“Grandpa can eat with us, too,” Preston explained excitedly.
“Can he, Noomie? Can he?” Sheldon pressed her. Rufus had already headed for the telephone. He laughed when Judd Logan answered on the fourth ring, because he knew that the telephone was right beside Judd’s chair.
“Merry Christmas, Reverend Logan. This is Rufus Meade. Naomi is here with my boys and me, and we want her to stay for dinner. She says the two of you are going out. Now, why should you go to a restaurant when I’m having a big turkey over here that won’t taste good unless Naomi eats some of it? Be over here in a couple of hours.” Rufus had to dig into himself to contain his amusement. He knew that both Naomi and Judd were probably staring with their mouths open at his audacity.
“You’re big on temerity, aren’t you, boy?” he heard Judd say, after clearing his throat loudly. Rufus leaned around a broad column from which dangled the boys’ collection of miniature crystal airplanes, got a look at the shock on Naomi’s face and allowed himself a joyous belly laugh.
“Just taking a leaf from your book, sir. Well, what do you say? We’d love to have you, and you can meet my boys.”
“Meet your boys, huh? I didn’t know you had any. If my Naomi wants me to, I’ll get over there. Where do you live?”
Rufus stood at the door with his boys, waiting to greet the Revered Judd Logan, as he got out of a big limousine that Rufus had ordered for him and walked unbowed up the winding stone walk. Rufus thought of his own father, how he’d have loved Preston and Sheldon, and gave silent thanks for Judd Logan. Kids needed grandparents, and for today, Judd would do just fine. Wondering about Naomi’s decision to stay in the living room, he opened the door and extended his hand just as the boys ducked beneath his arms and gave the old man what was probably the best greeting.
“Hi, Grandpa,” they said in unison. “Merry Christmas.” Rufus shook his head in wonder. That ninety-four-year-old man didn’t even see his proffered hand, but bent nimbly to the twins’ level and exclaimed, “My heavens, you’re twins. And good-looking ones, too.” The boys dragged Judd into the house, and the old man hadn’t so much as greeted him. Rufus stood at the door, his left hand absently rubbing the back of his neck. What was it about the Logans? They charmed his boys without even trying. He took Naomi to the kitchen with him, explaining that he wanted to fix Judd some mulled cranberry juice.
“He hasn’t said a word to me, Naomi. What do you think he’s up to?” He figured from her deep frown that she was as perplexed as he. After a moment she responded.
“My grandpa doesn’t hold grudges, so he’s not sore because you were smart with him. Anyway, he probably admired you for that. I think he’s besotted with the boys. Right now they’ve got him down in their basement empire. I hope he’s got sense enough to stay off their trampoline, but you don’t rate with them unless you bounce around that thing.”
“What about me? What do I have to bounce around on to rate with you?” He felt her tense slightly, but he didn’t care; a man had to make hay while the sun was shining. He set the bottle of cranberry juice on the table without taking his eyes from hers and moved toward her. “What do I have to do, Naomi?” She backed away, and he moved slowly and surely to her until her back touched the wall. His heart skipped a beat at the suddenly accelerated pace of her breathing and the telltale quiver of her lower lip. Even as he reached for her, she came to meet him, her lips already parted in anticipation of what she knew he’d give her.
He used what strength he could muster and resisted kissing her. “I’m hungry for you, sweetheart, but I can’t stand the punishment of a couple of kisses. I can’t have what I need from you, so I’ll just content myself with the fact that you’re here with me and my boys. That’s more than I’d hoped for, so I’ll just wait.” He’d always loved her smooth, delicate skin, dark like perfectly caramelized brown sugar. He let the backs of his fingers gently graze her cheeks. “Ah, Naomi, it isn’t written anywhere that a person has to be perfect. You love me with all my shortcomings. Why can’t you open up and…” He almost said, Let me love you. Maybe the problem was both of them, not just Naomi. He saw in her turbulent brown eyes a need as great as his own and eased away from her.
