My fingers weren’t quite as hesitant as my eyes. The tips caressed the edge and then dipped inside in search of whatever was nestled there. But it wasn’t metal I felt, it was glass. The lids of my eyes parted slowly, and I dared to peek between them to find a pale-pink bottle of OPI. My stare darted all over the restaurant in search of the gift-giver, but I came up empty-handed.
The hostess caught my eye and indicated for me to turn it over. Of course, the name. “Let Me Bayou A Drink” was stamped on the bottom and under it was a W scrawled in fine, silver Sharpie. I glanced back up to her, and she pointed toward the bar.
There he stood. All I could see was the smile on his face and the way his eyes focused on me.
He’d come.
I tucked the nail polish back into the box, and the box into the bag, and then the bag into my purse. And I made my way to Collier West. My heart swelled, and when I tried to swallow, a lump formed in my throat. A tear clung to my eye, and when I blinked, it ran down my cheek. The instant I was within reach of the man I’d spent so much time thinking about and missed so desperately over the last two weeks, he used his thumb to wipe the evidence of my emotion away.
“Babe.”
That one word from his lips brought the corners of my mouth up in a grin.
“Why are you crying?”
I shook my head, knowing words would be messy until I managed to compose myself. Until the moment I saw him, I wasn’t sure he’d even come, much less in good spirits. I knew there would be questions—this wouldn’t fix itself just because I’d sent him some nail polish and he’d met me for dinner. But God, I was glad he was here.
Craning my neck to stare into the eyes I loved so much, I wanted to lean into him. I wanted him to wrap me in his arms. I wanted to be close to him. But after the last kiss, I didn’t have the courage to take anything I wanted. Luckily for me, Collier seemed to read my mind. His arm snaked around my waist, and in one fluid motion, he brought my body to his. The world around us fell away, and the only thing that existed was the security he offered in his embrace.
He dipped his head next to my ear, and the sound of his voice washed over me like a cleansing rain. “I’ve missed you, too.” Then his lips met my temple, and he pulled back to see my face. His eyes scanned my features before he finally asked if I was ready to be seated.
Hand in hand, we followed the hostess to our table. The ease that normally surrounded us was off, and I knew we needed to address it, even though all I wanted to do was sweep it under the rug.
Just as I opened my mouth to speak, he said, “Thank you for the little presents. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to get in touch with you this week. Things haven’t been good at work, and I’ve been living in my office putting out fires.”
I waved him off. “It’s not a big deal. I figured you needed time to sort through things.”
“I did, but not a week. Unfortunately, I got sidetracked, and each time you reached out, I was in the middle of some horrific customer issue. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to come help you with the garbage disposal.”
My cheeks flamed with embarrassment, and I prayed he didn’t ask anything further. God knew I didn’t want to rehash that experience. He made eye contact with me, and the way he lifted his brow and quirked his lip teased at my humiliation with Luke Bryan’s pipe-fixing doppelganger. But instead of rousing me, he glanced down at the menu.
The waitress came and took our drink orders, but my stomach was too tied up to even consider food at the moment. He was here, but he hadn’t committed to anything beyond dinner, and I didn’t want to assume that his term of endearment or the lingering hug meant anything more than friendship.
“You know we have to talk about this, Giselle. We can’t just pretend the last few months weren’t what they were.”
My gaze cast toward the table, but his hand lifted my chin to force me to look at him.
“Giselle, please don’t shut down. I want to understand, and the only way I can is if you talk to me.”
“Okay, what would you like to know?”
“It’s not so much what I want to know but what I need to say.” He took my hand on top of the table and gently squeezed it while he held my stare. “I didn’t give you much slack when I showed up at your house, and for that, I’m sorry. I hope you understand just how blindsided I was by your kiss and then your confession.”
I nodded my agreement.
“I think you captured my heart the first time you asked to drive my car.”
My eyes went wide with excitement, and my mouth opened, but before I could get the question out, he stopped me.
“And the answer is still no.” He winked at me and kept talking. “But I believed you were into chicks. Hell, the first time I saw you was because you showed up at my house to have dinner with my sister. But, Giselle, even in the driveway, when I was a total ass, you still made my heart skip a beat. I’ve fought my feelings for you for months, refused to allow myself to go down that road because it would only end in disaster for me. But every time I turned around, there you were, hanging out, talking, being one of the guys. You infiltrated every aspect of my life without even trying. And I struggled to believe it wasn’t planned—even though it couldn’t have been.”
“Collier, I had no idea you and Beck lived together. I didn’t make dinner plans with her to meet you. I didn’t know you existed. It was all happenstance. But for the first time in my adult life, there was a man who treated me like a friend with zero expectation. I wasn’t willing to risk that by announcing my sexual preference. The only other person I’ve ever felt that comfort with is Ronnie.”
“I realize your intentions were never malicious…I just didn’t see it that morning on your front steps.”
“I’m sorry, Collier. So sorry. I never planned to mislead you. I hope you believe that.”
A snarky expression moved across his face. “So that day at the car show…you were jealous of Roma?”
