“I’m an idiot.” I admitted softly and he looked down at me.
“No, he’s the idiot for thinking he could do that without anyone knowing, or without any consequences.”
I realized then that Aidan’s appearance in the bathroom was something of a mystery. I had been yelling but I didn’t think I had been yelling loud enough for him to hear me from wherever he had been.
The music in the club had been loud surely, he couldn’t have been able to hear me. No less if he had been occupied with that blonde somewhere else.
“How did you know?” I said quietly, looking up at him as he moved into my bedroom and bent down to set me on the bed gently. The bed was soft and comfy, I could feel it surrounding me like a cloud and I sunk with
pleasure deeper into the covers. My eyes slipped closed and I snuggled around the blankets happy and thankful he’d brought me to my bed.
“You have to take that dress off. It’s soaking wet, soapy, and smells like Killer Kool-Aid.” He reached out, pulling the blankets away from me and I groaned as the cold air hit me once more.
“No…” I whined, trying to fight him but failing as he got the blanket completely out from under me and dropped it onto the floor.
“Savannah, take your dress off and I’ll get you some pjs.” He turned and looked around for the closet before heading over to get what I needed.
“You want to see me half naked again.” I said with a soft mumble and he agreed with a chuckle as he pulled out a nightie from the closet. I undid the dress once more and pulled it over my head, throwing it onto the floor as he returned with the nightie.
“That was a benefit to being a knight in shining armor.” He held the nightie out to me and for a moment our eyes met.
I liked this side of Aidan. If I didn’t know how much of a jerk he could be I knew that I would’ve easily have fallen a lot harder for him than I had. I wanted to keep this Aidan forever but I knew that it could only last long. In fact, a voice in the back of my mind was warning me to get him out of there before he did spoil it and the memory was destroyed.
But I selfishly wanted more, if only for another few minutes. Like Christmas, I was going to assume this side of Aidan only came but once a year.
“Why’s that?” I asked as innocently as my drunkenness could manage and he arched an eyebrow at me, seeing through my plight for a compliment. But for whatever reason he humored me, reaching out to tuck my hair behind my ear again in a gesture that made me feel a lot younger than I was.
“Because, believe it or not I think you’re the right fit for Hera in intelligence, strength and beauty. Atlas couldn’t have picked a better consort for Zeus in terms of vessels.”
“But you said earlier...” I frowned slightly trying to gauge if this was a compliment or not. He certainly hadn’t said I was perfect for him but that I was perfect for Zeus. Did he think Zeus and he were one in the same, and this was a clever way of avoiding admitting that he liked me?
My head spun trying to understand and I fell back onto the bed with a groan, wanting to desperately sleep.
“Savvy, you’re still half naked. And as much as I appreciate the view you probably should cover up.
He pushed his hands under my back, forcing me to sit up again and I groaned in discomfort.
“Why… it’s you. It’s not like someone else is going to walk in…” I opened my eyes again and once more I found myself falling into those icy blue depths of his.
We stayed like that for a moment before he shrugged and nodded, “suit yourself then.” He pulled his hand back from my body and a small charge of electricity flowed through me from him.
He started slightly I knew he’d felt it too as we both sat there frozen for a moment staring at each other. I wanted to say something, to acknowledge whatever that had been but I didn’t know what to say. I finally looked away. The minute the intensity of our gazes was broken the charge in the room seemed to dissipate.
“Well, I…” He began, stepping back from the bed and a sense of panic went through me. I looked back up quickly and shook my head.
“Wait! You never answered my question.” An eyebrow arched itself in my direction and I cleared my throat, ready to clarify: “I asked how you knew what was happening.”
Aidan nodded his head slightly and looked away, turning completely toward my window and staring out into the darkness that was spreading as far as the eye could see.
I wondered vaguely if he looked out there and thought about how all that was now under his jurisdiction. No matter if there were Kings or Presidents or Dictators, he, in the end, had the final say of what happened on earth.
