Childhood Fears

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Childhood Fears Page 21

by L. L. Soares


  Thursday, July 28, 1966

  Steven found the third concession easily. The train yard spread out and away from the roundhouse. He turned at the dirt road and headed east. On his right sat the cornfields, and on his left a fence with a natural-gas insignia surrounded a grassy area. Rolling slowly down the dirt road, his instincts told him he found the right place. The corn on the south side stood a couple of feet high, and he could see the scarecrows in the field.

  Just past the fence on the north side, he saw a two-story house. The older home sported white clapboard siding and a wide front porch. The upper floor had two double windows facing the cornfield. He pulled into the driveway and shut off the car. Even though he only had Cathy’s stories to go on, this had to be the Millard homestead. He walked up the steps to the wide porch and knocked on the door.

  “He’s not home. He’s at work,” a voice called out from the other side of the road. Steven turned and saw a young man standing at the edge of the cornfield. Steven smiled and waved. Moving down the stairs, he walked across the grass toward the road.

  “Hello. Do you know when Robert will be home?” Steven hoped the name reference would confirm his location.

  “He’ll be home soon. Who are you?”

  “I’m a doctor. I’m here to talk to him about his daughter Cathy.”

  “Do you know her? Do you know where she is? Have you seen her?” The young man jumped into the ditch and pulled himself up the near side. He walked quickly toward Steven.

  “Cathy’s in the hospital. I haven’t met her myself, but I will be seeing her very soon. I just needed to talk to her father.”

  “Is she sick?”

  “No, she’s not really sick. Cathy needs to stay until we can find out why she is having delusions. When she’s better, she’ll come home”

  “What are delusions?”

  Steven realized this young man had to be Jimmy. “Are you Jimmy Lewiston?”

  “Cathy is my friend. I miss her. She’s been gone a long time. Can you make her come home?” Jimmy stood right in front of him and stared at the doctor.

  Steven felt unnerved by the boy’s intense stare. He needed to engage this young man. “Do you want to help her come home?”

  “How?”

  “Answer my questions. Can you do that?”

  Jimmy nodded. Walking over to his car, Steven grabbed the notebook from the passenger seat. He slowly walked back toward Jimmy and sat down on the grass. The old willow tree in the front yard provided shade, while he waited for Jimmy’s physical response. Steven had spent a lot of time with kids like Jimmy and understood their caution. He waited patiently, and after several minutes, the boy slowly sat beside him.

  “Jimmy, do you know anything about the scarecrows in your fields? Cathy seems to think they can hurt people and that they walk sometimes.”

  Jimmy became pale and jumped up quickly. “I can’t talk about that.” Jimmy started backing away. He suddenly turned and bolted across the street. He jumped into the ditch and pulled himself up the other side. He turned once, looked back, and then ran into the field.

  The doctor realized that questions about scarecrows created fear in someone besides Cathy.

  He enjoyed the breeze under the tree and slowly smoked a cigarette. The place reminded him of Illinois and his uncle’s farm. He loved the fresh smell in the air and the sound of birds everywhere. He decided to catch up on his notes while he waited for Robert. He wrote about the woman’s reaction at the fruit stand, the man with the gossip, and Jimmy.

  Putting his hands behind his head, he lay back under the huge tree. The grass felt cool and the trains chugged and shunted in the freight yard. He closed his eyes and almost dozed off. Steven sat up quickly when a vehicle pulled onto the gravel driveway. He stood up, brushed off his jeans, and walked quickly to Robert with his right hand extended.

  “Mr. Millard, I’m glad to finally meet you. I’m Dr. Steven Webster, Dr. Wagner’s associate.”

  Robert shook his hand and looked him up and down. This new doctor looked to be in his early forties, slim, sporting a full head of dark hair. His calm, professional attitude made Robert feel comfortable. “I’m surprised you drove all the way out here. What exactly did you want?”

  “Just taking in the countryside and getting a better idea of what Cathy talked about in her story.” Steven looked around and smiled. “It’s beautiful here. It reminds me of being a kid and dozing in the shade on hot afternoons.”

