My Wicked Little Lies

by Victoria Alexander

  “We had just broadened our acquaintance.”

  “Yes, of course.” She searched for the words. “Let’s see ...‘Do not think this is a casual desire on my part. You have filled my thoughts these past two years.’ ”

  Evelyn groaned.

  “ ‘In your last note you said you regret that we had never met. That, my dear lovely Eve, may well be greatest regret of my life. Yours always.’” Celeste raised a stunned gaze to meet Evelyn’s. “ ‘Sir.’ ”

  “Charming, isn’t it?” Evelyn said in a wry manner.

  “Oh, my God, yes.” Celeste sat down on the sofa beside her and stared. “It’s not merely charming but might well be the most romantic thing I have ever read. Not meeting you is the biggest regret of his life? Why, it’s intoxicating and nearly irresistible.”

  Evelyn shook her head. “Not to me.”

  “Are you sure?” Celeste glanced at the note in her hand.

  “Absolutely.”

  “But there was a time—”

  “That time is past,” Evelyn said firmly.

  “You’re not the least bit, well, moved by his words?”

  “Moved?” She scoffed. “What is there to be moved by?” She plucked the note from Celeste’s hand and waved it. “Admittedly, these are fine words. ‘My dear lovely Eve,’ ‘Yours always,’ ‘greatest regret of my life,’ but they have no real meaning.” She tossed the note back onto the table. “The man has always hidden behind the veil of secrecy required by his position and our work. Now, after all this time, now he chooses to tell me of feelings that, quite frankly, make no difference to me.” She thought for a moment. “One does have to wonder what he wants.”

  Celeste chose her words with care. “It sounds as though what he wants is you.”

  “Nonsense. It doesn’t sound that way to me at all. More than likely, his return to the department and his renewed communication with me have brought about ...” She searched for the right words. “Feelings of sentiment, which are probably no more than momentary aberrations.” She met her friend’s gaze firmly. “And I think you are reading far more into this note than is really there.”

  “Oh, I daresay—”

  “This regret of his that we have never met in person is no more significant than if I were to say I regret never having had the opportunity to ride an elephant or sail the blue waters of the West Indies or dance naked on a rooftop under the stars.”

  Celeste raised a brow. “Dance naked on a rooftop?”

  Evelyn waved away the comment. “It was an example.”

  “Of regrets.”

  “I have any number of regrets every bit as frivolous as that,” she said in a lofty manner. “However, as I am not on my deathbed, I am confident that someday I shall ride an elephant or sail blue waters or even dance naked under the stars.”

  Celeste stared. “I had no idea.”

  “Why? Because I have taken so well to the eminently proper life Adrian and I live?”

  “There is that.”

  “My life is everything I have ever wanted it to be.” She aimed a firm look at the other woman. “And my husband is very nearly everything I have ever wanted. Oh, certainly ...” She smiled in a dry manner. “Bringing spring to his heart is not quite as eloquent as not meeting me being the biggest regret of his life. Still, he is a man of substance, not shadow, a living, breathing man who, in spite of his shortcomings, which do seem to increase with every passing day, has my heart. Blast him. There is nothing I can do about that, nor do I wish to do anything about it.” She blew a long breath. “I just wish I was as certain of his feelings.”

  “He did send you flowers.”

  She cast her friend a withering look. “The conservatory, remember.”

  “Are you doubting him?”

  “I am trying not to, but he is not making it easy for me. This all started with my legitimate anger at his actions but now ...” She shook her head. “And I’ve been gone for two nights now. Two nights!”

  “Seems like an eternity,” Celeste murmured.

  “Doesn’t it, though?” Evelyn made a disparaging gesture at Adrian’s flowers. “And this is the only effort he’s made to get me back.”

  “Well, he does think you’re here to oversee the refurbishing.”

  “Then he is not nearly as intelligent as he appears,” she said sharply.

  “Perhaps, as you are giving him the uninterrupted opportunity to see the error of his ways,” Celeste said slowly. “He is giving you time—”

  “To come to my senses?” Her jaw clenched and she looked at her friend. “I am the injured party, am I not?”

