11
The honeymoon drive
Back in Mrityulok, Sameer and Payal were enjoying the drive on the newly constructed Mumbai to Goa National Highway 17. It took them barely five hours to reach Ratnagiri, a port city on Arabian Sea, while covering over 320 km.
Sameer was at the wheels of his BMW 3 series convertible whereas Payal was sitting in the navigation seat with her head on Sameer’s shoulder. Payal pressed the button of the car music system and the most soothing romantic Hindi song ‘ Do Lafzo Kee Hai Dil Kee Kahani’ from ‘The Great Gambler’ started playing. The cool coastal breeze made the atmosphere even more romantic.
Both Sameer and Payal were thoroughly immersed in the song when Sameer’s mobile phone started ringing. He picked up the phone quite reluctantly.
‘What’s up dude?’ Jimmy spoke from the other side.
‘Doing great, just reached Ratnagiri.’
‘Quite a start but will you be able to control your urge before reaching Goa or planning to stop somewhere in between?’
‘Apne jaisa samjh rakha hai kya?’
‘Buddy, I can start anywhere if I have a sexy wife like Payal,’ Jimmy started laughing as soon as he finished talking.
Payal chose that very moment to start running her hands all over Sameer’s body. Sameer started getting excited and made some strange noises. Jimmy could easily hear Sameer’s noises over the phone.
‘Hahahaha, I am not like you! I told you all men are the same,’ Jimmy poked fun at Sameer.
‘Chal phone rakh,’ Sameer tried to cover his embarrassment but Jimmy started laughing again.
Sameer disconnected the phone and looked at Payal who was still busy exploring his body.
‘Wait, we might meet with an accident.’
‘Who cares?’
She continued to move her hands up his thighs.
‘Wait wait, we are reaching Goa soon!’
‘Who wants to wait for soon?’ fearless Payal continued.
She now started kissing him all over. Sameer tried to stop her but she was unstoppable. After a few futile attempt of stopping her, Sameer gave up. He took the car a little away from the highway, got the hood up and drove up to a secluded beach.
As soon as he stopped the car, they started kissing each other passionately. Both got extremely excited but before they could proceed further they heard rude knocks on the car window. Sameer looked up and was shocked to see a policeman ogling at them.
‘Jamaila, kya chalu hai idhar?’ a heavy Marathi-accented voice pierced through his ears.
Sameer was stunned to hear the heavy tone.
‘Roll down the window glass,’ the heavy voice continued.
Sameer did as told and the policeman put his neck through the door unceremoniously.
‘So these days you people have found this place, haan?’
‘What?’
‘Ae what what, chal bahar nikal,’ angered, the policeman raised his voice.
‘It’s not what you are thinking?’ Sameer tried to reason with him.
‘I very well know what’s happening. Just come out!’ the policeman snapped his fingers impatiently.
Sameer came out of the car and got even more scared to see the size of the policeman. He was more than 6 feet tall and his chest would have certainly measured 45 inches at the very least.
‘I had heard of this kind of shady business being carried out near the highway but never thought it could happen right under my very nose!’
‘No sir, you are getting it all wrong,’ Sameer replied, regaining his composure.
‘So now you are going to teach me what’s right and what’s wrong?’
‘Sir, sir, I think there is some misunderstanding.’
‘I can understand uneducated people doing this but people like you??’
The policeman shook his head in disbelief.
‘Lagta hai maa baap ne kaan ke neeche bajaye nahin shayad bachpan mein,’ he continued his tirade.
‘Sir, we are husband and wife.’
‘That’s what everyone says when they get caught.’
‘Sir, we just got married yesterday!’
The policeman started laughing.
‘Shukar hai yeh nahin kaha kee abhi abhi car mein shaadi kee hai!’
‘I am telling the truth sir, we are going on our honeymoon to Goa.’
‘But you decided to start here, right? Don’t even try to fool me. You know who I am? I am sub-inspector Shikre! Who? Shikre.’
