BlackJack (A Standish Bay Romance Book 1)

by Donovan, Christine

  Amber hugged her knees up to her chest as she fought the shivers raking her body. She had been a fool once like one of those clingy desperate girls, but never again. She’d embarrass herself once, but not twice.

  “Hey,” she said as she climbed off the bed. “I’m taking a shower.”

  ***

  Cole stopped off at AJ’s room before he left for his interview with Marlene Simpson. Nothing had changed. He still wouldn’t let him in, nor come out. Once again he told him he’d see him at the concert.

  As Cole walked down the deserted hallway, he contemplated what was happening. Bloody hell, had the world suddenly gone nuts? Never would he ever have thought AJ, always Mr. Reliable, would go off the deep end about anything. Somehow he had to get him to talk, but right now he had to deal with the pain churning inside his stomach. He didn’t have butterflies—he had an ancient family of Pterodactyls taking flight, causing constant pain with their expansive wingspan. Weren’t they extinct?

  He’d be damn glad when this interview stood behind him. He must have been out of his mind to have agreed to it in the first place. As much as he wanted to, he wouldn’t go back on his word. Hell, it was probably high time the world met the real him, not some tabloid fabrication created to sell magazines regardless of the fact most of what was printed about him was false and created from imaginative writers’ minds.

  Marlene had wanted to send a car for him, but he’d refused, the studio was seven blocks away and he could use the exercise and fresh, crisp Chicago air. The wind blew relentlessly, whipping off Lake Michigan, as he made his way down Michigan Shore Drive, causing him to pull up his leather jacket collar, lower his baseball cap on his head and stuff his hands into his pockets. There was a strong nip to this October air. And damn, he mused, it felt good and invigorating. The thought of seeing Shannon had his spirits way up, and he suddenly felt charged and less nervous the closer he got to the television studio, which somehow seemed strange, considering what he’d felt like earlier. Considering what was happening with AJ and Cameron.

  After giving his name to the young, pretty receptionist at the front desk, he stood looking out the window and watched all the people traffic walking by. It resembled a kaleidoscope of people from all walks of life. It made him smile as he thought about how incredible this country was. The same people and same country that convicted him, and still he was glad to have been born here, to be part of this free country where opportunity knew no bounds.

  “Cole, sorry to keep you waiting,” a female voice said.

  Cole didn’t need to turn around to know Marlene came down personally to meet him. She had a distinct voice, and voices were a thing of his. He may forget a name, but never a voice. As he spun around to face her, he replied, “You didn’t keep me waiting. I just arrived.”

  She smiled at him and hooked her arm through his. “Good. Let’s go to the recording studio. The cameras are ready to roll.” She looked at him and her voice softened. “Are you still okay with this?”

  She surprised him with her question. He figured she couldn’t wait to shoot off her list of questions, and his respect for her rose another notch.

  “Yeah, I’m okay. But don’t forget I want to see the questions first.”

  Marlene laughed and patted his arm. “I knew you wouldn’t forget. And by all means read them and give me your input. Now I need to ask the question I asked Shannon Gallagher. Is the topic of you two off limits?”

  Cole chuckled and his eyes gleamed. “Yeah, it’s off limits.”

  Marlene laughed again. “I figured as much.”

  They were now in the studio. Cole saw no audience, just three camera operators and two chairs with a small table between them. On the table rested a pitcher of water and two glasses. Marlene gestured toward the sitting area. “Is this satisfactory?”

  “It’s fine.”

  “Then should we begin?”

  “Yes.” Cole waited for Marlene to indicate which chair was his before he sat down. He removed his hat, but kept his jacket on. A young woman came up to them, she fussed with Marlene’s hair and makeup, then turned to him, holding some face powder.

  “Do you mind?”

  “No.”

  She powdered his face, smoothed back his hair, then she left them without another word. Cole liked people who respected other people’s privacy. He turned his attention back to Marlene and held out his hand, palm up. “List.”

  “You don’t forget a thing do you?” Marlene said, her voice laced with humor as she placed a note pad in his large hand.

