When Farrah stops in front of a door I’m not sure what I was expecting but I was not expecting Londynn’s bedroom to be the size of the entire house I grew up in. With every step I’ve taken through this house tonight it’s made clearer and clearer that we come from two completely different worlds. Of course, I already knew that, but I don’t think I realized just how different until now. Londynn’s room is all pale pink and white, it’s something that I’d expect for a child that loved to play princess but not the nineteen-year-old girl she is now.
Once the girls disappear into the bathroom I look around the room. This is the first place I’ve seen actual photos in the house. Londynn’s bookcase is crammed with books, a stereo and photos. As I scan the photos I notice they are all contain just four people Farrah, Alivia, Creed and an older, gray haired lady who I’m assuming is Vivienne. No mom, no dad, no Duke and no Ryce are in the photos and again I feel sad for her. I can’t imagine not displaying a picture of my parents somewhere in my room but then again, I have a feeling our parents are about as different as our homes.
The wall next to me is full of shelves and all of them are stuffed with awards, trophies, ribbons and pictures from dancing competitions and what not. From the looks of things Londynn was one hell of a dancer. Londynn being a dancer explained her gracefulness and it made me wonder what it would be like to see her dance. Creed must have noticed me staring because he leans over and whispers “It’s a shame she doesn’t dance anymore because she was something to see.”
“She doesn’t do it anymore?” I ask trying to figure out why she would quit something she was clearly great at and seemed to like.
Creed shakes his head and sighs heavily “No she doesn’t. Her family had other plans for her but Londynn loved it so much. It was her passion and it showed.” The bathroom door opens, and Creed sits back up. While Farrah and Alivia are beautiful, Londynn is drop dead gorgeous. She is literally breathtaking with her honey colored hair, tan skin and deep hazel eyes. The white lace dress she has on makes it look like her skin is showing but if you really look at it there’s just a nude colored material under it. The neckline though is very low cut with just two strings that tie around her neck. Her long lean legs, dancer legs now that I know that, look even longer in the short dress and the white wedges. Her hair is down and loose with just a few curls. Her hazel eyes meet mine and I have to remind myself to breath. Thank goodness Connor keeps his wits about him because he reminds us that we need to get to the races. As we head downstairs it becomes clear that Londynn is riding in the car with me. My mind is already racing from seeing the way her body moves as she walks in that little dress being in an enclosed car for any period of time could prove to be impossible.
****
Londynn
Being in such an enclosed space with Jagger was making me feel like I was sixteen again. I don’t know why since nothing has ever happened with a Jagger and nothing can ever happen with him. We would never work besides he always has this love them and leave them vibe coming off him but for whatever reason the car is full of tension or maybe I’m just imagining things. Maybe, it’s the smell of his cologne and the way he switches gears that has me imagining things I shouldn’t.
As we pull up to the races I notice how close were cutting it, the races will start in less than three minutes. Jagger is already out of the car and the crowd that has been paying attention to the people buying into the race is now facing us. I’m about to open my door when Jagger pulls it open and extends his hand to me. I place my hand in his and let his warmth surge through me, the butterflies in my stomach grow. Once I’m out of the car he turns to me and whispers in my ear “Damn I’m luckiest man here.” When he pulls back he has that smile on his face, you know the one that makes all the girls swoon, to top it off he winks at me. I shake my head as he walks over to meet the other drivers.
I scan the crowd as Farrah, Alivia, Sadie and Kynlee make their way over to me. Ryce is glaring so hard that I swear he’ll burn holes through my skull if he doesn’t stop. Farrah asks me what’s wrong and I mention Ryce to her. Of course, Farrah’s first bit of action is to flip him off. Axell calls who will race who and as the crowd disperses Ryce says “No! I want Jagger.”
Jagger who was in mid step heading back towards us stops and turns around. “What didn’t get enough last time?”
