by Jillian Neal
“You saw Nadya? Like Grady’s Nadya?” Nate beat him to the punch.
“Yeah,” Beau sighed. “She was at the coffee shop. Said she was gonna be here for a few weeks, and …”
“And what?” Grady managed to grunt. His heart felt like some kind of deranged pinball ricocheting from his throat, to his ribcage, to his gut in a nauseating cadence. It rang in his ears.
“She’s not okay, Grady. She’s kinda messed up.”
“What? What the fuck do you mean she’s messed up?” His tone rang with his fury. He shoved Beau down in a nearby chair. “Talk!”
“I don’t know. I didn’t talk to her long. She’s got some bruises on her face. They’re not that big, but ….” he hemmed again.
“Dammit, Beau!”
“She looks like somebody hit her, and she was moving kind of funny. Like something else was hurt, ya know? I probably shouldn’t have said anything, but I’m worried about her. She’s not okay.”
Grady attempted to swallow down the bile and vomit that flooded his throat. His fists clenched of their own accord. If he found out that asshole L.A. husband of hers had hurt her, he’d hunt him to the ends of the earth. Since the entire town knew everything about everyone, as soon as Mac and Molly had gotten news that Nadya was marrying some prick out in Cali, Grady had known. Nate had watched him like a hawk for two weeks after that worried he was finally going to end it all because his Nady had moved on. Truthfully, the thought had occurred to him, but he’d pushed it away quickly. His brothers needed him. The town needed him. He wouldn’t let them down.
“She’s staying up at Ruth Cooper’s Inn, but like I said, she asked me not to tell you. I don’t know if she wants to see you.”
Grady managed a half nod. “Yeah. I’m sure she doesn’t.” With that, he grabbed the keys to Wind Dancer and stomped onto the pier.
“Grady?” Nate raced after him. “You okay?”
Grady waved him off and had the motor cranked and the lights on in less than a second. “I’ll be back later.” With that, he took off. He didn’t know what to think or how to react. How the hell could she just come back after all of these years? What the hell had happened to her? Whatever it was, it was his fault. He’d driven her away with his asinine temper and inability to care for her. Of course she didn’t want to see him. She was probably still afraid.
Exhaustion tugged at her eyelids, but rest eluded Nadya. She’d quickly taken Ryan’s gentle suggestion that she get some rest as a means of escape. Aware she was being discussed in frantic whispers in the kitchen, she walked around the suite Sienna and Ryan had so generously provided her.
The moon dancing on the rippling waves off of her private deck beckoned her. She tried to navigate her emotions. Her heart felt weary and weak. She’d gone on so long desperately searching for a home. The only emotion she fully recognized was that of loneliness. Letting her intuition guide her, trying it out to see if it even still worked, she stepped out onto the balcony and stared out at the mighty Atlantic lit by the moon.
She smiled as the foamy water curled in on itself, caressing the shoreline like a voracious lover anxious for more. Suddenly, she gasped. Her mouth hung open. The salty air entangled in her lungs. She’d know that boat anywhere. She’d helped build it. Wind Dancer shot across the waves. Her heart flew in time with the roar of the engine. Something that felt like it might have been life finally surged through her once again. It made her woozy with something akin to relief. She clutched her chest and felt the fevered tears spill from her eyes. At the helm stood the tall, chiseled form of Grady Havens.
Sienna wasn’t certain who to worry about more, Ryan or Nadya. Ryan was a disaster over the meeting he’d gone to in town and was very concerned about Nadya. She appreciated both, but wished he’d calm down a little.
He ran his hands over his face and then rubbed his temples in an effort to massage away just a little of the tension the day had provided. “So, what happened with her and Grady, anyway?”
“I’m not really sure.” Sienna sighed and sipped the tea that her Nana used to make her whenever she was upset. “She grew up here, just a few streets in, close to where Grady grew up. They were neighbors. They were best friends when they were kids, and then high school sweethearts. They were always together. I thought she’d marry him and run his Dad’s charter company with him. That was the plan when I left here the summer she turned sixteen, and I had to go back to Norfolk.
