“There’s no need to explain to me, dear. I understand why you are. But not all men are like Jenny’s father. Yours wasn’t, Michael isn’t, and one day you’ll find—”
“Mama, I don’t let myself think about that. What man would want a woman who...”
“The one who will love the wonderful woman you’ve become and accept you as you are.”
“I’m not sure that man exists.”
“Oh, Rebecca, dear. I’m sure—”
“No, Mama.” Rebecca sliced her hand through the air, much like her mother did when she wanted to hear no more. “I’ve come to accept that I’ll be raising Jenny alone. I can’t waste time dreaming about something that has little or no chance of happening.”
Her mother sighed, gathered up the cups and picked up the tray Gretchen had left. Then she kissed Rebecca on the cheek. “I hope you’ll change your mind one day, dear. Sleep well.”
“You too, Mama.” Rebecca watched her mother leave the room and then turned out her bedside light. In the quiet, she listened until she could hear Jenny’s breathing. She said her prayers, thanking the Lord for her many blessings and asking Him to keep her from dreaming impossible dreams—especially after the...moment...with Ben, and then the conversation with her mother. She couldn’t let herself begin to think all that was possible. Couldn’t take the chance, ever again.
But as she closed her eyes and began to drift off to sleep she couldn’t keep out the thought of how wonderful it had felt to be held in Ben’s arms for those brief moments. A lone tear escaped and slid down her cheek. Rebecca brushed at it impatiently and closed her mind to dreams that could never be.
* * *
The next day, after breakfast, Rebecca was more determined than ever to make it downstairs. One way or another.
She could put a little weight on her foot but not much. Still, when lunchtime came and her mother and Jenny brought up a tray, Rebecca announced that she was going to go downstairs that afternoon.
“Rebecca dear, it’s only going to be for a few more days. I should have come up and helped you get ready before Ben and Matt left so one of them could bring you down. Please don’t try this,” her mother said as Rebecca managed to get to the top of the stairs.
“I’m sure I can do it, Mama. You and Jenny take my crutches down and I’ll hold on to the railing and hop down. Please, let me try.”
“I don’t think I have any choice, do I?”
Rebecca grinned at her mother. “Not really.”
“Come on, Jenny. Maybe we can break her fall at the end of the stairs,” her mother said. “Please, be careful, Rebecca.”
“I will.”
She grabbed hold of the banister and, raising her bad foot, she step-hopped, from one step to another on the good one, stopping midway to catch her breath. It was more difficult than she’d thought it might be.
“Are you all right?” her mother asked.
“I am. I just need to rest a moment.”
“Mama, could you scoot on your bottom to get down?” Jenny ran up the stairs and sat down on the step beneath her and used her arms to help her move down to the next step. “Like this?”
“That might work.” Rebecca held on to the handrail and eased herself into a sitting position. Then she followed her daughter’s example and scooted to the bottom step, releasing a sigh at the end. “Thank you, Jenny!”
“You’re welcome, Mama.”
Rebecca gave Jenny a hug and then released a deep breath. Grinning, she took the crutches her mother handed her.
“You did it, dear!”
“You can go up the same way, Mama,” Jenny said.
“And I suppose you know this, because?”
Her daughter smiled that sweet smile of hers. “
I do it sometimes.”
“Uh-huh. I thought that might be the case. Want to go play while I practice my typing?”
Jenny nodded. “But can I help Granma and Gretchen later? She said I could, if it is all right with you.”
Rebecca looked at her mother. “Is it all right? Gretchen really doesn’t mind?”
“Gretchen is loving it. And so am I. Jenny is going to be a fine cook one of these days.”
“Well, then, you may help in the kitchen when they begin preparations. But mind your manners.”
“I will, Mama.”
“If you have time later, and feel up to it, I’d like you to take a look at the books, Rebecca,” her mother said. “Get an idea how Michael and I’ve been doing them, and see if it makes any sense to you.”