“You said you’d just wait, Rufus. Wait for what?” He grinned one of those grins that he’d come to realize unsettled her.
“You’re kidding. Right?”
She shook her head. “I want to know.” He rested his hip against the marble countertop and folded his arms. “We can take this up another time, if you’d like. In fact, I want us to do just that. But today’s Christmas, and it feels good having you here. Judd, too, though he hasn’t bothered to acknowledge my presence. Let’s avoid deep talk, okay? Soul splitting conversation is bad for the digestion.” He whirled her around and kissed her hard and quickly on her eager lips. Then he took a tray with the pitcher of cranberry juice and five mugs into the living room, let the caterers in, and called Judd and the boys upstairs. After teasing Judd about ignoring him, he served the drinks and announced that Judd would tell them some stories.
He liked the twinkle in the old man’s eyes when he said, “Rufus—I expect I can call you that, since you got so familiar with me this morning—I see you like to play hardball. I practically ordered you to my house, and now you’ve commanded me to yours. We’re even.”
Rufus laughed. “I stand corrected, sir.” He looked at his boys, each comfortably ensconced on one side of Judd, drinking in his every word. Rufus was happier than he ever remembered being, and pretty soon he was going to be even happier, he promised himself.
But for Naomi, while the day was far more than she’d expected, it was less than it could have been. She was sure Judd was happier than he’d been since he’d lost her grandmother. The years had seemed to fall away from him when he’d looked at Aaron. At least she’d given him that much. She’d hung back when Rufus and the boys had gone to the door to greet him, because to stand there with them would have been too much like a happy couple and their children greeting a guest. Too much like the scenarios of her dreams. And there was Aaron. She was thankful for the beginnings of a relationship with him, but she couldn’t help wanting them to be together for Christmas dinner. She caught Judd watching her furtively and scolded herself for wanting it all. Four out of five wasn’t bad; in fact, it was a pretty high percentage. But why couldn’t she be with Rufus and the twins every day, all the time, forever? She closed her eyes tightly, calming herself. She wanted so badly to tell him, but she wouldn’t be able to bear his contempt. Why should he judge her less harshly than he did his own mother?
Naomi realized that Judd was telling the boys a story about her one Christmas when she was a little girl. Embarrassed, she glanced quickly at Rufus and had to struggle to hide the excitement that surged through her as his heated gaze devoured her. She shook her head slowly, clearing her mind, trying to relieve the tension. Rufus grinned deliberately, and she laughed, grateful to him for undoing the damage he’d just caused. They both looked at Judd, whose knowing wink told them that their secret wasn’t that anymore.
Rufus stood and extended a hand to Naomi. “Come on, everybody, let’s open the gifts. I promised the boys we’d do it before dinner. They got some teasers this morning so they’d settle down. Sorry, we don’t have presents for you, Judd.”
“Your company is all the present I need. Being here is gift enough.” Rufus grazed his jaw with his forefinger, deep in thought. Older people had no business living by themselves, not even when they were as independent as Judd Logan. No wonder the old man was so imperious; he needed companions.
“I hope you won’t make this your last visit.” He didn’t doubt that his statement pleased Naomi’s grandfather, who sat with an arm around each boy. They opened gifts and enjoyed the miracle of children at Christmas. Mr. Ernest, the caterer, announced that dinner was served, and Rufus reached for Naomi’s hand.
“What kind of impression are you trying to give my grandpa?” she hissed, earning one of his wicked grins.
“He’s grown, has been for years. It’s been decades since anybody fooled Judd Logan, so I’m not depriving myself of the pleasure of holding your hand, thinking that he doesn’t know what’s going on with us. Come on. And I want you to sit opposite me at my table.” They walked down the long hall toward the dining room ahead of Judd and the boys, holding hands.
“The two of you have so much in common that it’s eerie,” she told him, and he hoped her pout was pretense. “He’s a Capricorn, born December thirty-first. What about you?”