  “Not usually,” Cole replied as he scanned the questions. Not one pertained to Lindsey’s death just like they’d agreed. He handed the pad back. “It’s fine.”

  “Good. Are you ready?”

  His stomach took a dive. “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  Marlene signaled her producer and the camera’s began rolling. As the interview progressed, Cole relaxed more and more and as she said, it was an informal conversation, more like two friends talking versus interviewer and interviewee.

  And by the time the interview ended, Cole felt as though an encumbered burden had lifted off his chest and he was breathing easier. He had no idea what the public would think of anything he said, but he was beginning to think he didn’t care one way or another. And he wouldn’t have long to wait as Marlene planned to air the interview tomorrow morning in her usual time slot.

  Cole walked back to his hotel and went directly to his room to mentally prepare for the night’s concert. The band’s business manager, who’d been with the band from the beginning, sounded none too happy about postponing two concert dates in Detroit, but Cole knew he’d get over it. And hopefully so would their fans. He had a flight out tomorrow at one in the afternoon. An earlier flight would have been better, but there wasn’t anything available. Now, with the later flight, he could spend time with AJ. His behavior at the concert last night was frightening, to say the least, and he figured tonight to be no less.

  He’d been right. That night’s concert, AJ cloned his previous night’s behavior and Cole became even more worried. He tossed and turned most of the night, flashing from Shannon, to Cameron, to AJ. It was a long depressing night to say the least.

  ***

  AJ sat on the bed in his hotel room looking un-kept and exhausted. If one looked closely into his eyes, they would see eyes glazed and void of life. They would see no emotion whatsoever. He may look like a man void of any emotion, but his brain was quite active, thinking about money, fame, his terrific family, wonderful friends and one best friend—Cole.

  And there lay the problem. Now that AJ finally opened his mind to the truth about Lindsey’s death, he couldn’t look Cole in the eye. He couldn’t continue to work with him and he most definitely couldn’t continue to let him take the blame for something he did. Cole had already paid dearly, and he deserved more out of life. He also deserved to know the truth about that night.

  Earlier in the day, he’d purchased a small camera and tripod. He focused it on the bed and hit record.

  “‘T’is AJ Macleod and ah have something tae say. An injustice has been done tae Cole Jackson, and ah have tae right the wrong.” He closed his eyes briefly then cleared his throat. “Ah’m sorry Cole. Ah’m so sorry.” He paused to wipe his eyes. “Ah dinnae ken what happened or why it happened. Ah only ken ah did it. Ah killed Lindsey. Ah blocked it out for years, convincing myself someone else committed the murder because ah could never have done that tae her. But the truth is, ah did do that tae her and not only did ah take her life, ah took yours away as well. You will never ken how sorry ah am.

  “Ah dinnae expect ye to forgive me and ah’m not asking for it, but would ye please look after Elizabeth and my children. They should not be blamed for my sins. This has nothing tae do with them.” He didn’t bother wiping the tears away anymore. He let them flow freely. “All ah can say is ah’m sorry. Ah wish ye well, and ah hope ye find your happiness and all your heart’s desire with Shannon. Love is
precious and it’s a strong precious love that binds ye two together. Don’t waste a single day of it.

  “Tae my beautiful wife, ah’m sorry for what all this will do tae ye and our children. Ah love all of ye with my entire heart, and that’s why what ah’m about tae do is hurting me so. But it must be done.”

  AJ struggled to open the bottle of sleeping pills. When he did, he said a silent prayer and swallowed the entire contents. He was not taking any chances. He did not want to wake up, ever.

  As he began feeling sleepy, he curled up on the bed in a fetal position and his last thought before his world ended centered on how he forgot to stop the camera from recording.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Cole snapped awake the next morning to pounding on the door and a woman’s voice with a strong Brazilian accent calling out, “Mr. Jackson, Mr. Jackson, please open the door.”

  Having no idea what the fuss was about, he quickly pulled on his jeans and T-shirt from yesterday, combed his hands through his hair and opened the door to a frantic looking young maid. She grabbed his arm with surprising strength and pulled him forward. “Please come quick. Mr. Macleod. Something is wrong, he no wake up.”

