Duke surprises me then by doing something so out of the ordinary for him, he reaches across the table and takes my hand. “Londynn, if you’re miserable then go home. Go back to L.A. and back to Jagger.” I glare at him. “Don’t try and act like he isn’t a huge part of this.”
“He gave up on us," I tell Duke as I grab my purse and head out the door of the restaurant. I haven’t gotten too far when I hear Duke catch up.
“Londynn, you both gave up on each other. He felt he was to blame for his brother’s attack and you can’t be upset with him for that. But you didn’t fight very hard either. Did you call or text or visit after he told you to leave?” I give him a puzzled look because I don’t know how he knows all this, “Don’t look so shocked, Farrah told me. Now, answer the question.”
I take a deep breath and mumble “No, I didn’t.”
“Then it seems to me that you both gave up on each other, only you ran as well.”
I throw my hands up in defeat. “So maybe I did! I thought that this dream could replace the dream I had created with Jagger, that future I had hoped we’d have, so yes, I ran! But I’m sure Jagger is just fine without me and it’s not like he came fighting for me.”
I’m walking as fast as I can down the sidewalk with Duke on my heels when I hear him say “Jagger James is a mess.” I spin around to face him because I know this has to be some kind of trick. I can’t imagine Jagger being a mess over me, especially since he was the one that told me to leave. “Jagger is a complete mess without you. Not only is he dealing with the guilt of what happened to Ace but now he’s dealing with the guilt and grief of you.”
I cross my arms over my chest because my heart is pounding in my chest. “And how do you know that Duke?”
“I was in L.A. last month and I went to pedal to the metal and I saw him. He lost that night. Jagger James lost the race.”
I stand there stunned to my core because Jagger never loses. “But Jagger never loses.”
Duke shrugs while stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Not since he was like seventeen. I have a meeting I need to get to but my advice to you…. go home Londynn and be happy.” Duke leans forward and kisses the top of my head before turning around and hailing a cab.
I stand on the sidewalk for a long time just thinking about Duke’s words. Jagger had lost his race and was a mess. Did he regret sending me away? But if he did then why didn’t he just call me now? The alarm on my phone goes off reminding me I need to get back to the studio but as I enter through the doors I feel like even less of my heart is with me now.
Chapter 31
Londynn
Christmas time in New York seems almost magical. It’s without a doubt one of the most beautiful places during this time of year. Christmas had always been one of my favorite holidays but this year it just felt empty. Ever since Duke left I’d been even more confused than before. Every rehearsal went horribly, it’s like I couldn’t get out of my head, and today had been no different.
I was standing on the balcony with a cup of hot tea in my hand when someone said my name “Londynn?”
Turning around I see one of the girls from my rehearsal group, Kynlee. She was one of the best dancers in our group and possibly within the whole company. “Yeah.”
“I wasn’t sure I had the right name," she says.
She’s trying to be nice because there is no way she’s been in our rehearsals and not heard my name. “It’s not shocking that you know my name considering it gets called every other minute.”
“It’s a hard transition but can I give you a word of advice. Well, more like an observation.” I think about this before agreeing. “It seems that your whole heart isn’t in to dancing. To be a professional dancer is tiring and it requires your constant dedication and your whole heart.”
I take a sip of my tea before turning to face her. “I thought this was what I wanted. When I was younger I dreamed of this day. I ate, slept and breathed dance. I fought my parents for years on becoming a professional dancer but then one night everything changed. When the dust finally settled after that night the girl I was…changed. Then I met someone, and my dreams changed even more, so you’re right my whole heart isn’t in this.”
Savanna gave me a huge smile and squeezed my hand in a reassuring way. I didn’t’ know why I had just told her all that but she felt safe. It felt like I had known her forever and I could tell her anything. Hell, I basically just had. I kind of hated the fact that I hadn’t gotten to know her better while I was here because she seemed like someone I could have been best friends with. She just had the calming air around her. It was comforting. Her brown eyes were warm and kind. “Well you have to follow your heart, life is too short for anything else.”
“Thank you, Savanna.”
She shrugs “What are friends for.” She turns around and heads back inside. I guess in some ways we had just become friends. Now the question remained, where did my heart lead me?