Rufus laughed heartily and squeezed her hand. “Naomi, you won’t believe this; my birthday is January second. I’m a Capricorn, but I’m not bossy, like Judd. No way.” She looked skyward, as though invoking heavenly powers to deal with such blasphemy. Judd said grace, and Rufus told himself he had better start taking the boys to Sunday school.
Preston and Sheldon didn’t want Judd to leave, but he soothed them by getting their promise to visit him. Rufus watched the limousine as it turned the corner carrying Judd Logan to Alexandria. If he ever got Naomi to marry him, could they make Judd a part of their family? If you’ve been head of your own house for seventy years, you’re not likely to accept another man in that position. Well, he could build a guest cottage out near the little brook. He walked back into the living room; such thoughts were premature. He’d learned during his football playing days never to try running with a ball before he’d caught it. Still, when he told the old man his intentions about Naomi, Judd happily gave his blessings, along with a warning that getting her wouldn’t be easy. Judd hadn’t disagreed when he’d said that Naomi seemed weighted down with personal problems, and he hadn’t seemed surprised that she refused to share them with him. “Get her to trust you deep down,” Judd had said. “That’s the key, son.” He knew it was going to be tough, though he didn’t understand why. And if she knew he’d spoken to Judd about them while she was out of the room, she’d be furious.
The boys didn’t want to go to sleep. It wasn’t just the day’s excitement, he knew; they were afraid that when they woke up, Naomi wouldn’t be there. She pulled a chair up between their beds, lowered the lamp, and sang softly to them, lulling them. Her soft, sultry voice soothed the boys, whose eyelids soon became heavy; but it didn’t soothe him. His emotions splintered like ancient shards at the sights of her loving his children, nurturing them in a way that was new to them and that they seemed to love. As she kissed each of them goodnight, he had to restrain a powerful urge to reach for her and hold her to him. But they no longer had chaperons, and he wasn’t going to the brink with her tonight. If he touched her, she’d go up in flames, though nothing would have changed. And nothing would until she put her cards on the table. He was in this for the long haul, to win, and he was smart enough to realize that each time he gave her a chance to tell him no, saying no to him became easier for her. He rested a hand lightly on her shoulder.
“They’re asleep. Let’s go down and get something to drink.” He took her hand and walked down the curved stairs with her, reflecting on her unusual quietness throughout the day.
“You haven’t been very talkative, today, Naomi. Was it because of Judd’s presence, or did something happen to make you so quiet and pensive?” He put the coffee on and set a tray, remembering to add pieces of the coconut cake that was Louella’s present to him and his boys. They went into the living room and sat on the loveseat at a right angle to the fireplace.
Naomi smiled at Rufus’s perceptiveness. “I’ve been awed, to tell the truth. I don’t remember having spent such a wonderful Christmas with my grandpa. He seemed so much at home here. And he was happy. Are you really going to let the boys visit him?”
Rufus sipped his coffee and looked at her, rather sternly, she thought. “Naomi, if I told him I’d take the boys to visit him, that’s what I’ll do. I keep my word. And beside, you don’t think Preston and Sheldon would let me forget that promise, do you? Why did you change the subject?” His voice lowered, and she sensed anxiety in him. “I really want to know whether you’ve been happy here today.” She got the impression that he cared deeply about her answer.
She crossed her right leg and swung her foot, playing for time. For composure. She didn’t want him to know how the day had affected her, what joining their families for the festive occasion had meant to her. With effort, she told him in a casual voice, “Rufus, I don’t remember a day in my life that was happier than this one.” Then, not wanting to sound overly sentimental, she joshed, “As a host, you’re a class act, though the boys are already giving you a run for your money.”
His smile was humorless. “Have you forgotten your promise not to cover your real feelings with clever repartee?” How could she forget it? By agreeing to that, she’d let him take away her props, leaving her vulnerable, without defense, against his powerful attraction for her. She was suddenly aware of the heat that emanated from him, of his strength and solid manliness. Quickly, she jumped up.
“I’d better go. It’s seven-thirty, and I have to get up early tomorrow.” She started toward the hallway, and he followed. She was glad he didn’t attempt to persuade her to stay longer.
