by Geri Watson
Star tilted her head and smiled. "Thanks." Alex was such a caring guy; she'd always liked that about him.
His jade eyes sparkled as he smiled back at her. "You're in a better mood than you were Friday."
"Well, I told you I had a lot on my mind." She finished her muffin and sipped her drink.
"I'm glad, your smile is too gorgeous to be hidden behind a frown," he said, taking her hand as they walked out.
She laughed. "That was pretty sappy, even for you."
"But it's true!" he laughed in return.
Alex bought their tickets and took her arm in his again. As they walked from one exhibit to another, Star found herself thinking that Tristan would have liked this museum as much as she did.
Scolding herself for thinking about him, she squeezed Alex's arm and walked over to examine a large painting behind some ropes. She'd been to this museum more times than she could count, but the artifacts and exhibits still took her breath away each time she saw them. What she liked was that Alex never seemed to tire of the place as well, either that or he tolerated it for her sake.
They arrived at the traveling Arthurian Era exhibit, and Star was in awe of the pieces that made up the collection. One, in particular, made her eyes well up, but for entirely other reasons. It was a tapestry depicting the tragic tale of Tristan and Iseult. Striking a chord with her, for obvious reasons, she tried to walk away from it but was compelled to soak it in instead.
Star had never been the type of person to look for signs of fate to tell her what to do or what path to take. Seeing this made her wonder, though. Of all times for the exhibit to visit their city and for Alex to see it and take her here? Once again though, this couple had been doomed and got no happy ending for their love story.
The museum had a restaurant attached, but they decided that they'd wait and eat earlier to avoid the dinner rush at the restaurant instead. The pair lingered at the art exhibits and discussed the pieces that they hadn't before. Star got lost in the history of it all and the wonders of unique interpretation for each piece. Alex had a fresh look on everything, and his views were always upbeat, whereas hers tended to be more realist or pessimistic. Their debates were friendly, and he often ended up making her laugh, the sound echoing through the halls. She was having a good time.
Once they got to the Italian restaurant, Star was starving. They ordered a sampler platter for an appetizer and put in an order for their meals. Alex picked out a glass of wine that he assured her would complement the Chicken Marsala perfectly. She trusted him; he was usually pretty astute when it came to his wines. He reached across the table and took her hand in his.
"Today has been perfect, wouldn't you say?"
"I'd say so," she nodded.
"You seemed to enjoy the Arthurian exhibit. I think I even saw you tearing up at one point," Alex teased. "Must have touched you."
"Mhm," she responded, after sipping the wine the waiter poured into her glass. "It did." She didn't want to think about Tristan right now.
"You know why I like this place so much?" he asked.
"Hm... the classy music?" she guessed. There was always some classical piece playing in the background.
"That's nice too, but that's not my favorite," he smirked in her direction.
She looked down in her lap and back up at him. "Cloth napkins?"
Alex laughed heartily. "No. That's not it either."
"I don't know," Star laughed lightly. "Tell me."
"See this?" he tapped the lit candle between them.
"Yes," she answered, wondering where he was going with this.
"This right here is my favorite part. Seeing the flames dance in your eyes. It gives you such a free-spirited look." Alex shook his head slightly. "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you."
Star blushed and turned away from him. "You flatter me too much, Alex."
"You deserve it," he said sincerely.
Their food arrived, and they ate quietly. Star praised Alex for his wine choice once she sampled it with her Chicken Marsala. He mock-bowed and made her giggle. After dinner, he drove her home and walked her back to the apartment.
She invited him in, and since Zack was still up, he joined them for a few drinks. The three of them talked about the museum and what they had done that day. Zack got stuck working again because the girl that was supposed to be there got sick. At one point Zack was describing the idiocy of two parents that were on campus taking a tour with their son. The details and hand motions he was using to retell the tale had Star laughing so hard she was almost crying.
Before long, Alex looked at the clock in the kitchen and said he had to go. Star walked with him downstairs. He pulled her close and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him thoroughly in return.
"Perfect day," Alex repeated from earlier. "See you tomorrow between classes."
Star smiled. "You bet." he kissed her hand and got into his car parked in front of the building. She noticed movement across the street, but couldn't make out much due to the glare from the headlights, just a silhouette sitting on the hood of a car. As Alex's car pulled away, the glare faded and the profile came into view.
Her blood froze.
Tristan's eyes met hers from across the street. Neither one of them made a move for what felt like an eternity. Finally, Star decided that if he wasn't going to move, she would. After she crossed the street and arrived next to his car, Tristan didn't face her. His features were tense, and he looked like he was in a lot of pain.