“Nana wrote me a couple of months later saying that Nadya had run away. She went and stayed with her dad for a little while. Her parents were never married, and he lived in Nashville. After that, I didn’t hear from her too often. We exchanged letters maybe once a year for a while. I tried to call her mom a few times, but she’d left Wilmington, and I didn’t know where she’d moved. I asked Mac about her a few months ago when I got back here. He said she was living in California. Nana told me that her jewelry company was doing really well. She was always making stuff like that when we were little, so that made perfect sense to me.” Sienna shrugged. “I just don’t know what happened between then and now, and I have no idea why she left Grady all those years ago. They were inseparable. I thought they’d be together forever. I remember thinking if they couldn’t make it, no one could, and I do know that he’s never gotten over her. I can tell. I don’t know how he’d react if he knew she was back in town. You know that massive tattoo he has over his chest and shoulder? He got that for her. She was his lucky angel. He always called her that.”
Ryan gently rubbed his thumb over Sienna’s hand. He just needed to hold onto her. The wind outside the Inn whipped and beat against the house in frenzied contention. Sienna seemed frantic and uneasy even sitting in her own kitchen holding his hand. He didn’t have to have Gypsy blood to know that something was coming — and that it wasn’t going to be good.
“Sienna, baby, she’s not okay. I don’t just mean her face and whatever is wrong with her side. She may need some counseling, or to be checked by a doctor at the very least.”
“I know, but we have to let Nadya handle it in her own way. We need to listen to her. She’ll be okay. She was always the strongest person I knew.”
“Yeah, okay, but sometimes, baby, the strongest people are the ones that are the most broken,” Ryan eased.
She managed a slight nod before tears flooded her hazel eyes again.
Five
Grady ordered his mind and his eyes to constantly scan the water. He may have taken his fair share of reckless boat trips at night, but he’d also been a stupid kid when he’d done it. His reaction time and dexterity were second to none, but he’d be damned if he was going to put anyone or anything in danger because of his fucked up life.
He eased off the gas and banked to the port side when he spied the manatee mother and her calves. He tried to order his thoughts while he let his instincts guide the boat. Nadya was back at the beach. It’s where she always belonged. His heart argued combatively. He shook his head. That wasn’t true. She deserved so much better than anything he could ever have given her. That had been proven when she’d shown up at his old man’s house sobbing, pregnant, and barely sixteen years old.
Grady’s body shuddered against the haunting imagery his mind could recall with appalling clarity. He’d flipped out, but when he finally calmed down, he thought he’d formulated a half-decent plan. He would have done what he said. Always letting his ego be his guide, he’d dropped out of school, talked his dad into letting him run the Gemini, and letting him and Nadya move into the old houseboat. He’d sworn to her that he’d take care of her and the baby. He’d had no fucking clue how he would make enough to feed them both. All he knew was that he loved her more than life itself.
The first time he’d taken her, they’d been making out on Wind Dancer. She’d asked him to keep going, and at sixteen years old, he was incapable of turning down such a heavenly invitation. Condoms hadn’t occurred to either of them that time. They’d occasionally use them if they had money and could get
some without having to have some guy at the drugstore unlock them. Eventually, she’d assured him that she loved the way his body felt inside of her. Said she didn’t want anything to keep him from her. The awe-inspiring feeling of burying himself deep inside of her with nothing blocking his way took up most of his brainpower. Protection wasn’t easy to come by, therefore most of the time they went without. They’d both been idiots.
With her heady assurances that she loved him and loved the way he felt inside of her stroking his cock and his ego, he’d spent every available moment he had feasting on her beautiful body. A little over a year after their first time, she was pregnant, terrified, and lost.
