Reflectively, bringing the glass back up to my lips, I enjoyed the burn as the whiskey curled down my throat in swirls. It was lukewarm due only to a lack of interest in finding ice cubes. It didn’t make a difference though, warm or cold; it was the end effect I sought. Rehabilitation had done nothing to curb the cravings. They still came, usually stronger than the last, and always right after he did something unsavory.
I’d been sitting at the edge of the bar in Styx, contemplating my weakness for some time now. Wishing to go back and be stronger, if not for me, than for her. He’d made a good argument for our actions, promising me that it was for the best. But I still couldn’t get the sensation of shivers from my spine when her shrill voice cried out my name in anguish.
Once more, I’d been the reaper of torment. Only this time, the victim was someone I truly did care about.
I knew I shouldn’t refer to Hades as “him”, “he”, or “it” any longer. There was no fooling myself: we were the same. His thoughts were mine, as my actions were his.
I allowed him to lock her in that apartment, as much as he had allowed me to do it. It was in her best interests; she needed to see, and she needed to unite. I needed my wife. His wife. Our wife.
I took another sip of the warm whiskey and shook my head. I could only hope that one day she would forgive me; we only wanted a second chance at happiness. Even a God of Death deserved that.
Throwing the rest of the alcohol back in one, deep, gulp I pushed myself away from the bar and stood up slowly on unsteady legs. I had a private training session with Atlas, to practice controlling my powers. In the group sessions, no one was interested in partnering with me, despite even numbers, might I add, so I rarely ever got the chance to explore my abilities properly.
He would chastise me for my afternoon indulgence and remind me, yet again, that alcohol not only inhibited Hades’ powers, but my powers too. I found this statement incorrect. My powers worked just fine, when I didn’t have Hades’ sleazy voice in my ear, reminding me of what I was doing wrong and how he could do better. In fact, I found, I did much better magically without my Godly counterpart there to ‘help’. In
fact, Hades’ brand of helping was more of a hindrance than some selfless mission to see me succeed.
“Griffin, glad you could make it.” There was an unmistakable tone of contempt in his voice as I walked into the training room. Whether it was for me, my God, or for the fact that I was helpless like a newborn baby when it came to this power thing, I didn’t know.
I didn’t bother answering him; nothing I wanted to say was particularly nice. Atlas interpreted this and carried on, “alright, from where we left off.”
I circled around him slowly, my legs as woozy as my head, pausing finally, to ground myself across from the Titan. I held my hands out, concentrating on that coolness that curled through me, and slowly channeled it
toward Atlas. A gust of black smoke was expelled from my fingers, wrapping through the air toward him. Like a snake, it began to coil itself at his ankles first, carefully making its way up his body and finally, held tight around his neck. If there was a body beyond the darkness, it was shrouded entirely and only given away by the mass the smoke had taken on.
“Good, good,” came a soft, choked reply. But I didn’t want to stop. The coolness began to tingle at my toes, encouraging me to push more and exercise more of my power. This was the point Atlas had warned me about again and again. He worried that the alcohol would dull my sensibility and I would allow the coolness to submerge me completely.
For a moment, I considered it, as it climbed through my bones, up my ankles, and into my knees. I felt steadier than I had ever before. I felt powerful and indestructible. I was a God. I commanded more respect than this Titan had dared ever show me...
Curling my fingers into fists, I dropped my hands to my sides and held my eyes shut for a moment. Beyond the temporary darkness, I could hear the muffled protests of the Titan. Looking up quickly, I waved my hand, and the smoke dispersed, freeing Atlas from his chains.
“Well done.” His voice was shaken. I felt myself smirk. Good, he should fear me. “How was it this time?”
“How was what?” I ran a hand through my hair, musing it into knots, and contemplating my sudden longing for a cigarette.