"I came here tonight...to apologize to you," he said slowly with his face tucked in his arm. "But I guess I was too late, huh?" He looked up at Star, and the lamplight made his usually warm eyes cold. "Maybe I should have done that last night...and I've gotta say Star...if you wanted me jealous?" His eyebrows raised darkly and he swallowed. "That was a Grade-A performance to cause it." His eyes squinted at the end, and he shook his head.
Star shrugged. "I don't know what to say, Tristan. I thought about you today. I thought about you all of last night. Hell, I had dreams about you all night long, and I didn't get a damn bit of good sleep because of it...how was I supposed to know that you'd be out here spying on me in the dark?"
"I wasn't spying on you! I told you why I came over here!" Tristan hopped off his car and stood face to face with her. "I was going to come up, but then I saw you come down the stairs with him," he defended himself. "Excuse me for not wanting to ruin your moment.'"
"So you'll ruin my whole night instead?" Star countered.
"I guess I don't know you after all. The person I know wouldn't be able to be as intimate with me as you were and then kiss some other guy like that the next night. In fact, I think I recall you telling me yourself that you weren't that kind of person. I guess you proved us all wrong," he said harshly.
Star fought her lips that were trembling. Tristan was right. As much as it hurt to hear, what he said was the truth. Now she was not only a liar, but she'd cheated on both of them in less than 24 hours. She didn't know who she was anymore either right now. And she was ashamed of it. She didn't have anything to say to defend herself.
What she'd been trying to do all day was block Tristan out, and in the end, it looked like that was precisely what she had accomplished. But now that wasn't the result she wanted after all.
Tristan sighed once he saw her tears, and he looked like he was in pain again. "Look Star; I want to be with you. I know that's what I want. Every time I look at you or hear your voice, it reaffirms that want. In my heart, I know that we've been together over and over again. But those memories may be all that I get in this life. If you can't love me back...then I don't want to hurt myself by trying, because I know I won't give up. So I'm telling you all this now. I'm not going to call you anymore. I'm not going to show up where I know you'll be. Zack said that you worked really hard to get where you are right now. I don't want you to lose your scholarship because I showed up in your life when it was inconvenient. Figure out what you want. Stay with Alex if that's
what you need to do...I just can't do this to myself anymore."
Star looked into his eyes and saw how glassy they'd become while he said his piece. She knew he was going to leave unless she did or said something but she was out of ideas.
He sniffed and looked down. "Alright then, you know how to reach me." Tristan's eyes shifted away from her and toward the parking lot. "You know, I finished the book. That couple? They didn't make it...I really thought we would." After that, he got into his car and started it. Before Star knew it, he had pulled out of the space and was gone.
She hurt. It wasn't a typical kind of pain. Her legs gave out on her, and she sat down on the sidewalk hard. He was gone, and it was her fault. The tears started coming faster, and before she knew it, she was wracked with sobs that wouldn't cease. A little while later Zack had shown up beside her and picked her up; apparently, he'd seen her across the street from the sunroom window. He carried her inside as she sobbed into his shoulder and held him close. Then he had sat down on the couch and let her cry until she finally wore herself out and fell asleep in his arms.
CHAPTER 16
Tristan rested his hands on his knees as he caught his breath in front of the house from his run. It was a week before Christmas, and there was fresh snow on the ground. Scout pressed her nose against him hinting she wanted to go in, and he went into the house through the garage. Six weeks had passed since he'd seen or heard from Star, but not a day had gone by that she wasn't in his thoughts. More than a few times Tristan had picked up the phone and almost called her, only to not follow through with it. As much as it stung, he had told her to make her choice, and she had made it.
Winter break started the day before, and now Tristan had a whole two weeks to himself with nothing to do. He guessed he could pick up more shifts at the firehouse and relieve some of the other EMT's that would probably like to spend more time with their families. As tempting as that was, considering Tristan had been getting along with the guys more since he'd consciously been more friendly towards them, he didn't think his heart would be in it. He had aced all of his finals, and his next round of classes luckily didn't have any significant preparation. Then again, maybe it wasn't so lucky. If he had prep-work, then at least he'd have something to occupy his time.
After showering and fixing himself lunch, Tristan headed back to his room to check his e-mail. He moved the pile of reincarnation books that he'd picked up from the library to the side and scrolled through the e-mail he'd received.
Most of them were invitations to holiday parties that he knew he wouldn't go to. After deleting the spam he'd almost given up on anything exciting being there, then he noticed there was one from Emily. Tristan had opened up to her and explained what he could about Star and what had happened. She had been sympathetic and there for him when he was the most upset about everything. They'd gone to a few Greek parties together, and he had made some new friends because of Emily. She was a great girl, and she didn't mind him going off on tangents about things he was reading or researching. He'd brought her over to the house one night, and when Art had seen them on the couch together watching a movie, he'd razzed him about it later. Still, Tristan didn't feel anything romantic towards Emily. It was nice to have a friend to hang out with though. Curious to see what she'd written, he opened the e-mail.
