Re/Paired

by Michele Zurlo

Behind them, Malcolm cleared his throat. “As much as I love watching you two have a heated discussion, I have to side with Trina. She can’t let this son of a bitch control her life.”

  Keith glared at Malcolm over her shoulder. Katrina opted to stay out of their silent war. She went around Keith and entered her condo. She needed to grab her purse and see if Darcy was finished in the bathroom. Pregnant people spent a lot of time in that particular room. Or perhaps Darcy had used it to escape the presence of so many federal agents. While she loved Malcolm and seemed to have accepted Keith, she wasn’t overly comfortable around them in groups.

  Katrina dug an older clutch from her closet. Dustin had advised her to use something smaller so she could put it in her briefcase instead of locking it in her desk at work. While he hadn’t indicated he thought anything was happening there—it was such a public and well-monitored place—he wanted her to take every precaution.

  Downsizing meant evaluating the junk inside to separate what she really needed from those items she liked to have in case she needed them. The nail file made the cut, as did the tiny vial of hand cream, but the pocket mirror didn’t.

  She didn’t look up when her door closed. Keith’s presence announced itself without visual confirmation. Every nerve ending tingled pleasantly, responding to his proximity. She wanted him to pin her down and remind her what it was like when not being in control brought feelings of safety and comfort.

  “Kat, wait a half hour. I know you’re hungry. You had coffee for breakfast, and you barely ate anything for lunch. We’re almost finished. Then we’ll all go out and get something. Or have it delivered.”

  His quiet tone didn’t plead. It laid out her alternatives in a calm, orderly manner. She liked that about him, but she wasn’t going to pick either of his options.

  Stuffing her things in her newer, smaller purse, she rose to her feet. “I need to get out of here. I need a change of scenery.”

  He caught her in his arms and held her close. It was the first time he’d shown a tender feeling all day. She rested her cheek on his chest and let her body relax against his hard length.

  He stroked his hand over her hair and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’m going to kill the bastard who did this.”

  She didn’t doubt it.

  “Wait a half hour.”

  In a half hour, they could have the food, she could have a break from being in her condo, and they could be back with dinner. Katrina didn’t really want to eat in public. This trip was as much a test of her nerves as it was an excuse to get away. “We’ll have dinner here by the time you guys finish.”

  It was all the compromise she was willing to make, not that it was really a concession.

  “I wasn’t asking, slave. If you go against my wishes and put yourself in needless danger, I will paddle your ass as punishment. I went light on you this morning. You won’t sit for a week this time.”

  The gravity of his declaration scared her, especially since he seemed to have reversed his earlier stance on having an apology as the punishment. She wiggled, trying to break his tight hold. “Keith, let go.”

  “No.”

  Just like that, his dictates were nonnegotiable. She’d never seen this side of him. Well, she’d certainly asked for it.

  That didn’t mean she accepted it. “We’re not in a scene, and you don’t get to control where I go, when, or with whom.”

  He released her suddenly. She stumbled back a few steps and fell against the bed. More than a little shocked by this personality shift, she stared up with wide eyes. He met her gaze with pure steel.

  “That’s where you’re wrong. You asked me to train you. You wanted to know what it was like to be a slave. This is it, Kitty Kat. I forbid you from leaving here without me.”

  She straightened up and composed herself. “But you won’t stop me from walking out the door.” It was a hunch. She didn’t think he’d do something that would tip Malcolm off as to their changed relationship.

  He shook his head. “I’ll never stop you from walking out on me. That’s your choice. It’s the coming back that you have to worry about.”

  A weird feeling seized the pit of her stomach. It wasn’t quite fear. More like anticipation. She went with the curious feeling. In her whole life, she’d never pushed for anything. Even when she’d asked Keith to train her, she hadn’t forced the issue. Now that she was knee-deep in his world, she realized she had to be her own advocate. If she let him, Keith would railroad over her, just as he’d warned her.

  “Do you have a preference for food? If not, I can just pick something out for you from wherever Darcy’s cravings take us.”