They’d dropped out of school two days before the miscarriage. He’d kept her on the houseboat and tried feebly to take care of her, but he was a stupid kid. Her body recovered, but her spirit was broken. They just didn’t know how to put it back together, and there was certainly no way that the Pender County Board of Education was gonna let two troubled Gypsy kids back in. They’d been delighted to get rid of them.
The recollections still singed his throat and made the tears in his eyes feel like acid.
“I don’t know, Grady. I don’t know anything anymore. I feel so lost.”
“I know, Nad. I’ll do anything you want to do. Just tell me, please.”
She’d broken down completely. “Mom’s kicking me out. I have to go live with my dad for a little while. She said if I didn’t she was turning me over to child-services.”
If she’d sank his fillet knife to its hilt in his chest, it wouldn’t have hurt as bad as her trying to tell him that she was leaving, and that she had no choice.
“Nady, please don’t go. Please. I’ll figure out something. Let’s just run away.” The hollowed allowance brought him to the depths of hell, but he was certain that’s where he belonged.
“We can’t run away. Your whole life is here. I don’t want to leave you, but I can’t find my way back to you. I have to go.”
The next few days had burned in some kind of torturous motion that left his entire body raw and battered. He ached from the pain of being without her. He wasn’t certain he could go on. Nate had talked their father into going ahead with the houseboat and the Gemini. He’d effectively saved Grady’s life, given him a space to try to heal, and a job where he knew he could succeed. And now, after all of that, and almost fourteen years of existing without ever really living, she was somehow back.
The wind picked up again and the liquid emotion was blurring his sight. He banked back towards the beach. His eyes stupidly sought the Inn. Her silhouetted form stood backlit in the window. Could she see him? Was she looking for him? He needed to be angry. He needed to let the fury fuel his blood. It was how he existed. Angry at her for leaving, angry at the world for all it had robbed him of, and angry at himself for all that had happened. But in that moment, all he was capable of feeling was desperation to hold her in his arms, to make certain she was okay, and to take back what should always have been his.
Nadya winced. Her body continued to shiver as she sobbed. Accustomed to taking care of herself, she tried to wrap a throw around her shoulders as she continued to cry. The tears were somehow cathartic, maybe. She was no longer certain what to feel. Just seeing him making an obvious getaway on Wind Dancer flooded her entire being with desperation. She shouldn’t trust herself. She was the one that had believed all of Peter’s lies. She was the one that somehow thought running away would be the right thing to do all those years ago. She should have grabbed his hand and taken flight with Grady. They should never have looked back.
She’d told herself that marrying Peter was the responsible thing to do, and that it would allow her to really launch her business. She’d done that in spite of him, not because of him, and now she’d never felt more miserable.
Shedding her loose shirt and skirt, she climbed into the bed, wrapped herself up in the sheets and every available blanket, and tried to simply let her sobbing convulsions lead her to sleep. She shivered constantly, unable to stay warm even in the stagnant July heat. Something deep inside of her was cold. She could no longer access the sunlight or the earth’s heat. It had disappeared with everything else good in her life.
Trying to pretend that his life hadn’t just abruptly changed proved just as futile as trying to sleep. The gentle waves of the intercostal had done nothing to soothe him. For the first time in forever, his beloved houseboat felt like a net that had him ensnared. He’d debated sprinting to the Inn a thousand times. He wanted to demand to see her. Ryan McNamara might build houses for a living, but Grady felt certain he could take him. He’d spent an entire lifetime hauling fish, motors, tools, generators, and anything else necessary to make a life on the water.
He also knew that Ryan wouldn’t fight him. He was too classy, but dammit, Grady wanted to sink his fists into something. Knowing she was there, hiding from him, brought back every moment of pain he’d already endured.
Hell-bent on escape, he stepped out onto the front decking of his abode and scanned the beach. His eyes landed on two sheriff’s patrol cars parked at Mac and Molly’s. “Shit, what now?” he spat to the pitiless air. Heading back into the cabin, he located a t-shirt and dragged it over his sore muscles. He’d fought back far too many demons the night before. They’d left their mark.