  In that instant Cole realized the popular saying, “my heart stopped” was not just an expression after all. Pulling away from the maid he ran like hell down the hall to AJ’s room. The door stood ajar and several hotel security guards graced the inside. Cole crossed the threshold, his hand on his pounding heart as he scanned the room, his eyes coming to rest on the figure on the bed. Oh God. He didn’t have to get closer to know AJ was dead. Cole could smell death. The strong pungent smell of body fluids and waste hung in the air. He swallowed the bile trying to force its way up his throat while he stood there mesmerized by AJ’s dead body. Death was not a pretty sight, nor was there any pride.

  Cole suddenly felt old, tired and numb. AJ—his best friend—dead. It didn’t seem possible. How? Why?

  “Excuse me, everybody out,” bellowed a plain clothes detective as he came into the room with two uniform officers and a man carrying a medical examiners bag.

  Cole left the room on legs so unsteady they could have belonged to a ten-month-old baby wobbling along, taking his first steps. When he reached the hallway, he collapsed to the ground and sat stunned as silent tears streamed down his face. He waited and waited as people in law enforcement came and went. He stared at a dark spot on the wall for what seemed like eternity. After a time the detective he saw earlier approached him.

  “Mr. Jackson?”

  Cole climbed to his feet but leaned heavily against the wall for support. He didn’t trust his legs just yet.

  “Yes.”

  “Mr. Jackson, I’m Detective Silver. I’m sorry, but Mr. Macleod is dead,” the detective said flatly.

  “I know.”

  “Would you mind notifying his family? I think it would be better coming from someone close to them.”

  Jesus, Cole closed his eyes and hoped to God when he opened them he would be lying in bed, and this would all be a dream. There was no way AJ was dead. But when he slowly opened his eyes nothing had changed. The harsh looking detective still stood there waiting for an answer to his question, and AJ was still dead. Cole cleared his throat, coughed and finally answered the detective. “Yes. How... how did he die?”

  “It’s too soon to tell. Once an autopsy’s done we’ll know for certain. But it appears to be a suicide by sleeping pills.”

  Oh God, his knees buckled and he crumpled back to the ground. He was unable to breathe as claws gripped his lungs and his heart pounded toward fatal speed. Burying his face in his hands, he fought the sobs bubbling up and fighting their way out.

  “Was… was there a note?” He forced the words out, and after he said them he thought what a stupid question. But then again, most suicide victims left notes.

  “No. However he recorded a video.”

  Cole’s head snapped up. “Excuse me?”

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought. I just watched it. And there’s something you should know. It pertains directly to you.”

  Cole managed to grope the wall with his hands as he stood up, locking his knees in hopes they wouldn’t give way again. “How so,” he asked, trying not to picture AJ swallowing pills and lying dead in bed in his own body waste not thirty feet from him. Guilt pounded him like a runaway freight train. He knew something was bothering AJ and he had tried to talk to him, but shit, obviously not hard enough.

  “I shouldn’t tell you this, but before there’s media frenzy, which I’m certain there will be, I think you should know it was a confession and an apology.”

  Cole took a steady breath, not knowing if he wanted to hear this. “I don’t understand.”

  The detective looked right at him, sympathy radiating from the same eyes that appeared hard earlier. “Macleod confessed to killing your wife.”

  Cole closed his eyes and leaned even harder against the wall. His whole body convulsed and his heart pounded so loudly it caused severe pain inside his head. He was convinced if he moved even an inch his head would explode. What nightmare had he woken up in? This couldn’t be right? Couldn’t be real?

  “AJ loved Lindsey. I don’t understand,” he choked out, feeling confused and sad and hurt. If it’s true, his best friend killed his wife and let him take the blame. Let him go to jail. He didn’t want it to be true, and he wouldn’t believe it until he saw AJ’s confession himself. And even then, he didn’t know if he’d believe it. Not in AJ’s nature.

  “Can I see the video?”

  “Yes. You’ll have to come down to the station house. I’m almost done here. I’ll drive you.”

  “Th...Thanks,” Cole mumbled.

