Star-Crossed Memories

by Geri Watson

  "The Great Depression?" the professor questioned.

  "Yeah. That was when I was Richie and Star was Marie. It was all jumbled up and short. Marie had taken me fishing down at the watering hole, and I was ecstatic about it. She kept having to hold onto the back of my overalls to keep me from falling in." He laughed at the memory of it. "It wasn't dramatic or anything, it was simple and sweet. But I felt my love for her very deeply."

  "Mhm." Dr. Walker jotted down the information in his notes. "Anything else relevant that you can think of from that first day?"

  Tristan thought about it, casting his eyes toward the ceiling. "I had a lot of smaller flashes of our other lives, but they weren't clear at all. I didn't remember any names or specifics from them." He looked down again and back at Dr. Walker. "I called Star when I got home, but we didn't talk about much. She fell asleep while she was on the phone with me."

  "Ah. Perhaps she had a blackout that night as well?" Dr. Walker offered. "They can be quite exhausting in the beginning."

  "I don't know. I think I remember Star saying something about one, but I'm not positive about that." He scrunched up his face.

  "Tristan, have you ever heard of past life regression therapy?" the professor asked, resting his hands behind his head as he leaned back in his office chair.

  "A little. It's when you get hypnotized to remember your past, right?" His forehead creased.

  "Simply put, yes," the professor replied. "Would you be interested in trying that?"

  Tristan considered it for a moment and concluded it wouldn't do any harm. The worst that it could do would be to make his blackouts start up again, and he wasn't worried about that returning. If it would help explain things, then Tristan wasn't going to turn away from anything offered. He looked over at Dr. Walker and nodded. "If you think it would help, then yes."

  The professor nodded slowly. "It might. Star said your blackouts and flashbacks have completely stopped?"

  "Yes. We had one at the same time around Christmas, and since then I haven't had one. Up until that point, I was suffering from them almost every night. It's quite strange to be existing without them, to be honest. It's an adjustment." Tristan rested his fingers against his head, leaning his elbow on the armrest of the chair. "I had gotten so used to having them happen."

  "It's odd that they ceased without an explanation of any sort. That matched up with Star having one consistently repeating flashback is an enigma to me, I'm afraid." Dr. Walker leaned his elbows on the desk again and let out a breath.

  Tristan allowed himself to get lost in thought once more. It seemed he had loads of questions he wanted to ask Dr. Walker when he met him and now he couldn't think of a single one to ask. He blamed it on being so tired. His brain was not cooperating with him today. It was sheer luck that he'd been able to stay coherent this long talking to the professor. Tristan was so slow, in fact, that not until this very moment did he realize his car was still parked in front of the apartment and he'd have to walk back there before going to the hospital. Cursing silently to himself, he closed his eyes once more. They didn't want to stay open anymore.

  "Tristan?" he heard Dr. Walker ask.

  "Hm?" he murmured in return.

  "Do you want me to drive you over to Star's or back to your house?" The professor's voice was laced with concern.

  Tristan rubbed his face and forced his eyes open again. "If you didn't mind, that would be nice," he said tiredly. As much as it pained him to show any weakness to Dr. Walker, he couldn't fathom how hard it would be to walk the few blocks back to the apartment.

  The professor collected his things and slipped on his coat, a beaten up wool jacket that looked warm and comfortable, but not what Tristan would have expected the head of a department to wear. Once he was ready he stood by the chair Tristan was sitting in and paused.

  It took Tristan a minute to pull himself out of the armchair, and Dr. Walker placed a firm hand on his shoulder and led him down the hallway, taking extra precautions as they went down the stairs. When they reached the parking lot, Dr. Walker pointed to a vintage black Volkswagen beetle. Tristan settled into the passenger seat and told Dr. Walker which way to go to get to Star and Zack's apartment complex. Fighting to stay awake, he thanked the professor for the ride as he got out at the curb.

  "You're welcome. Get some rest Tristan; we'll talk more at length when you're feeling up to it." His voice was kind.

  Tristan nodded. "Thank you for talking with us."

  "Tell Star I want to speak to her tomorrow," Dr. Walker called before pulling the car away.

  Now that he was in front of the apartment Tristan looked up at the top floor and braced himself for the stairs again. It took him a bit, but he finally made it to the door and leaned against it. He couldn't believe he'd let himself get this worn down. Reaching into his pocket, he dug out the key that they'd made for him and unlocked the door, letting himself in. Scout came up to him and licked his hand, happy that he was home. Tristan didn't even bother looking around and trudged off to Star's bedroom.

  Star was sitting at her desk when he walked in and unceremoniously collapsed on her bed, kicking off his shoes and grabbing onto the closest pillow. It was almost painful; it felt so good to lie down. He nuzzled into the pillow, inhaling the smell of Star's plumeria and shampoo. The scents were unbelievably comforting to his senses. A minute later he felt the mattress depress alongside him and gentle fingers running themselves through his hair. "Not going to see Art tonight?" Star asked softly.