Tristan,
I went to that Christmas mixer last night at the sorority house, and Alyssa and I started talking. Apparently, she's dating this guy named Alex. I know you said you didn't want to talk about Star anymore, but Alyssa said this guy’s best friend was Zack Davenport and I thought that was a little too coincidental. She also said Zack and his roommate went home to Virginia for the break. I don't know, for some reason, I thought you might want to know.
What are you doing for Christmas? My parents said you were welcome to come over and spend it with us if Art had to work that night. They enjoyed seeing you last week.
Give me call if you need anything!
Emily
Tristan leaned back in his chair. She had a good point. That was pretty coincidental. He took a deep breath and let it out as he looked out his window at the snow. This was too much. The whole reason he had asked Emily not to mention Star anymore was that it hurt to think about her. Looking over at the stack of reincarnation books, Tristan guessed he wasn't helping himself any. Researching made him feel like she wasn't gone.
He'd learned how to control the blackouts enough that they didn't happen unexpectedly anymore. They only happened when he let himself think about Star, and that was usually late at night by himself in his room with the reincarnation books.
Emily may have been a nice distraction, but Tristan was kidding himself if he thought he could forget about Star. After staring at the ceiling for a few minutes, he decided to call Alyssa. They had met when Emily took him to one of the sororities fundraising parties. She was sweet and sophisticated, and they had gotten along pretty well. Tristan saw her often now since Emily was the Vice President of the sorority and Alyssa was the President. After dialing her number, he leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on his bed. She answered after only a few rings.
"Hello?"
"Hey Alyssa, it's Tristan."
"Hey, Tristan! Why weren't you at the Christmas mixer last night with Emily? We missed you."
"Ah, well I had some things I needed to do...heard you've got a new victim though."
Alyssa laughed. "You're so mean. But yes, I found a new guy. Nice Christmas present to myself, huh?"
"Absolutely." Tristan smiled into the receiver. "Don't leave this one bruised and broken like you did the last one."
"I'm mending his broken heart. One of my friends just broke up with him," she defended herself.
"You're such a philanthropist, Alyssa," he added sarcastically.
"Oh you know I try, sweetie," she purred. "Speaking of helping people, when are you going to make it official with Emily?"
"Actually, I called to ask you something," Tristan avoided the question.
"What?" she asked perkily.
He laughed, a little nervously. "This is going to sound odd.... but was his ex-girlfriends name Star?"
There was no answer on the line.
"Hello?" Tristan asked questioningly.
"Sorry...yes, actually, it was. How did you know that?" He could hear the curiosity in her voice.
Tristan flinched. "Oh, I was just wondering."
"Do you know Star?" she asked.
"I thought I did," he said sighing.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Alyssa prodded.
"Nothing. Hey, you wouldn't happen to know where I could send Star a Christmas card would you?" Tristan pulled his feet off his bed and set them back on the floor, leaning forward in his chair. A plan was forming in his mind.
"Sure, I've got her parents’ address around here somewhere..." He could hear her digging through a stack of papers and then she read off the address in Virginia to him slowly so he could write it down.
“Thanks, Alyssa. I appreciate it. Have a great Christmas." he happily told her.
"You're welcome, Tristan. Call me if you need anything else. Maybe Alex and I could go out with you and Emily later this week."
"I'm not so sure I'll still be in town," he answered. "I was thinking about visiting some family."
"Oh...well when you get back then." He could hear the smile in her voice.
"Sure. Talk to you later."
After he got off the phone, Tristan stared at the address Alyssa had given him. That was almost too easy. What were the odds that Alyssa would be dating the same guy that Star was, or that the two of them were even friends, to begin with? Why had Star broken up with Alex anyway? Was she still thinking about him as much as he was thinking about her?
Feeling like he'd opened Pandora's Box, the questions continued in his mind. If fate was screwing with him again and this didn't work, he was going to curse the Gods that caused it. A guy can only take so much. Still, there Star’s address was in f
ront of him, and he had two weeks of nothing do to but think about her. The worst that could happen would be that he flew out there and she rejected him. Seeing her again would make the trip worth it, rejection or not, he admitted to himself.
Deciding that thinking about Star right now wasn't such a good idea since he had to be at work in an hour, Tristan e-mailed Emily back and placed Star's address in his wallet for safekeeping. He went back outside and played with Scout for a little while, then brought her back in, feeling like she'd spent enough energy that she'd behave while he was gone. Then he collected what he needed for his shift, packed up and headed off to work.
His shift was rough, but satisfying nonetheless. By the time he got back to his car and looked at the dash, it was already midnight. His cellphone had a missed call from Emily. He dialed her number and leaned his head back against the headrest.