White Wings

by Aimee Jessica Russ

  “Zeke, I can’t,” she said, stepping away slowly.

  She wanted to stay in his grasp but she knew she loved Mace.

  “So he did fall for you after all. Took his time,” Zeke said, running his hand through his black hair.

  “I haven’t seen him in four days. Can you have a look for him?” Millie asked.

  “He will definitely be in Hell. It takes awhile for an Angel to get used to Hell.”

  “Will you look?” Millie asked again.

  “You can’t ask me to do that, Millie,” he said, stepping closer to her. “He’s in love with you. I’m in love with you. I want to fight for you, but I don’t want to make you upset.”

  Millie stared at him.

  “Unless you want me to fight for you.”

  Millie just kept staring. She had no clue what to do. She did have feelings for Zeke, but the feelings for Mace were stronger.

  “I don’t like seeing you angry or upset. I want to see you happy, and if that means I step aside for Mace . . .”

  “Zeke,” she said, interrupting him, “Mace has fallen for me. He wants to be with me and I want to be with him. I do have feelings for you, but I can’t do this.” She stepped further away.

  His face fell. He loved Millie. He wanted to hold her in his arms every moment he could. He wanted to feel her skin against his. He yearned for her kiss.

  “I’m sorry, but that’s my decision.” Millie didn’t want to hurt him, but this was the only way.

  “Fine,” Zeke said, nodding. “Just remember that I love you and I will always be here for you.”

  Millie could feel tears well up in her eyes. She was sick of crying, but she felt horrible for hurting Zeke.

  “Whatever you need, besides Mace, I will get it for you. I will help you with anything you ask for. Just know that you have me,” he said, walking over to her. He pressed his hands on her cheeks.

  “I will miss you,” he said, kissing her forehead. “I will always love you no matter what.” He then kissed her cheek.

  She felt a tear flow down her cheek. He wiped it off with his finger. Millie closed her eyes. She felt like collapsing with guilt. She wanted to embrace Zeke, but she loved Mace. She opened her eyes to say good-bye to Zeke, but he had already gone.

  * * * * *

  Another four days had passed. No Mace. No Zeke. Millie was getting worried. She was scared that Mace was never going to come back. She was afraid that he was in pain and that he blamed her. She hoped that he hadn’t forgotten about her.

  Millie had a shower, slipped on a pink nightie, and lay in bed. Her eyes were not tired, but it was nearly midnight. She felt so bad for hurting Zeke. He had confessed how much he cared about her, and she did nothing in return. She rolled over in frustration and groaned into her pillow until she heard something in her bedroom. She turned on her bedside lamp. Mace was standing in front of her window. She stopped thinking. She pulled the bed sheets off her and slowly walked to the end of her bed.

  “Mace?” she said, shocked that he was actually standing in her bedroom again.

  His skin was no longer milky. It was pale. His crystal-blue eyes were darker. The green flecks had disappeared. From top to bottom, he was wearing all black: long, black pants with a buttoned up short-sleeve shirt. Millie melted when she saw that the top buttons were undone.

  Millie breathed in and out, and ran to him. She wound her arms around him tightly. He held one hand on her head and the other on her back. He smelt beautiful, but his scent had a hint of mould to it now. His body was hot against hers--no more perfectly warm.

  “I love you,” he said to her.

  “I love you.”

  He grabbed her cheeks and pressed his lip to hers. The kiss was solid and loving. They pressed harder and harder until it hurt. He picked Millie up. Her legs were wrapped around his waist. He started walking towards the bed. He gently laid her on the bed. He pressed his body on top of hers.

  “I’ve missed you,” she spoke.

  “You have no idea how much I have missed you,” he said, kissing her neck.

  She had longed for his lips to kiss her again. A loud sigh came from her mouth. Her fingers unbuttoned his shirt, and she rubbed her hands up and down his chest and abs. He slid his shirt off. He started to take off her nightie but he stopped. He looked at Millie.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked.