The policeman seemed pretty adept at blowing his own trumpet.
‘Sir, please let us go; I am telling the truth that we are married.’
‘That’s why you decided to do this in a public place?’
Sameer knew it was getting tough to deal with the man so he decided to go with the world famous Indian Jugaad. He took out a bunch of thousand rupee notes from his pocket and placed it on the policeman’s right palm.
‘Rishwat, Shikre ko rishwat……chal thane!’
Sameer was not sure what exactly hit the policeman, as the famous Indian Jugaad had never failed before.
The policeman wrapped his right arm around Sameer’s neck and Sameer struggled like a child to release himself from his clutches. Payal got extremely worried, so she immediately came out of the car and tried unsuccessfully to untangle Sameer from his grip.
‘Sir, I made a mistake. I didn’t know you are an honest policeman,’ Sameer could barely speak with policeman’s arms around his neck.
‘You mean we are all corrupt?’
‘That’s not what he meant!’ Payal intervened.
‘I am sorry sir, it won’t happen again,’ Sameer continued to struggle.
‘It will only happen again if I let it happen.’
The policeman started dragging Sameer towards his jeep. Unable to do anything to save Sameer from the policeman’s clutches, Payal bit his hand with her teeth, which loosened his grip over Sameer. Sameer pushed him and ran towards the car. Payal followed him. The policeman tried to follow them but his huge structure proved to be the biggest impediment. With no choice left he took out his gun.
‘Stop or I’ll shoot!’ he fired a bullet in the air.
Sameer and Payal had already opened the car door. But they got scared and stopped after hearing the gunshot. Without wasting any more time the policeman took out his wireless set and asked for backup.
‘You will go inside for few years for assaulting a police officer on duty,’ he grunted sternly and walked slowly towards them while keeping his gun pointed.
Sameer wanted to speak but couldn’t as he was too scared to see the anger in the policeman’s eyes. After a few minutes, a police jeep carrying two male and one female constable arrived on the scene.
‘Shikre pe haath uthaya! You will pay for it tonight in the lock-up.’
The policeman threw both of them into the police jeep and sped off to the police station.
At the police station, Sameer and Payal were kept in different lock-ups. Sameer kept pleading to allow him to make a phone call but no one budged. As soon as Shikre left for some work, one of the policemen agreed to help him only after the world famous Indian Jugaad. Sameer made a few quick phone calls.
After an hour, Shikre came back wearing his heavy black boots for the special treatment, looked at Sameer with vengeance and moved very slowly towards him, just like a villain moves when he is about to give royal treatment to the hero.
Shikre’s gait sent shivers down the spine of several others in the lock-up who had seen his special treatment. Shikre opened the door of the lock-up and pulled Sameer up by the collar. Sameer tried to resist but he was no match for the mighty Shikre.
Fearing the worst, few policemen ran towards the lock-up to save Sameer from Shikre. Shikre was surprised at this unexpected turn of events. During the scuffle with his colleagues, a few thousand rupee notes fell to ground from one of his colleague’s pocket. Shikre immediately understood that Sameer had bribed them.
‘So you are behind this disobe
dience, haan?’ Shikre thundered at Sameer.
Shikre threw Sameer to the floor and was about to hit him with his special boots when the police station phone rang. A constable picked up the phone and realised it was the Senior Inspector on the other side of the line. The Senior Inspector ordered Shikre not to touch Sameer and let him go as soon as someone came to post his bail. Shikre had no option but to obey. He banged the receiver down in anger and left the police station.
Sameer was completely shaken up and kept praying to God the whole night that Shikre should not come back to take revenge. God was kind and the night passed uneventfully.
Next morning Jimmy came to the police station along with a few of his colleagues. They brought along the wedding pictures and other details to prove that Sameer and Payal were married. The Inspector on duty looked at the pictures and was convinced with the evidence.
‘Sir, I am ready to post bail for Sameer and Payal,’ Jimmy said.
‘I wish I could let them go without bail but can’t as my hands are also tied to the law of the land.’
