by London Casey
“Tell me everything,” Slade said. “I can’t stop thinking about it.”
“About what?”
“Liv, your brother thinks you’re pregnant.”
I touched Slade’s face where he had gotten attacked. He didn’t flinch as I touched the cuts and bruises. I felt my heart ache so bad for him.
“You first,” I whispered. “Why did you let them do that to you?”
Slade grinned. “Sometimes in life you take a beating. Maybe for good reason, maybe for bad. I took my beating, beautiful. It was the least I could do for you and Owen.”
“But why?”
“For everything that happened.”
“But you’re innocent, right?”
“Liv, he pulled me over and cuffed me, okay? He was pissed that I was in town. Scared for you, I’m sure. I know how your brother is. He’s been that way since the day I met him. Always trying to control the situation and keep everything on the right side of the law. I know that’s because of your father’s death. He only ever meant well for you, Liv. Yeah, some of things were wrong and fucked us up bad. I’m sorry about that. He must have called Walker to come and do the dirty work.”
“That’s what Owen does now,” I said. “He has Walker do things. So it doesn’t fall back on him. Then he arrests Walker and makes it look like he’s going to get him into trouble but he never does.”
“That’s what happened. I must say though that for a guy in cuffs I walked away not all that bad, right?”
I smiled. “You look even hotter with your face all fucked up, Slade. I swear on it. You’re so sexy.”
Slade brushed his lips against mine and then sat next to me. He reached for my hand and squeezed it. “The truth is... I was as guilty as anyone thought about that night. I was stealing you away from your family and from your town. I know you wanted to go with me, Liv, but we were doing it wrong. I should have been a better man and proved to everyone who I was because of you. Instead, I wanted to be the outlaw and take you with me. That doesn’t justify what your brother did. It doesn’t matter now though. What matters is that you have a boyfriend who thinks you’re carrying his child.” Slade looked at me. “What are you thinking?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know. Owen is so overbearing. Walker was a nice guy and things just got too far. It’s like Owen and Walker are dating and using me.”
“That sounds sick.”
“It’s how I feel. I hate when Walker touches me.”
I saw Slade’s lip curl. “I don’t want to fucking think about that.”
“You don’t have to. It’s been a long time. He’s always busy and I usually blame my period. He’s afraid of blood.”
“What a pussy.”
“Exactly. He came home drunk and started to go after me. He had my period memorized or something and I freaked out and said I was pregnant. I did it to scare him away, which worked. But obviously...”
“Christ, Liv.”
“I know. He ran and told Owen. Then Owen said something in front of my mother.”
“How is Sue? I think she was the only one who liked me.”
“My mother adored you,” I said. “She’s sort of sick, I think.”
“What do you mean?”
“She forgets things. Her mind is slipping, Slade. I’ve been watching it for months. It’s...”
Slade put his arms around me and hugged me tight. “Oh, damn, Liv. I’m so sorry.”
That hug and that apology was all I had ever wanted in the situation. I couldn’t save my mother from whatever was happening or would happen, but having Slade show compassion felt good.
“Thank you,” I whispered. “I have to find a way to talk to her about it.”
“I can’t imagine, Liv.”
“She seemed so happy when she found out I was pregnant.”
“But you’re not pregnant.”
“No. You saw the test. I wouldn’t lie to you about that.”
“So what’s your plan here, Liv?” Slade asked.
“I have no idea. I was thinking...” I swallowed hard. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I could just make up another story. But I have to do it soon, I guess.”
“I can’t believe you’re in this position. It’s bullshit.”
“I know it is,” I said. “This is where I ended up, Slade. I kind of just got dumped in it all.”
“By me.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“That’s what you mean though,” he said.
I put a hand to his bare chest and kissed his steel jaw. “Slade, I wish we could go back and fix it all. I would have never begged you to go up to the ridge that night. I just wanted to feel alive and free with you.”
“Things happen. So now what do we do?” he asked. “Your brother is going to come after me hard. I’m not afraid of him. Or Walker. But I’m afraid for you. If I asked you right now to pack a bag and leave... do what we planned on doing...”
My heart raced. My fingers trembled. “We’re not young anymore, Slade. You know that. What would we do?”
“Who cares?” he asked. “Get on the back of my ride and let’s go. Ride into the sunset like we’ve always dreamed about doing.”
“That sounds amazing,” I whispered.
“Then let’s do it.”
“Slade... I can’t just run from everything. I have to face this. I have to right my wrong here. Especially with my mother. If she’s sick, who is going to take care of her? I can’t have her thinking that I’m pregnant. And Walker will chase us down. He’ll spend any money in the world to get to me.”
“Seriously? That’s what you want to say right now?”
“What else would I say?”
“So it’s not the same as before then,” Slade said.
“You realize time has passed, right? I did something really stupid.”
“Yeah, apparently. You fucking slept with me.”
Slade took his arm from me. He rubbed his chin, the stubble on his face, and then gritted his teeth.
“Slade,” I said. “No. It’s not like this. No.”