  Tristan numbly shook his head. "Too tired," he mumbled into the pillow. Star continued running her fingers through his hair, lulling him into the deep sleep he so badly needed.

  It was a dreamless sleep which he was thankful for. When Tristan finally awoke again, it was dark in the room. Star had changed into a tank top, and jersey lounge pants and was curled up on her left side, her hair splayed across her pillow and her arm around his waist. Her breathing was deep and even, and her lips slightly parted. Tristan rubbed his eyes and rolled over, facing Star.

  Propping himself up on one elbow, he reached out and lightly ran his hand over her cheek, brushing the loose hair from her face. Then he snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her into his chest. She muttered incoherently and found her way to his shoulder, grabbing hold of him again and sighing into his neck. Resting his head on hers, Tristan closed his eyes again.

  "What did Dr. Walker talk to you about?" her sleep-soaked voice muttered.

  "Did I wake you?" he asked, surprised she'd said something.

  "I don't care that you did," she breathed into his neck. "You've been asleep for hours."

  "That may be, but how long have you been out?" He rubbed her arm lightly.

  "Since 11...Zack and I watched some stuff we recorded and went over the Psych reading we had, and then I came to bed." She yawned and looked over his shoulder at the nightstand. "It's four now, so that's not too bad."

  "No flashback tonight?" Tristan asked tensely. Any morning where he woke up without her screaming was a good morning to him, even if it was at 4 AM.

  "I guess you woke me up before it happened again." Star rested her elbows on his chest and looked down at him, still sleepy. "Thanks."

  Tristan rested his hands on the small of her back and cocked an eyebrow at her. "If I knew waking you up early was all it took to keep it from happening, I would have started doing it more often."

  Star laughed. It was a beautiful sound to Tristan's ears considering how heavy things had been lately. He pulled her closer and chuckled softly. "You laugh, I'm serious."

  Her lips found his and Tristan welcomed them. After a few minutes, she pulled away almost unwillingly. "So what did you talk about with Dr. Walker?" she asked again.

  "You're thinking about Dr. Walker when you're kissing me?" Tristan scoffed. "I'm hurt."

  Star shoved him. "You've been hanging around Zack too much. Answer the question!"

  "Ow," he whined. "We talked about what happened the day I met you. He ask
ed me if I would consider past life regression therapy and said he wanted to talk to you today." He kissed the sensitive part of her neck, making her squirm.

  "Did you talk about anything else?" Star leaned her head to the side so Tristan had better access to her neck and he took advantage of it.

  "No... I kinda...almost...fell asleep...in his office," he muttered out between kisses. "So he gave me a ride back here."

  "I'm sorry you were so tired; I know it was because of me," Star said softly as he felt her fingers on the back of his neck.

  He paused mid-kiss and rested his forehead against hers. "Don't ever say you're sorry to me for something you have no control over. Alright?"

  Star nodded and pulled him on top of her, making him grunt in surprise and then she kissed him heatedly while clinging to him. "I love you, Tristan," she whispered into his ear. "I'm glad you kissed me that day."

  His eyes met hers in the soft light of the room. "Really?" he asked her. "You don't wonder what your life would be like without all of this? You could still be happy with Ale-" he was cut off by her mouth on his again, her kiss lighter this time.

  "No." Star rested a finger on his lips to hush him. "I don't regret anything. No matter what happens."

  Tristan licked his lips and tucked Star's hair behind her ear as he shifted her off of him. "Okay." He nodded and looked over at the alarm clock. "I'm gonna go run." He got up and changed into his sweats as she watched him in the dim light. As he leaned in to kiss her before he left, she stopped him with a hand on his chest.

  "Tristan?"

  "Yeah?"

  "Don't lose hope in us," she pleaded. "We're going to win this war."

  Not knowing how to respond to that, Tristan zipped up his hooded sweatshirt and nodded, then walked out of the room. As he and Scout were running, he and Dr. Walker's conversation and what Star had said to him replayed his mind. Don't lose hope. Such a simple sentence. Not so easily carried out.

  CHAPTER 33

  After ordering a glass of soda, Star slid into the booth next to Zack. It was Friday and the week had dragged by. She rested her head against the cushioning behind her and closed her eyes. Dr. Walker had met with her twice since Tuesday and once more with Tristan. He still wanted to keep them separate so that their accounts of things didn't get skewed by each other’s presence.

  Star had agreed to go through with the past life regression therapy as well, so that was the next step once everything up until this point was documented. She was drained. The flashback was still haunting her sleep; Tristan had only been able to head it off one more time. He'd been sleeping better at least, and he'd felt secure enough to go back to working his EMT shifts at the firehouse, so she guessed that was something.

  "What do you two have planned for this weekend?" Star heard Zack ask.

  She let out a small sigh. "Tristan's taking me to meet his parents tomorrow."

  "Oh ho ho! Meeting the prestigious Montgomery's at last, are we?" Zack teased her. "Whatever will you wear?"

  A broad smile spread across Star's face, and she laughed. "You're horrible."