‘I can understand sir.’
Jimmy finished some formalities for their bails.
‘Ae Pande, get them out of the lock-up,’ the Inspector instructed his junior.
Sameer and Payal were brought out of their respective lockups. Sameer was relieved to see his colleagues and almost ran to hug them.
‘Thanks boss, you called the Senior Inspector on time otherwise I would have been in hospital by now,’ Sameer almost cried to Jimmy.
‘Please sign your bail documents,’ the Inspector told Sameer.
Sameer and Payal both signed the required documents for their bails.
‘You should be ashamed of yourself. Goa was only few hours away but you couldn’t control your urge. Do you even realise that because of you she also had to spend a night in jail?’ the Inspector admonished Sameer.
Sameer didn’t know how to react to it whereas Payal was smiling slyly. Only she knew that she was the one who had wanted to make out in the car.
All of Sameer’s friends started laughing as soon as they stepped out of the police station and they continued to laugh till they reached their cars, which were parked good 200 metres away from the police station. Sameer resisted for quite some time but finally ended up losing his control.
‘Aise kutton kee tarah kyon has rahe ho?’
‘I told you all men are the same and more so when they have a beautiful wife like Payal,’ Jimmy once again poked Sameer.
‘I told you earlier and I’m repeating it again, I am not like you guys,’ Sameer emphasised every word.
‘So you mean to say, it was Payal’s idea to start in the car, right?’ Jimmy inquired and everyone around him started laughing.
Sameer was unable to answer whereas Payal just kept smiling.
‘I know she is extremely sexy but Goa was just a few hours away,’ a woman colleague also joined in the bandwagon proving the age-old idiom ‘Behti Ganga Mein Haath Dhona’.
‘Enough is enough, thanks for bailing me out. Just go back to Mumbai and remember this can’t go beyond you guys,’ Sameer reminded them that he was still their boss.
‘Don’t worry, we will take it to our graves,’ another colleague assured with mock solemnity.
‘But should we not come to Goa with you?’ Jimmy spoke with a serious face.
‘Kiss khushi mein?’
‘Just thinking, Goa is still a few hours away and you might need us at the next police station.’
Jimmy ran after speaking and Sameer followed him, ready to tear him to bits. Everyone (including Payal) was laughing at the classic Tom and Jerry chase. After five minutes of the chase, Jimmy was finally caught.
‘Okay okay, I give up,’ Jimmy raised his hands and promised not to tease him any further.
After sometime, all of them left for their respective destinations.
Sameer wasn’t happy about the whole incident whereas Payal was taking it lightly and laughing at what they’d had to go through in one night. Sameer didn’t like Payal’s take on the whole situation.
‘You too were laughing with them and what’s more you are still laughing!’
‘Sorry but I couldn’t control myself.’
‘It was all because of you!’
‘Then why didn’t you tell them?’
‘What? That my wife wanted to have…’
Sameer looked at Payal who started laughing again. He couldn’t control himself either and joined her.
They continued to drive till they reached their destination, a 5 star resort located on the Southwest Coast of Goa overlooking the Arabian Sea. It was one of the best hotels in Goa, which was built amidst seventy-five acres of lush green gardens. The place had a unique way of slowing down time to a tranquil tempo.
The gatekeeper rushed towards them and opened the door of their car. Payal and Sameer stepped out of the car. Sameer fished out an envelope from his pocket and very subtly handed it to the gatekeeper, a well-prepared tip for his services to get their luggage from the car to the reception. Sameer handed over the car keys to the valet and both of them went inside the hotel.
The hotel had an awesome lobby decorated royally with many expensive paintings. Exquisitely designed furniture and the Italian marble flooring added extra touch to the royal look. There was a fountain right in the middle of the lobby and it created many different images, which were further enhanced by the special lighting designed especially for that image. The most noted image among those images was that of the Heart, Arrow and Cupid.
After walking past the fountain they reached the reception desk.
‘Welcome sir, welcome ma’am,’ the receptionist greeted.