He looked right at me. “Then what is it like, Liv? You want me to ride around at night, sneaking in and out of your bedroom window? Steal you and hide you? I did that before. I don’t want that again. I want you, beautiful. All of you. Fuck everything in this world. It’s given us nothing. The only time I’ve felt alive was when I’m with you.”
He reached for my hand and interlocked his fingers to mine.
“Slade... please...”
“Please what?” he asked. “Be honest with me. Don’t be afraid, Liv. I don’t want you to keep living in fear.”
“Living in fear? Is that what you think of me?”
“Why wouldn’t I?” Slade asked. “You work at the same diner. You live in the same town. You take the same shit from your brother. You worry about everyone else but yourself and what you want. You’re trapped in something like a relationship to make your brother happy. You let that man touch you... you let him fuck you...”
I gasped. I ripped my hand from Slade’s and slapped him. “Don’t talk like I’m some fucking whore.”
He rubbed his cheek and smiled. “You only did that because I said the truth.”
“Fuck you, Slade.” I slithered from the bed and Slade grabbed the sheet. I didn’t care. I stood up, completely naked, and looked over my shoulder. “You hurt me.”
“Hurt you?” he asked. “I saved you. I protected you. Your brother gave me no choice but to fucking leave town or else he would nail me down for a murder that was not a murder at all. It was my only way of helping you.”
“Yeah? Well your help sucks.”
I spit fire at a man who could spit an inferno back at me. But in that moment, I swore I saw Slade start to break. His face dropped. I had hurt him.
He slowly reached for me, his fingertips touching my ass. Goddamn, he was amazing. My skin tightened and tingled at the same time.
“I never wanted to hurt you,” he said. “Ever, Li
v. I thought if I was gone you could move on and have a good life. I could never give you that life. The house. The neighborhood. The local bullshit events in town, right? That was never me. But I never set out to hurt you.”
For a second, I thought about stepping back into his touch. But my mind was too stubborn to do it. I hated Slade. I loved Slade. I wanted to run away with him, but I couldn’t. Right?
I stepped away from him and started to collect my clothes. I got dressed and walked to the door. I stood there and looked back at him. The way he was on the bed, his right hand clutching the side of the bed, staring at me. His shoulder, arm, chest, all flexing. His eyes were so dark and so beautiful.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “For everything, Slade. You deserve more. You deserve better. I’m a mess.”
“Liv,” he said. “I swear on my life... I’ll always love you.”
I felt my throat squeeze. “I know, Slade. I know.”
I left the bedroom and rushed to the front door.
I stopped and realized I had no ride home. I lowered my head and stood there, crying. The tears fell and my heart twisted into a tight knot. That’s where my heart was best kept. Only Slade could untie the knot, but that came with so much more...
“Liv, let me give you a lift home.”
I felt a hand touch my shoulder. It was Slade’s powerful, loving hand.
“Slade...”
“No,” he said. “No more talking, Liv. You’re right about everything.”
He opened the door, put his hand to my back, and led the way out of the apartment. He didn’t even hold my hand on the walk to his motorcycle. I felt cold, numb, like I was dying inside.
I put on his helmet and climbed on behind him.
It was our last ride...
(SLADE)
I didn’t get off my motorcycle. Liv handed me my helmet and she lingered for a few seconds. There were tears in her eyes. I didn’t want this. Neither did she. But I wasn’t going to fuck around. All or nothing with me. I could take beatings. I could sneak around town. How long would that last for us? Was that what romance was?
“You have a lot to think about,” I said. “I just hope you understand how real it is for me, Liv. What it means to me.”
“Me too, Slade. I have to fix what I messed up. I hope you understand that.”
“I don’t. But I’m not going to command your life, beautiful. I tried to take you away twice and it didn’t work both times.”
“What happens now, Slade? Are you leaving?”
“That doesn’t matter. I want you to be happy, Liv. Find it. Face it. Get lost in it. You deserve happiness.”
“You deserve...”
“No,” I said. “I’m not doing that game.”
I grabbed her hand and kissed it.
She pulled her hand away and started to cry harder.
I started my motorcycle.
This was pointless now. Spitting cheap words at each other was only going to crush ourselves even more. Maybe in some fucked up way Liv was right. There was so much to lose and for her, she wasn’t sure what she would gain. I could accept that. What the hell did I have to offer?
I put my helmet on and then walked backward.
I sat, hit the throttle, and then sped away.
The growls of my motorcycle drowned out everything around me, but not the sound of Liv crying inside my mind.
I stopped an hour into my ride.
My heart fucking hurt. My body felt like shit. I wanted to ride back into Daystron and get her. I wanted her so badly.
I thought about it long and hard.
What could I give her?
Simple.
I could give her love, passion, and protection that no man could ever come close to doing. Nobody would be me and Liv would live her life searching. But that was her own fault. She fucking was faking a pregnancy. She’d have to come clean sooner or later.
I grabbed my cell and knew what I had to do next.
Distance was the only thing that would save us both.
So that’s what I did.
I put distance between us.
