by Лорен Уиллиг
“Madness, maybe,” said Charlotte, hating the pleading note she heard in her own voice, “but a very lovely sort of madness.”
Robert looked at her with regret. The expression she saw there chilled her to the bone.
“Lovely,” he said softly, “in its place. Remember what you said about enchantments, Charlotte? You were right. They can’t survive in the workaday world.”
Even now, the sound of her name on his lips sounded like a caress. Charlotte shook her head very hard, so hard, her ears rang with it. “Not all of them, perhaps, but this one . . .”
“Is over,” he said with gentle finality.
It was the gentleness of it that ripped through Charlotte’s composure, piercing her straight to the very core.
She lifted her head, her ostrich plume standing high. “I don’t believe you,” she said, with all the dignity she could muster. “You wouldn’t have” — she twisted over her shoulder and lowered her voice to a whisper. There was no point in being ruined like Penelope — “kissed me if you hadn’t meant it. I know you, Robert.”
“Do you?” That had clearly been the wrong thing to say. Something dangerous flickered beneath the cerulean surface of his eyes, something dark and unpleasant, like a sea serpent stirring under otherwise placid waters. “Do you really, Charlotte?”
There was a barbed undertone to his silken voice that suggested that answering would be a very bad idea.
“How long did we have together at Girdings? Ten days? Twelve?”
“Fourteen,” blurted out Charlotte, a little too quickly. She had counted over each one hundreds of time, thumbing through her memories like beads on a rosary.
“Fourteen,” acknowledged Robert. “A whole fortnight.”
Put that way, it did sound rather paltry.
“A whole fortnight to see directly into someone else’s soul.”
“Sometimes it doesn’t even take a fortnight,” said Charlotte stubbornly. “Sometimes you just know. As I know you. Good heavens, Robert, I’ve known you since we were children!”
“For all of, what, a month? Two months? Twelve years ago?”
“Character doesn’t lie,” Charlotte said doggedly. “You were so kind, so good to me — ”
“Who else was I supposed to talk to? Your grandmother? You were my only option.”
“As I was this time?” Charlotte demanded, making a face at him to underline the absurdity of it all. They had been surrounded by a house party full of people, for heaven’s sake. Admittedly, some of them, like Turnip Fitzhugh, weren’t exactly in the running for an England’s Best Conversationalist competition, but it wasn’t as though anyone had twisted his arm and forced him to seek her out at the breakfast table or sit with her in the library for hours every afternoon.
Robert, however, seemed to miss the humor in it.
He looked at her long and hard, his face as impassive as the guards-men stationed by the doors. “Yes.”
Charlotte could only stare at him, in complete bewilderment. Who was this, and where he had hidden the real Robert?
Robert saved her the trouble of saying anything more. Bowing over her nerveless hand, he said smoothly, “Thank you, Lady Charlotte, for enlivening an exceedingly dull sojourn in the country. I don’t believe our paths need cross in town.”
Over Robert’s bowed head, Charlotte could see his friend Medmenham approaching. What was that Penelope had said, five hundred years ago? Something about the company Robert kept. Penelope had been right. Didn’t animals tend to run with their own kind? So, apparently, did rakes.
In a voice like dead leaves, Charlotte said tonelessly, “So I was simply your country entertainment. Like a mummers’ play.”
“Only much prettier,” he said matter-of-factly. “Ah, Medmenham. My cousin was just leaving.”
Medmenham lifted her fingers lingeringly to his lips. “Pity,” he said.
As if from a very long way away, Charlotte could hear Penelope again, in the ballroom at Girdings. I heard your precious duke tell Sir Francis Medmenham that you weren’t the sort he’d be interested in dallying with. . . . He left you, Lottie. By going off to carouse with Medmenham . . . going off to carouse with Medmenham . . . with Medmenham.
Charlotte could feel color rising in her cheeks, not out of shame, but rage. Two could play at that game, couldn’t they? “Yes, isn’t it?” she said, and her voice had a shrill edge that hadn’t been there before. “Would you walk with me, Sir Francis?”
Medmenham waved a languid hand. “To the ends of the earth.”