“How was it to relinquish control?” I knew he meant literal control, but there was the whisper of a greater lesson in his tone. He saw these pieces of training as useful in helping me accept Hades. The iciness of power was his metaphor for Hades’ residence in my soul. He hoped I would understand that I needed to relinquish myself to Hades for us to cooperate. He didn’t understand that neither of us would ever truly be comfortable with selling a part of ourselves to the other for this union he craved.
“Difficult, it was orgasmic having so much power,” I said drily, scratching my pant pocket, where I wished a pack of smokes lay.
“And why did you give it up?” Was this a therapy session? I wasn’t interested in thinking about my feelings. They were complicated
enough, without being dissected by a man who made killing him enjoyable.
I shrugged, not bothering to encourage any more psychological exploration. Turning away from Atlas, I crossed the room and picked up a medicine ball, balancing it on my fingertips with interest. Savannah would be hard-pressed to call me weak anymore; with Hades’ help I was stronger than ever, and in possession of all kinds of supernatural health benefits.
“I asked, ‘why did you give it up’?” The relentless Atlas repeated himself, as I tossed the medicine ball back in the general direction of its stand, before turning to him.
“I heard you,” I said, moving back to my position with a shrug. “I don’t want to be responsible for killing someone who doesn’t deserve it, however annoying he is.”
“Death is your domain, Griffin. There will be some deaths you will not feel compulsory, but they are necessary nonetheless. There must always be balance in the universe. You are the guardian of this balance. You need to accept your fate, accept Hades, and this acceptance will help restore equilibrium to the world.”
“Make no mistake, I understand my role.” I shoved my hands into my pockets, to hide the fists that allowed my nails to bite into my palms. A terse smile suggested to Atlas that he should continue with caution.
“Very well, I’d like to try something different today, then.” The Titan moved to the door, the expectation that I should follow hung in the air. Taking a deep breath, I followed with reluctance in my muscles. Whatever he had in store for me would be less than enjoyable. Even in the commonest of circumstances, Atlas tried my patience.
I knew I should’ve been kinder to him; it was him who had brought me off the streets and probably saved my life. But what life had he given me? I was condemned to share the same steps with a creature that others like him loathed. I was the man toward whom eyes turned at parties, not out of awe, but out of fascination. It was a cruel fascination that captivated my audience; they wondered how I could stand myself and why I still dared to show my face.
Obstinacy, I am sure is the answer, a dogged desire to survive. It was the very thing that had saved me from the streets, brought me from my childhood home, and hit back at those who abused me first.
Atlas brought me into a garden, and I could smell a touch of Valentina lingering in the air. Her magic was an intoxicating combination of honey and cayenne: sweet, smoky, and spicy. It was the perfume of a Queen. I closed my eyes to inhale the smell, making it easier to forget that only a few hours ago, I had locked her in an apartment in the Underworld.
It wasn’t even a part of our kingdom, but a flat, chiseled from my imagination into the walls of the doomed hallways. It was simple and lacked comforts; as Hades insisted, the more uncomfortable she was, the more she would come around to accepting her Goddess. It would be that, or Hades’ ability to personify the fly that couldn’t be swatted.
“A garden is rife with life. Each seed sown, is imbued with a powerful life
force that gives it the energy to blossom into beauty. Your power is to absorb this life force. You are the only God who can suck the life force out of an item and bring it to its death. Others who possess this ability to wield life forces, can only reduce it to an immobile state of nothingness. This is not a curse, Griffin. Only you have the ability to relieve the suffering of those no longer strong enough to survive.”
That was a romantic way of looking at death. No one I knew, romanticized what would happen to them when their lot in life was up. Death offered only one solution— eternity in the great beyond, where they might one day be relieved from their suffering... Because what I did, came as no relief.
“You want me to absorb the life force of these flowers.”
“Yes, I need you to practice. You need to understand the heady compulsion life forces can be. It is like a siren’s call once you have heard it. It will call for you, and you must learn to resist, until such a time comes when your powers are needed. Now, focus on this lily here. Close your eyes and just listen.”