“Hey, you crazy fuck! Where you at?”
“I’m on my way there,” I said to Ace. “I have to ask something.”
“What is it, brother?”
“Your offer about getting patched in to the Savage Vipers... is that still standing?”
“Fucking hell, brother,” Ace said. “It’s always standing for you, Slade.”
“Good. Run it by your President and VP. I’ll be there soon.”
I heard Ace howl as I ended that call.
There was no looking back now. I could only look forward. No more riding around like a brokenhearted asshole pretending to be a true outlaw. It was time to take a cut, get a patch, and settle in.
No more romance. No more living in the past.
I was going to live... by trying to die.
(SLADE)
*TEN WEEKS LATER*
I saw the prospect’s feet moving too fast. His eyes were too wide. He was way too obvious what he wanted to do and he was going to get his ass lit up bad. We were all drunk, the guys surrounding the boxing ring, smoking cigs, cigars, other stuff, and all cheering for me to knock the fucking teeth out of the prospect.
Not that I was against it, I wanted to teach this little prick how to actually fight. This was a fucking serious life and all it took was one wrong punch to end up on the ground. And in this life... when you hit the ground you were better off hitting your head and dying, because whatever came next wasn’t going to be good.
I got close to the prospect and saw the right side of his ribs wide open. One hard punch and he’d be coughing up blood from his lungs.
Stupid kid.
He threw a right and I put my right hand up and caught his fist. I then put my left side to his ribs.
“See that?” I said. “Wide open, kid. Your punch would have went by me. I would have hit you in the ribs and you would have lost your breath. Then I’d hit you in the side of the head and the last thing you’d see is Major’s ugly fucking face looking at you.
Major had a fat cigar in his mouth and wore a pair of aviator sunglasses. He clapped his hands, his massive arms full of tattoos lifted into the air.
“Come on!” Ace yelled. “Knock him out, Slade!”
I circled around the ring with the prospect.
This was part of my life now. I loved fucking fighting. It was so freeing. It was such a great feeling to let off steam and let out all the anger I had been holding in for such a long time.
The prospect did the same damn thing again so I made him pay.
I slammed my fist into his ribs and he jumped to left, against the ropes, letting out a babyish yelp. He then hung there, his knees bent, shaking.
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Fucking kill him!” Callum yelled.
He was sporting a really nice black eye from an earlier bout with Rab. They beat each other bloody until they started to laugh. Then they hugged and went to share some whiskey and a woman. I almost felt bad for the woman. Two crazy guys like that with one woman. She wouldn’t walk for a week.
I closed in on the prospect. At the last second, he pushed back from the ropes and threw an elbow, cracking me in the jaw. It was a nice sly move, but a dick move that wouldn’t do shit on the street. Someone did that beyond the clubhouse and they’d get a bullet.
The prospect turned and swung a left. I let him crack me in the jaw a second time. It fucking hurt. The kid had some strength, he was just stupid and afraid.
As soon as he hit me, he pointed to the outside of the ring to a pretty little blonde sitting on a picnic table. Wearing a low cut purple tank, some tight jeans, she was something cute. She smiled at the prospect and then looked at me. Her eyes went wide and she bit her bottom lip.
Yup. She was mine.
The prospect put his hands up and started to dance like a little bitch, like he had done something.
I looked back at the guy
s outside the ring. I looked at Lael, the Savage Viper’s MC President. I opened my hands and Prez gave the nod to me.
I tightened up my right fist and stood there, waiting.
In those precious moments, knowing I was going to destroy this little punk, all I could think about was Liv. It had been two months since we last saw each other. Her little lie couldn’t have been a lie anymore. She had to have been busted by now. Whether an honest confession or another darker lie. It all stirred inside me and pissed me off.
Touching that woman’s body was like I could replicate Liv. Tasting her lips, her skin, her pussy, everything, there was no taste that matched. No matter how many women I ran through with the Viper’s, it wasn’t the same. Even with the craziest of women that hung around the MC, ones that would do anything to me, anything to other women, and let me do anything to them, I always caught myself going back to Liv.
The prospect started to turn. “That’s how you fucking fake them out.”
The kid turned just a little more and looked at me. The shit eating grin on his face was the last grin he’d ever have.
I swung my right fist, looking to kill. It was dangerous when the rage got the best of me.
I hit the prospect so hard, his head snapped to the right and he lifted off the ground and spun around, like he was in some damn ninja action movie or something. He hit the canvas, his head bouncing, and he was out cold.
The entire MC erupted into cheers.
Ace, Callum, and Matteo all came into the ring and started to grab at me, screaming.
I stared at the prospect.
Two more prospects came into the ring and grabbed for their buddy.
“Is he dead?” I asked.
“No, sir,” one prospect said.
There was a whistle.
Lael stood at the ropes. He was a fucking giant monster, a man who had been living the outlaw life his entire life.
“Take him to the hospital,” Lael said. “Say he got into a bar fight. Then wait for him to wake the hell up. Call Raven when he does. See where we go from there.”
The prospects took their knocked out friend from the ring.