“I had in mind the end of the Presence Chamber.” Charlotte smiled winningly at Medmenham, unshed tears making her eyes brilliant. There was nothing like heartbreak to lend color to the complexion. “Will you excuse us, Cousin Robert?”
Even now, when she found she knew nothing about him at all, she knew enough to tell that her erstwhile betrayer was decidedly not happy. Displeasure exuded from the sudden stiffness of his shoulders, the belligerent angle of his jaw. Short of making a scene, however, there was nothing at all he could do.
“All right,” he said smoothly, “but just this once.”
There was something in his tone that said that he meant it.
Charlotte took Medmenham’s arm, holding her head so high, it hurt. So he didn’t want her monopolizing his friends, did he? Well, too bad for him. He wasn’t the only one who might find her “entertaining.” Charlotte’s heart clenched painfully at the memory. At least Medmenham was an honest rogue. He had never pretended to be a knight in shining armor. Charlotte blinked back angry tears.
“Do forgive me, Sir Francis,” she said thickly. “A spot of dust in my eye.”
“Indeed,” agreed Sir Francis. “The Court is confounded . . . dusty.”
“But peaceful,” said Charlotte. It was peaceful, usually. Too peaceful. She thought of the King’s daughters, kept at Court in perpetual monastic confinement, and had to suppress a shiver.
“As the tomb,” agreed Sir Francis. “And you know what the poets say about that.”
“One poet, at least,” said Charlotte. “But not one, I think, of whom Their Majesties would approve.”
“Do you base all your actions on the approval of Their Majesties?”
“When I am under their roof, it seems the least I can do.”
“Roof” had been the wrong word to choose. In the back of Charlotte’s head, drooping nymphs crooned an elegy about the illusions of love. That night on the roof, she had been so very happy, so very sure that Robert had meant everything he said. It wasn’t even so much what he said, since, in retrospect, he hadn’t said so very much, but the way he had looked as he had said it, tenderness written in every line of his open, honest face.
So much for that.
All this while, she had thought she was living out Evelina, where the heroine’s virtue and charm won the admiration and love of the honorable Lord Orville. Instead, she seemed to have dropped into Clarissa, seduced by the rake Lovelace for his own amusement. She had always thought herself able to tell the one from the other. And Robert had always seemed so honorable, so truthful — so kind.
If she let herself start believing Robert didn’t mean what he had said just now, she would go mad. Like Ophelia. There was a heroine she most certainly did not want to emulate.
Medmenham ducked closer. “Is the presence of a roof your sole criteria for the moderation of your activities? What about the royal courtyards? Or the Palace gardens? Would you forebear to gather your rosebuds there for fear of offending your monarch?”
“I believe,” said Charlotte solemnly, “that, like balconies, gardens and courtyards must be taken as extensions of the overall structure, and dealt with accordingly.”
“Your scruples become you, Lady Charlotte.” The glint in Medmenham’s eye said that before the night was out, he would have ten to one in the books at White’s that he could overcome them. He, at least, was an unmistakable Lovelace. And, as such, no danger to her.
Charlotte incline
d her head in silent acknowledgment, all that was virginal and aloof. After all, if he was playing Lovelace, she might at least do her bit as Clarissa. Especially if Robert was still watching them.
Medmenham rose to the bait. The more she looked away from him, the closer he leaned. Charlotte desperately hoped that Robert was watching. But why? What was the point? If he were, he wouldn’t care. He had made that quite clear. Charlotte’s head swam with the confusion of it all. Just twenty minutes ago, she had been galloping towards happily ever after, in love and loved; now she was . . . what?
Medmenham was still buzzing around her ear, like a fly. “Do you return to Girdings? Or shall you stay in London to grace the gatherings of the metropolis?”
“As long as Their Majesties are in London, I will be, too. I wait on Her Majesty,” Charlotte explained, pulling herself together. “It’s my three-month turn as maid of honor.”
“I trust, then, that I may wait on you.”
Trust. The word had a bittersweet echo to it. Charlotte could hear herself, like a fool, prattling to Robert in the chapel antechamber, bragging that to trust was to render someone worthy of trust. And Robert, all those long weeks ago, replying, “That sounds like a very dangerous philosophy.”