  "You love me." He nudged her and took a sip of his water. "Seriously though, are you going to be okay with that?"

  "I don't know," she shrugged. "Tristan said it wasn't going to be a big deal, and I already met Arthur."

  Zack eyed her. "Star. These are rich people. He already admitted to you that they're 'hoity-toity', as you so eloquently put it before. They don't do things like regular people."

  "What makes you the expert all of a sudden?" She chewed on the end of her straw. "Dating someone at the country club I don't know about?" she raised an eyebrow.

  A boisterous laugh erupted out of Zack, and he wiped at his eye. "Oh, that's a good one, honey."

  Star smiled and noticed Alyssa and Alex walking toward them holding hands. The two of them had settled into the booth after squishing Zack and forcing him and Star to scoot down. Alyssa shot her a look that read "You have some explaining to do". Star looked over at Alex and shook her head in response. "Likewise," she mouthed back. Alyssa shrugged and hugged Alex's arm. Star rolled her eyes.

  "Where's Tristan?" Alex asked no one in particular. "I figured he'd be joining us on Friday's now."

  "He has class," Star explained. "Otherwise I'm sure he would."

  "Ah, that's a shame. I was looking forward to getting to know the bloke." Alex smiled.

  "Maybe we could get together this weekend?" Alyssa suggested. "That is if you guys aren't busy."

  "Maybe Sunday. Star's meeting Tristan's parents tomorrow," Zack answered for her. Her eyes widened, and she shot him an evil look.

  "Meeting the parents already?" Alyssa said a little surprised. "That's fast."

  "Well, he met my parents already," Star defended herself. She wasn't uncomfortable before, but they were starting to make her feel that way now. She was thankful that the waitress happened by then to take their orders. She wasn't really hungry anymore, so she ordered a salad. Alex looked over at her once the waitress had disappeared and tilted his head.

  "Sunday then?"

  "Yeah sure. Zack's off too!" she clapped her hand down on his shoulder. "He switched his shifts, so he's off weekends now."

  "Excellent!" Alyssa beamed. "It'll be fun, all of us together. Maybe Emily could come!"

  "Lyss..." Alex shook his head slightly.

  "What? She's Tristan's best friend!" Alyssa scowled.

  Alex looked over at Zack for help. Zack smirked knowingly at Star. "Are you two going to throw down this time?"

  Star gasped. "We were not throwing down!"

  "Oh, whatever. That was a catfight if I've ever seen one!" Zack scoffed.

  Resting her head in her hands and flushing red, Star groaned. The last thing she wanted to be brought up was her and Emily fighting on Tuesday. Why did Zack always insist on exposing these things? She was starting to question why he had been her best friend for seven years when she felt him squeeze her leg under the table. She felt his breath at her ear as he whispered into it.

  "If you invite Emily and act civil, I bet it would make Tristan happy. I'm not trying to be insensitive here." She raised her head and looked at him. He cocked an eyebrow, waiting for her reaction to his proposal.

  "You can bring Emily," Star said smoothly, looking across the booth at Alyssa. "I'd like to make up for the other day, anyway." She felt Zack pat her leg lightly to show she'd made the right decision. Her stomach twisted. If Emily wasn't willing to behave, Sunday was going to be hell.

  They talked about their weeks and random chitchat for the rest of the meal. After Alex finished, he murmured something to Zack that Star couldn't make out and they excused themselves rather quickly, with Alex only giving Alyssa a small peck on the lips as a goodbye. That was strange. Wonder what that was all about?

  Alyssa scooted over toward her and daintily cleared her throat. "So Tristan was Mr. Maybe this entire time?"

  Star nodded and twirled her straw in her soda. "Yep.," she said, popping the end of the word.

  "You're not mad at me about Alex, are you?" Alyssa pouted.

  Star slowly raised her eyes to meet Alyssa's head on. "Why would I care? We weren't really dating anyway, right?" she said with an edge to her voice.

  Alyssa sighed. "You are mad." She tossed her hair to the side and ran her fingers through it, looking down. "You're the one that ended it between you two. He was crushed, Star! You should've seen him. He looked like a wounded puppy. It was so sad!"

  "And you felt the need to 'mend his broken heart' I think were the words Tristan relayed to me. No, I understand." She tapped her straw on the bottom of her glass. "Just kind of a low blow from the closest female friend I've got." Her eyes met Alyssa's once more. "I was a little stunned."

  "How do you think I felt finding out that you're the same one who Emily told me destroyed Tristan?! He was totally depressed after you dumped him! It took Emily everything to get him to open up and learn to live a little! He was happy with her, Star. I thoug
ht they were together...and then he runs off at Christmas to...win you back?" She looked at her incredulously. "I was more than a little stunned by that news."

  "I guess we're even then." Star chewed her bottom lip. "It's not like I deliberately stole Tristan from Emily. I don't deserve to be treated like dirt because he chose to come after me, you know? Tell her that the next time you see her and maybe Sunday won't be so bad."