  Keith pressed his lips together in a grim line. He parked his hands on his hips and waited, never altering his hard gaze or his firm expression.

  She nodded. “So that’s how it’s going to be. Fine. You get what you get, and you don’t throw a fit.”

  Surprise flickered deep within those emerald depths. Katrina didn’t wait to see what else was going to happen. She turned on her heel and left.

  Outside, Malcolm kissed Darcy good-bye and grabbed Katrina’s arm before she and Darcy could walk away. “Trina, don’t be mad at Keith. This isn’t easy for him. It’s not easy for either of us. We want to catch this bastard and fix the problem. We will do it, but it’ll take time. If we didn’t love you so much, the wait wouldn’t be so bad.”

  She touched a palm to his scruffy cheek. “It’s not easy for me either. I love you, big brother. I’m going with Darcy to get dinner, and Keith’s going to have to get over it.”

  Mal’s lips parted, but he didn’t say anything for the longest second, almost as if he was trying to make an important decision. Then the moment passed, and the choice was made. He pulled her closer and lowered his volume. “In this whole world, there are only two women Keith loves. Mom and you. With Mom, he can put her up on a pedestal as the perfect mother, and she’ll never disappoint him because she’s pretty awesome. But he doesn’t know what to do with you half the time. You don’t quite fit the image of a sister for him. You’re friends. I don’t know if you noticed this, but he doesn’t have any other female friends.”

  She hadn’t noticed it. Keith seemed to have no problem gathering women. His fellow agents liked him, and the US attorneys he worked with—male and female—loved working cases with him. He was meticulous and thoughtful. Everything he touched turned out well. Justice was always served.

  But Malcolm wasn’t finished sharing his insights. “Women serve one function for him, and as soon as they serve it, he loses respect for them and moves on. I’m not saying that’s right. He doesn’t know how to trust, not really, and he doesn’t know how to love or what to do with any fierce emotions he feels. He didn’t have good role models growing up. His childhood was a nightmare. You’re a different animal, though. He trusts you, and that confuses the hell out of him. He was coping until today. He just wants to keep you safe. I think if anything happened to you, he’d never forgive himself. That’s where he’s coming from.”

  “What about Layla?” As far as Katrina could tell, Keith didn’t seem to have an issue with Layla.

  Malcolm grinned. “She’s just one of the guys. I’m not sure he’s noticed that she’s a woman yet.”

  Katrina didn’t know what to say, but Mal’s take explained why Keith treated her so differently now that they were sleeping together. She nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind the next time we have an argument. Which might be when we get back.”

  Malcolm looked over her shoulder at Darcy. “I told you it wasn’t personal, sweetheart. You have to give him time. He still can’t always figure out what to do with Trina and Mom.”

  Darcy nodded thoughtfully, but she was grinning. “So you say. I’m the one who pushed you to forgive him. I think he already likes me.”

  He kissed her again, and then Katrina and Darcy headed out.

  “Thai.” Darcy buckled her seat belt. “I have a craving for something in peanut sauce. This kid better app
reciate my sacrifices. That stuff gives me indigestion. Good thing I now carry antacid.”

  Katrina knew a good Thai place nearby. She turned in that direction. “Did you guys find out the gender? And are you even sharing that information? I won’t be offended if you don’t want to say anything.”

  Since she’d known Darcy only a few short months, they’d established a foundation for a friendship, but Katrina sometimes didn’t know what kinds of topics or questions were okay and which weren’t.

  Darcy laughed. “I found out. Malcolm wants to be surprised. He said he wants to decorate everything in shades of green and yellow. Those are the colors of paint he bought for the nursery. So I’m keeping it to myself.”

  She put her hand over the small bump in her abdomen and beamed. Katrina was happy for her brother and sister-in-law-to-be, but she was also a little jealous. While she didn’t want kids just yet—maybe not ever—she did want to have the kind of warmth and affection with Keith that these two had with each other.

  “Okay, subject change.” Katrina flashed a grin to show that her feelings weren’t hurt. “Can I ask you a theoretical question about dominance and submission?”