Ryce stalks towards Jagger and before I know it I’m moving to get closer in case Ryce decides to swing. I don’t want Jagger getting hit because I rode here with him but before I get halfway there a hand clamps around my wrist. “You don’t want to do that babe.” I turn around and see its Ace who has my wrist. “Turn back around and go back to the girls, we got this. Even if Jagger couldn’t handle this on his own I’d have his back, but Jagger can. However, if I let you get in the middle of that” he says motioning towards Jagger and Ryce who are now nose to nose with one another “Jagger wouldn’t let me forget that. So, do me a favor and go back to the girls.” After contemplating what Ace says I turn around and walk back to where the girls are. As soon as I’m close enough Farrah grabs me and doesn’t let go.
“You want to do something besides bitch and moan?” Jagger asks Ryce in an eerily clam voice.
“Yeah I want to race you and I want to know why you always go after my seconds?” Ryce asks.
Jagger throws his head back and laughs out loud. “I don’t go looking for your seconds they come looking for me. What bothers you more that lose or that you lose to me? The boy from the wrong social crowd.” Ryce stands completely silent and still for what seems like forever. Axell, Bowie, Ace and Connor have all moved in behind Jagger just to be safe. The rest of us hold our breath while we wait to see what will happen next. To my surprise Ryce turns around and starts to walk away but suddenly he turns back and throws a bunch at Jagger. It catches him off guard and sends him a few steps back. Thankfully, Jagger is quick because before Ryce can get in another punch Jagger has landed two to his jaw. Axell grabs Ryce and Connor grabs Jagger, Bowie and Ace are standing between the two now.
Bowie looks between both “No cage matches here. You have a problem you settle it on the black top. Pedal to the metal?”
Jagger smirks at Ryce “Pedal to the Metal.”
Ryce works his jaw back and forth a few times then spits out some blood “Pedal to the metal.” Jagger and Ryce are released and while Jagger is heading this way I notice Ace stepping up to Ryce. His mouth is moving, and I see Kynlee moving pretty quickly for a girl in six-inch heels towards him. Before either of us can say a thing Ace lands one hell of a punch on Ryce, one that lands Ryce on the ground. When Ace turns around Kynlee is there, he drapes his arm around her shoulders and they walk off.
I must look spooked because Jagger asks me if I’m okay I shake my head and he runs his hands up and down my arms. “You must be cold, you have goosebumps," he says stepping around me and pulling a black leather jacket from his trunk. He holds it out to me and as I step into it I’m surrounded by the smell of his cologne and whiskey. I love the smell of his cologne the whiskey not so much. “Sorry, the last time I had it on was at work in Vegas.”
“What’d you do there?” I ask my curiosity getting the best of me.
He chuckles “I was a bouncer at a strip joint.”
After that admission we both fall quiet, but my mind should have guessed he’d worked in some place like that. I can’t help but feel so young and naïve next to him now. Not to mention every stripper I’ve ever seen has an amazing body. Their all curves and sexy, not slim with barely their boobs and the girl next door clothes. As if I didn’t already have my doubts before. He stands right beside me until it’s time for him to get in line to race. “What about a good luck kiss?” He asks in a teasing voice.
I grab his chin and lean forward but right before I meet his lips I turn his head and kiss his cheek “Good luck” I say sweetly, sauntering off towards the rest of the girls.
Chapter 8
Jagger
When Londynn had kissed m
y cheek and said good luck in that voice I had wanted to grab and pull her back to me, pinning her against the car and devouring that smart mouth of hers. Sadly, I didn’t have time for that because I had to go race her loser ex-boyfriend. Watching Ryce choke on my car fumes did give me some satisfaction but not enough. I was still having thoughts about Londynn and I really shouldn’t. After seeing the way she viewed the world, and not being that type of guy for her I really shouldn’t think about kissing her. But here I stand at JamesTown nursing a beer and thinking just that while she dances on the floor with Kynlee and Alivia.
