“You’re being foolish not to tell him what’s in your heart, gal.”
“I can’t, Grandpa. All those times he gave me the chance, I didn’t take it. If he’d given me even a little sign, I’d go for it. But he keeps me at a distance.”
Judd raised one eyebrow. “In my days, if a man cared for a girl, she could get him to do just about anything short of dishonoring himself. What’s the matter with you young people?” Shaking his head, he left her standing there and went to the kitchen where Rufus was changing a recessed light bulb in the ceiling.
Rufus looked down from his perch on a ladder. He’d been expecting Judd to corner him for an inquisition. The old man looked up and squinted. “You’re good about letting my Naomi depend on you, boy, but you’re still giving her a hard time. I want to know exactly why you’re here every day.”
Rufus grinned. He cared a lot for Naomi’s grandfather, but he wasn’t going to let him treat him like a child. “You’re meddling again. But I suppose it’s too late to stop you; you’ve made a lifelong career of telling people what to do. Naomi is mine, Judd, and I am going to take care of her. And if you’re smart, you’ll refrain from tattling.”
He watched Judd walk away with a pretended indifference, but he knew that his words had pleased the old man. Let Naomi figure out for herself the mistake she’d made with him. She was ready for a reconciliation, but he wasn’t. He needed her. His body ached for her, and he missed her weird humor, and their warm camaraderie. But for the first time in his life, he appreciated the virtue of patience. He wasn’t giving an inch until she came to him, opened her heart to him, and let him know that she trusted him completely and needed him.
Chapter 18
Naomi opened the door for Rufus, mumbled, “Hello,” and left him to trail her as she walked back to her room. “Why didn’t you let yourself in?” she threw at him over her shoulder, and blanched at his smooth retort.
“I was reminding myself that I don’t really live here.” She’d asked for that, but being with him constantly while he treated her like a discarded shoe was wearing on her. Nothing seemed to ruffle him.
She turned to him, tossing her head arrogantly. “Have no fear. I hadn’t forgotten it.” He grinned, and tremors shot through her as she stared at the dancing lights in his eyes and felt his blatant masculinity leap at her. But as quickly as he’d turned on the charm, he extinguished it, reminding her that they were still at odds.
“I’d like to take Aaron over to my place this afternoon, give him a change of scenery for a while. And he thinks he’d like to try using my on-line computer service, make friends with some fellows his age in Texas, California, or wherever.” He paused, and her hair crackled with electricity as he eyed her knowingly, like a man going in for the kill. “Whose permission do I get? Yours, or Rosalie’s?” She turned away, uncertain as to her next move.
“I’m too tired to go right now, Mr. Meade,” Aaron called from his room, letting them know he’d heard their conversation.
She fought against the tension that churned within her as Rufus’s mouth curved in a mocking grin. “He’s very protective of you. I wonder how he got so tired this early in the day while lying in bed. Preston could have thought up a better one than that.”
Naomi sucked in a deep breath. How had it come to this? She tried to hide her vulnerability to him and lowered her eyes to prevent his seeing what she knew they mirrored. When she looked up at him, her heart pounded furiously at the pain in his eyes, the pain of a tortured person. Her hand went out to him of its own volition; taken unawares, he grasped it and clung to it for a moment. Then she watched unhappily as a curtain of indifference seemed to descend over him. Wordlessly, he turned and went into Aaron’s room.
She went into her own room, closed the door, and telephoned Rosalie. “What shall I tell Rufus? If Aaron wants to go with him, do you mind?” She waited anxiously for Rosalie’s answer, for this clue to their future relationship, for the first evidence she’d have of how far Rosalie would allow her tie with Aaron to go.
“Naomi, when Aaron is with you, he’s responsible to you. If it’s a question of policy, of course I must be consulted, but ordinarily, you decide. As time goes on and we get to know each other better, it’ll be easier.” Naomi wondered at her long pause before she continued in the same gentle voice. “I am definitely not suggesting that we share parenting; that wouldn’t make sense. But I want Aaron to have a good, healthy relationship with you, and that means obeying and respecting you. So far, our relationship has been good for all of us. I’ll be over after work.”