  “Of course you are.”

  “Do you know what I really want from him?”

  Celeste shook her head.

  “I want him to show the same passion in winning me back that he did in the pursuit of what he thought was my betrayal.” Even as she said the words, she knew the truth of them. A truth she hadn’t realized until just now. She sighed. “Is that too much to ask?”

  “Not at all,” Celeste said staunchly, then paused. “But perhaps you are expecting too much of him. Lord W has never struck me as a particularly passionate sort.”

  “Oh, but he is. He is a very private man, restrained and controlled. He doesn’t show his emotions easily.” Evelyn got to her feet, stepped to the table, and bent to inhale the fragrance of hyacinth and tulip. “He is passionate about his work in Parliament. He thinks this country can be better and he feels a great responsibility to that end. He is passionate about his family. He would do whatever was necessary to protect them. And he is—was—passionate about me. About us.” She turned back to her friend. “But now he has let me go and thus far has not made much effort to win me back.”

  “You could always return home.”

  “No, I can’t.” She shook her head. “It would be like saying that it’s perfectly fine for him to distrust me. That he did nothing wrong. Why would I return to a man who doesn’t seem to care if I am there or not?”

  “Oh, I don’t believe—”

  “No.” She shook her head. “If we don’t have trust between us, what do we have?”

  “You have never trusted him with your past.”

  “That’s an entirely different thing.” She shrugged off the comment. “He was the one who said our lives before we met weren’t significant.” She smiled wryly. “I suspect that was more to save him from recriminations than anything else.” She met her friend’s gaze. “I think, though, that I would tell him now if he asked.”

  “Because you trust him?”

  “With my past, with my future ...” She sighed. “With my heart. Damnable man.” She paused for a long moment. “And I trust that he loves me. And hopefully, he will soon realize that himself before ...”

  “Before what?”

  “Before I am forced to take measures to make him realize how much he does care.”

  “What kind of measures?” Caution sounded in Celeste’s voice.

  “I don’t know yet.” Evelyn narrowed her eyes. “But I shall think of something.”

  “What are you going to do about Sir?”

  “Nothing.” She shrugged. “There’s nothing to do. His note did not require a response, and I see no need to send one.”

  “But—”

  “But if I am right and you are reading too much into his words, then no response is necessary. If I am wrong, then no response is the wisest course.”

  “No doubt.” Celeste nodded. “Still, he says he wishes to broaden your acquaintance.”

  “Be that as it may, as long as he doesn’t show up on my doorstep, it is not something I am going to concern myself with.”

  “I beg your pardon, Lady Waterston.” Hendricks appeared in the doorway. “You have a caller.”

  Evelyn and Celeste traded uneasy glances.

  “I am sure she will wish to see me,” a familiar voice sounded behind the butler.

  Relief washed through Evelyn and she stepped forward. “I am always delighted
to see you, Helena.”

  “Dearest girl.” Adrian’s mother swept into the room like an avenging angel, sympathy on her face. She took Evelyn’s hands in hers. “How are you bearing up?”

  “Quite well, I think,” Evelyn said cautiously. “And you?”

  “I am most distraught.” She heaved a dramatic sigh. “Most distraught. I came to see you today and was told you were here.” She released Evelyn’s hands and turned to Celeste. “Ah, Miss DeRochette, you are looking lovely as always.”

  “Thank you, Lady Waterston.” She glanced at Evelyn. “If you will excuse me, I have matters to attend to elsewhere in the house.” She nodded at Helena. “Good day, Lady Waterston.”

  “My dear.” Helena watched Celeste take her leave. “What beautiful eyes that young woman has. If she would discard those spectacles and do something more attractive with her hair ...”

  “As much as I always adore seeing you ...” Evelyn narrowed her eyes. “Why are you here?”

  “Why, I’ve come to find out what that beast has done.”

  “That beast?”

  “My son. Your husband.”