An exaggerated eye roll caused him to laugh from the belly—a deep, hearty chuckle. “Which one inflates your ego more, converting a lesbian-wannabe or my being jealous of another woman?”
He quirked his mouth to the side and tapped his chin with his finger. “Hmm. I’d say they both give me equal street cred and increase the value of my man card tenfold.”
“At least you’re not full of yourself or anything.”
“What about the skimpy swimsuits?”
“What about them?”
“Were those to attract my attention, or is that your typical pool attire?”
Ugh, he was insufferable. I guess humiliation was my penance for misleading him. “Both.”
“That has to change.”
“What? You don’t like my swimsuits?” They were cute as hell, and I worked hard to look good in them.
“I love them, but so do all my friends. So if I’m not physically with you, I’d prefer you either wear something with more coverage or one of those sheer things girls put on over it.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at him. “You’re kidding, right? Have you seen the way women, even those not interested in men, look at you? And you’re worried about what I wear?”
He smiled and nodded.
“Fine.” It wasn’t a point I cared about arguing. I’d deal with it if the time came, but I hoped I’d just have Collier with me, and then it was a non-issue.
“The nail polish…”
If he had anything negative to say about my love of all things OPI, this might be where I had to walk away. Some women were addicted to shoes, some had an affinity for handbags, and others wanted jewelry. Personally, I had to have every color OPI ever put out. It wasn’t a negotiable point. I took a deep breath and asked, “What about it?” I held it in, hoping this wasn’t the end of Collier.
“Do I have to give it back?”
I blew out the air trapped in my lungs. He got it. Collier got me. “No. Those are for your personal collection. Did you have a favorite?”
I expected him to la
ugh, and he did smile, but he also held up his right pinky for me to see.
“Just wanted to see what love looked like on me,” he added.
The one nail was painted, fairly well I might add. “GPS I Love You.” He didn’t have to tell me the color, I’d recognize that shade anywhere. A chill ran up arms, and my eyes moved from the polish on his finger to the haunting green eyes that seduced me that day in his driveway. His lids narrowed just slightly, and the corner of his mouth tipped with the hint of a grin.
I didn’t ask why he’d left it painted. I didn’t care. I just loved that he had. I’d wanted to lean over the table and plant a kiss smack dab on his lips, but even I wasn’t that brave. After my epic failure on the dance floor two weeks ago, West would have to be the one to make the first move. I couldn’t risk the rejection for the second time.
We talked through dinner where I picked at the salad I’d ordered, and the easy comfort that had surrounded us in the past engulfed us like a cocoon. My mind raced in anticipation of where life would take us and how quickly we could get there. I didn’t need to rush things with Collier, but we’d wasted so much time that I wanted to make up for it.
“Giselle?” His thick fingers waved in front of my nose, catching my attention. “Where’d you go?”
“Sorry, just daydreaming.” I sounded drunk. Collier might not be in love with me, it might just be heavy like, but I was head over heels. I had it bad.
“Yeah? What about?” He stabbed the last piece of his steak with the fork before popping it into his mouth. Everything about him was masculine…even the way he chewed. I couldn’t stop staring at his jaw muscles—clenching with each bite. Or the way his arms flexed when he moved the silverware. But my favorite was the subtle way his eyes changed colors just slightly when he looked at me and said my name.
“Nothing in particular. Just glad I’m here.”
When the meal was over, and we’d sat there as long as we could, we finally got up to leave. I realized then I hadn’t thought this whole evening through very well. We were in two separate vehicles, which meant our time together ended when we left. Then it dawned on me as we stepped into the parking lot, my hand in his…I hadn’t seen Collier’s 911 when I’d pulled in, but he’d definitely arrived before I did.
“Where’s your car?”
“I had Beck drop me off. I hoped our evening wouldn’t be over after dinner.” A mischievous grin crossed his lips.
“A little presumptuous aren’t we, Mr. West?” My inner whore jumped for joy while I tried to play coy.
“Just figured we’ve wasted enough time. But I can call a cab.” He tried to mask his disappointment in favor of being a gentleman.
“Come on. I can take you home.”
He nodded but didn’t say anything. My car wasn’t hard to spot in the sea of blue, red, and white vehicles in front of us. Collier led the way, opening my door and helping me in before rounding the car to the passenger side. He remained silent during the ride, and I debated whether or not to take him back to his place or assume he wanted to come to mine. Taking a risk hadn’t paid off before, so I opted for the safe choice.
There wasn’t a light on inside when I pulled in behind his Porsche, and I hated the idea of leaving him alone. I knew the feel of those cold floors and the emptiness that grew inside me when I was inside those walls. When it was filled with his friends, it came to life, but without anyone around, it was like a vacuum. But I’d made an effort to pursue Collier, to show him I wanted to be with him. I’d taken the chance of emotional rejection—I couldn’t face physical, too. This was where I turned over the reins.
15
The Camaro idled in the circular drive behind his sports car. He hadn’t made any move to get out, but he hadn’t said anything, either. I put the car in neutral and pulled up the parking break, waiting for him to tell me whatever was on his mind.
