by Vivian Arend
Len agreed. “She deserves far better than me, but hell if I’ll let anybody else have her.”
“She deserves you, when you’re not being an asshole,” Clay corrected him. He gave Len a rough pat on his back before shoving him out the door.
Now he needed a little more luck. He phoned his sister and hoped she was in a forgiving mood as well. “Do you know where Janey is?” he asked.
“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t.” He could all but hear her anger snapping over the line. “Don’t know why I’d tell you anything about where she is.”
Len laid it on the line. “I want to get back together with her.”
Once again he got the silent treatment for long enough to make him sweat. Finally Katy came back online. “I swear if you hurt her again, I don’t care if you are my brother. I will hunt you down.”
“Take a number. A lot of people want my head on a stake.”
“Bastard.”
“Katy, I miss her so hard.”
“Awwww. You’re such a shithead it took you this long to figure it out. But fine, she’s working on a fence down on the four hundred block. I think she said she’d be there all week.”
“Thanks.”
“And, Len?” Katy warned. “I know it’s like pulling teeth for you to open that mouth of yours and say stuff, but you’ll have to do more than simply show up. It’s going to take a lot for her to trust you again.”
The warning had been expected, but he got the full impact of it when he pulled up in the back alley behind her truck.
Another man was holding a fence panel in place while she secured it, laughter ringing out between them. For one evil second a horrid slash of jealousy raced through Len as he walked rapidly toward them.
Janey glanced towards him, and the light went out of her eyes, her laughter dying away. “Len.”
The man turned as well. Brad Jons offered him a sour expression and stern face. “What’re you doing here?”
Len gestured. “Just wanted to talk to Janey for a minute.”
“She’s busy,” he snapped.
“It’s okay, Brad. Give me a minute.” Janey stepped toward the front of the truck, turning to face Len with her arms crossed over her chest. “What do you need?”
He wanted to say I need you, but it was too soon, and there was a huge lump in his throat. He was intensely aware of Brad refusing to leave to give them privacy.
And yet…in one way he’d rejected her in front of everyone. He would have to prove himself in front of everyone before this was all over. “I want to see you.”
Janey looked away, only her eyes weren’t focused on anything. “I’m right here. You can see me fine.”
“You know that’s not what I mean.”
“I don’t know what you mean a lot of the time,” she said quietly. She turned back, her dark eyes sad but determined. “If you don’t have anything specific you need from me, maybe you should leave.”
“Let me take you out for supper,” Len asked. “We need to talk.”
She shook her head. “I don’t think we have anything to talk about.”
She stepped away, back to the fence. Picking up her tools and going back to work.
Brad stared for another moment, as if double-checking to make sure Len didn’t plan to do anything foolish, and then he went back to work as well, stepping in and helping Janey adjust the angle on the next set of boards with an easy camaraderie.
Len paced back to his truck with a heavy step, and even heavier heart, and a hell of a lot more determination.
Okay. So it was going to take a little more effort to get things started. Janey had pursued him for years, constantly getting underfoot until she got under his skin. If it had worked for her, he could damn well take a lesson from her determination.
Operation Stalk Janey began in earnest.
It wasn’t his usual method, and Len felt awkward as all get out. But the idea of never having her in his arms again was unbearable.
His father had been right. The kind of pain it was to walk down the street and see Janey across the road from him, smiling with her friends, or even sitting quietly and knowing that he wasn’t welcome to go talk to her.
That was an even worse kind of agony.
Whatever it took. All of the energy he’d used to avoid her for years, all the strength he’d accessed in the other decisions in his life to resist relationships and resist connections— He took all of that and put it toward getting the one thing he could not live without any longer.
Janey.
If it meant he had to bare his soul, he’d do it. If it meant he had to beg for help from every one of his family and friends, he’d do that too.
And if it meant he had to give her everything within him so that she knew he wanted every bit of her…
He wasn’t going to stop. Ever.
She was being watched, and by who wasn’t a mystery, because no matter where she went, it seemed Len was somewhere in the area.
After that first day when he’d asked for a chance to talk, Janey had gone home and cried herself silly. She wanted so badly to say yes, but the hurt inside wouldn’t be erased by some well-meaning conversation.
She’d told the truth. She was worth more than he’d given her, and until he found some way to be completely upright and truthful, there wasn’t much point in starting another conversation.
Loud knocking sounded on the door of her apartment. She groaned as she got off the couch, all her muscles aching from the cleanup job she and Brad had done at the local Legion. She put her eye to the peephole, sighing as she spotted Mitch.
She pulled open the door. “I don’t want to jump to any conclusions.”
“I think you’re safe in jumping to a few.” Mitch grinned, pulling a bouquet of flowers out from behind his back and holding it out to her. “Len figured you’d either slam the door in his face or not open it in the first place. I got deputized to deliver these.”
“I’m telling Anna you’re giving flowers to other girls,” Janey teased.