Watching the way she moves makes me want things I know I can’t have. I turn around and ask the other bartender Aaron for a shot, after downing it I stalk off to the body shop through the short cut by the rest rooms. Anytime I feel frustrated or need to think getting under the hood of a car is always like therapy to me. I slide under one of the cars and instantly my mind seems to clear, all the jumble suddenly makes sense. I think about Londynn and what is going on between us which is basically nothing. We flirt and there is this odd chemistry, but she is not the girl I’m use to now days. Maybe, if I’d stuck around after Harlyn, maybe I’d still be that guy. You know the one that could stay faithful to one girl, that could love with all of his heart, that could still believe that loved conquered all but I’m not that guy. Besides, even if I did still believe in any of that I’d had my perfect match, my soulmate, my one true love, you didn’t get those twice.
Even if none of that was an issue I knew I could never be with anyone like that again. It wouldn’t be fair to Harlyn or her memory. Plus, I didn’t deserve it I had been the reason she was in the car that night. It was my fault she wasn’t here now. She didn’t get a chance at happily ever after so I sure as hell didn’t deserve it. My mood was going south pretty quickly when I heard the door open and the sound of heels on the concrete floor. From my spot under the car I could see Londynn’s white wedges as she makes her way over to me.
“Shouldn’t you be celebrating instead of working?” she asks in a teasing voice.
Sliding out from under the car I see her standing there with a flush on her cheeks from the heat of the dance floor. Damn, she looks good. “What should I be celebrating? Beating your boyfriend? Because that was so easy I see no sense in celebrating that.”
She cocks an eyebrow at me “Ex-boyfriend.” She goes quiet and I can tell she’s thinking because her brows are furrowed and she’s chewing on her bottom lip. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”
I’m watching her walk towards the door when I ask, “Why don’t you dance anymore?” She turns around and gives me a questioning look. “In your room there is entire wall of medals and ribbons for you.”
She sighs heavily before walking towards me. “What did you want to be when you were a kid?”
I chuckle and wash my hands in the sink. “A NASCAR driver or a mechanic. Why?”
“When I was young my mom put me in dance, jazz and ballet. I hated ballet mostly because my teacher was so strict and when you’re four you don’t love people like that. Anyways, one Christmas when I was six my parents took us to see The Nutcracker and the way the ballerinas moved I knew what I wanted to be. I wanted to be a ballerina and then some day when I was too old to dance anymore I wanted to open my own dance studio.”
She’s now standing in front of me, leaning against the car. “Then why did you quit? I mean you clearly have the talent to become a professional ballerina and the money to open the dance studio later on. Obviously, you have all kinds of opportunities.”
Her eyes look a little sad when she looks up to meet mine. “You see money as a way to give you a better life. As if it’ll opens doors and give you opportunities and maybe it does, if it’s your money. But if it’s not your money it comes with expectations. The money is my parents which means I have to play by their rules, Jagger. Being a ballerina is not an acceptable career choice. I can go to college to become a doctor or lawyer, but they’d really just like to marry me off to Ryce.”
I’m standing in the body shop that has always been my second home and I think of my life. I had parents who pushed us to become our own person and follow whatever made us happy. They loved and supported us unconditionally, even at our worst. When Axell, Bowie and I wanted to start a band years ago our parents had cleared out the garage and had been our biggest fans. My home might have been small, but it always felt warm and happy. I’d never been told that what I wanted to do wasn’t acceptable. Thinking of how Londynn had been raised made a piece of my cold heart chip away. She had mentioned all she’d had was Farrah and Vivienne and now I’m starting to see Londynn in a different light. No wonder Londynn felt so alone and sad sometimes. Who could tell their child that what they dream of becoming isn’t acceptable?
I shake my head I disgust of how much Londynn has probably been hurt and before I know it I’m standing right in front of her. Her dark hazel eyes look up and meet mine and before I decide against it I slip my hands in her hair and pull her mouth towards mine. The taste of coconut instantly hits my mouth. It must be that lip gloss she’s always putting on. I feel her hands run up my back and her nails dig into my shoulders. I push her against the car as I deepen the kiss. My heart is about to beat out of my chest and my brain is running a thousand miles a minute. She fits perfectly against my body, like she was made to be in my arms. A small moan escapes Londynn’s mouth and it’s my undoing. I breakaway to look into her eyes and as I’m looking into them I see her defenses go back up.