****
Jagger
There was a permanent chill that had sat in the air that came along with the change of the season. Christmas was right around the corner, the local radio stations were constantly playing the seasonal music. It was currently filling the garage. Bowie and Ace had both just left after trying to convince me to go to the races tonight. They had finally given up because there was no way I was going to the races, especially after losing to Ryce last time. No, instead I’d just hide out in the garage and work on cars.
Santa Baby came on the radio, one of Londynn’s favorite Christmas songs. I remember her telling me about it one night while we lay in bed. She told me all about how she spent her holidays. She had spent all her time listening and singing along to the seasonal songs while helping Vivienne cook and bake. She had told me it was one of her favorite holidays. I had been looking forward to sharing it with her this year, for us to get a tree and decorate it together but now…now there was nothing. She was in New York living her dream and I was stuck here in my own personal hell that I had created.
Sliding out from under the car I get up and changed the station to the local 80s rock station. That was better, I didn’t need any more reminders of Londynn then I already had. Between my run in with Duke at the races and always seeing Farrah it was hard enough to keep Londynn off my mind. Although the past month had been the hardest, ever since Patricia had showed up here one night, it had been a month, but it still felt like yesterday.
It had been late and the only thing that had tipped me off that someone had joined me was the sound of heels. I can’t lie, my heart sped up at that sound because I instantly had a hope that it would be Londynn. However, when I looked up I was beyond shocked to see an older version of Farrah. Patricia Parrish was standing in my garage, looking completely out of place. Her navy-blue pant suit and heels certainly didn’t fit in here. “Can I help you?”
“I hope so. Jagger James, correct?” I had simply nodded. “I was hoping that maybe you have heard from daughter.”
I had contemplated giving her an answer before finally realizing that I should regardless of how I felt about her personally. Londynn was her daughter and she seemed genuinely concerned at the moment. “I haven’t spoken to Londynn since before she left.”
“Oh okay," she had replied, and she had sounded almost defeated.
“Are you alright?”
She shakes her head “You were kind of my last hope. I haven’t heard from her since she moved.”
“Have you tried to call her?” I asked.
A sad smile appeared on her face. “Yes, but sadly our relationship wasn’t on the best terms when she left. I just wanted to check on her, make sure she’s happy.”
“No offense but I don’t recall you being very concerned about her happiness before.” I pointed out.
“None taken. I was concerned about her happiness, but my own misery had taken over my life at that point. Now that I have filed for a legal separation from Curtis I can see just how wrong I have been. Londynn had always followed
her heart and I think a very selfish part of me was jealous that my daughter had found you. She had found a love that was unconditional, and she was willing to give up everything to follow her heart. I wasn’t that brave at her age. You made my daughter happy and even in my self-medicated state I could see that," she sighs before continuing. “I was actually very shocked to find out that my daughter had left for New Yok considering that she had you.”
I toss my rag on the hood of the car with a little more force than I had intended. “She didn’t. I’m sure you heard about the attack on my brother. I blamed myself and our relationship. I asked her to leave.”
“Oh…well I guess that makes sense. Londynn wouldn’t leave if she believed there was still a chance. Well, if you hear from here will you ask her to call me please?”
“Yes, I will," I reply to her.
Right before she exits she turns back to look at me. “My daughter loves you Jagger and I can’t imagine that has changed. You’re both very lucky to have found one another.”
Her words had haunted me ever since that night. “Love Bites” by Def Leppard came on the radio and I couldn’t help but feel like it explained my life right now. I was under the car when I heard the shop door shut. Sliding out from under the car I stood up while wiping my hands on my rag. Turning around I felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. That honey colored hair and deep hazel eyes left me shocked and breathless. Londynn. Londynn was here.
****
Londynn
I had called and asked Farrah to pick me up from the airport. She was more than happy to help. By time we had made it through traffic it was almost time for Pedal to the Metal to start. I didn’t want to ambush Jagger, so Farrah had me drop her off while she went to look for Jagger. She called a few minutes later and told me that Jagger wasn’t here but the last Bowie and Ace knew he was at the garage. I threw her Range Rover into drive and headed back towards the garage.