  Robert pointed to the porch. “We could sit up there instead of in the grass. It’s hot for July, but there’s always a nice breeze and plenty of shade.”

  They walked up the steps and found two old wooden chairs.

  “Can I get you something to drink? I just got off work and I’m going to grab a beer. I can get you one. They’re cold.”

  “Sure, that sounds good.”

  Robert opened two beers and came back out to find Steven standing on the porch with a basket of strawberries in each hand.

  “What’s this?”

  “I needed directions, and I stopped at one of the fruit stands and asked a bunch of questions. I had to buy something.”

  Robert handed him a beer and took a box of berries. “Eating strawberries and drinking beer. Why not?”

  They enjoyed the cool breeze and took in the view.

  A huge lilac bush at the west end of the porch hid most of the chain-link fence. On the other side of the driveway, Steven could see a garden thriving quite nicely and, behind the vegetables, a long, wide row of huge sunflowers. Some had blossomed, but most were just starting to open.

  “That’s an odd garden. The vegetables and sunflowers seem a strange mix.”

  “Leroy and Gladys grow vegetables and cultivate honey to sell at the market. They grow even more vegetables in my backyard. The sunflowers are for the bees. There are at least a dozen big hives over behind the house. When he grows sunflowers, the bees pretty well stay on his property. In fact, I don’t think the bees ever stung any of my kids.”

  “Nice people? Good neighbors?”

  “They are very nice people and great neighbors. I have no idea how old those two are. Leroy is tall and very thin and walks around dressed in all black with an old top hat on his head. Gladys wears long black dresses and one of those hats that tie with a ribbon under her chin. I think they’re Mormon or something like that.” Robert used his hands to describe the pair.

  “They sound like quite the couple.”

  “Clare used to talk to Gladys quite often. She’s very nice and very quiet. I always wave to Leroy, and we’ve talked a fair bit over the years. I like the old guy. He’s very intelligent.”

  “That must be the cornfield.” Steven stood to get a better idea of the size. He looked up and down the road, and cornfields lined the road on both sides.

  “That’s the one.”

  “Where you found the girls that morning?”

  Robert looked beyond the field. “I’ve thought about selling this house and going somewhere else. I hate looking at it. Yes, I found Cathy and Emily out there that morning. I’ll never ever forget that.”

  Steven realized he needed to change the subject. “Jimmy came here earlier, but he ran away when I asked him about the scarecrows.”

  “You can’t talk to Jimmy. He doesn’t understand what happened to his friend. When I drove in, you surprised me by being here. Usually Jimmy waits for me, to see if I bring Cathy home.”

  “He waited. I told him she had to stay at the hospital.”

  They each lit fresh cigarettes and sipped their beers.

  Robert dropped deep into thought. When he finally spoke, his frustration was obvious. “Jimmy always asks me where Cathy is and when she’s coming home. I talked to his father, but Jimmy’s just…Jimmy. I tell him the same thing every day, and he goes home and tells his father the same thing every day.�


  “That reminds me. The man at the fruit stand talked about a pond and a racetrack. He said Jimmy fell into the pond there and that caused his problems.”

  “You’re good at getting people to talk.” Robert finished his beer and then pointed to the cornfield. “The racetrack is on the other side of the cornfield, in the bush. It burned down fifty-some years ago. There’s a pond there.” He stood and looked across. “Stories of ghosts and treasure attracted kids like Jimmy and his brother to that old racetrack. Their belief in those stupid stories ruined Jimmy’s life.”

  A cool breeze swept across the porch. Robert went into the house and came back out with fresh beers. He sat back down and related the story of Jimmy’s accident to Steven.

  “Mr. Millard, do you mind if I ask you about Cathy’s story?”

  “Please call me Robert.” The man hesitated and finally nodded in agreement.

  “Okay, I’ll go grab the file. Please, I’m Steven.”

  Robert lit a cigarette.

