Childhood Fears

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Childhood Fears Page 15

by L. L. Soares


  “How would he have known we were going to the dump? It doesn’t make sense.”

  “It’s the only thing that makes sense,” I insisted, and Sean must have understood, because he stopped arguing with me. The idea of Michael spying on us was creepy, but neither one of us wanted to consider the alternative.

  “Where is he?” Now Sean was whispering too.

  “Who, Michael?”

  “The bear, you idiot. Where is that butt-sucking bear?”

  “In the washing machine. He was all covered with crap.” I wrinkled my nose at the memory. Mom had been all too happy to see that I was finally doing some laundry. Thankfully she hadn’t seen what I was washing. She would not have been impressed by Edgar’s current state.

  “He didn’t bite you or anything?”

  “I didn’t give him a chance.” I’d thrown a sheet over the bear, much like I’d throw a butterfly net over a frog. What if he struggled? What if I saw him struggle? Seeing something like that would make me lose my mind. But Edgar hadn’t stirred. He’d acted like any other dumb teddy bear, even when I threw the laundry soap in his face.

  “Good. Maybe the little piss-arse will drown.”

  “I don’t think so,” I said, but I hoped the same. Every time I thought of Edgar down there in the basement, going through the spin cycle, I pictured that terrible sneer. Edgar was still alive, all right. Alive and planning his revenge.

  “So we’ll drown him. You’re not grounded anymore, right? Your room is clean now, right?”

  The smell of garbage had been so strong that I doubted it would go away. I’d borrowed some of Mom’s lavender potpourri, but that had only made it worse. Now my room stunk of rot and flowers. In spite of the stench, it was as clean as it had ever been. My clothes and toys were picked up, and the floor sparkled. “Yeah.”

  “Meet me tomorrow at the lake. And bring Edgar. Be prepared to say goodbye to that bastard bear.”

  I couldn’t help hoping that my friend’s plan would work. But even then, I had my doubts.

  Edgar more than survived his laundry room experience—he thrived. With his fur all fluffy and clean, he seemed new again. If it weren’t for the snarl that twisted his snout, he would have been almost cute. He still stunk, though.

  I was tempted to throw him in the closet where Michael kept all of his things, but if Sean’s plan was going to work, I’d need the bear first thing tomorrow morning. However, that wasn’t the only reason I kept Edgar with me. I didn’t want him anywhere near my mother.

  Still, I wasn’t taking any chances. The entire time Edgar had been in the wash, I’d been plotting. Now that he was back in my room, I worked fast. I wrapped a skipping rope around the teddy bear, pinning its arms to its sides. I wound duct tape around his snout, feeling a little guilty. I knew it was silly, but what if Edgar needed to breathe? What if I was killing him? I saw fear in the teddy bear’s eyes and almost released him before I remembered the tacks in my feet. I had to be strong. When it came to Edgar, it was definitely a case of kill or be killed. Besides, he was just a teddy bear. It wasn’t like he was alive or anything. No living creature could survive over an hour in the washing machine and dryer.

  Once everything that could hurt me was either tied down or covered, I threw the teddy bear into a pillowcase, which I knotted at the top. Then I grabbed my dad’s big metal toolbox, which was so heavy I could barely lift it. I’d emptied the tools into a drawer in the garage while Edgar was having his bath. The toolbox was perfect, because it had a lock.

  I stuffed Edgar into the bottom, squeezing and pushing his repulsively soft body until it fit. Sliding the two metal trays into place over him, I slammed the toolbox shut and locked it. I put the key on a piece of twine and tied the twine around my neck like a necklace, tucking the key under my shirt. I wasn’t taking any chances. Even if Michael knew where to look, there was no way he’d be able to rescue Edgar without my noticing.

  I was safe. For that night at least.

  I woke up gasping for air. The room flooded with light. I rolled over on my side, coughing and choking. My throat burned.

  “Josh, are you all right? What’s wrong?”

  I could feel my mother’s hands on my shoulders and hear the fear in her voice. I couldn’t stop coughing, and I couldn’t get enough air.

