by Holly Hook
"I'll go with you," Xavier said.
The four of us left Xavier's place. Sure, we could defend ourselves against any Normals who bothered us (other than the ATC and the others with heavy duty weapons) but other threats existed. We weren't invulnerable.
We left Xavier's house behind. Poor Xavier needed to sleep more than I did, and I could see the bags developing under his eyes. Even his enhanced powers didn't eliminate that need. It was no wonder the guy lived on coffee. How else did he keep up with Alyssa?
We traveled through the Underground and later through sewer tunnels until we got close to Alyssa's new house. Her father was renting a different place a few blocks from me, thanks to their old address getting blown. Once she was inside the small house, we crawled back into the sewer system, which I was memorizing by now. We walked under where my cousin's home used to stand, and as we did, I could smell the ashes and the ruined memories. I picked up my pace, thinking of George. He was still staying in hotel rooms. I felt slimy for talking about him with the ATC at all. Why didn't creativity come to me?
The sounds of traffic increased as we got closer to my apartment. By the time Xavier pushed open the sewer cover and waved us into an alley, the light outside had turned gray. There wasn't a cloud in the sky. Crap. I'd have to spend the first half of the day holed up in my room, because the living room of our new apartment had a big window that let plenty of natural light in. I wouldn't be able to stand in it for long today without getting super sick.
Brendan managed a nervous smile at me. "I can walk you up to your door."
"Sounds good," I blurted before the implications hit. This guy had a crush on me and he did a poor job of hiding it. That was the awkward nerd in him.
Brendan and Xavier exchanged a glance of encouragement. The guys had been talking about girls, then. Xavier must have given Brendan advice.
But why was I making a big deal over this? He wanted to walk me to the door.
"Come on," Brendan said. "Do you hear anything suspicious?"
"Just someone taking a shower three floors up," I said.
We walked out of the alley and onto the sidewalk. Tall apartments surrounded us. Brendan reached up to his gray hood and pulled it down. His curly hair expanded. I wanted to touch it to see what it felt like.
I shook my head.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing," I said.
"You know, I wish I had hearing like yours," he said.
"No, you don't," I said. "It's not showing any signs of fading. Sometimes I hear things I don't want to know about. This is an apartment complex, Brendan."
He grimaced. "You have a point. Might be entertaining though."
"No, it's not. If you're good, I'll tell you what I heard two floors down two nights ago."
"Okay. Now I'm interested," he said with a grin.
"I thought you were a nerd."
"I'm still a man. Don't nerds still fall under that?"
I laughed. "Just teasing," I said.
Brendan stuffed his hands in his hoodie pockets. "So, your mom doesn't know you Turned yet? How are you hiding that from her?"
"I pretend to eat breakfast every morning. Mom's busy, so that helps," I said. "There's never time for family meals. What I do is leave crumbs on plates and I scrape the food out the window."
Brendan's look got serious. "Aren't you worried about her finding out?"
"Every day," I admitted. "What about your folks? Do they know yet?"
I'd asked the wrong question. Brendan snapped his gaze to the sidewalk. Though I opened the building door for him, he maintained that. "I left," he said. "They weren't worth it. My mom ran off a long time ago and my dad went to jail for tax evasion. Then I had to stay with my older brother and his girlfriend, and they're into some stuff I didn't want to be around, so I got out of there."
"I'm sorry."
Brendan pulled his gaze from the carpet of the empty lobby. "Sleeping in the park sure beat the fights he got into sometimes at his house. One guy in that gaming party tonight showed up at my brother's house once. Accused him of stealing money and almost stabbed him."
"Oh. At least you're out of there."
"With great results," he said, smiling enough to show his fangs. Unlike me, Brendan didn't file. He lived in the Underground now. There was no need. "I vowed I wouldn't get into anything bad when I left my brother's house. I still went to my classes and studied. Then I wound up getting into worse stuff than my brother managed. Which floor is yours?"