  If Darcy was surprised, she didn’t show it. “Sure. Are you thinking of trying it?”

  Katrina decided she could reveal her intentions as long as she didn’t put a name to her Dom. Lawyer that she was, she kept her answer ambiguous. “I am.”

  “Okay. What do you want to know?”

  “I had questions about punishment.” Katrina realized she was chewing on her cuticle, a nervous habit she thought she’d kicked. Not only was she nervous about Darcy’s response—and her reaction to the question—but she worried about why Keith would suddenly change his policy on punishments. “Spanking, in particular.”

  “Okay. I’ll warn you that I’m a masochist. I don’t consider the normal punishments as punishments.”

  What does that mean?

  She didn’t have to voice her question, because Darcy had forged ahead.

  “A punishment is earned when a submissive violates an agreed-upon rule. That means it’s unique to the individual. I’ll be the first to admit there’s a difference between a punishment spanking and an erotic one, but for me, I’ll take either one any day. Malcolm has found either prohibiting or forcing orgasm to be a better bet.” A dreamy smile softened Darcy’s mouth and reflected in her eyes.

  “What if no rules were agreed upon?” Keith had asked her to discuss limits and things like that, but she’d declined.

  Darcy’s smile vanished. “Never play with a Dom if you haven’t agreed upon protocols and punishable behavior. If he’s inexperienced, then you’ll need to have that conversation a lot. When Scott and I first started out, we did a lot of trial and error. Open communication is the key. You have to be honest, even if it’s something that might hurt his feelings or offend him.”

  Scott had been Darcy’s Master for years. Investigating his murder had brought Darcy and Malcolm together.

  Katrina blushed. Keith had tried to steer her in this direction. “What if I just said I wanted to learn his rules and his preferences, but I didn’t tell him any of mine because I’m not sure what they are?”

  This was maybe a little more revealing than she had intended, but Darcy seemed so willing to talk. She turned and studied Katrina, who tried not to squirm under the scrutiny. “Do you trust him?”

  More than she’d ever trusted a lover. “With my life.”

  Darcy seemed to accept that. “Still talk about everything. After a scene, talk about what you liked and didn’t like. Tell him what worked for you and offer suggestions. It’s not topping from the bottom to ask for what you want. You just can’t necessarily expect to get it on your terms or your timetable.”

  While she found a parking space, Katrina took some time to digest Darcy’s advice. She shot her brother’s fiancée a glance. “You won’t tell Malcolm we talked about this, will you? He’ll flip out.”

  “I don’t think he’ll flip out. I just don’t think he wants to know the details of your sex life.” Darcy laughed. “Besides, you didn’t really tell me anything.”

  On the way back, Darcy put her hand on Katrina’s arm. “Is your Master upset because you were supposed to scene today and that fucking stalker ruined everything? Because that’s not your fault.”

  Katrina shook her head. “It’s something else. One of those if-you-do-this-I’ll-paddle-your-ass things. And I went ahead and did it anyway. I don’t know that I’m okay with him trying to control my behavior outside the bedroom.”

  “Then set that boundary.” Darcy squeezed her arm. “I know you said you agreed to go by his rules, but maybe you need to have a conversation about how your limits will evolve as your relationship grows. Nothing is static. With Malcolm, we both started off with some hard limits that have become flexible, and we’ve put other limits in place where there didn’t used to be a rule. It’s a relationship, Trina. Communication and flexibility are key.”

  Beginning that dialogue wasn’t going to be easy. Katrina had thought she could approach this like a fling, whether or not she intended for it to last longer, and that she could put up with little things she didn’t like. Not having a plan for dealing with those things long-term was already proving to be a problem.

  “One more thing.” They’d arrived back at the condo. Darcy undid her seat belt and turned to regard Katrina regretfully. “You did misbehave. If he told you not to do something, whether or not you agree with him, you’re the submissive. You willfully disobeyed, and you do have a punishment coming. Take it with grace and dignity. Don’t hide your emotions, even if you’re not comfortable showing them. He needs to see your tears, your guilt, your misery. Otherwise he won’t know if the punishment has been effective.”