  “I’m sure,” Millie said, panting.

  “Are you sure you want to make love to a Fallen?”

  Her mind instantly went to Zeke. She didn't think of Mace being a Fallen. It still hadn't sunk in. She squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them again.

  “I know I feel and look different.”

  “I know but you still have your dark brown hair and, of course, your good looks,” she said with a smile.

  She stretched up and kissed him. He took off her nightie slowly, his lips kissing a line from her neck down to her stomach. She unbuttoned his pants and slid them off. Her lips kissed his neck as his body pushed harder against her. A moan escaped his mouth as his lips reached Millie’s again. Millie dug her hands into his muscled back. Her hands felt something on his back. She didn’t know what it was, so she ignored it. She held onto his muscles. All she could think about was Mace. Zeke had escaped her mind. She thought about Mace’s perfect body on top of hers. She thought about the love that they shared together. Her legs wrapped around his waist. She moaned frequently as Mace thrust his body against hers.

  * * * * *

  Millie woke naked in Mace’s arms. His darkened eyes were staring at her.

  “What?” she asked, rubbing her eyes.

  “I just can’t believe I have you back.”

  “I can’t believe you’re actually in my arms. I thought I was never going to see you again.”

  “It was agonising being away from you. I couldn’t handle it anymore.”

  Millie took a deep breath. “I’m sorry that I made you fall. I know you love God very much.”

  “I wouldn’t have it any other way,” he said, kissing her lips.

  “What happened?” She swallowed nervously. “In Hell?”

  “A powerful Fallen named Condor helped me understand the ways of the Fallen. He told me stories about them. It was kind of like a school for the newly Fallen, really. He showed me around Hell. There is no golden light. It is dark. There are fires everywhere. Smoke always lingers in the air, but if there’s not smoke, it smells old, dusty, or mouldy. Many souls were being tortured. It is the most evil place.”

  Millie remembered back when she was in Hell. She had heard a terrifying scream. It was a soul in torture, she thought.

  “I’m sorry that you had to go there. I can’t imagine you down there,” he said, rubbing her cheek.

  “It’s not your fault.” She held onto his hand. “I’m glad you’re back.”

  “I’m more than glad.” He kissed her lips with such a force that it made Millie feel dazed. “Happy belated birthday,” he said, pulling away.

  “Was going to Heaven my present?” she asked with a smart smile.

  “Part of it.” He kissed her again. “The other part was me falling for you.”

  “That’s a pretty good present.”

  “Why, thank you,” he said with his old familiar sexy half-smile. “But I did get you something else.”

  He jumped out of bed and searched through his pants’ pocket. He pulled out a small box. Millie’s heart skipped a beat. It looked like a box for a wedding ring. It couldn’t be. He crawled on the bed towards Millie. She sat up.

  “Happy birthday,” he said, opening the box up.

  It was a slender gold ring. Mace got it out of the box and placed it on her right hand. He slid it gently on the finger next to her pinky. She held her hand up and smiled. “I love it.” She leaped onto Mace and hugged him.

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  “Did you purposely make it for that finger?” she asked, thinking that if it was on the other hand, it would
have been an engagement ring. His sexy half-smile returned.

  “Maybe it does have a purpose being on that finger, but if I wanted to propose to you, the ring would definitely be bigger.”

  “Oh, thank goodness,” she said with a laugh.

  She kissed him, and they both laughed in each other’s arms.

  * * * * *

  “Can I ask you a question?” Millie asked at the dinner table.

  Mace had made a feast for them to share. He wanted to make up for the fact that he hadn’t been around especially for her birthday.

  “Sure, beautiful.”

  “Do you want to be with me forever?”

  “Until the day you die.”

  “But I am one year younger than you right now.”

  “Not really,” he said with his sexy half-smile.

  “I mean, your body is eighteen, and next year I will be the same age as you, and after that I’ll always be older.”

  “It wouldn’t bother me at all.”

  “Why would you want me when I’m fifty and wrinkly and going through menopause?”