Mitch’s eyes widened. “Oh, your sense of humour still lives.”
She shrugged. “You didn’t do anything that makes me want to stab you in the balls.”
He shifted involuntarily on his feet, presenting the bouquet again. “I’m very glad I didn’t. But in spite of my brother managing to be a fool, I really think he’s changed. And you should take these.”
It was too much. Janey shook her head. “I appreciate you stepping up for him, but flowers don’t make a difference here.”
His grin only got wider as he pulled them back to his chest. “And I said that’s what you would say. Thanks. You just won me twenty bucks.”
In spite of the tightness in her chest Janey laughed. “You’re terrible.”
“It’s worse than you think. Before I came over here, I made Len agree to do all my dump runs for the next three months.” Mitch shifted his shoulders. “Look. I screwed up big-time with Anna, thinking I knew what was best for the two of us. And the best thing she ever did was forgive me for being stupid, before proving to me how good we were together. I hope you give Len another chance.”
She held on to the door tightly. “You can take the flowers to Anna.”
He nodded slowly, looking as if he wanted to say more, but then he turned and walked away, the broad width of his shoulders stretching his leather jacket, the oh-so-familiar Thompson step taking him down the hall. He could’ve been Len’s twin. A shot of sadness hit.
Along with a teeny, tiny ray of hope.
Janey knew the Thompson family. She knew exactly how stubborn the boys all were, and the only way Mitch would’ve shown up at her door was for Len to have talked long and hard. It was a move in the right direction. Or at least a step—because talking was a whole lot better than staying silent.
Mitch outside her door was only the start.
After the flowers came the presents. Little gift bags hanging on her truck antenna and on the doorknob of her apartment. Small candies and scente
d candles. A book of puns.
A distinctly pink bag showed up, hanging off the fence boards when she and Brad came back from a coffee break. Janey glanced up and down the back alleyway, but no one was there.
Brad looked torn between amusement and concern. “If you want me to tell him to get lost, I will.” He got the bag off the fence, slowly holding it out toward her. “Or you can tell me to get lost if I’m out of line.”
She took the bag, clutching it tightly as she debated what to do. “It’s fine.”
He waited then asked, “Does it’s fine mean you guys are together again?”
“No, nothing like that.” She peeked inside to discover a small notebook with a pen, tucked in next to a scented candle.
She slipped the package onto the seat of her truck and got back to work, but the entire afternoon, curiosity burned a hole in her brain.
It wasn’t until she got home that she discovered the notebook wasn’t blank. She turned to the first page to find Len had written a single line.
You wore a blue dress to your graduation.
She paused, thinking back. Holy cow, he was right.
She flipped through the pages to see what else he’d written inside. More notes, in his barely discernible handwriting.
You dyed your hair green once. I wanted to call you a leprechaun, but didn’t want you to be upset.
You take relish and ketchup on your hamburger, but no mustard.
She read through them slowly, the tightness in her chest moving into her throat as her eyes grew wet with frustration and fear.
Why did he have to go and be so adorable after she’d decided she didn’t want to have anything to do with him? She put the notebook down without finishing, clicking on the television and trying to lose herself in a mindless sitcom.
She missed him so much every part of her hurt. Being torn apart had only shown exactly how much time with him had meant. And his attempts now seemed to be earnest.
But she wasn’t accepting anything but total surrender. She still wanted him to be…him, it wasn’t that. But she needed everything if she was going to offer him a second chance.
She glanced at the small, very pink notebook, picturing him going into the dollar store to pick it up, and caught herself smiling.
It was so hard to trust, but if she didn’t try, she’d regret it.
Katy was right. Some things were worth fighting for, and her happiness was definitely one of them. As stupid, and as stubborn, and as silent as Len Thompson could be, she’d never been happier than in his arms.
She might be willing to take the chance to get hurt if it meant she got to bask in his fire.
Chapter Fifteen
The email arrived first, followed by the message on her phone. Len trying to set up a date with her for that upcoming Saturday night.
She played back the message just to hear his voice. And then she read the email and replayed the message, and cursed herself for being a fool.
It was dangerous territory, but she had to take the chance. She sent back a note, suggesting he call to make the arrangements.
Her phone rang about twenty seconds later.
“Hey.”
“Hi, Janey. I’ve missed you.”
She just about spit in surprise, his admission was so unexpected. “It’s good to hear you,” was as far as she was willing to give at this moment.
“I don’t have anything fancy planned,” Len confessed. “I want to go somewhere we can talk in private, but I want you to feel comfortable. Not trying to push you too hard, but what I have to say isn’t the kind of thing to discuss in a restaurant.”
She agreed completely, but the fact he’d thought that through and shared his reasons continued to shock her. “You want to go for a walk?”
“Yeah.” He hesitated as if there was a lot more he wanted to say, but the only thing he added was when he’d pick her up. Janey sat and stared at the phone in her hand for the longest time, trembling with hope this would somehow work.