  “I can’t breathe,” I managed to wheeze. All I knew was that I’d woken up feeling like something was strangling me. I’d tried to inhale, but nothing happened. My hands had flown up to my throat, where they scrabbled at the plastic cord that was embedded deep in my skin, but I couldn’t get it loose. Pinpricks of light exploded in the darkness in front of my eyes, and I knew I was going to die. With my last bit of strength, I punched and kicked as hard as I could, and suddenly the pressure on my throat eased. That’s when I screamed.

  “Oh my God—what happened to your neck? What on earth?” Mom lifted something from my bed. Now that I was somewhat accustomed to the light, I could see what she was holding.

  My blood ran cold.

  It was my skipping rope, the rope I’d tied around Edgar.

  Edgar, who was now resting on my pillow, grinning, his snout slightly sticky from the duct tape.

  I spent the rest of the night on the couch.

  Sean’s eyes were as big as baseballs when he saw my neck. “What in the bloody blazes of ass happened to you?”

  I wanted to tell him, but Mom was nearby. I couldn’t see her, but I could feel her presence. She’d been hovering over me since last night. She too wanted to know what had happened, but I couldn’t tell her the truth—she’d think I was crazy. The last time I was honest with her, she’d made me see Dr. Harvey.

  I shook my head slightly to let him know I couldn’t talk. Sean understood immediately, and after scanning the living room to make sure the coast was clear, he mouthed, “The bear?”

  I tilted my head toward the duffel bag that rested on the couch. It had been my dad’s, an old bag that he’d used to carry camping gear. I didn’t think anyone would miss it, but I was running out of bags. Hopefully this would be the last one I’d waste on Edgar.

  “Mom! We’re leaving now,” I yelled, trying to make it seem like I actually believed she wasn’t around the corner, listening. Sure enough, she was instantly in the room with us.

  “I’m not sure it’s such a good idea to go out today, Josh. You’re hurt.”

  “I’m fine, Mom,” I said, putting on a big show of acting embarrassed in front of Sean. Don’t baby me, my eyes pleaded. My throat was a bit sore, and my voice sounded funny, but otherwise it was like nothing had happened. As long as you ignored the ugly purple marks on my neck.

  “Where are you planning to go?” Her eyes flicked from my face to Sean’s. Sean widened his eyes and tried his best to appear innocent, as always.

  “The lake,” I said, as if it were obvious.

  “The lake again? Weren’t you just there?”

  “We like the lake, Mrs. Leary,” Sean said.

  “Yeah, we like the lake, Mom.”

  Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Are you sure you’re going to the lake? Michael said he saw you near the Industrial Park, and that’s nowhere near it.”

  For a moment, my mind went blank. I had absolutely no idea what to tell her, but thankfully Sean piped up. “It was the storm, Mrs. Leary. When it started raining, we decided to go to my friend’s place instead.”

  Mom’s forehead creased in confusion. “What storm? There was no storm that day.”

  Sean and I stared at each other in surprise. “You didn’t hear it? All the thunder and lightning?” I asked.

  “It was pouring, Mrs. Leary,” Sean added.

  “Well, it wasn’t raining here,” Mom said, crossing her arms. I could tell by her expression that she was having a hard time believing us, but why would we lie about a storm? “You know I don’t like you riding in the
rain, Josh. If this storm was so bad, why didn’t you come straight home?”

  “My friend’s place was closer,” Sean said.

  The three of us were silent a minute while Mom studied our faces for signs of deception. Finally, she sighed. “All right, you can go to the lake. But I want you to actually go to the lake—nowhere else. And I want you home by dinner, no excuses. Okay?”

  Sean broke into a huge, reassuring grin. “I’ll make sure of it, Mrs. Leary,” he promised, and my mother couldn’t help but smile in return. Sean had that effect on parents, especially mothers.

  A great wave of relief washed over me. If Sean felt confident enough to promise my mother that we’d be back by dinner, that meant his plan wouldn’t take very long. Before the day was over, I’d be rid of Edgar again.

  I hoped.