"Fifth."
We boarded the elevator together. The sounds of people stirring surrounded me. Brendan had good hearing, but not as good as mine, so he might hear half of what I did. He was a tough guy, striking out in a dangerous city on his own and surviving what Bathory had done to him.
And I thought my family was bad.
"What are you going to do?" I asked. We stood inches from each other.
Brendan flicked his hand like he wanted to take mine. "Well, I could try to continue my classes, but I stopped for a full month after getting bitten and transfused. I'm wondering if getting human blood transfusions would do anything for me."
"You can always go back. I go to school. It's just a matter of staying out of full sun and dressing right. But I have Xavier to call in case things get bad. Wait. You're not thinking of checking out the ATC thing?"
Brendan turned his reddened eyes to me. "I'm thinking about it. They seem to think they can help."
"It's the ATC. They make money from the fears of Normals. That's all it is. There's nothing in us that needs to get fixed." What was I saying? Having to bite people was a problem. Well, with the blood bag supply gone. If it wasn't for that, the attack on the party wouldn't have happened.
The elevator dinged as it climbed. "You don't understand," he said. "I thought I would finally get away from the crap that is my life and get things together, but this is what happened. I never asked for it or to have a screwed up family that doesn't even want me, okay?"
Silence fell over the small space. I hated elevators now. Maybe we should have used the stairs because now I was feeling like an idiot with Brendan staring at the wall next to me.
"Sorry," I said. "You're right. It sucks. My dad left when I was a baby and my mom won't tell me anything about the guy. They must have had an ugly fight."
"It might have had nothing to do with you," Brendan said. The air was clearing. At least we had something in common, right?
"I don't know. My dad must not have wanted to have a kid. He left when I was two months old."
"You don't know," Brendan said. "My mom couldn't handle being a mom. That's what my brother said. The guy might have problems, but he remembers her. I guess she had to deal with a lot of depression, so at least she had an excuse. My dad was just a jerk. Maybe that was why my mom left. Oh, I shouldn't be telling you this. Sorry."
We passed the fourth floor. "It's fine," I said. "I guess we all have crap in our past, right?" I thought of Alyssa and Xavier. They both had plenty. "Your dad just avoided taxes. Who knows what mine's done?"
Brendan didn't respond. A storm brewed inside him. He shifted his gaze around the elevator as if he couldn't wait for the doors to open. "I'll walk you to your door," he said.
He did as he promised. My apartment was halfway down the hall and I heard nothing except for another shower starting and some snores from one down the hall, so I waved Brendan along. This remained safe from Bathory's people, then. My mother slept inside, calm and untroubled. I heard nothing from within but a slow breathing and a resting pulse.
We stopped in front of the door. "Thanks," I said.
Brendan pulled his hood back on, smashing his hair. I still wanted to feel it to see what it was like. "It was no problem," he said. "I should get going before the sun makes it up."
He stood there for a moment like he was trying to figure out what to say. I tensed. Even with my heightened senses I couldn't tell what he wanted to do next. Brendan leaned forward and then shook his head
the tiniest bit. It was a motion not meant for me. "I'll see you later," he said.
I swallowed. "Later."
Then Brendan turned away, and I watched as he boarded the elevator. I stood in front of my door as he descended to where Xavier was waiting to lead him back through the sewer.
It might have been my imagination, but he might have muttered a few angry words to himself just before reaching the bottom.
"I don't deserve it."
Chapter Seven
Slipping back into the apartment was easy. Since I could hear all the inner workings of the door, I had a great sense of what would make it squeak when I opened it. I could figure out how to turn the key and make a minimal noise. The same with opening the door itself. I stepped into the kitchen and locked things back up.
The stove clock told me it was six thirty in the morning. Mom would get up in two hours, maybe a little more. She continued to sleep in her room. Lucky for me, she was a sound sleeper and always had been. That amazed me since she had spent almost two decades raising me alone, without a single boyfriend in the picture. Mom was a tough woman.