But the idea of having that much control was somewhat daunting. What were we supposed to do with it? How were we supposed to change the world and fix it? We were kids compared to… well, to Atlas I suppose. Our souls might be old but our knowledge and experiences weren’t.
“I was back in my apartment, having a few extra drinks with myself and I don’t know… Suddenly my stomach was pitted with panic, but it wasn’t mine. I didn’t think it was. But I felt like something was wrong and then he told me it was you. The last time I’d seen you, you were at the club I started there. Once I was in Styx it was like we knew where you were and what was going on.” He frowned, raking a hand through his mused hair. “It’s hard to explain but I knew you were in trouble and needed me.”
“You didn’t take that blonde back to your apartment?”
“What? No!” He shook his head, turning back toward me. “She’s like 18. A six-year difference is one thing, but almost a 10year difference is a totally different thing. I could be like her older brother almost.” My previous worry and the inlaid jealousy evaporated and I smiled.
“You were worried about me.” I pointed out sleepily, leaning back down onto the bed and letting my eyes close. The idea that he’d been seized by my panic and it had transformed into his own, it made me happy. Even if he was a jerk to me 99% of the time, he still cared underneath it all. It was almost enough to make everything he’d said and done up to this point insignificant.
“I was not.” He disagreed gruffly. I smiled and nodded in his general direction as I snuggled up into the bed, hugging a pillow close to my body. He stood there for a moment, no doubt staring at me and mulling over what I had said before he moved back to the side of the bed and picked up the discarded blanket.
He threw it up onto the bed and settled it around me like a protective cloud. He even went far as to tuck me in and I could feel his hands hovering over me for a lot longer than he needed to.
I guess he was trying to gauge if I was asleep or not because he then whispered, “of course I was… I don’t know what he’d do if something happened to you. I don’t know what I’d do…” I smiled to myself and reached out from under the blanket to pat his hand.
He jerked it away from me in surprise and I quietly replied, “But you’re not supposed to defend me I thought… It’s my job to take care of me, I can’t rely on someone else to defend me.” He sighed softly and I reluctantly rolled over, opening my eyes to look at him.
“It is my responsibility.” He said finally, a resignation laboring his words. “We might not be together, we may never be together but you’re still Hera and I’m still Zeus. No matter how we feel about each other, I need to respect the way he feels about her, and you consequently. Is it my duty to protect you when you need it, especially against Zeus’ rapist brother? Yeah, it’s my responsibility.”
I smiled at him and reached out, touching the back of his hand gently this time. I wanted to believe too that he felt a responsibility toward me for his own sake even if it wasn’t true.
I certainly wasn’t going to ruin the moment by putting a damper on it and simply said, “We appreciate it.”
“Well that and the amount of alcohol you’ve put into your system tonight, I’m amazed you didn’t drink yourself into a coma. I felt obligated as a member of society to make sure that you got yourself home without letting tha
t entire bottle of tequila make your clothes fall off. Publicly that is.” I could tell he was remembering the lacy bra and underwear I’d put on under my beautiful dress. I flushed and all at once normal Aidan was back.
“Ah yes, that must be it…” I teased slightly, patting his hand once more before I drew it away and curled back into my bed.
“Like I said, I wasn’t complaining about the view.” He straightened up and I could almost feel his smirk from where I laid. I sensed he was getting ready to leave and yet a part of me didn’t want him to. I was enjoying this new side of him much that I didn’t want to go back to how we used to be.
As he turned I reached out once again, but this time my fingers slid into the spaces between his and I held on like he was a life raft. I wasn’t going to let go easily this time.
Chapter 14
“You said we might never be together… Is it because of Charlotte?” I opened my eyes slightly, wanting to see his facial reaction as he thought about it. He seemed lost in thought for a moment before he opened his mouth to say something.
“I hate her. She’s such a bitch.” I interrupted, hoping my opinion counted for something.
Aidan laughed and nodded, “I know.”