I raised my eyebrows, glancing sideways at the Titan, before doing as I was told. Nothing happened immediately; I stood in stoic silence, waiting for a song or whatever it was I was looking for. Then, at the corner of my mind, I felt something pull and tickle. Something magical was teasing me, touching my brain and flitting away before I could catch it. My brow furrowed in concentration as I reached out telepathically, trying to get it within my grasp.
My hand reached out instinctively, in sync with my mind, and as my fingers closed around the velvet folds of the lily I could see it in my mind’s eye. It possessed an ethereal glow, gilded against my stark skin. The longer I held it, the more its golden hue transferred to me. It trickled through the tops of my fingers, flowing up my veins, and igniting them like lava rivers under my skin. They coursed toward my heart, creating a blinding light from my chest, as I absorbed the life force.
As more golden power surged through me, the lily in my hand wrinkled and wilted. One by one, each petal broke off and drifted to the ground, whereupon contact, it shattered into a million tiny specks of dust. Not even the skeletal stem remained when I was done with it. The flower was gone, and no one would ever remember it had been here.
Sad as that was, I wanted more.
Brushing past Atlas, I stalked through the garden, reaching out blindly for the golden hues. They did call to me; they begged for my touch— they wanted this as much as I did. I learned quickly, I didn’t have to touch them to absorb them; I just had to feel for them in my mind, like I had the lily. I could see it now, around me was an entire garden of saturated colors, and each one ran toward me like a river.
They touched my skin, painting it different colors, as each one entered my veins and became a part of me. I felt truly immortal for the first time since learning I was a God. This was the blessing I had been looking for amongst my curse. This was the happiness I craved.
I laughed aloud, but the barren, broken noise drew me back to reality. This was wrong. I was killing Valentina’s garden. What if the garden was linked to Valentina’s light?
I looked down at my hands in horror, and no longer did the bright colors look beautiful.
They were stains of blood on my hands. This was the blood of the flowers, and I had massacred them all.
“Agh!” A cry of anguish was torn from my throat, as my knees gave out from under me and I fell to the ground in horror. Open your eyes, Griffin, I commanded myself to do as I was told, but my eyelids felt melded to my cheekbones. The hallow garden surrounded me, and the ashy carcasses of the wasted flowers towered over my body, crying out for me. My hands clamped over my ears, trying desperately to block the voices, but they penetrated my skin, echoed in my bones, and strummed themselves against my muscles.
Their cries were a part of me, and I a part of them now. Their life force gave me my power, and I understood. This was the cost of being the God of the Dead.
Now you understand, boy...
Hades’ hollow voice boomed over those of the flowers, silencing them. Now, you understand our burden. I had always understood though. One cannot bear being judge, jury, and executioner without a price. I could not be a God without a price. But, was the cost worth the product, of that, I wasn’t sure.
“Griffin.” Atlas clamped his hand down on my shoulder, and I turned in horror. His body was alight with the intoxicating life force. Every inch of him glowed, beckoning me to reach out and take what belonged to me.
I shrunk back from his hand, swatting it away with my own. I wouldn‘t be a murderer. I wouldn‘t live with the voices that didn’t belong in the Underworld but had nowhere else to go. I wasn’t strong enough for that.
“Griffin,” Atlas grew impatient, grabbing both my shoulders and shaking me. “Open your eyes!” So I complied, and the darkness of the room around us horrified me. “You understand now,” he echoed Hades, as he stared down me with pity.
“I... understand,” I said softly, turning to take in the damage
around me. Valentina’s garden was no more. Every flower and fruit had withered and shrunk. It was like standing in Pompeii after the lava was gone: a graveyard of lost potential.
I swallowed hard, as I pulled myself back to my feet, chancing another glance toward Atlas. He looked worried, and I could sense his thoughts. He didn’t think I was strong enough to contain my power, and he was right.