“And my grandpa will call me no later than six-thirty in the morning to give me his views on you and the boys,” she went on. “I’m as sure of that as I am of my name.” She reached for the doorknob, but his hard, masculine hand covered hers, halting her.
“When will I see you again, Naomi?” His heated gaze sent her pulse skidding rapidly, and she opened her mouth to give him a day, then thought of Aaron and turned away.
“We’d better leave things as they were, Rufus. I told you that if I ever get things together, I’ll come to you, and we’ll talk.” The fire that she saw in his eyes suddenly became impersonal, and she knew he was about to lose a battle with his temper. She struggled not to panic when he suddenly closed the distance between them, towered over her, and pulled her into his arms.
“Have you ever seen a puppet as big as I am? One that you can dangle according to your whims, huh? Have you?” His words and tone sounded agreeable, but she knew by the fiery daggers in his eyes and the involuntary twitch of his jaw that he was spitting mad.
“Do I at least get a kiss for Christmas?” In his arms, under his spell, feeling his strength, she didn’t have the energy or the desire to speak. He had only to lock his heady gaze on her to scramble her brain. He didn’t wait for her reply, and she met his mouth with parted lips. She had expected his kiss to be an avalanche, a roaring fire. It wasn’t, and she shuddered at its tender possessiveness and clung to him, saturated with need.
His eyes didn’t betray his feelings, and she barely had control of hers. “What…what is it, Rufus? I thought you were furious with me, but you…you can’t kiss me like this if you’re angry—can you?”
“I hate to end Christmas Day like this, Naomi, especially since I don’t remember being happier. But I’m tired of this. I’m almost thirty-five years old, and I didn’t make out like this when I was nineteen. I’m serious about us, Naomi. I’ve told you that often enough, so I assume you know it and that when you’re ready, you’ll do something about it. When you do get around to it, I may still be serious, but there’s a chance that I may not be. I hope you haven’t mistaken passion for love, because there’s an important difference.” He walked her to her car. “Drive carefully, and don’t play your cards too close to your chest. Oh, and call me so I’ll know you’re home safe.”
Uneasiness stole over her when he walked away before she turned the key in the ignition. Was he preparing himself psychologically to stop feeling protective toward her? She pulled out of his driveway slowly, telling herself it was what she wanted, but she no longer believed that. She drove past the beautiful homes, festively decorated and welcoming, with shades up and blinds open. Many fami
lies were still at their dinner tables. She thought back on the day, and happiness surged through her. She’d had a real family Christmas, and she had shared the morning with Aaron.
Nobody’s life was perfect; you changed what you could, and what you couldn’t change, you accepted. Some people didn’t, and that’s why psychiatrists were rich. She laughed. They weren’t getting a shot at her. She glanced at her small tree as she walked into her living room; it hadn’t seemed so puny until Aaron had scoffed at it. The memory prompted a smile; he’d promised to get her a big one next year. She reached for the phone to call Rufus and stopped. What right did he have to judge her feelings for him when he hadn’t once told her what he felt?
And how could he demand that she pour out her insides to him when he hadn’t ever given her a solid reason for doing so? Maybe she wasn’t the only one having a problem with trust. She kicked off her shoes and reached for the phone. Maybe he didn’t reciprocate what she felt.
“Hi. I’m home. Thanks for a special Christmas. Kiss the boys for me. ’Bye.” She hadn’t given him a chance to do more than greet her. The phone rang, just as she’d expected.
“Good night, Naomi.” Furious, was he? Her spirits soared at the thought of Rufus battling his temper, knowing that he’d overreacted to her little mischief. “If I’m not careful, I’ll go absolutely nuts over that guy, and then where will I be?”
Chapter 16
Naomi crawled out of bed, dragged herself into the kitchen and got a cup of instant coffee. Then she put on a pot of real coffee and waited for her grandfather’s telephone call. Judd was as predictable as night and day, so she wouldn’t have to wait long. She lifted the receiver on the first ring.
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