“She’s self-absorbed… and conniving…” I frowned, thinking about what she’d done with Hunter to turn everyone against me. “She made those things up about me, you know… She tricked me, I thought I was using Hunter to make you jealous.”
“Make me jealous?” He smirked at me.
I ignored him and continued, “but she’d set it up to have Hunter come back to my place. No doubt he knew that if he opened that door we’d see you. Maybe I guess she hoped I’d put out because I was angry with you… But I didn’t. I don’t need to play her games to win.”
“No, you don’t.” He said simply and my eyes opened again to see him.
“But at the same time, I know I can’t compete with her.” I said with acceptance. “I can’t compete with anyone here.”
He frowned and shook his head, “you’re a lot purer than those other girls Savannah.” I frowned, confused by what he meant because I certainly wasn’t virginal. “You… I don’t know how to say it. You try hard to be like that but that part of you, that pure part, won’t compromise who you are, to play petty games.” That wasn’t totally true.
I knew that my jealousy, and that of Hera’s, had and would continue to lead us to make poor decisions to spawn jealousy in him and Zeus. That wasn’t as pure as he made me sound, I had moments that were sheer lapses in judgment that I certainly wasn’t proud of.
“I guess what I’m trying to say is that you’re not as conniving as they can be. I like that you’re … Honest, I guess. You are what you are, take it or leave it.” I smiled softly at him as he finally broke his gaze of concentration and looked down at me; almost surprised I was there, despite our conversation.
“Then, why are you dating Charlotte?” If he despised girls like her, couldn’t stand their games and what have you, then why was he associating with their Queen Bee?
“What? We’re not dating… Who said that?”
“You’re not?” Relief washed over me although I knew that hooking up with her was bad.
“No, I wanted to prove to myself that even supposed high and mighty ‘virgin’ Goddesses could fall for my charm.” I should have expected a response like that from him, but frankly it caught me off guard.
Here he was telling me how he didn’t like the way Charlotte and the other girls played games but wasn’t that a game of his own? Not to mention admitting something like that was slimy. I wanted to slap him across the face for women across the globe and yet, I felt kind of justified in knowing that this could be used as ammunition against Charlotte if I ever needed it. And I knew I would soon.
“Well, you better let her know you’re not together since she and everyone else thinks you are. I mean you have been acting like you’re her boyfriend.” I raised my eyebrows to him before grinning mischievously and leaning back into the pillows.
It was a reluctant gesture as it forced me to release his hand but sleep was trying to pull me under once again.
“What is that look for?” He asked, shoving his hands into the pocket of his jeans as he towered over me.
“Nothing, thinking if you don’t want to tell her, I can.” He frowned and shook his head,
“Now, now, Queenie… I thought this was supposed to be a second chance.”
“It’s one thing to make up lies about someone like she did, and a completely different thing to tell them the truth.”
I put my hand on my chest, “as her friend it is the right thing to do.”
He rolled his eyes at me before shrugging, “do what you want then. It makes no difference to me.” He was quiet for a moment, like he was considering saying something else before finally speaking: “You all good then? Can I go without worrying you’ll die in your own puke tonight?”
“You’re going to worry about me?”
He scowled, “no but I don’t need to be charged with Goddesscide because I left your drunk ass alone for the night.”
I enjoyed the fact that I had bothered him. I liked that I could make him scowl like that in almost a playful resentment. Or at least I imagined it was playful.
“You care about me, you worry about me!” I chanted in a singsong voice, teasing him while I had the chance.
He leaned down scowling more, “no I don’t!” He said firmly, reaching for the pillow behind my head and pulling it out from under me. He swung it, hitting me with it in a controlled way I knew was meant as playful.
“Hey.” I sat up, grabbing the pillow and tugged it from his hands. His body bent toward me, holding onto the pillow and for a moment we froze in time, faces hovering near one another as we stared at each other.
I wanted to kiss him but we were both aware of the friction between us, aware of what might happen to our Gods if we let them awaken in that way. But in that moment, it was us and no one else. Not even Zeus and Hera.