  Though she didn’t agree with Keith, she did feel guilty for defying him and flouting it in his face. He had given that order out of concern for her safety, and he’d offered alternatives to her plan. In retrospect, she realized he’d been very flexible. She was the one who hadn’t reacted responsibly or respectfully. For so long, she’d called the shots in all her relationships. Assuming a submissive role was going to be a tough transition. Now she understood a little better why Keith had originally refused to train her.

  What if she wasn’t cut out for this lifestyle? She’d lose her chance to be with Keith. Over the course of dinner, as the four of them sat at her small dining room table and chatted while they ate, Katrina renewed her internal commitment to exploring her submissive side. It was there. She’d found the majority of their scene the night before intensely enjoyable, and part of that came from the fact that Keith was calling the shots. It had made her feel peaceful and safe, yet excited and aroused.

  After dinner, Darcy yawned and stretched. “Trina, I’m sorry. I missed my nap, and it looks like I’m in for an early bedtime. If you don’t feel comfortable staying here tonight, you’re more than welcome to stay with us. I have a very nice guest room.”

  Malcolm seconded the invitation. Keith watched the exchange silently.

  Katrina declined. “Thanks, but I’m not going to let this jerk scare me away from my life. I’ll be fine.”

  Malcolm pursed his lips together, but one glance at Keith had him relaxing. Keith stood and took his plate to the sink. “I’ll stay with Kat tonight. Fucker comes near her, and he won’t know what hit him.”

  KEITH WALKED MALCOLM and Darcy to the door. Kat had stayed upstairs to tidy the kitchen. He liked that she never left the dishes for the next day. A dirty sink bothered him first thing in the morning. It went against his need for order. Kat went against his need for order. He was going to need to adjust his expectations, because she wasn’t his usual submissive. He wasn’t sure she had it in her to be as submissive as he required, and that could seriously derail his plan to keep distance between them.

  Last night and this morning, he’d caught glimpses of submissiveness. He’d tapped into it, but he didn’t know how to keep her there. He d
idn’t know if it was possible, only that he needed his submissive to behave.

  Mal stopped just outside the door. Darcy paused a few feet away, her gaze demurely averted to give them some privacy. He liked Darcy. He thought she was good for Mal. But that didn’t mean he knew what role she could play in his life. In the past, Mal’s girlfriends had been inconsequential to Keith. He’d known those relationships wouldn’t last. Darcy, he knew, was permanent. She was The One. He was going to have to figure out how to integrate her into his tiny inner circle.

  Malcolm stifled a yawn. “Thanks for staying with her. Call me tomorrow before you leave. Trina will blow her top if we’re all hovering around, but we can’t leave her alone for long. We have to catch this bastard, and soon.”

  Keith shook his head. “I’m not leaving her alone. I’ll call to check in with you tomorrow, but I can guarantee she won’t be alone for a second.” Whether she liked it or not.

  They hugged, a macho, manly display of affection that involved pounding each other on the back.

  Without waiting for permission, Darcy rose to her toes and kissed Keith’s prickly cheek, and then the couple left. There went another woman who didn’t find him intimidating.

  Keith ascended the stairs slowly, not sure what he’d find at the top. Kat had already been upset with him before this whole mess. As the stress of the day wore on them both, she’d become increasingly obstinate.

  Silence greeted him. A quick sweep of the place nearly stopped his heart. She knelt on the floor in the middle of the living room, naked, with her hands linked behind her neck in the pose he’d required the night before.

  He approached, but she never lifted her gaze. Last night she hadn’t been nearly this disciplined. Her eyes had darted anywhere she detected movement. That was a natural reaction. Good submissives had a tight rein on those impulses. They were controlled when they needed to be, and they ceded control when their Master required it.

  Right now, he was both relieved and proud of her. He stopped at her side and ran his hand over her hair. He’d never grow tired of touching her silky dark tresses. Her eyelids fell to half-mast, and she swayed slightly, but she corrected her position without being told.