  Mace laughed. “I don’t care if you’re a hundred. I still would want to be with you.”

  “But why?”

  Mace hopped off his chair and walked over to Millie. He grabbed her hand and she stood up.

  “I love you, Millie. I will love you when you’re thirty. I will love you when you’re eighty. I want to spend all my time with you. You have a short life, and I want to be there through it all.”

  “I just don’t get it.”

  He kissed her cheek. “I fell for you, Millie. Don’t you understand that?”

  “Of course, I do.”

  “I will still think you’re the most beautiful person I have ever seen even when you’re wrinkly and going through menopause.”

  Millie smiled. “You’re sure?”

  “Positive,” he said, pulling her hips towards his.

  They kissed.

  “But won’t it be a bit weird if an eighteen-year-old boy is kissing a seventy-year-old lady in the middle of the street?”

  “Let them talk.”

  “And trying to tell my parents that I don’t want to get married or ever have kids.”

  “We can get married, Millie. There is no Fallen law against it, unlike in Heaven where you are forbidden to even think about marriage or to have children with a human. And as for the kids, we can have them, but they would be half-Fallen.”

  “Are you saying you want kids?” Millie asked, tilting her head.

  “Nothing is out of the question.”

  Mace stroked Millie’s hair. Millie smiled at him.

  “Let’s eat,” Mace said, kissing her cheek.

  * * * * *

  They lay in bed facing each other. Their love filled up the dead dark house. It felt like home again. She wasn’t alone anymore and was never going to be alone again. Her heart had fully healed. Mace was back and he wasn’t going anywhere. She remembered feeling something on his back last night. She reached over and slid her hand up and down his back. There were two hard and bumpy straight lines there.

  “Scars,” he said.

  “From your wings?” she asked.

  “They ripped them out. It was painful.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. You got me through all the pain.”

  Millie smiled. “Now we both have scars,” she said, trying to be funny. She rubbed his fingers over her scar.

  “Do you think it’s ugly?” Millie asked.

  “No. Everything about you is beautiful,” he said, rolling over.

  Millie saw his scars. They looked deep and fresh. The scars were where the two, thin, red lines used to be when he retracted his wings back into his skin.

  “They will heal, just like your scar. But they will always be there as a reminder that I have fallen from grace.”

  “You still are graceful to me.”

  Mace rolled back over. Millie placed her head on his chest. Her ear burned, but the sensation slowly went away.

  “I love you,” Mace said, twining her hair in his hands.

  “I love you,” Millie said, tracing his stomach with her fingertips.

  Twenty-Four

  With Love

  It was nearing the end of summer break. Ashley and Wendy had returned from their holiday, bearing gifts. Millie hadn’t felt that close to her parents in a long time. Wendy noticed something different in Mace, but she didn’t say anything. Millie always chuckled when they still called him Benjamin.

  Mace was with her mostly every day. Some days he had to return to Hell, which he rarely talked about. Millie had finally called up Jonathan and said sorry for not calling sooner. Wendy wanted Millie to spend time with friends, so Jonathan and Millie hung out once every so often. She still couldn’t bear hanging out with Sasha or Michelle. The guilt still lingered in her heart.

  Ashley began to ask questions about Mace’s parents’ job because he went to visit a friend in the hospital and he had asked about Mace’s parents, but no one knew them. Mace said they had moved away again. He moved with them for a couple of weeks, but he couldn’t bear being without Millie, so he moved back by himself. Wendy seemed impressed. They started to have family meals again very often. The colour had returned to Millie’s skin. Her cheeks went rosy often because of how much fun she was having.

  Ashley had bought a new phone for Millie as a back-to-school gift. She had missed having a phone since she had lost hers, but the new phone rarely rang. Millie finally got her driving license. Wendy yelled at Millie every time they drove together. Ashley, on the other hand, let Millie do what she wanted. She felt more comfortable with Ashley teaching her to drive.