At least she didn't question why I put up my extra blankets over my window. Sure, they only served a purpose during the day—keeping almost all the sun out—but plenty of teenagers did that. I retreated to my room and went over Brendan's words. There was more to the guy than I first suspected. I had known Brendan had been on the streets, trying to make it on his own for a little while, but I had known nothing about his past beyond that and the torture Bathory had inflicted on him. He was another tough person.
Did he think he didn't deserve friends?
Or me?
Had he even said that? My hearing was awesome but not perfect. There were things even I couldn't pick up.
And did I like Brendan beyond wanting to touch his hair?
I flopped down on the bed as the light brightened and tried to stab through the window blanket. The events of that night crashed down on me and I wanted to turn on the TV for the early morning news. What about that awful man me and Alyssa had bitten? He must have gone to the hospital for sure. Me, her, and Brendan had all bitten someone. We had done our part to make sure Abnormals looked bad, and maybe we deserved the reputation.
I hated that the ATC might be right.
A part of me wanted to page through that folder of brochures again, but we'd left them at Xavier's place, where they'd be the safest. Xavier would make copies for others in the Underground to see, including his mean aunt. I doubted she'd want to take action with the threat of the military. War Mages were proud and arrogant, but even they wouldn't withstand rocket launchers and helicopters.
I slept for maybe two hours when I flopped down on my bed. When I woke, the light outside was bright and trying to peek between the blanket and the wall. It wasn't enough to cause any ill effects, but I stayed away from the window. The first half of today would suck. I'd only slept for part of my house arrest and now I'd have to hide for the rest of that time. Even though I'd gained amazing powers, I was a prisoner during the day unless I liked migraines and seizures.
Mom had left the apartment, so I dared to creep out into the living room. The sliding door that led to our balcony had the blinds still shut, which kept out some sunlight, but slivers still made it to the carpet. I imagined that Mom needed to run errands, which she sometimes did on Saturday, so that gave me time to turn on the TV. I couldn't focus on studying even though I had a huge test on Monday. My mind kept drifting back to the guy Alyssa, and I had hurt. More like, that fact kept crashing into me, demanding attention.
I wanted to get my life together, pull my grades up, be something, and help my friends.
There was no way I wanted to be a monster.
The news had already played by now and there wouldn't be another airing until this evening—and Sunday played no news at all unless the world was about to end. We didn't have cable (no loss) but that wouldn't have showed any local stuff, anyway. Since I still had a crappy contract-free phone that Mom monitored, I couldn't look up any articles, either, or ask Alyssa about the night before. As far as Mom knew, we were staying away from each other and I was only hanging out with Maisha.
(Who had only given me fearful glances in the hall since she figured out my secret last week.)
It was a crappy morning, and I felt alone.
Mom stayed gone for a while. Some clouds moved in, so I could pull the blanket back a little and peer outside. A small headache started, but it was nothing unbearable. I tried to study Physics—I only had to bring my grade up three more points to reach the A-minus range that would make Mom happy—but something in my gut kept bothering me. Even going over the attack at the party didn't put it to rest.
Then it hit me out of nowhere.
George.
I got out my phone and dialed his number. How did I tell him I had given out way too much information about him to the ATC by mistake? That they had records of everyone in the city along with every fire? It was something I hadn't expected, but it would sound low of me no matter how I put things.
My cousin still had his new phone, and he picked up after the second ring. "Hey, Janine. How's my little cuz?"
I breathed a sigh of relief. "I had an adventure last night," I said. "And you're my second cousin, so you can't call me little."
"I'm still older. Therefore, you're little." Even over the phone I could sense his smile. George worked as a DJ. "Your mom's not around?"
"No."
"So, how are you adjusting?" he asked.
George knew I had Turned. I'd been staying at his old house when it happened, and being a werewolf, he could smell the difference. But he kept my secret safe as I did with him. Mom didn't know the truth.