The days until their date seemed endless. Time had never passed so slowly before in her life. Not even when she was little, waiting for Christmas, or her birthday, or any other far off, life changing event.
As if fate was determined to drag out every agonizing second.
She was waiting for him outside the apartment house when he drove up. She didn’t get a chance to open the door before he was out of the driver side and around, standing eagerly at her side, and yet adorably awkward as he seemed not to know where to put his hands.
“You look great,” he said.
His eyes said a whole lot more. He couldn’t stop looking at her as if he’d been starving, and she was the only source of sustenance on the planet.
Len wore a faded pair of jeans, another one of his T-shirts stretched to the limit over his muscular chest. Janey swallowed hard to stop the moisture in her mouth from escaping and making her look like a drooling fool.
“Thanks.”
He caught her fingers in his to help her into the truck, and she was weak enough to not even protest that she could get in on her own. She was already seated when she finally realized which truck he had brought.
“Oh, God, you got it done.” She ran a hand over the smooth leather seat and leaned forward to admire the old-fashioned dashboard.
“This past week,” Len said. He handed her the keys. “Slide over and drive.”
Janey didn’t hesitate. She moved as he crawled in to take her place on the passenger seat. But just because she reacted instantly didn’t mean she wasn’t aware of how big his offer was.
The smile she offered him was very real. “I promise to be really careful with her.”
He nodded, looking forward as he did up his seatbelt. Then he seemed to check for a second, and turned to face her. “You’re always careful with the things that are important to me. I trust you.”
Oh, well. An instant rush of emotion hit at his words. Janey paused in the middle of putting the key to the ignition. “Are you going to keep surprising me all night long?”
“Are you good surprised or bad surprised? Because that will make a difference how I answer,” he drawled softly.
She took a deep breath. “Good surprised, so far.”
He nodded and sat back and stared ahead at the street.
This time it didn’t seem as if he was ignoring her. More as if he was giving her some space to figure out where everything was and not feel pressure as she started the engine and pulled into the traffic.
A little stiff in the suspension, but Janey was enjoying herself too much to complain.
When she drove the truck into the parking lot nearby the bonfire pit, it was Len’s turn to give her a surprised glance.
She held the keys to him. “I haven’t been back here since the start of summer, and I kind of missed most of the bonfire that night. Do you mind?”
Len shook his head. He pulled a box of matches from the glove box. “Give me a couple minutes and I’ll get a fire going.” He gestured to the back of the truck. “Let me grab the box I’ve got back there.”
Janey followed him, sitting on the bench as he fiddled with kindling and newspaper, getting a flame going before he leaned back. He eyed the bench across from her, and the one to her side.
“I can’t believe how awkward this is.” Janey adjusted her position to leave room for him beside her, facing him as he settled his bulk within touching distance, but not too close. “We’ve been around each other for years, and we’ve been a whole lot more than friends. We should be able to handle this.”
Len reached slowly for her hands, as if hesitant to touch her without permission. “Just because we’ve known each other for a long time doesn’t mean I can’t screw up. I don’t want to add any more mistakes to my ledger.”
His fingers tangled in hers, his thumb rubbing slowly over the back of her knuckles.
“I can handle awkward. You just need…”
But there was no just about it. It was so much she needed, as long as he
was willing to give.
“I’ve always liked you,” Len confessed. “I mean, when you were little it was more about enjoying how much you annoyed my brothers, and how much Katy loved you. And when you got older, not only an annoying teenager, I always thought it was like watching happiness in motion every time you stepped into a room.”
Janey let her breath out slowly. “Wow. You’re starting right in on the hard-hitting stuff, aren’t you?”
He turned to look at the flames trickling around the log in the bonfire pit. “I don’t quite know what I need to do to make everything right. I want to show you even though I made a mistake, I intend to fix it.”
She nodded slowly before realizing he couldn’t see her. Then, the momentary pause was fine because it gave her a chance to put some order to the questions she wanted answers to. Only when she started thinking about them, they all twirled in a circle and refused to settle in any logical order.
Why did he buy her house? Why had he started going out with her, or why had he resisted going out with her in the first place?
“Len, it’s not as much a matter of fixing anything. It’s more like us both knowing what’s important to us, because if those things don’t line up, there’s no use in us being together.”
“You’re important to me,” he insisted. His gaze met hers, dark brown catching hold of her as he refused to look away. “I was scared to let you in. To put anyone into my life who I might lose.”
A flicker of understanding struck. “Your mom?”
Len swallowed, then nodded. “When she was in the hospital, those last days, we took turns making sure she was never alone. Not usually Troy or Katy, but me and the older boys. I didn’t have a lot of other things going on, so I went after school. My dad would come after supper, and we’d sit with her and talk. Maybe play a little cards. But I watched her slowly fade away.”
“It must’ve been terrible.” She’d been old enough to remember the sadness in the Thompson household, and how Katy decided she would take over all the jobs that her mom couldn’t do anymore.