***
I’m startled by a knock on my front door. When I glance out the peephole I’m surprised to see it’s Dante.
“Hi,” I say as I open the door.
“Can I come in?” He sounds anxious.
I move out of the way so he can enter. “Sure, what’s going on?”
“I was going to ask you the same question. I just got a text from Claudia to phone her. The first time she’s texted me since we made our arrangement. And when I called she said that you ended the arrangement. She apologized profusely about what happened and said she was willing to refund a large portion of my fees.”
I gulp. “I stopped by and told her that I wanted to end our arrangement.”
“But why? I don’t understand. I thought we agreed that I was going to work things out. That you’d still get the money every month to take care of our baby.”
“This just isn’t going to work, Dante.”
He looks crestfallen. “Don’t you trust me?”
“It’s not you I’m worried about.”
He furrows his brow. “What do you mean?”
“Your dad came by my office.”
He rubs his forehead as he lets out a huge breath of air.
“What do you think he said?” I stare at Dante.
He shrugs, but looks clearly defeated.
“It wasn’t unicorns and rainbows, Dante. Your parents are never going to accept me and they’re never going to accept my baby.”
“Our baby,” he says pointedly.
“Your dad offered me ten thousand dollars to take care of the problem. Does that sound like a father who’s thrilled about his new grandchild? He told me he’d even go as high as twenty thousand.”
Dante’s face has turned as white as fresh fallen snow. And he looks like he’s going to be sick. “He wanted you to have an abortion?”
I nod. “And when I refused he said he’d give me two hundred and fifty thousand to sign a contract that I would never sue you for child support and never tell anyone that you’re the father of the baby.”
“Why?”
“Do you seriously have to ask that question?”
He looks like a lost child. “But it’s my baby.”
I shake my head. “Your parents want the whole so-called problem to go away. And your father threatened to quash my tenure application if I didn’t give in to his demands.”
Dante shakes his head. “No, he can’t do that. I won’t allow that to happen.”
“He got you a research fellowship. All he had to do was donate a few million to the university. Who knows what another few million could do? I’m disposable. There are plenty of new doctoral graduates chomping at the bit for the few coveted tenure track jobs available every year.”
“It’s my baby. It’s our baby.”
I shake my head. “I told your dad that I wouldn’t take his money, but I was going to let you go.”
“No!”
“You’re twenty-two years old. You have your whole life ahead of you. And your dad was right when he said you’ve got a bright future. You don’t need to be burdened with a child and the gold-digging whore who got knocked up to trap you.”
“I wish you would.”
“Wish I would what?”
“Trap me.” When he looks at me his eyes are filled with so much emotion it breaks my heart. “At least then we’d still be together. You’d still be mine.” When he tries to take my hand I pull away.
“But your parents, your entire family, everyone you know, will always think of me that way. They’ve already got their minds made up. And imagine what they’d think of me if they found out about the arrangement. You need to finish graduate school. Go on and get your Ph.D. Get married to someone who your parents approve of, preferably a blond, so you can have perfect little blond babies they can love and adore.”
“But I love you. You told me you loved me too.”
“I do love you, Dante. That’s why I have to let you go.”
He shakes his head. “I’ve already got half of the problem solved.” He holds up his phone. “Talking with Claudia gave me an idea about how I can solve the other half of our problem.”
I allow him to place his hands on my cheeks. “Do you want to be with me, baby?”
“Yes, but...”
He shakes his head. “No buts. Do you want to be with me?”
“I want to be with you.” But there are so many buts...
“You have to trust me. You care about me more than my parents or siblings ever did. The only thing they care about is saving face.”
He kisses me. A deep and hungry kiss. A kiss that says he wants more than just a kiss. My entire body responds to his. He thought he was Pavlov’s dog. The simplest touch from Dante makes my entire body crave his.
“Do you have any idea how badly I want to be with you?” he whispers in my ear.
I put out my hand. “Do you want to come upstairs with me?”
“Is it okay to have sex? I mean—with the baby in there.”
“It’s fine,” I assure him.
I’m relieved when he gives me a big smile as he takes my hand. I was beginning to wonder if I’d ever see a smile on his face again
As I lead him upstairs to my bedroom I feel a few butterflies in my stomach. I didn’t think I’d ever be with Dante again. Yet here he is—in the flesh.
“Will you put the necklace I gave you back on?” He asks as we step into my bedroom.
I reach into my dresser drawer and remove the velvet box. Once the box is opened I hesitate putting it on. This is the moment of truth. Do I trust Dante with my career? Do I trust him with my life? He said he’d take care of everything so that we can be together. Do I believe him?
And is this really what I want?
When Dante and I weren’t together I felt like something was missing. I’ve never been with anyone like Dante before, and my fear is that I’ll never be with anyone else who makes me feel the way he does.
I carefully remove the sapphire necklace from its box and ask Dante to help me with the clasp. Once it’s around my neck again he turns me around to admire it. “Please don’t take it off again.”