Naomi paced the floor. She’d have to find out what Aaron wanted; then she’d speak with Rufus. He had deliberately put her on the spot, indirectly challenging her to explain the relationship between Rosalie, Aaron and herself, though she was certain he’d figured it out.
She found Aaron alone, pensive and anxious for her. He raised up and braced himself on his right elbow. “Noomie, I don’t want you and Mr. Meade to be mad at each other because of me. I called my mom, and she said I can suit myself if you agree, so why don’t you tell him I’ll go to his place after lunch? I like him, Noomie, and I want to see those little rascals of his.” He took her hand in his. “You have to make up with him. Promise.”
Joy swelled within her. He cared for her, wanted her to be happy. She looked at her son, shook her head at the changes in him, and asked him a question that Rufus had once asked her. “I promise, but whatever happened to your gnawing wit? You’ve gotten so serious lately.”
He placed his hand under his chin, knitted his eyebrows, and pretended to be an old sage. “We’re dealing with serious stuff here, Noomie.” Her musical laughter filled the room, and he laughed with her.
“I could use a good laugh.” She glanced up as Rufus entered the room. Did his eyes always sparkle like diamonds, and did she feel seduced every time she saw him smile? Emotion muffled her words as he walked toward her, carelessly self-possessed. Her hand clutched her throat as she forced herself to speak calmly.
“Aaron wants to go with you, and there’s no reason why he can’t.”
“None?” he asked sardonically.
Aaron heaved himself up in bed. “Mr. Meade, if Noomie says it’s okay, it’s okay.” The both stared at Aaron; the testiness in his voice was unmistakable.
Rufus grimaced slightly. The boy could be touchy. “I’ll be ready when you are, son.”
Rufus observed that Aaron was unusually quiet. He had a right to be irritated; blood was thicker than water, he’d always been told. The boy knew he’d been putting pressure on Naomi, and he suspected Aaron knew why. He admired her strength, her old-fashioned grit. Strong men would have fallen under what she’d endured during the past month: his discovery of her secret; Aaron’s near-fatal accident; her peculiar arrangement with Aaron and Rosalie; having a man she loved so close every day and so detached. He doubted that he’d have borne it all as gracefully. She was vulnerable and raw on the inside, and he was half mad with her for refusing to relent and talk to him. Lord, how he wanted to comfort her, hold her, love her. He sighed deeply. Stubborn woman!
Naomi used her afternoon of freedom to visit Marva. She needed to talk to someone who would give her the blunt truth. Judd had already voiced his thoughts, but he seemed to have taken out a life membership in the Rufus Meade for everything club and was biased. She knew immediately that she wouldn’t be able to speak candidly with her friend. She found Marva knitting booties and unable or unwilling to consider any topic other than her marvelous pregnancy, as she called it. She left Marva, disappointed.
A letter in her mailbox gave Naomi cause for celebration. She telephoned Linda at home to tell her that if she maintained a B average until she finished high school, she’d have her choice of at least three universities with a full scholarship. Linda’s screams and confessions of love must have attracted her mother’
s suspicion, because Linda’s mother took the phone and inquired, with some hostility, as to the caller’s identity. To Naomi’s amusement, the woman’s reaction to the news was identical to her daughter’s. She couldn’t hold back the tears that streaked her cheeks and colored her voice; Linda had a chance at a fruitful, happy life. It was up to her, and Naomi didn’t doubt she’d seize the opportunity. Naomi had a sense of triumph, of having finished a difficult task, when Linda’s mother invited her to have a meal with them. It had not been easy, but she’d made a friend.
She sat in a leather chair in her living room, sipped mint tea, and contemplated the changes in her life over the past half year. Her euphoria at Linda’s good news disappeared. She hadn’t known she’d felt so alone until Rosalie arrived.