  Evelyn chose her words cautiously. “Why do you think—”

  “Goodness, Evelyn, I must have left his father a dozen times or more over the course of thirty years. He would drive me quite mad and then refuse to accept that he was in the wrong. It’s all that inherent aversion to excessive emotion. It’s most annoying and it is in the blood, I’m afraid.”

  “I haven’t left Adrian,” Evelyn said slowly.

  Helena raised a brow.

  “I am simply overseeing the refurbishing of this house.”

  Helena glanced around and smiled pleasantly. “It seems to be going well.”

  “It hasn’t actually started yet.”

  “Of course it hasn’t.” She paused. “You do realize that by giving him a reason—a rational reason like refurbishing—for your absence, you mitigate the need for him to expend any effort to bring you home?”

  Evelyn drew her brows together. “What?”

  “Perhaps I am not being clear.” Helena sat down on the sofa and patted the spot beside her. Evelyn obediently joined her. “By telling your husband you need to reside here to oversee refurbishing, he might well think that’s really why you are here. And not because of any vile transgression on his part. I assume there was a vile transgression?”

  Evelyn started to deny it, then sighed. “Yes.”

  “And he is aware of it?”

  Evelyn narrowed her eyes. “Oh, yes.”

  “But you didn’t say that’s why you were leaving?”

  “Well, no. I thought—”

  “Evelyn, dear, you have only been married for two years. This is the sort of lesson in the handling of husbands that only comes with experience.” She studied her curiously. “I suspect you have never had a serious disagreement before, have you?”

  Evelyn shook her head.

  “Then this type of mistake is to be expected.” She thought for a moment. “You see, right now, there is no need for him to shower you with gifts and pledge his undying love and, yes, grovel, because in his dear little head he can convince himself you are gone for a purpose. That purpose being to supervise work here and not because you are furious with him. You are furious, aren’t you?”

  Evelyn nodded. “I was.”

  “But you miss him and so you are less furious?”

  Evelyn hesitated.

  “I thought so.” Helena nodded. “And now, because he has made no true effort to make up for his misdeeds, you are starting to wonder if he cares at all. And perhaps wonder if you have made a dreadful mistake?”

  “Something like that,” Evelyn murmured.

  “It’s exactly like that and there is no time to waste,” Helena said firmly. “Believe me, I speak from experience. The longer you allow this to drag on, the worse it will become.”

  “Are you saying I should go home?”

  “Has he begged you to return?”

  “No.” Annoying beast.

  “Then you do not return until he does so. To surrender at this point would be to give him the upper hand. Once given, it is nearly impossible to regain, and you will spend the rest of your lives together being someone less than the very confident, competent, strong woman he married. And that will make neither of you happy.” She met her daughter-in-law’s gaze firmly. “No, if your grievance is legitimate—”

  “And it is.”

  “Then you do my son a disservice by not permitting him to realize the value of what he has and the very real possibility he might lose it. And realize as well that it is worth fighting for. He does love you, you know.”

  “I thought so,” Evelyn said under her breath.

  “Do not mistake stubbornness for a lack of affection.” She heaved a heartfelt sigh. “Unfortunately, the men in this family have a great deal in common. They are nothing short of wonderful through the course of the pursuit, but once married, they do tend to rest on their laurels.”

  “Oh no, Helena, I can’t believe ...” Evelyn paused. “Do you really think so?”

  “I think your refurbishment is an excellent excuse for not demanding that you come home.”

  “I hadn’t thought of it that way. But I am certain he understands that refurbishing is not the true reason for my absence.”

  “Nonetheless, as it is a relatively legitimate reason, Adrian might not even realize you are still angry.” Her brows drew together. “Did you leave in a huff? Tossing recriminations and pointed barbs in your wake?”

  “Well, I did say ...” She winced. “Not really.”

  “Oh dear, that is a problem.”

  Evelyn stared. “Why?”

  “Dear girl, you simply must pay attention.” Helena huffed. “Unfortunately, Adrian is a very busy man and you have only been gone for what? Two days now?”

  Evelyn nodded.