  Chapter Eleven

  This time we’d come prepared. Though there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, we’d both worn our rain jackets. Sean had his father’s pocketknife tucked into his jeans in case there were more snakes, but we needn’t have worried. The ride to the lake was uneventful. I’d stuffed the duffel bag in my bike basket, but the bear never moved. Maybe he was tired from trying to kill me the night before. Whatever the reason, it was a good sign.

  A blond teenager was skipping stones across the water when we arrived. As soon as he heard us coming, he stalked toward us with a scowl on his face.

  “Where have you been?” he snarled. “You told me you were going to be here half an hour ago.”

  My hands tightened on my handlebars as I prepared to hightail it out of there. The kid seemed like trouble. But Sean wasn’t concerned.

  “Sorry, man,” he said with a shrug. “We got held up.”

  The teenager glanced at me, and his eyes widened. “What the hell happened to you?”

  “His T-shirt was too tight,” Sean said before I could open my mouth. “What do you care?”

  The guy continued to look me over as if he was afraid I might attack. Then he sneered. “I want to get out of here, okay? I’ve got better things to do. Have you got it?”

  Sean lowered his bike to the ground and walked over to the kid, digging in his pockets as he went. I was shocked when he withdrew a handful of crumpled bills—more money than I’d seen in my life—and thrust it at the stranger, who counted it carefully.

  “Okay,” he said when he was satisfied. “Where is it?”

  “Can you give us a couple of minutes? Just a couple. It’s not quite ready.”

  “Okay,” the kid said, clearly exasperated with my friend. “But hurry up. I don’t have all day.”

  Sean seized the duffel bag from my basket. “Come on,” he said. “We don’t have much time.”

  As I followed him, my mind was flooded with questions. Who was the kid? What was the money for? What was Sean’s plan? But I could tell my friend wasn’t in the mood for talking. He threw the bag down by a pile of stones and zipped it open. I flinched, but Edgar was still wrapped in one of my old T-shirts. He looked like a bunch of laundry.

  Sean threw stones into the bag as fast as he could. “Take the biggest ones that’ll fit. We gotta make sure this monkey ass-loving mofo sinks.”

  I grabbed the largest stones I could handle and tossed them into the bag. Within a couple of minutes, the duffel was so full that we could barely zip it back up. Edgar was completely covered with rocks. It took both of us to lug the bag to the teenager, who stood there smirking at us.

  “Whatcha got there, a body?”

  “Our deal was no questions.” Sean panted, dropping the bag at the boy’s feet. He seemed as exhausted as I felt. There’d been no time to recover from the other day’s adventure. If this one didn’t work, we were screwed.

  The kid pouted. “I have a right to know what I’m taking. I don’t want to be involved in anything illegal.”

  “It’s not illegal. Just some old stuff of his stepfather’s,” Sean said, gesturing at me. I glared back as the teenager gave me another cold once-over.

  “Your stepfather do that to you?” he asked, pointing to my neck. I nodded. Maybe this guy would be more willing to help us if he knew what kind of man my stepfather was.

  The teen turned his attention back to Sean, the threat clear in his voice. “If this guy comes after you, I don’t want my name mentioned, okay? I want no part of this.”

  “What do we seem like, rats? We’re not going to say anything.” Sean held the older kid’s gaze bravely, but when the teenager finally picked up the duffel bag, my friend’s shoulders sagged with relief. I was pleased to see the older kid could hardly lift it.

  “Jesus Christ! This is overkill, isn’t it?”

  For a minute, I was terrified he would refuse to take it, but he hefted the bag in his arms, muttering something about sinking and how he would make sure Sean paid for it.

  He walked toward the water with the bag. We followed close behind. Once we’d cleared the trees, I spotted something I hadn’t noticed when we’d first arrived. Sitting on the grass was a bright red canoe. The teenager tossed the bag in the boat, and I got chills when I heard the hollow thunk.

  “Can I get a little help here?” he said, and we hurried to the back of the canoe, pushing it across the grass to the banks of the lake. Once the boat’s nose was in the water, the teenager took a paddle out of the canoe and climbed inside. Sweat trickled down my spine as I waited to see what would happen.