When I pulled up I wasn’t shocked to see Jagger’s Camaro out front. As I pulled in next to it I found my nerves going wild. What if he didn’t want to see me? What if he was seeing someone else now? What if he hated me? So many questions. Finally, after I had given myself a pep talk I got out of the Range Rover and made my way to the door. As I got closer I heard a song that I had actually found myself listening to quite often over the past few months.
I took a deep breath before opening the door. I was trying to prepare myself for whatever might happen and coming face to face with Jagger again. Last time I had seen him he had been so angry that he hadn’t even been able to look at me, so I wasn’t sure what to expect now. The door shut with a loud bang which must have alerted him that someone was here. He slid out from under the car and as he turned around his amber eyes locked with mine. My heart felt like it was about to burst through my chest. “Hi.” I managed to croak out.
He stood there just staring at me. Not moving, not breaking eye contact and not saying anything. I was beginning to think this was a bad idea when he finally said. “Londynn?”
I took a deep breath and a step towards him. “Look I know that when we last saw each other things were a mess and I just wanted to say I’m so--.”
Jagger cut me off “I’m sorry Londynn. I was a jerk. I should have never treated you like that. I’ve regretted it every day since that night.” I closed the distance between us and grabbed his shirt and pulled him towards me. As soon as my lips met his I felt every nerve in my body calm. This was the dream I wanted now. Jagger was where I was meant to be now. Jagger pulled away for a moment. “I love you Londynn.”
“I love you too Jagger," I tell him before he pulls my mouth back to his.
Epilogue
Jagger
It was New Year’s Eve tonight and I had some big plans for Londynn and I. We had ended up spending Christmas together, first with my family and then with hers minus her father. It had turned out to be kind of perfect but then again anytime I got to spend with her was perfect to me. We had started working on her dance studio at the beginning of the week. Seeing the excitement in her eyes made everything we had been through worth it.
Looking back, I couldn’t believe how prideful and foolish I had been. I had pushed her away and I could have very easily lost her. Thankfully, she was willing to sit her pride aside for our relationship. I owed all my happiness to her. That’s why I knew this night was the perfect time.
My loft had been covered in flower petals and candles thanks to the help of Kynlee and Farrah. I wanted everything to be perfect for Londynn tonight. I had Kings of Leon playing throughout the place. I heard the door lock turning with the key that I had given Londynn.
When she stepped inside I saw the shock register on her face even in the muted light that the candles put off. “Jagger, what is all this?” She asked looking around the loft.
“It’s for you. I wanted tonight to be special," I tell her.
She smiles and closes the distance between us. “Jagger, you know every night I get to spend with you is perfect. You didn’t have to any of this but it’s beautiful.” She kisses me quickly.
“Well I fixed your favorite meal and I figured since we had decided to stay in and just watch the ball drop on TV that this was the least I could do," I explain to her. She turns around to look at the kitchen and it was the perfect time. I grabbed the box out of my pocket and dropped to my knee. When Londynn turned around she gasped in surprise. I took her hand in mine. “Londynn Faith Parrish, I love you with everything I have. You would make me the luckiest man in the world if you’d agreed to marry me. So, will you marry me?”
Londynn drops down to her knees and throws her arms around my neck while whispering yes over and over. I finally get her to stop long enough for me to slip the ring on her finger. She smiles through her tears, tears that I know are happy this time. “I love you Jagger James.” I kiss her again and I can’t help but feel like the luckiest guy. I’d had love before and lost it and somehow, I got lucky enough to find it again. Londynn Parrish would become Londynn James someday in the future and I couldn’t wait to see what the future held.
About the Author
I’m a small-town country girl with a rock n’ roll edge. I have a degree in business and accounting but writing and all things book related are my passion. I read a little bit of everything, but I always love a little bit of romance in there. I’m an avid bookworm some of my favorite authors being Edgar Allan Poe, Abbi Glines, Nicholas Sparks, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Alessandra Torre. Also, music obsessed and bookmark collector. I’m a hopeless romantic that loves to write romance with some twists added in. When I’m not busy reading or writing I’m probably binge-watching Netflix or PassionFlix. I love all things bling, hockey, superhero, Tim Burton, peonies and Audrey Hepburn.
Extras
Coming Soon!
Pedal to the Metal (James Brothers Series Book 1) Page 24