Sameer nodded, saying ‘We have a booking.’
‘Sure sir, by what name?’
‘Mrs and Mr Sameer Kapoor,’ Payal took over, as Sameer got busy with the luggage brought in by the gatekeeper.
The receptionist looked through the computer and got busy with the data entry into the card key of their king size suite.
‘Madam, here is the key to your honeymoon suite, have a great time,’ the receptionist smiled as she handed over the card key to Payal.
‘Thanks! Is our honeymoon bed ready? I had especially asked for it,’ Payal enquired innocently.
Payal’s innocence brought cute smiles to the faces of employees manning the reception area. They looked at each other, smiled again and then looked at Sameer and Payal. Sameer was feeling a little embarrassed to see the reaction of the employees.
‘I will just check ma’am.’
The receptionist dialled a number and waited for the other person to respond. In the meantime, an embarrassed Sameer spoke to Payal in a low tone.
‘Let’s go.’
‘Hang on; let me make sure that at least the bed is ready.’
Sameer looked around and found all eyes plastered on them. He shook his head in embarrassment. There was an eerie silence in the atmosphere, which was broken by the voice of the receptionist.
‘Yes ma’am, everything is ready as ordered by you.’
‘Thanks a bunch, just another request.’
‘Yes ma’am?’
‘Please make sure that no one should disturb us till the time we call for something.’
‘Sure ma’am, I’ll make a note of it.’
Both left for their honeymoon suite with a porter carrying their luggage. After walking a few steps, Sameer turned back and realized everyone was still staring at them. He once again shook his head in disbelief but continued to walk.
As they reached the lift area they realised one of the lifts was being repaired. Sameer wanted to make sure that their luggage comes with them so he asked the porter to join them in their lift. The porter’s eyes said it all; he would kill to be around Payal a little longer.
In the lift, Payal put her hands around Sameer’s waist. Though he enjoyed it, he a felt little uncomfortable in the presence of the porter. He resisted her gently and looked at the porter who
was ogling shamelessly.
‘Sir, you are extremely lucky,’ the porter finally said.
Payal started laughing whereas Sameer got angry with the porter.
‘Why don’t you just do your work?’
The porter got a little scared and immediately pressed a button on the panel in the lift. After a couple of minutes they alighted on the 5th floor.
The passage was 10 feet wide and decorated with lots of love paintings from different parts of the world. The theme of this floor was love and especially designed for honeymoon couples. Payal was quite happy to see all the paintings whereas Sameer had his eyes on the porter.
The porter guided them to room number 502, opened the door and took the luggage inside.
Payal handed over a ? 1000 note to the porter rather brazenly. Sameer felt she should have been a little more polished and discreet about the tipping; rather she should have let him handle it.
‘Till we call for something no one should disturb us. Okay?’
‘Okay ma’am.’
‘Also please remind the reception.’
‘Sure ma’am,’ the porter replied with a huge smile on his face (not sure if it was for the tip or what he was thinking was going to happen in the room).
He walked towards the door, turned back and smiled again and then finally left the room. The moment he left, Sameer spoke to Payal.
‘Arre kucch to dekha karo!’
‘That’s what I am doing.’
Sameer looked at Payal but realised she was looking at the honeymoon bed. He also looked at the bed.
‘Wow! Amaziiiiiiing!’
Before he could finish, Payal threw him on the bed and was on top of him. They made love passionately. After some passionate lovemaking, Sameer went for a quick shower. Payal joined him soon. They again made love in the shower and both came out of the bathroom radiant.
During the same night they ended up making love for few more times up to a point where Sameer was extremely exhausted but Payal was still active like a tigress.
Sameer tried to stop her but Payal was unstoppable and she slipped a Viagra in his mouth. Viagra did the trick for Payal as Sameer got excited in just a few minutes and they ended up making love one more time. Payal told him that she has a full quota of Viagra. Sameer just couldn’t believe his ears.
An Ideal Wife Page 9