He pulled on a pair of ripped blue jeans and brushed his teeth before heading back out. He stopped short. “Dammit, Pops, you’re not supposed to be out here. Where the hell’s your cane?” The weary lines of his father’s aged face were drawn tensely.
“There was a day, boy, when I was the one ordering you around. I was worried about you. Saw in the paper this morning that cops are looking to blame the beach for the round of break-ins. I’ve always taken care of you, Grady. I’m still trying to. Whoever’s doing this hit three houses in Fairview last night while people were on vacation. They used the markings. They’re gonna be out here snooping around. Just wanted to make sure you and your brothers weren’t gonna show ‘um anything they didn’t need to see.”
Grady hid his eye roll. He leapt down to the dock and helped his father navigate his way down the plank wood towards the Gemini and the Orion. At least, for the moment, his father seemed to be making sense.
“The hulls are empty, Pops. I’m not an idiot. You know that,” he explained through his clenched teeth. That was sure as hell not something they needed to be discussing out in the open with two sheriffs on the beach. His father’s mind was slipping, and he was going to get them in trouble. “I’m taking some to Mrs. Cinderson tonight. Just keep your voice down. Nate and I know what we’re doing.”
“You’re a good boy, Beau.” His father sighed and patted his back.
Grady’s heart sank through his feet and landed somewhere in the vicinity of the ocean water beneath their dock.
“I’m Grady, Pops. Did you take your pills this morning?”
Mac rolled his eyes dramatically. “Look, Deputy, I’ve told ya, Ryan McNamara told you, and a dozen other people that legally own land and pay taxes here — even though we have Gypsy blood — have told you that those symbols are all over the internet and haven’t been used in the last six decades. If that’s all of the evidence you have, why are you out here harassing me and my customers? Did you try searching for the stolen items or fingerprinting the homes that were broken into?”
“That’s none of your nevermind, Montgomery. We’re following all the leads, and they all lead us right out here.”
Nadya stopped on the staircase and listened. Another fitful night of elusive slumber made her excited to finally see the sunrise. Maybe she should have taken those sleeping pills the doctor offered her when she’d driven herself to the clinic after Peter had attempted to physically stop her from leaving. The idea of drugging herself to sleep felt wrong. It frightened her. She had to be alert always; besides, she already felt she existed in a hazy reality. Nothing about her life felt real. The sensation that she was living in a muted nightmare where she c
ould see everyone but no one could see or hear her was the only existence she known for the last few years. She’d gone so long without sleep she wasn’t certain she could survive much longer. Maybe once she settled at the Inn, she’d feel safe enough to really sleep again.
She needed to feel real, whole, alive, and as soon as those stupid bruises on her face healed she was going out to that beach to locate her soul. She could see when Nate or Grady’s boats went out in the morning. There was no reason she couldn’t restore herself without running into one of them. She just didn’t have the fortitude to see Grady. She’d hurt him too badly, but she had to save herself.
She tucked herself around the corner as Ryan and Sienna edged a sheriff’s deputy back towards the front door.
“If you’d like to get a warrant to search our home, go for it, but without one, you can leave, now,” Ryan ordered angrily. “No one on Gypsy Beach has stolen anything. You’re so damned and determined to find your culprit here, you’re missing whoever is actually doing this.”
“We got an anonymous tip that someone saw an old, black Ford truck at one of the houses that was hit last night,” the deputy retorted.
“I have a three-year old, custom Chevy Suburban that is tan. Why are you here?”
“There’s a truck fittin’ that description down at the docks. You know who that belongs to?”
“We have no idea,” Sienna lied. It seemed obvious to Nadya, but she’d known Sienna most of her life. Her heart raced. Did Grady still have his old truck? Surely he’d traded it in on something nicer. She would have thought the old Ford was nothing more than a rust heap by now.
The deputy sighed. “If you see anything, let me know.”
When the door closed, Nadya made her appearance. Even without sleep, her ribs felt better. She could move with a little more ease. “What was that all about?”