He must have known, even then, what he had intended to do.
Rotten apples, indeed!
Charlotte busied herself with the leaves of her fan, which had been painted with a charming scene of Richmond Palace. “Never trust, Sir Francis. It’s a dubious venture.”
“Will you, then, give me leave to hope?”
“Shall we say, instead, that you may hazard a visit?”
“That,” said Sir Francis, “would be a wager very much to my taste. For you, dear lady, who could fail to hazard far more?”
One name came to mind.
“I imagine that for a hardened gamester, one wager does as well as another,” Charlotte said honestly. “And that the determining factor would be which first comes to hand.”
If she hadn’t been there, would it have been Penelope or one of the others singled out for the new duke’s attentions? It was like looking at the world reflected in the back of a spoon, everything upside down and out of proportion.
“I had never thought you a cynic, Lady Charlotte.” Sir Francis sounded like he very much approved the change.
Charlotte lifted a hand in instinctive revulsion. “Say practical, rather than cynical.”
“Two words for the same thing.”
“No.” Caught up in the philosophy of it, Charlotte nearly forgot she was talking to Medmenham. “A cynic looks for the worst. A pragmatist merely weathers it when he stumbles upon it.”
“Or she?” asked Lord Francis, a little too knowingly.
Charlotte took refuge behind her fan. “Does it make any difference? Life makes little distinction for one’s sex in these matters, I should think.”
“Radical notions for a member of the Queen’s household, Lady Charlotte,” drawled Medmenham. “Have you any others?”
That almost made Charlotte smile. There was nothing the least bit radical about her. In fact, she was the most conventional creature alive. She believed in true love, and loyalty to one’s monarch, and death before dishonor. It was just that, sometimes, things didn’t quite turn out as one would have wished. In those cases, there was nothing to do but carry on. And on and on and on.
Charlotte smiled achingly up at him. “No, Sir Francis. Not radical notions. Merely practical ones.”
Chapter Fourteen
“A pleasant girl, your cousin.” Medmenham’s voice pounded against Robert’s aching head like the devil’s own hammers.
That had not gone well.
In fact, it was hard to imagine a way in which that could have gone any worse, short of flood, fire, or a large batch of locusts. What in all the blazes was Charlotte doing in London? In his imagination, Charlotte was perpetually at Girdings, leaning over the parapet of the roof with the wind playing through her hair. That was the point of towers, after all. They kept their princesses safe. She was safe at Girdings. Safe from him.
Three weeks later, he could smell the reek of the caves rising off his skin like rot. He had spent years trying to remake himself, trying to scour the stench of the tavern from his skin. But when it came down to it, for all his years of self-abnegation, he was no better than his father, whoring his way through life without moderation or honor.
Charlotte deserved better than that.
“You think so?” Robert adopted the bored drawl that was de rigueur among Medmenham’s set. After three weeks, it came as easily as breathing. “I’m sure she’s pleasant enough, but it is the utter end of tedium to be constantly burdened with attendance on a young relation. Especially when there are so many more entertaining companions to be had.”
He deliberately let his gaze linger on a particularly buxom countess, who giggled and turned to whisper behind her fan to a friend.
Medmenham, unfortunately, was not to be distracted. Folding his arms across his chest, he contemplated Charlotte with the lazy scrutiny of a gentleman considering the purchase of a new mare. “I might be willing to take her off your hands, Dovedale. For a large enough douceur, of course.”
“Angling for a dowry, Medmenham?” Robert didn’t bother to keep the sharp edge off his voice.
Medmenham was unperturbed. “Which of us isn’t?”
“There are greater heiresses in London.”
Medmenham’s inscrutable gaze followed Charlotte as she, curtsying, handed the Queen a dropped handkerchief before falling back into ranks with the other maids of honor. “Perhaps I find myself in want of connections at Court.”
“Your friend, the Prince of Wales, will be disappointed to find you gone over to his father’s camp.”