  Several minutes later the detective came out of AJ’s room with a small blue camera in a plastic bad. Cole followed him in a mind numbing haze.

  “Mr. Jackson, why don’t we stop by your room so you can get your shoes?”

  Cole glanced down at his bare feet. Christ, he would have walked out of the hotel barefoot and being as numb as he was, he never would have noticed.

  The ride to the station house took less than ten minutes. It was the longest ten minutes of Cole’s life. He stared, unseeing out the car window, everything blurring together as if a painter regretted his painting or possibly hated it and took his brush, swirling it across the canvas, washing all the colors and images together. Nothing was in focus. Cole couldn’t concentrate, or was it his brain protecting him from the devastating reality around him?

  When they arrived at the station, he stumbled out of the car and blindly followed Detective Silver into the station house to a small room with a laptop, a gray metal table and two metal chairs, totally unaware of the stares and hushed talk going on around him.

  The Detective plugged in the camera, turned the computer screen toward him and left the room to give him privacy. Cole watched as AJ’s face appeared larger than life on the screen. His breathing became choppier and choppier as he fought not to sob, but in the end, it was no use. He buried his head in his hands, and as his whole body shook, he cried out in anguish. “Damn you, AJ. I would have forgiven you. You didn’t have to take your life. I loved you man.” Then the rage boiled up and exploded. Cole began throwing and pounding everything in sight until Detective Silver came back in with several officers to restrain him. Cole could do nothing, think about nothing as numbness took over and he buried his head once again in his hands.

  ***

  “Shannon,” Mitch yelled up the stairs, “come quick. Cole’s on the Marlene Simpson Show.”

  “What,” she yelled as she descended the stairs in a hurry, her feet barely touching the steps as her fingers fumbled with the buttons of her blouse. “Did I hear you right?”

  She slid onto the couch, eyes glued to the television. Sure enough it was Cole. Her heart jumped at the sight of him. He was so gorgeous her breath escaped her lungs in one quick swoop. How could she have forgotten the effect he had on her? She clasped her shaky hands t
ogether and lost herself in the show, her attention never wavering until a commercial. Then she looked at Mitch, pride as well as tears in her eyes.

  “I can’t believe he gave an interview. He never said anything when I spoke with him.” She sucked in air as the commercial ended and Cole’s face took over the screen again. She had heard most of what he and Marlene discussed before from Cole, yet she was still moved greatly by what he’d gone through. And horrified about how cruelly some people treated him. And she couldn’t believe he broke his silence about Lindsey’s death. Incredible as it seemed, he was the one to bring it up.

  By the time the interview ended, she could barely breathe her emotions were running so high, never mind her feelings of love for him. She kept reminding herself that he would be here today. Tonight they could hold each other and make love and finally look to the future together.

  Just as Mitch was about to hit the off button, a live broadcast from a local Boston station broke in. Shannon and Mitch sat stunned as they listened to the reporter tell the news of AJ Macleod’s death by suicide. The woman reporter read from AJ’s quote as the words appeared on the screen. Everything AJ said in his suicide video was broadcast for the whole world to hear and read.

  Shannon sat motionlessly, shocked by it. Mitch sat beside her and pulled her into his arms for comfort and silent support.

  Oh my God! What was Cole going through? Where was he? The reporter said Cole knew about AJ’s death, and he’d been allowed to watch the video. He also had been in AJ’s hotel room and identified the body. Shannon clutched her heart as pain pierced through it. Cole must be brokenhearted to find out it was his best friend who had murdered his wife. Would life ever stop throwing curves in the path of his happiness? Yes, the world would finally know he was innocent, but still the cost to him was high.

  Shannon knew he would still take the blame on himself for Lindsey’s death anyway. And he would definitely feel responsible for AJ’s death as well. A thought suddenly occurred to her. Was he still on his way? She doubted it. He now had AJ’s death to deal with, and Cole would make all the necessary arrangements. He would not leave his best friend and bandmate in death regardless of the horrendous circumstances, regardless of the betrayal, the deceit and the open lies. Even with the years stolen from him, he would honor his friend in death.