  The doctor got up and walked to his car. Reaching through the window, he retrieved the file and his notepad. After only a couple questions, Steven realized Robert had heard Cathy’s statement many times, and took the blame for his daughter’s obsession with scarecrows. There was nothing new he could learn from this man.

  “Do you mind if I see her room and her window?”

  “Sure. Come on in and we can head upstairs. I’ve already spent hours standing at that window, watching scarecrows. You’ll see exactly what she could see.” Robert walked into the house. On his way up the stairs, he hesitated. “I need to open the windows up there anyway. It’ll be stifling otherwise.” Steven followed him to the second floor.

  The fields and the house proved fascinating. Cathy’s story somehow came to life. From the window, the field and the scarecrows filled his vision. Steven suddenly understood her childhood fears. The scarecrows masked a reality far more frightening to her, than they could ever be.

  Chapter Six

  September 1963

  Lowell and Jesse parked the old Pontiac alongside the building. They heard Jimmy talking to himself inside as they got out of the car. They walked through the side door of the barn. The younger brother sat at the table, rocking back and forth, talking very loud and pulling at his hair. At fifteen, Jimmy stood just shy of six feet with a strong, muscular build. Lowell, four years older, matched the boy’s height, but his build tended more toward a thin frame.

  “What’s the matter? What are you upset about now?” He grabbed his brother’s hands and stopped him from pulling his own hair. Jimmy looked up at Lowell.

  “They’re mad at me, and they won’t talk to me anymore.”

  “Jimmy, you can’t keep doing this. Dad’s going to put you away somewhere. Those scarecrows are not talking to you, because they can’t talk. They’ve never talked to you. It’s your imagination.” Lowell gritted his teeth and tried not to lose his temper.

  “I talk to them all the time. Sometimes, when I don’t do everything they want, they get mad at me.” Jimmy glared at Lowell.

  “No. That’s not true. They just stand there like scarecrows.” He couldn’t argue about this again. He turned away and shook his head.

  Jesse had no patience with Jimmy anyway, but she especially hated the talking-scarecrows routine. “He’s doing that crazy thing again. Can we just go now?”

  “We’ll go in a minute, Jess. If my dad hears him, he’ll put him away this time. He almost did the last time he carried on about those damn scarecrows.”

  “So what if he puts him away? He’s got no friends and he makes everybody nervous. Even your friends won’t come here anymore. No one cares, Lowell.”

  “I care, Jess, and if you plan to be with me, you better care too. He’s my brother, and he wouldn’t be nuts like this if I hadn’t taken him to that damn racetrack. I don’t want anything else to hurt him.”

  “Your dad is passed out by now anyway. It’s after midnight. We can leave and he’s safe for now. There is no one sober enough to put him away tonight.”

  “They’re coming, Lowell. What should I do?” Jimmy got up and paced around the barn. He kept looking around and shaking his hands.

  “Who’s coming? What are you talking about now?”

  “They’re coming and I have to help them or they’ll be really angry.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Lowell turned to his girlfriend, shrugged his shoulders and lifted his hands in frustration. “Come on, Jess. I guess we better just go. I’m not getting anywhere with him. Maybe you’re right and my dad should just put him in an institution.”

  “That’s not a good idea. We kinda need your brother.” Lowell spun around quickly and looked at Jimmy. He heard that voice before. He had come up to the barn door one night and heard his brother talking to himself in several different voices. He recognized this one from that night.

  “That’s not funny.” Lowell scowled at his brother and turned back to Jesse. She stood with her mouth open, eyes wide and staring.

  “What’s up with you? It’s just Jimmy doing his voices again.”

  Lowell never saw who or what hit him. He went down hard and the smash to his skull left him bleeding and unconscious.

  Jesse tried to scream as she backed away, but nothing came out. The rough rope came from behind her. It looped over her head and around her throat, cutting off her voice and her air. Her mouth dropped open and her eyes bugged out as the life squeezed out of her. Her body hit the floor beside Lowell.