“I’d love to. Why don’t I practice awhile, and then when Jenny goes to help in the kitchen, I’ll go to your study?”
“That sounds like a good idea. I’m going up to take stock of the linens. I think we’ll need to buy more before we get new boarders. Remember the workers will be pounding away upstairs tomorrow.”
“Another reason for me to make it down the stairs.”
Her mother chuckled and shook her head. “I suppose I can’t argue with you there.”
Rebecca hugged her and hobbled down the hall to the small parlor. Jenny was already there playing with the doll she’d received for Christmas. Rebecca was quite happy she’d made it downstairs under on her own steam. And it felt good to be typing again, although she felt she’d lost some speed and promptly went about building it back up. She was just finishing when Gretchen appeared at the door.
“Are you ready to come help, Miss Jenny?” Gretchen asked.
“Yes. May I go now, Mama?” She looked at Rebecca for permission to leave, and at her nod she quickly put her doll up and skipped out of the room.
Rebecca neatened up her workspace and grabbed her crutches. They were much easier to use since Ben cut them down, but still, she’d be so relieved to be rid of them. She hobbled out of the room and heard familiar voices in the hall.
“Rebecca is going to be so glad to see the two of you. Let me go tell her you’re here,” she heard her mother say.
“No need, Mama,” Rebecca called out. “I’m on my way.” She hurried her gait as best she could to find both Kathleen and Elizabeth in the foyer.
“We just had to come see how you are doing,” Kathleen said.
“Oh, how sweet of you. I’ve been missing the two of you!” Rebecca said. “I’m better than I was on Sunday. But impatient to be able to get rid of these crutches.”
“I can certainly understand how you would be,” Elizabeth said.
“Why don’t the three of you go to the parlor and I’ll make us some tea?” Rebecca’s mother suggested.
“That sounds wonderful, Mrs. Heaton,” Kathleen said. “And that way Rebecca can get that foot up for a while.”
Rebecca made her way into the parlor and over to the nearest sofa, then she sank down with a sigh. Kathleen sat at the other end, but Elizabeth stood in the doorway.
“Not easy to use, are they?” Elizabeth asked. “I broke my foot when I was young and I so hated not being able to do things as normal. Kathleen and I have been thinking about how hard that would be on you and... We hope you don’t mind, but we brought you a gift.”
“A present? Whatever for?” Rebecca said.
“For having to endure those awful crutches,” Kathleen said.
Elizabeth hurried back to the foyer and returned with an oddly wrapped package, which she handed to Rebecca. “We thought you might need this once you’re able to put a little more weight on your foot.”
“What is it?”
“Open it and see,” Elizabeth said.
Rebecca tore the paper off to find a beautiful cane, with a white porcelain handle, decorated with pink flowers. “Oh, it’s lovely, but you shouldn’t have.”
Elizabeth placed a hand on each hip. “And why not? John and I want you at our housewarming on Friday and I’m hoping you won’t need to use those old crutches. But one way or another—even if you have to be carried—we want you there. And besides, a cane is always in fashion.”
“That’s true and this one is beautiful. Thank you both so much. I love it and can’t wait to try it out. And I will be at your housewarming, Elizabeth—one way or another.”
But she sent up a prayer that she could use that cane by Friday. As it was, she was already wondering if she’d make it up the stairs by herself that evening. And if she couldn’t make it up the stairs, Ben would have to carry her...and she’d be thinking of kissing him all over again. As she was doing now. Her pulse raced at the very thought.
Chapter Twelve
Dinner that evening was quite lively as Jenny told everyone how she taught her mother to scoot down the stairs.
“Only a child would come up with that idea. I’m glad it worked for you, Rebecca,” Julia said.
“I’m relieved you weren’t hurt. I’ll be glad to bring you down before I go to work tomorrow,” Ben said. “I don’t have an early class.”
“Oh, Ben, I’d be so grateful if you can manage that,” Rebecca’s mother said. “I know it wasn’t as easy as it sounds for Rebecca. And it was very hard to watch.”