I knew then what I was feeling wasn’t because of her and how she felt towards Aidan’s God but there was a part of me that was attracted to Aidan. Maybe it was because I knew of his flaws, maybe because he didn’t hide them from me but sometimes laid them out in a naked and honest way.
Knowing what I did about him I probably should’ve run screaming because he was the kind of man I’d told myself I wouldn’t get involved with again and yet there was something different about him. It was a naïve glimmer of hope that I could change him.
I don’t know who moved away first but we were separated again and a silence hung between us that screamed for something. Swallowing hard I took a deep breath and spoke the first thing on my mind.
“I’m not doing well with this embracing my inner Goddess thing.” Aidan nodded but didn’t say anything I continued: “I’m confused all the time, is it my emotions or hers? Or, worse, is it both? Is she magnifying what I’m feeling with her already heightened emotions? I have these moments of absolute clarity and then the next I’m blinded with jealousy or rage. I can’t control it and I feel bipolar. I’m up and down all the time… Is this a part of the experience or is it me?”
For a long time, he stood there, hands tucked in his pockets and thinking. Occasionally he would look at me and then look away. I thought maybe he was going to turn away and leave.
Outside the clear sky had turned dark and clouds brought a slow rumble with them, signaling the start of a storm. My eyes shifted to the window, watching the sheet lightning spread across the sky before retreating into darkness once more. The storm mesmerized me and after his pregnant consideration he turned, walking out of my bedroom and away for good I imagined.
I regretted asking him the question, even if he could’ve chosen to avoid it without leaving me suddenly. But then he surprised me, returning to the room this time accompanied by a drink he’d helped himself to.
He turned to the window, watching the storm get closer and more danger
ous. I realized then he was controlling it. His emotions were reflected in the rolling thunder and the bleakness of the clouds. I was amazed at his power, jealous that I didn’t have the ability to do something like that. As a Goddess of women, marriage and childbirth, I didn’t have cool storm powers, instead I threw people spontaneously across the room.
He sipped from the drink before second-guessing himself and throwing it back in one go. His other hand lifted and he poured another glass, taking that back in one gulp as well before repeating the process. I watched him for a few seconds before I couldn’t stand it anymore and I sat up, reaching out to him and turning him toward me.
“Stop that.” I said finally, not having expected my questions to induce such a reaction from him.
“Do you care?” He asked, making to throw the next drink back. I let him, but reached instead for the bottle, almost finished at this point, and pried it from his hands.
“Do you want the long or short answer?” I balanced the bottle beside me on the bed and he watched my every move, the room illuminated occasionally by the lightning outside.
“In this case, shorter is better.” He reached out and I expected for him to go for the bottle but his hand fell to the soft curve of my back and rested there. “Finish that or give it back Blondie.” I tilted forward from the pressure of his hand, frowning slightly as I stared up at him almost defiantly.
“Then I do care.” I lifted the bottle, intent on proving how much I cared and chugged the rest of the contents in one breath. It burned and I choked slightly, my lungs screaming for air as I desperately tried to finish it off. When I finally did I coughed, shaking my head as it spun slightly.
After recovering I grinned proudly and held the empty bottle out to him as a trophy.
His fingers curled slightly against my skin, his eyebrow arched as he watched me before he shook his head. His free hand relieved me of the empty bottle.
“Touché.” His fingers slid up my spine slowly, sending tingles through my nerves and I repressed the urge to shiver at his touch, no matter how electric it was. “I don’t want this responsibility: to be King; to be Zeus. I hate feeling him inside of me trying to gain control. I’ve always been a little selfish, but he… he only thinks about himself and what he wants. He’s only growing stronger with every mistake I make and the further I get from being Aidan Cartwright.” His hand had crawled up my spine and dropped back down again, deliberately falling on my ass and staying there.
Grace of Gods Boxset: Reincarnated Greek Gods YA/NA Series Page 13