She pulls away and heads for the door apologizing the whole way. Once she’s out of my view I take a deep breath, but I can still taste her lip gloss, feel her lips against mine and nails on my shoulders. No other girl had felt that perfect to me since…Harlyn.
****
Londynn
While being wrapped up in Jagger’s arms and how those arms made me feel safe made me forget about all the reasons why this was a bad idea. Why had I followed Jagger in here? Because for whatever reason I couldn’t seem to stay away from him. I couldn’t deny whatever this was going on between us. I took a deep breath trying to slow my slamming heart, but it had the opposite effect. His cologne was now mixed with the smell of oil and leather and it was intoxicating. Who would have thought that mixture of things would smell so good? Jagger pressed me further into the car which only made our bodies get closer, man could Jagger James kiss, I didn’t want to think about how he got so good at this but seriously I could feel this kiss from every strand of hair down to my toes.
When Jagger took a step back I had a minute to gather my wits and in that brief period of time my brain reminded me of all the reasons why this was a bad idea. However, I discovered a new reason now. Jagger made me feel safe, but it was my place to create my own safety, my own life, my own freedom now. I couldn’t let myself rely on Jagger for anything. I couldn’t let myself rely on anyone for anything. I had to do it myself, Dr. Thorton had made it perfectly clear that one of my main problems was that I pushed people away, but it wasn’t for the reasons he believed. It was because I just wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t perfect enough and I didn’t want anyone to know that.
Rushing away from Jagger and the body shop and the car and the kiss that left me light headed and weak in the knees seemed like my only option. Once I got back to JamesTown I search for Farrah, but I don’t see her anywhere. I spot Kynlee, but she’s now occupied with Ace. Someone places a hand on my shoulder and I jump, as I spin around I see Sadie looking at me with concern. “Are you okay?” she asks.
I nod then tell her “I’m trying to find Farrah. I just want to go home.”
“Farrah disappeared with Connor shortly after you followed Jagger, but I can give you a ride?” Sadie offers. After a few moments of contemplating I decide to take her offer. We ride in silence besides the radio. Sadie always seems to know what I need and right now I need time to figure out what the hell happened with me and Jagger. I’d only kissed two guys in my life Ryce for the obvious reas
on of him being my boyfriend and Ace one night when he tried to help me make Ryce jealous. None of my other kisses had felt like the one I’d just experienced with Jagger. None of them had left me weak in the knees and light headed and wanting more. Whatever had happened with Jagger was totally different.
As we pull into my driveway Sadie puts the car in park “Are you sure you’re okay? Did Jagger do something?” She asks.
“No, he didn’t do anything. I’m just…I’m fine really," I say instead of telling Sadie how confused and lost I am. I don’t want to tell her that I’m starting to feel like I did before I started treatment. I just want to feel normal and happy again and it’s scary to think that the only times I’ve felt that way since coming back has been when I was with Jagger. “I’ll see you Monday," I tell Sadie before I climb out of the car. The house is empty as always, I climb the stairs slowly as I make my way up to my room. Tossing my shoes in the corner I lie back on the bed and sigh. If I had known how tonight would have went, would I have gone?
The answer is yes because even though I know Jagger James is not the type of guy I should want but he’s the only one that makes me feel alive right now. He touches a part of my soul that no one has before. When he looks into my eyes I feel like he can see past the perfect image I’ve mastered for everyone else. I feel like he sees the real me, the real Londynn and what’s more is he accepts that version of me. The girl who is desperate to be free and live her life without all the expectations from her parents. The girl who dreamed about being a ballerina. The girl who thought anything was possible. The girl who even though she’s scared as hell still believes in love.
I bite my lip and it makes me think of the kiss. That kiss had left me totally breathless. I was so certain that Jagger would be like Ace or Bowie, just some bad boy with a hot car but instead he’s genuine. He listens when I talk and asks questions that no one has ever asked me before. No one had ever asked why I had quit dance, but he did. It’s like he knows a part of me is missing without it. I can still smell his scent on my dress from where he was molded into me. I had never felt so protected in my life. I had never had anything feel more right.
Pedal to the Metal (James Brothers Series Book 1) Page 7