“Why are you sitting here without lights, Naomi? Are you all right?” Maybe it was the concern with which she spoke, or even the quiet, compassionate way she had of talking. She seemed to invite confidence. A floodgate sprang open and within seconds, Naomi found herself pouring out her soul to this stranger who’d become her friend. She omitted nothing.
“What’ll I do, Rosalie? I love him with every fiber of my being. He is my world, my life. I thought I could get him out of my mind and out of my heart, but now I know I can’t. I love Aaron, and I need Rufus. I made a terrible mistake.”
Rosalie walked over to the sofa, sat beside Naomi, and put her arms around the mother of her adopted son. “You carried a terrible load for a long time, Naomi, and because of unfounded fear, you kept it all inside. Just when the load got bigger, you found someone with whom you could share it, but you couldn’t let go of the fear. You couldn’t trust. Rufus hasn’t been here for you night and day since Aaron got hurt just because he doesn’t have anything else to do. Have you asked yourself why? My mother used to tell me that ‘pride goes before destruction and a haughty stumble before a fall.’”
Her deep-set brown eyes misted, and for a moment, she seemed to be reliving a treasured experience. “I wouldn’t let pride keep me out of the arms of a man like Rufus Meade.” She went on. “Stuff your pride, Naomi. Let him know you have faith in him, that you trust him. It’s all you need to do.”
Naomi watched Rosalie’s suddenly brilliant smile. “Now I know we’re friends; you’ve never told that to anyone else. Well, I’ve always wanted a sister, and you’ll do nicely.”
“No, I haven’t,” Naomi, confirmed. “And now that I know what I’ve missed, never having had a sister, I’m definitely going to cherish the one I’ve got now. Let me get you some more coffee.” They talked about their lives and familiarized themselves with each other until Rufus brought Aaron back.
“Will you stay for dinner? It’s not much, but there’s fried chicken.” She wanted him to stay, and she couldn’t keep the note of hope out of her voice. His leaving would have been easier to accept if he’d shown any reluctance, but he hadn’t.
“I promised Preston and Sheldon I’d be right back. We’ll have to do this again soon, Aaron; my boys and I enjoyed having you with us.” He nodded to Rosalie and Naomi. “Good night. I can let myself out.”
Rosalie had gone home, and Naomi sat by Aaron’s bed, listening to his excited account of his afternoon with the Meade family. “He’s a great guy, Noomie, Cat Meade practically walks on water.”
He slanted his head in a sly grin. “Of course, you do, too—walk on water, I mean.” Her eyes widened, and he patted her hand. “Don’t get a big head now.” She watched as his light olive toned face suddenly curled into a deep frown, his youthful expression becoming serious and strained. “What you told me about when I was born…you know…that stuff about the pressure those people put on you. I believe you. Now that I know you, I can’t imagine that you’d willingly have given me up for adoption. I love my mom, Noomie; she’s my mom. But I’ve got a real special place in here for you, too.” He pointed to his heart. “I’m lucky my mom is the kind of person she is; otherwise I wouldn’t know you.”
He used the corner of the sheet to wipe away his mother’s tears. “I’m going to try and be a son to you. I promise.”
His words warmed her as would a brilliant light, and comforted her, completing the catharsis that had begun with her confession to Rosalie. “I didn’t even pray for this, Aaron, because I didn’t think it possible for you to love me; I was just hoping you’d like me enough to be with me sometime. You…you’re my heart; you’re precious to me, and I care deeply for Rosalie, too.” She sniffled a few times and had to fight off her emotions. A woman’s tears made a man uncomfortable, and sensing that, like most of them, Aaron had low tolerance for heavy emotional scenes, she rose. “I’ll get us some ginger ale, or would you rather have a Coke with a couple of scoops of vanilla ice-cream?”
He rewarded the suggestion with a broad grin and his thumbs-up sign. “Noomie,” he called after her. “You, my mom, and me are straight. Now all you have to do is get it together with Mr. Meade.”