Dante’s eyes are locked on mine as I unbutton the blouse I’m wearing and remove it from my shoulders allowing it to drop to the floor. I don’t hesitate to remove my bra either. Then I pull down my skirt and my panties follow.
I present myself to Dante completely naked except for his sapphire pendant around my neck. “I’ll always be yours.” As I say the words I finally realize they’re true.
I’ve given more to Dante than just my body. I’ve given him my heart.
He pulls me close and claims me once again with a deep, hungry kiss.
“I need to be inside of you.” His tone is urgent, almost desperate.
He removes his shirt in one swift movement. His jeans and boxer briefs come off just as fast.
Then he kisses me while he backs me toward the bed.
Pulling me onto the bed with him we’re quickly a tangle of arms and legs and eager bodies longing to be reconnected with each other.
He kisses every inch of my body alternating between light, butterfly kisses and more sensual kisses that leave me shuddering.
When he finally eases into me he’s slow and careful, almost like he’s afraid of hurting me or the baby.
“It’s okay,” I whisper. “You won’t hurt me.”
He quickens the pace just a bit, his eyes still on me gaging my reaction.
I love the way he fills me so completely and seems to know exactly what to do to make my body respond. He’s learned to handle my body like a lovely instrument whose song is perfect only under his command.
Dante is no longer paying me to be with him. We no longer have an arrangement. I’m with Dante because I want to be with him. For the first time I give myself to him utterly and completely. I don’t hold back any part of myself.
“I’m yours, Dante,” I whisper.
This seems to spark som
ething deep within him. There’s a confidence in his eyes that I’ve never seen before.
His pace increases a bit more and his thrusts are a little harder and deeper, just enough to push us both right over the edge.
Pulling me tight he wraps me into a human blanket and we remain in each other’s arms for a really long time.
It’s like neither one of us wants the perfect moment, the reunion of our bodies, to end.
“Nothing will keep us apart again,” he says placing a hand on my cheek. “I promise.”
And I believe him.
***
I let out a deep breath as I type the final sentence on my tenure application. I’ve got two days to spare, but decide there’s no harm in submitting it before the deadline.
I’ll just review it once for typos and spelling errors then hit the send button. It’ll be a relief to get that albatross off my back.
It’s so quiet in my office that I gasp when Andrew comes storming in waving a paper in the air like it’s on fire.
“Look at this!” He waves the paper in front of me much too fast for me to actually see what’s printed on it.
“Great to see you,” I say hoping it will calm him down enough for him to tell me what’s got him so agitated.
He stops flailing and gives me a big smile. Until his eyes land on the sapphire pendant around my neck and the smile fades just as quickly.
“Are you and your boyfriend back together?” His voice quivers.
“It’s complicated,” I tell him. Even though in my heart I feel like Dante and I are together there are still obstacles in our way.
He stares at the sapphire sparkling under my bright office light. “He’s rich, isn’t he?”
I nod.
“Money isn’t everything.”
“Believe me, I know.” I point to the paper in his hands. “What’s that about?”
“This is a request for a recommendation from the Classics Department at the U.”
“So?” Professors are asked for recommendations all the time. It’s a significant part of our jobs.
“It’s a recommendation request for Dante McNally. Apparently he’s trying to transfer for the spring term. Direct entry into their doctoral program in British Literatures and Cultures.”
My eyes grow wide. “Oh.”
“This is a complete disaster. He’s the best student we’ve ever had in our department. We can’t lose him.”
Andrew heaves a huge sigh. “He didn’t even tell me that he was considering transferring. I thought the two of us were starting to have a connection. That he considered me a mentor. I was looking forward to serving on his thesis committee. Maybe even chairing it.”
“Perhaps he was afraid that you’d try to talk him out of transferring.”
“Hell yes, I would have tried to talk him out of it. I know you don’t really like him that much...”
“What would give you that impression?” I do my best to bite back a grin.
“You’re always so guarded around him. You’re not your usual vibrant self.”
“Close the door,” I instruct. “And then sit down.”
He tilts his head and furrows his brow. I think he might ask, “Why?” but then thinks better of it and does as I directed.
“There’s a reason I’ve not been quite myself around Dante McNally. It’s not because I don’t like him. It’s because I love him.”
It takes a few moments for my declaration to sink in. “Is he...?” He points to my abdomen.
“He’s the father of my child.”
As his eyes grow wide I hold up a hand. “Before you say anything Dante and I met before he knew I was a professor and before I knew he was going to be a student in the department. Now you know why things between us have been complicated. Especially when I got pregnant.”
“I wasn’t going to judge,” he says. “Technically there’s nothing in the faculty code of conduct that says you can’t have a relationship with a graduate student who is not under your supervision or to whom you are not assigning a grade.”