“I know it’s getting late, but do you want to come in?” He motioned with his thumb over his shoulder to the house behind him. “It’s been a really long time since I’ve dated, and honestly, Giselle, I don’t know what I’m doing. Beck isn’t going to be home tonight so you won’t—”
“I’d love to.” I needed to stop his rambling before he said something that would make me laugh at him. Collier was normally a confident man, and I didn’t want him to question anything. I didn’t have a clue what we were doing or where this was going. My heart raced like I was fifteen and about to go to second base for the first time. My jingle-jangle rang between my legs, and I desperately wanted him. Maybe that made me easy, I didn’t know…nor did I care.
The closer we got to his house once we were out of the car, the more my sexual failures plagued me. Every bad date from Justin to Heather ran through my mind. I hadn’t been able to seal the deal with a man or a woman, and even rubber had lost its appeal. I dropped Collier’s hand in favor of wringing my own together to try to ease the anxiety.
But somewhere between the hesitancy in the car and the foyer of his house, Collier made a decision, and it didn’t include hours on the couch watching television or talking. Each step I took with him leading the way put us deeper into his home. I’d only been in his bedroom once, but I knew that was where we were headed. I tried to fight the nagging doubt in my thoughts—not doubts about Collier, but doubts about my ability to stop overthinking this and live in the moment. It had always been something I’d been good at, but that all stopped after Justin.
Collier turned on the lamp beside his bed, and it cast a warm glow over the large room. I stood firmly rooted just inside the doorway waiting for an invitation—or hell, maybe even instructions. But West was in his comfort zone, everything here was familiar to him, and the tension that had been pulled across his shoulders in the car had disappeared.
I hadn’t moved an inch; like a daft cow, I just watched him. He toed off his shoes with his back still to me, then reached down to the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. With each inch of skin he revealed, my mouth watered, and my knees weakened. The muscles along his spine flexed, and all I could think about was running my fingers over them.
He slowly turned around to face me. His features had softened, and a warmth radiated from him that invited me closer…but I didn’t move.
“You want to come in? Take your shoes off?”
I searched my mind for something smartass to say but drew a blank. Sarcasm was my first line of defense, and without it, I felt naked and exposed.
His laugh echoed off the marble floors that ran through the entire house. “Babe, seriously. Come here.”
He’d called me babe a handful of times in the past, but it took on a different meaning today. Those four letters went from casual acquaintance to intimate affection in one breath. I wanted nothing more than to please him, and before I could consciously make the decision to follow his instructions, my feet listened to his command. In a few short steps, I stood inches before the man who’d occupied my dreams and danced in my thoughts.
“Shoes.”
His hands steadied my hips, and I lifted my feet from the confines of my heels. Collier kicked them to the side in a move that screamed of sex appeal. Once my soles were planted firmly on the cold surface, his fingers snaked beneath my top and lingered on my lower back. Our eyes connected in the soft light, and at that moment, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind of what was between us. There was no need for words or professions of devotion. Our hearts spoke in a language I didn’t know could be understood.
He dug into my skin just slightly, tilted his head to the side, and finally, Collier touched his lips to mine. My thoughts quit racing, my spirit calmed, and love poured between us. The warmth of his tongue caressed my lips, parting them for entrance. And a simple kiss became an unspoken conversation. The deeper it went, the more his hands roamed. My skin flamed with his touch and ached for more.
I’d wanted Collier to lead, and that he did. He finally broke our kiss long enough to bring my shirt over my head, and when his mouth found mine again
, his fingers worked the button, and then the zipper of my jeans. I mirrored his efforts, and in seconds, he stood before me in naked glory, and all that remained on my skin was a skimpy, lace thong and matching bra. Collier stopped and pulled back. His gaze went from my lips, slowly down my neck, past my collarbone, where it lingered momentarily on the fabric that barely hid my secrets, then further down to my belly button. It hovered slightly on the tiny bow at the waist of my panties before stroking my thighs and landing on my toes.
When his warm-green eyes met mine again, the look on his face made every mile I’d logged in the last five years worth the pain. My confidence returned, and I decided to help move this process along. Not that I minded the foreplay, that wasn’t it at all, but I was beyond wanting to pretend like I’d never seen a naked man and now just wanted to be consumed by him. I reached behind my back and unhooked my bra before allowing it to fall to the floor and then shimmied out of my panties. I’d been so focused on watching him size me up that I’d missed the gift that had been on display in front of me.
I’d seen his chest and his arms, the washboard abs—they’d all made appearances at the pool. Even his legs had shown up in shorts a time or two. But nothing prepared me for the deep groove that pointed toward what would prove to be heaven. In the blink of an eye, Collier had taken over, pulled us both to the bed and somehow managed to roll me underneath him. His knee nudged mine apart, and he made room for his body between my legs. Had I had time to think about it, I would have been embarrassed by how wet he’d made me with just a kiss, but Collier didn’t give me time to question any of it.
Girl Crush Page 20