“I was fine, Mama.”
“I know. But...”
“I’ll bring you down when you’re ready in the morning,” Ben said as if that was all there was to it.
And Rebecca didn’t know what to say. She felt frustrated and relieved all at the same time.
Ben left right after dinner, and Rebecca joined the others in the parlor because Jenny wanted to play charades with them. She was very good at it and everyone wanted her on their team.
But once her mother went to bathe Jenny and put her to bed, Rebecca hobbled back to the small parlor and, true to his word, Ben had left the class lesson with a note that he’d check it when he got home.
Rebecca sat down at the round table to work out the math problems and looked at the clock. She should have headed to the small parlor a bit earlier so she’d have time to scoot up the stairs before Ben got back and while her mother was occupied with Jenny.
Of course, she couldn’t do that. It would appear as if she were avoiding having Ben help her—which was exactly the reason she’d be doing it. She was sure he was helping out of the kindness of his heart and she didn’t want to hurt him.
She kept telling herself she should dread the fact that Ben would have to carry her upstairs once more. But her heart beat faster just thinking about being in his arms again.
She gave herself a shake and went to work. After half an hour or so, she’d finished and felt confident she’d get a good grade. She left the paper out and made her way down the hall to her mother’s study. The ledger was on her desk and Rebecca sat down to look it over.
The bookkeeping system seemed simple and straightforward and was easy to understand. She could see right away that while her mother did make some money with Heaton House, she watched her pennies quite well. She seemed to be able to run Heaton House without getting into her own savings and after going shopping with her, Rebecca realized it was because she was an excellent businesswoman. She hoped to learn more from her.
“Rebecca dear, you don’t have to do that now,” her mother said as she came into the room. “My goodness, you’ve had a long day today. Why don’t you sit in one of the easy chairs and I’ll go fetch us a cup of tea. Ben should be home anytime now and he can take you upstairs. I suppose we could ask Matt, but—”
“Oh, no. I don’t think Millicent would like that, Mama.” And well, if she had to be carried up, it might as well be by someone she was used to.
“Oh, I’m sure she’d understand.”
“Perhaps, but I’ll take you up o
n the offer of tea and we can visit awhile.”
“Good. I’ll be right back.”
Her mother left the room and Rebecca got up from behind the desk and made it over to the nearest chair flanking the fireplace. She put her foot up on the footstool, leaned back and closed her eyes.
But not for long. She heard the front door close and was sure it must be Ben coming home. Then solid footsteps sounded in the hall and her pulse began to ripple through her veins. She sighed and shook her head. This had to stop.
She heard him pass the study but, instead of calling him, she closed her eyes again and tried to will her pulse to slow down—all to no avail as she heard his footsteps coming back. “Rebecca? Did I wake you?”
She opened her eyes to see him enter the room, his expression filled with concern.
“No. I—”
“I thought you’d be in the little parlor.”
“After I finished in there, I came in to have a look at Mama’s books. I’d been going to earlier in the day, but never got to it. You can check my work, if you’d like. It’s on the table, but I’ll stay here if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all. You look tired. Do you want me to carry you up now?”
Her heart slammed against her chest. Oh yes, she did. “No, I’m fine. Mama is bringing tea.”
He nodded. “I’ll go check out your math and be right back.”
“Okay.” Maybe she’d have time to quit reacting like a love-struck adolescent. Frustrated with herself, Rebecca sent up a silent prayer. Dear Lord, please let me get over this attraction, or whatever it is I feel for Ben. Please.
He’d only been gone a few minutes before her mother returned with a tray. “Did I hear Ben?”
“Yes, he’s checking my work. He’ll be back.”
“Good. I brought an extra cup just in case.” She poured Rebecca and herself a cup and they’d barely taken a sip when Ben entered the room once more.
His smile took in both of them before his gaze came to rest on Rebecca. “You only missed one problem, Rebecca. I worked it out for you so you could see where you made the mistake, but you can look at it tomorrow.”
A Daughter's Return Page 12