  Millie went to the mall to buy school supplies for her last year at school. She was glad to get it over with--too many memories remained there. Mace was going to go with her, but he had to return to Hell that afternoon, so she had to buy supplies for him as well. He didn’t need to return to school because he was not her Protector anymore, but Mace wanted to be with her as much as he could. She walked around the mall buying supplies with her father’s credit card. She walked past many clothes and shoes stores, tempted to go in. Finally, she passed one shoe shop door and stopped. There she saw a pair of red stilettos with a black, love heart pattern on the heel. She ran into the shop and immediately bought a pair.

  “My dad’s going to kill me,” she muttered to herself walking out of the shop. “It will teach him to lend his credit card to a seventeen-year-old female.”

  She sat down to have lemonade and a cheese melt. While she was waiting for the food, she took off the ring that Mace had given her and admired it. She smiled. Then she noticed something inside the ring. She pulled it closer to her eyes. There was an engraving. It said: Millie, My Heart Is Yours Forever, Mace. She squealed out loud and then looked around to see if anyone was staring at her.

  “I can’t believe he never told me,” she said, talking to herself.

  Millie placed the ring back on her hand as the cheese melt and lemonade came. “Thank you,” she said to the waitress.

  She wrapped her hand around the silver heart around her neck. She hadn’t seen Zeke since that last time in her bedroom. This was the first time since then that she had worn the necklace. She felt guilty for wearing gifts from Mace and Zeke at the same time, but she missed Zeke.

  She walked out of the mall happy, having ticked everything off her list to buy. She dumped the heavy packages in the trunk of her mum’s small, red car. She couldn’t wait to wear her heels with an outfit.

  “Maybe I should have bought an outfit to go with them,” she said, giggling to herself.

  She revved up the car and drove out of the parking lot. She decided to take the backstreets home. She thought the main street would be busy with everyone going to the lake on this sweltering day. She was bursting to get home and put on her new shoes.

  She was nearly to her house when she suddenly saw a woman standing in front of her car. Her ble
ach blonde hair blazed in the sun. Millie gasped. It was Vania. Vania punched her hand into the front of the car. The car flipped and went flying in the air. Millie screamed. With a crash, the car landed upside down. Millie hit her head against the car door. Her head throbbed with pain; it was unbearable. She touched her wound. Blood gushed out. She saw the broken glass lying underneath her.

  She looked up and saw Vania coming towards her. She pressed the seat belt buckle a few times until it finally gave way and she fell onto the glass. She felt it scrape along her head and back. She rolled over and felt the glass go into her hands. She screeched with pain. Vania grabbed her by the hair and dragged her out of the car. The broken window scratched the back of her legs. Her head was aching, but her mind was still running a million miles an hour. She was terrified of what Vania was going to do with her.

  Vania threw her in the air. When she fell back to the Earth, she hit the road and rolled a few times. She looked back at her and saw a clump of her hair in Vania’s palm. She stumbled to her feet and started to run until Vania suddenly appeared in front of her.

  “Where do you think you are going?” she asked with a grin.

  Millie turned around and tried to run the other way, but Vania’s hand caught her elbow and she threw her to the ground. Tears filled Millie’s eyes. Her head felt like it was on fire. Blood rushed into one of her eyes; it stung and became blurry. Vania placed her foot on her chest and pressed down hard. Millie heard cracks, and she shrieked with pain. It became harder to breathe. Her cheeks flushed red, and tears flowed down her face.

  All she could think about was Mace. She thought about how he saved her that first time in the forest. She thought about how they met the first time in school. She remembered them dancing in the sky on prom night. She wanted to tell Mace that she loved him first more often. Most of the time, he always said it before she had a chance to.

  “I will enjoy this, you worthless human, but you might not,” Vania said, grabbing her by the feet.

  She flung her into a nearby cactus. Millie felt the needles go into her back. She cried loudly for help, but no one came. She knew this was the end of her life. She knew she would not live through this. Her eyes looked at the ring on her finger. She needed to survive for Mace. She slowly got up.