“I think this is enough for the day.” I nodded in agreement, brushing off my knees. “I don’t want you to practice without me, Griffin. Just in case. I know it feels like the life force gives you the power to be the one and only Almighty, but the price of so much power will be your downfall.”
I flexed my fingers, staring down at them in consideration of what they were capable of. If I reaped too many premature souls who had nowhere to go, I would carry them all with me. How many could I hold, before the weight of such a load brought me down?
“Next time, we’ll practice collecting souls that are ready. You will find that much easier, than this.” He clapped me, unexpectedly, on the shoulder, the way a father would his son. “Don’t blame yourself for losing control, everyone does the first time. That is why I brought you here, where it was safest. The screams will not haunt you like you think they will, as the flowers didn’t scream at all. That was you.”
He let go of me and turned, leaving the room without another word. I blinked in the direction he had gone, thrown by what he had said. Suddenly aware of my circumstance, my throat ached like it was scratched raw. I gently pet my fingers down its length before swallowing again to ease it. I frowned to myself, as I realized, perhaps I didn’t understand much at all.
Chapter 2
I returned to my apartment with a heavy mind. I’d known all along that I was the master of Death. I understood that I reaped the souls of those who had passed on to the great beyond. But, I was riddled with shock from learning that I could quite simply take a life from an innocent, should the mood strike me. And the mood, it seemed, could be struck often and obsessively, if I weren’t careful.
The voices had seemed so real, so alive; goosebumps rose on my skin just thinking about it, refusing to shake their lingering echo. Everything in nature had a soul and a life, each one as intoxicating as the next. It didn’t matter if it was fauna, flora, or even hominid. There was no distinguishing the invigorating sense that came with my powers. Who would be there to stop me next time? What would happen if I couldn’t be stopped? Would anyone trust me enough to stay around and help?
Her.
The answer was so simple, of course. Persephone was the life force that tempered us. Where we ruled death, she ruled life. The flowers had been Valentina’s doing, and their destruction was mine. Together, we created the perfect harmony—the balance Atlas sought for me to learn. This was why Hades needed her so much. He was afraid that without her, he would lose control and be consumed by his greed. Too much of a good thing would prove to be our Achilles heel.
She gave us stren
gth through her life. While I had been sick in bed, going through withdrawal, every day, Val had brought me flowers. In her mind, I was sure, the flowers were for comfort, but they died each day without fail. I had been absorbing their life force and using it to heal my body.
I reached out and touched the remains of the wilted flower on my bedside table. It should’ve begun to rot by now, but this was the half-dead state I had left it in by the end of my healing journey. I had never even considered this idea before now, but it made so much more sense as to why I recovered as quickly as I did.
Valentina was so sweet. She possessed the kind of temperament that most people sought to achieve in a lifetime, but she had done so, in only in a matter of decades.
I worried that my influence might corrupt her, damage the goodness that resided within her. That was, after all, my curse. I was the plague, and she was the victim. Nothing could be truer than that. She was languishing because of me, because I went along blindly with Hades’ plan to awaken Persephone.
But what if we awoke something else within Valentina too?
I could hardly believe that someone who had lived an immortal life as Princess of the Underworld did not possess even the slightest of dark blemishes on their soul. Those of us, who lived amongst death, were equipped to do so, because of our darkness. Valentina was light; she was goodness and the opposite of what I was. How could someone as wholly good as she, have a dark enough spirit to justify condemning her to a life by my side?
I knew there was something she was hiding from me and the other Gods. I knew that despite my longing for a different story, she did have darkness in her past. It was obvious in the way she listened to my history and barely recoiled from the truths that I had told her. Only someone who understood darkness would accept such darkness, and that alone, made me feel irrational.
I wanted to keep her locked in the apartment for her protection, to save her from anymore hurt. I wanted to return to our former world and seek out the source of this pain and banish it for good.
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