  Jimmy picked up Jesse, put her over one shoulder, and walked out of the barn. Short and tiny, she didn’t weigh a hundred pounds. He made his way to the racetrack and dropped her body into the pond.

  When he got back to the barn, Lowell appeared awake but still lay on the floor. His head split, blood ran down his forehead and into his eyes. He blinked, but couldn’t focus. He tried to get his feet under him, and slid on the bloody straw.

  “I told you, we need your brother. But we don’t need you.” Lowell heard that same voice again. He struggled to get to his feet, and managed to pull up onto all fours when the hammer came down again.

  Jimmy took one of the burlap bags he used for scarecrow heads and pulled it over his brother’s head to absorb the blood. Slinging the body over his shoulder, he walked out to the pond for the second time. He placed the body on the ground and removed his own bloody shirt. He tied it to his brother’s belt. Lowell’s body quietly slid into the black water. Jimmy walked back to the barn. He threw clean straw over the bloodstained floor and sat down. Smiling, he slowly rocked back and forth. They would talk to him now. They were always happy after a kill or two.

  Wednesday, July 27, 1966

  Steven phoned Diane from his motel room later that evening. He had spoken to Robert and met Jimmy briefly. He had seen the house, Cathy’s window, and the cornfield. He had even seen the scarecrows, and they weren’t moving.

  “I know this sounds ridiculous, but I think we need to check out what Cathy may have seen and how she interpreted it. It’s possible she saw Emily’s killer, but doesn’t really know what she saw. She’s blaming the whole incident on scarecrows. When you see this place, you realize her eyes may have played tricks on her. She is adamant about her story. She believes her story is the truth.”

  “You know, Steven, the last thing I need from you is speculation. This little girl killed her friend and that is fact. You talk like you don’t believe she did it.”

  “I wanted to see the scene for myself. I’m just playing a hunch, I guess.”

  “I don’t care about your hunches. We’re medical professionals and you’re acting like a resident.”

  Steven stopped listening. He thought about other children he had worked with and how, when stressed, they changed reality to something they could handle. He knew Cathy had seen something. The scarecrows became her answ
er for things she couldn’t or wouldn’t explain.

  Wednesday, August 18, 1966

  Three weeks passed and Steven had gone back out to visit Robert several times. He met and talked casually to Cathy and became convinced she didn’t kill anyone.

  During the same period, Diane became more and more frustrated with the delays. Mrs. Keith approved use of only three of the tests. The rest awaited the opinion of another psychiatric professional.

  Although they had scheduled those three tests for the following week, Diane changed strategy. She spent all day reviewing her file and decided to employ extreme measures.

  Steven knocked on the open door and walked into the warm room. “Good evening, Diane. Did they approve any more tests or are there more hurdles?” She smiled, and Steven saw that strange look she got when she had some new plan in mind.

  “I know how to get this done quicker. I’ve gone through everything, and I can eliminate the testing completely and still get what we need. I’m going to get permission to hypnotize Cathy.”

  Steven shook his head. He couldn’t believe what he heard. He walked over to the sofa and sat down. “You want to hypnotize a seven-year-old girl? Diane, you can’t do that. It’s not considered safe and the results are questionable at best.”

  “I think we can decide how accurate and safe it is when we’ve completed the procedure.”

  “I’ve been skeptical about your methods at times, but you’ve never put a child at risk before. Do you honestly think I’ll go along with this? Hypnosis is serious stuff and not for children. I’ve worked with small children for a long time, and that procedure is unacceptable and considered quite dangerous.”

  “Steven, you need to remember who you work for. Go out and use your many charms to get her father’s permission for hypnosis.”

  “What if he refuses? Hell, what if I refuse?”

  “I still pay your wages and you’ll do what I tell you or you’re fired.”

  “Diane, I won’t pressure this man into anything. I wouldn’t even ask him to give permission for hypnosis. If you fire me, then the whole world will know about your failures. You ride high on your successes, but when things don’t work, you shove the patient off on someone else and let them take the blame.”

 

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