I broke down and told George about last night. "I thought I would get away with using blood bags. There was no way I thought I'd have to, you know, bite people most of the time. But I bit the principal and then I broke into a party and bit a guy who was hitting his girlfriend--"
"It sounds like they both deserved it," George said. "You did a service. I bit a bunch of ATC agents and gave them a taste of their own medicine. But I get it. It sucks thinking about what you have to do sometimes. Once all this calms down, I'm sure there will be more blood bags in the city and the Underground. Then you won't have to bite people anymore. It might not be fun being Abnormal sometimes. Besides, I thought you were excited about getting new powers and staying up all night?"
I knew George was just trying to make me feel better. "I was," I said. "That was before the food supply vanished and before I had to try going to school like this. I guess my mom's right I don't think enough. Sure, I can study more for class in class, but--"
"You already do well in class," George said. "Your mother's hard on you."
"But there's more," I said. Here came the bad part. "When I went up into the ATC building, I told them I had a werewolf cousin I wanted to help so they'd give me one of those brochures. Those ladies were ninjas, and they had guns, so when they asked for my name, I had to give it to them. They have a system to track everyone in the city. It was something I didn't expect."
"Sheesh," George said. "If the public finds out about that, there will be an uproar. And besides, I'm sure you gave them a fake name."
"I did," I said. "I'm Janine Smith."
"Clever."
"But there's more." I gulped. "They kept pressing me and wouldn't let me leave the nineteenth floor. They wanted your address and they would look it up, so I had no choice but to tell them you were between homes and that I didn't know it."
"Smart," George said.
"But I also blurted out that you lost your house in a fire."
George went silent. I heard him grab a counter on the other side of the phone. Behind him, people opened hotel doors, and a dog paraded down the hall. He was in a pets-allowed place, then.
"Oh."
"I blurted it out. I'm stupid," I said.
"Don't call yourself stupid. You're not. Those ninja ladies
had you under some major stress."
"But I should have thought they could look up whose houses burned down over the past month. I'm sure the ATC can talk to the fire department. They have almost as much power as the government. Don't they?"
"Well, they have to if they can detain people."
My second cousin had a lot of tension in his voice. He spoke like someone who had just found out he was on the Most Wanted list.
"Keep moving," I told him. "If you have to leave the city, I understand. I might get Xavier to help pay for that." We were using the poor guy as a bank and it made me feel even more slimy. This whole thing did. Screwing my cousin over was something I would never have the ability to fix. "Or you can come to the Underground."
"I'd have to give up my career."
"Not necessarily," I said. A bad taste rose into my throat. "The Underground helps Abnormals get new identities if they need it. They will help." This was hurting George. The guy wanted a Normal life and the events of the past couple of months had ripped that from him. "Just don't use credit cards, okay?"
"I already used one to pay for my room," George said. A faint growl crept into his voice. The beast within him wanted to stir, and I was the cause. "I'll leave this place right now and withdraw cash. This isn't your fault, Janine. You didn't know the ATC would drill you like that. This Grimes dude means business. In fact, you should have called me to come help you out."
"I know you hate this stuff."
"Call me next time, okay? You shouldn't have had to do that. Or jump out a third story window." The growl vanished. "I think I'll head to the Super Eight over by you tonight and use cash, just in case."
"Okay."
I hung up as the door unlocked. During our conversation, I hadn't heard Mom coming back in. Paying attention mattered. Grocery bags crinkled, and I told George goodbye. Mom needed help with all that stuff. I'd made the mistake of forgetting to unload the groceries once, and it wasn't something I wanted to do again.
* * * * *
The night couldn't get here early enough. Though I wasn't hungry yet and wouldn't be for another day or two, the apartment was tiny when I knew I had to stay inside it. We didn't live in a bad part of Cumberland, but Mom didn't want me wandering around alone even during the daytime. She'd freak if she knew I sneaked out at night.