  The teenager winked at Sean, smiling for the first time. “Pleasure doing business with you, Barry.” He pushed off, his tan arms guiding the paddle smoothly through the water. Sean and I stood on the banks of the lake and watched in horrified fascination.

  “We shouldn’t let him take Edgar, Sean.” I whispered, though the kid was too far away to hear us by now. “What if something happens to him?”

  “It couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Trust me. Will’s a scumbag.”

  “But what’s he doing? What’s the plan?”

  “He’s taking him to the deepest part of the lake. Even if Edgar can swim, he’s not coming back from that. That bear’s days are over.” He pointed at my neck. “I wish I could say the same for your stepfather, but you heard the kid—no illegal stuff.”

  “You know my stepfather didn’t do this.” I brought my hand self-consciously to my throat. Judging by the looks I was getting, the bruise must have darkened.

  “I know, but it’s his bear. And I think he gave it to you for a reason, you know?”

  The same thing had occurred to me many times. Michael had known exactly what he was doing.

  Will and his canoe were a bright speck in the distance now. He was making good time. Around us, families laughed and chatted, spreading blankets for picnics and playing games of touch football and Frisbee. It was a beautiful sunny day. There was no sign of impending doom, but I couldn’t take my eyes off Will—or the sky. Any moment now, it would happen. The clouds would open up and rain would pour down on us, soaking everyone to the skin. Or maybe Will’s boat would spring a leak. Something had to happen. It couldn’t be this easy.

  “Woo-hoo! I think he’s stopping!” Sean said, peering through a pair of G.I. Joe binoculars. “Yep, he’s got the bag. He’s tossing it over now.”

  “Is everything okay? The boat’s not sinking or anything?”

  He handed me the binoculars. “See for yourself.”

  It took me a second to adjust the focus. Sean was near-sighted but he’d never admit it. He said only nerds wore glasses. By the time I could see Will clearly, he was already on his way back. There was no sign of the duffel bag. “I can’t believe it,” I said, handing the binoculars back to Sean. I was expecting a lake monster to lurch out of the depths and devour Will, canoe and all.

  Sean brushed the dirt from his hands. “Well, that’s done. No need to wait around. What do you want to do now?”

  I looked back at the lake an
d the red canoe that was getting closer and closer. “Shouldn’t we wait for him?”

  “Nah. He’s got his money; we’re rid of the bear. What else is there to say?”

  “I don’t get it. Why was it so hard for us, and so easy for him?”

  Sean grinned at the crowd around us. A mother smiled back, unable to resist my friend’s charms. “Witnesses, my friend. It’s all about the witnesses.”

  It was true. Whenever Edgar had hurt me or destroyed stuff, no one was around. Sean had seen the worst of him during that terrifying trip to the landfill, but for the most part, Edgar only attacked when I was alone. There was no way he’d do anything to Will with all these people watching.

  “Thanks, Sean.”

  “Hey, no problem, buddy.” He slung an arm around my shoulders. “Let’s celebrate. How about a swim, followed by some ice cream?”

  It was much too soon to celebrate, but we didn’t know that yet.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Well, you’re home early.” My mom stood up from her flowerbed and smiled. I hadn’t seen her this happy in a long time. Maybe she could tell that Edgar was gone. It was like the shadow had lifted from our house. “The sun’s still out.”

  “You wanted me home for dinner.” With the way things had been lately, I only came home when she insisted. I would have much rather eaten dinner at Sean’s.

  “About that…what would you think of hotdogs?”

  “Hotdogs, really?” I felt like I’d won the lottery. Hotdogs were a special treat, especially after Michael had moved in with us. Since he’d started his diet, he shunned anything he considered “junk food”, and hotdogs were definitely on the list.

  “Do you want them with beans or with mac and cheese?”

  “Mac and cheese!” I cried, but I knew she was asking to tease me. I’d eat Kraft Macaroni and Cheese every night if I could.

  “Okay, on one condition.”

  I groaned, but just because it was expected of me. I knew whatever she wanted wouldn’t be so bad. When she was in a good mood, she was easy to please. “I should have known.”

 

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