“It’s kind of a gray area,” I say. “Especially when I’m applying for tenure. And you know as well as I do that Dean Harris would not approve. Plus Dante’s daddy wasn’t too happy that his son knocked me up. He threatened to cause trouble for me. Money talks here just like everywhere else. And the McNally’s have a lot of money.”
“Paul McNally is a prick,” he says.
“You’ve met?” I raise an eyebrow.
“Unfortunately. Usually the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, but in Dante’s case it’s like somehow a rotten apple tree produced a wonderful orange.”
“Weird analogy, but somehow still appropriate.”
“He’s a good kid,” Andrew says without thinking and then back peddles. “I mean...”
“I know he’s significantly younger than I am.”
“But he’s mature. And brilliant. God, is he smart. I’m actually jealous of him.” Andrew looks up at me. “For a lot of reasons.”
“I just want you to know that he wasn’t abandoning me or our baby. He was trying to protect me. And my career.” I finger the sapphire around my neck. “It was just impossible for us to stay apart.”
He holds up the paper in his hand. “I’d better fill out this application.”
We’re both startled by a knock on my office door.
“Come in,” I say.
When Dante enters and he sees Andrew his face turns to an angry mask. He bites his lip as if he wants to say something, but he’s holding back.
Andrew quickly rises from the chair and waves the paper he’s holding at Dante. “I was just telling Dr. Pine—um—Mary that I got a recommendation request from the U. I asked her if she had any idea why you might be transferring to another program. She told me why, Dante.”
Dante’s face softens.
“Selfishly I want you to stay here,” Andrew continues. “But I know you need to go.” He places a hand on Dante’s shoulder. “Take good care of her and your baby.”
And with that Andrew disappears out of my office.
After closing the door behind him Dante circles around my desk and pulls me up and into his arms.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to give you this.” He places a soft kiss on my lips. Then he opens his backpack, removes a manila envelope and hands it to me. “A completed grant application, my lady.”
I take the envelope from his hands. “Thank you. And you’ll be happy to know I submitted my tenure application.”
That scores me another kiss.
“So, when were you going to tell me about the U?”
He frowns. “Didn’t I mention that?”
I give him a teasing slap on the upper arm. “You know you didn’t tell me.”
“I was waiting until I officially got accepted.”
“Officially?”
“I took a page from my father’s playbook. I had a meeting with the Chair of the Department of English Languages and Literature and told her I was interested in transferring to their doctoral program. We discussed my credentials and she was impressed, but she said the program was highly competitive. Even though I meet all the requirements for admission there is currently a waiting list of highly qualified candidates who all want admission into the program. I mentioned that I was considering making a sizable donation to fund a scholarship for their undergraduate Program in Medieval Studies. When I gave her a figure of what a sizable donation might entail, I miraculously bypassed the waiting list and was welcomed into the program with open arms. Now it’s just a matter of completing the application and having my credits transferred as soon as the semester ends.”
“I realize you only did that so we can be together, but please don’t turn into your father.”
He gnaws on his bottom lip. “I may have done just one other thing that I’m not too proud of, but it will ensure that we won’t have any more trouble from my dad. And I promise I won’t do anything like that again.”
I narrow my gaze at him. “What did you do?”
When he clears his throat I brace myself for the worst. “You never asked me how I knew about The Club.”
“Okay, how did you find out about The Club?”
“I overhead my dad telling one of his buddies about it.”
I know I shouldn’t be surprised, but my eyes grow wide in spite of myself. “Your dad is a member of The Club?”
“He has been for years.”
“Wow.”
“So I took a little trip to see Claudia. She had already refunded all of my money, but I told her it wasn’t enough. I made it sound like she had ruined my life. I lied through my teeth and told her that I never wanted children. That it was all her fault that I now had this lifelong burden because she was the one who recommended you. I threatened to tell all of my rich friends and all of my father’s rich friends that she sets men up with gold digging whores who just want to get pregnant. You’ve seen Claudia. The woman is an ice queen. But she actually looked panicked. I completely got under her skin. But after telling me I should only give you a dollar for your final payment she deserved it. I guaranteed her that I wouldn’t tell anyone about her pregnancy mill if she did one thing for me.”
“Pregnancy mill? Really?”
He places a kiss on my cheek. “I told you I was laying it on thick. And it worked. She gave me copies of all my dad’s files. Background checks on all of his mistresses. All of the payments he made to them, how much and when.”
“How many did he have?” I ask.
“He’s on his sixth.”
I swallow. If I didn’t know how much Dante hates his dad and how little they have in common I’d be worried.
“I confronted my dad with the file. I told him I knew everything about his mistresses. And I threatened to expose him if he didn’t support our relationship one hundred percent and endorse your application for tenure.”
“Remind me never to cross you,” I tease.
“This is all for you, baby. I did all this all for you.”
Thirteen
Three Weeks Later
I breathe a sigh of relief when I press the submit button and my grades for the term are handed into the registrar. When I glance up from my computer Misty is rushing into my office.
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