  “Not nearly long enough if you are redecorating an entire house and entirely too long if you’re not. But as I am confident he is an intelligent boy, he should fairly soon come to the realization that perhaps you are not simply gone to refurbish and he must take action if he is to win you back.” She smiled. “Although I do see he has sent flowers. Only a first step, mind you, but sending both tulips and roses is certainly a step toward the right direction.”

  “Oh, the roses aren’t ...” Evelyn started without thinking.

  “Not from Adrian?” Helena raised a brow. “I see.”

  “They’re Miss DeRochette’s,” Evelyn said quickly. It wasn’t entirely a lie. She had given Celeste the first two dozen and fully intended for her to have these as well. “I believe she has an admirer.” In truth, she had no idea if Celeste had admirers or not. She’d never said a word. But then there were all sorts of things Celeste kept to herself.

  “I would be surprised if she didn’t,” Helena said firmly.

  “As would I,” Evelyn murmured. She hadn’t thought about it before but it would be surprising if Celeste didn’t have a gentleman in her life. In truth, it would explain quite a lot. When this was all resolved, with the department and Sir, with her husband, she would make a concerted effort to find out her friend’s secrets. Or at least encourage Celeste to confide in her.

  “Now, as I have come to give you advice, I had best get on with it.” Helena met her gaze directly. “First, do not return home until he has won your forgiveness in a matter satisfactory to you.”

  Evelyn bit back a smile. “You said that.”

  “It bears repeating,” Helena said firmly. “Second, if he does not do something soon, oh, a grand gesture of some sort, I would think, you must determine a way to inspire such a gesture. But it is very important he thinks it is his idea.”

  “Do you have any thoughts as to what that might be?” A wry note sounded in Evelyn’s voice.

  “I can’t do this all myself, you know.” Helena cast her a chastising look. “I have given you the benefit of my wisdom; the rest is in your hands.” She got to
her feet, Evelyn following a beat behind. “I said you cannot allow this to continue overly long and that, too, bears repeating. You want to stay away long enough for him to realize he can’t live without you but not so long for him to get used to living without you.” She smiled in a satisfied manner. “Although I doubt that is possible. You know, I never really thought Adrian would marry at all. And then he met you. You, my dear, are the love of his life. Don’t let him muck it up.”

  “I shall do my best.” Evelyn paused. “Don’t you want to know what he did?”

  “Oh my, yes. Why, I am simply burning with curiosity, but I’m not going to ask.” She shook her head. “I know it’s not something insignificant and frivolous because you are far too sensible to be upset over something that doesn’t matter. And if it is something as dreadful as another woman, I might not be able to forgive him for being such an idiot. Nor do I think you would forgive him. Besides, even the most stubborn Hadley-Attwater man would know it would take far more effort than one mere bouquet to atone for that sort of transgression. No, I suspect he has done something far greater than a minor sin and somewhat less than eternal damnation.”

  Evelyn nodded. “Somewhat.”

  “Now, then, I must be on my way.”

  “But I haven’t offered you refreshments. Tea or something ...”

  “Yes, dear, I noticed. It is an obvious measure of how distraught you are and can certainly be forgiven this once.” Helena’s eyes twinkled. “But do not forget I have six other children who expect a certain amount of meddling on my part. I do so hate to disappoint any of them.”

  Evelyn laughed. “Are you making the rounds then?” “I had planned to call on Portia next.” She narrowed her eyes thoughtfully. “That girl has some sort of secret, and she has since she returned from Christmas in Italy. It’s quite shocking really as she has never been able to keep a secret. One does wonder what she is hiding. There doesn’t seem to be anything I can do in regards to Bianca and her husband.” She leaned closer and lowered her voice in a confidential manner. “She and her husband have been estranged now longer than you and Adrian have been married, not that I blame her.” She rolled her gaze toward the ceiling. “I never trusted that man. While there has never been a divorce in the family and I am certainly not encouraging such a thing, her husband is the finest excuse for divorce I have ever seen.” She shrugged. “It’s none of my concern, of course.”