Rufus entered his house through the garage door and rubbed his arms vigorously. Washington wasn’t usually so rough in winter, but the entire East Coast was in the clutches of a cold wave. He called a taxi for the sitter, sent her home, and ran upstairs to let his boys know he’d returned. He went back downstairs and made hot chocolate for the three of them, got a tray, and stopped. He could have stayed and had supper with Naomi. She had wanted it so badly, and her wordless entreaty had nearly made him lose his resolve. But if he allowed himself to weaken, all would be lost and she’d never open up to him. Unless she came to him, she wouldn’t know that he didn’t want to judge her, only to have her complete trust.
He rubbed the back of his neck. Being around her constantly, looking at her, and brushing against her for almost four long weeks had tested his self-control, tried him to the limits of his willpower. But he was damned if he’d give in. He swallowed the saliva that had suddenly accumulated in his mouth. Memories of her woman’s scent in the heat of passion assaulted his olfactory senses, and he could feel again her long, silky legs rubbing against his, caressing him as she writhed uninhibitedly beneath him. His blood rushed through his body, telling him how long it had been since he’d loved her. Something had to happen; their standoff had to end, and soon. He picked up the tray and slowly climbed the stairs, deep in thought.
Naomi telephoned her grandfather early the next morning. He wasn’t going to like what she had to say, but as he’d said, there was no going back.
“Naomi gal, you can’t let well enough alone, can you? Why would you walk into that pit of snakes and present them with the ammunition they’ll use to kill your chances? If you take Aaron with you to that school board meeting, you’ll never be elected board president. You can find another way to let him know what he means to you.”
She had expected him to react that way, but she had to make certain that Aaron would never again think her ashamed of him. She told Judd as much.
“All right, gal. I think you might regret it, but being president of that bunch of snipers is nothing compared to what Aaron means to us. If you’d listened to me, I would never have known my great-grandson. You go on and do what you have to do. You always did, and I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks, Grandpa. Aaron loves us, and we’ve got to show him it’s mutual. His last name is Hopkins, but he’s family, and he accepts that. I’ll let you know what happens at the board meeting.”
She brought Aaron’s breakfast to him and sat beside him with her own tray. “Noomie, I can eat at the table. You’re spoiling me.”
Her gaze swept lovingly over his handsome face. “I’m making up for lost time. Besides, I think you’re wrong. Rufus told me the doctor said you shouldn’t move around too much for another week yet.”
As if he’d been waiting for that cue, he placed his tray beside him on the bed, put both hands behind his head, and leaned against the headboard. “You know, Noomie, I think Mr. Meade must be crazy about
you. The radio said it was eight degrees and icy outside, and he drove all the way over here to bring you a bottle of milk and a carton of eggs that we could have done without. ’Course, I’m glad he threw in the ice-cream and Coke.”
She knew he noticed the clatter of her cup and saucer as she placed them with trembling fingers on the table beside her. Her throat constricted in pain as she forced out her words.
“If he’s crazy about me, you and he are the only ones who know it.”
Aaron leaned toward her. “I’m a kid, Noomie, but somebody half my age would pick up on that. I’ve seen him looking at you, just as I’ve seen you looking at him. You mean he’s never told you anything about how he feels?”
“Never, Aaron, and I don’t want you to talk to me about it. There was a time when I might have been able to straighten it out, but it’s too late now. At first, we didn’t like what we saw in each other; then we got close, but I couldn’t tell him about my life, so I kept a barrier between us. He figured it all out for himself that night, and I guess he couldn’t accept it. Don’t think badly of him, Aaron; this mess is my fault. I knew better than to get involved with him.”
He seemed restless and his expression turned hard. “Does Mr. Meade know you love him? I mean, did you ever tell him?”
She looked down at her hands, remembering that night. He had pushed her over the edge, controlling her senses, igniting her, blackmailing her with her wanton hunger for his possession. Then his body had consumed hers with blazing tongues of fire as he’d driven her to mind-shattering ecstasy. Tremors colored her voice. “Once, I told him.”
Sealed With a Kiss Page 32