“My dear Dovedale, I inhabit no camp but my own. I believe I shall ask your cousin for a ride in the park tomorrow. She can ride, can’t she?”
“The topic has never come up,” Robert said shortly, wondering how in the devil Medmenham managed to make absolutely everything sound like a double entendre. “I see Innes waits on the King.”
“Yes,” said Medmenham idly. “His brother procured him the post, believing that time spent in the royal monastery would reform Innes’s disposition. A foolish notion, that.”
“Especially with you on hand to effect a counterreformation.” Robert managed to make it sound more compliment than criticism. “Does the Order meet again soon?”
“Patience, patience, good Dovedale. In a week, I think. That should be time enough.”
Time enough for what?
It was all Robert could do to paste on the requisite expression of jaded ennui when all he wanted to do was shake Medmenham until he told him what he needed to know. He bitterly loathed clinging to Medmenham’s coattails but tentative forays into finding Wrothan on his own had confirmed him in the unhappy conviction that the only way to Wrothan was through Medmenham. No one else seemed to know the least thing about a man answering to his description — and Robert was afraid to ask too much for fear of giving the game away. Espionage, he realized, was not his forte.
The project that had begun as a simple plan to find and exterminate Wrothan had changed into something far more dangerous and complex. To kill the man who had killed his mentor, that was one thing. But now, knowing that Wrothan was actively plotting with the French — or, at least, a Frenchman — Robert knew there was no way he could just run Wrothan through and walk away, leaving Wrothan’s contact free to coolly carry on with whatever dastardly doings he had in train. How could he ignore something that might cost more lives? It wasn’t just the Colonel anymore or the other men who had died due to the sale of intelligence before Assaye. It could be whole battalions of men at stake. Lord Henry had a position at court; Lord Freddy’s father was one of the King’s ministers; even the loathsome Frobisher had a brother at the War Office. All had access to secrets of state; all might be stripped of those secrets for the price of a gallon of strong cider or a w
hiff of drugged smoke in a subterranean chamber.
If Wrothan and his French contact were using the Order of the Lotus’s orgies as a means of meeting, that would be the best place to catch them, truss them, and haul them off to justice. As soon as he knew where and when the meeting was to be, he could put his plans into operation. And then he could leave. Leave London, leave England, leave Europe. The ultimate location didn’t matter, just so long as it was a very long way away, away from Charlotte and Girdings and this bizarre homesickness for something that had never been his to long for in the first place.
Despite himself, Robert’s eyes wandered to the cluster of ladies around the Queen, drawn, as always, to Charlotte. She was smiling at something one of the others had said, smiling too broadly for it to be anything but false. And he knew, without knowing how he knew, that she was as aware of him as he was of her, and would be, no matter where in the room he roamed.
It was only a matter of weeks, Robert reminded himself. Then Wrothan would be found, his work here would be done, and Charlotte could marry the sort of man she was meant to marry.
Just so long as that man wasn’t Medmenham.
As soon as the Queen released her, Charlotte did what she always did in moments of great emotional distress.
She made straight for the library.
The pages and footmen and guards who peopled the Queen’s House already knew Charlotte by sight. They let her pass without comment, which was a very good thing, since Charlotte wasn’t sure quite what would come out if she opened her mouth. She had kept it pressed very tightly shut all through the long afternoon at the Queen’s side, smiling, smiling, smiling. She had smiled through the end of the reception, smiled through the trip from St. James back to the Queen’s House, smiled as Princess Augusta read aloud from The Lay of the Last Minstrel, smiled until she wanted to scream from the strain of smiling, all the while reliving, in excruciating detail, every second of the past few weeks, from Robert’s arrival at Girdings through his stunning defection just now.
At the end of it, all Charlotte was left with was the sense of having been terribly, horribly wrong. For someone who prided herself on her ability to read, she had painfully misread everything that had happened, every word, every gesture, every embrace. That almost kiss hadn’t been almost because he didn’t want to sully her; it had been almost because he just wasn’t that interested. As for the roof . . . good heavens, she had all but kidnapped him. He had even called it a kidnapping. Then, once she had him alone and poised on the edge of a sheer five-story drop, she had practically attacked him.