"You wanted to make sure I didn't go back," she said, her voice deceptively even.
"At first… maybe. But you're not going back to Seattle. So we can turn this into a nice romantic weekend."
"Then you trust me?"
"Of course I trust you. Perrie, I only want you to be safe. You understand that you're better off in Alaska with me, right?"
She didn't know what to say. She felt as if she were lost in the wilderness without a compass. All these feelings were so new and unfamiliar, she had no landmarks to keep her on course. Her whole life, she'd always been in control. But now she'd turned that control over to someone else, and it left her dazed and vulnerable.
Damn it, if she wanted to go home, she could. He had no right to stop her! After all, she was a grown woman, able to make all the choices in her life, including whether she wanted to risk that life to get a story or whether she wanted to take a chance with Joe Brennan. And he shouldn't have a thing to say about it.
Perrie calmly marshaled her composure. "All right," she said. "Let's go to Cooper. Today."
"We'll leave after lunch," Joe said, tugging her back down into the bed.
"No," Perrie replied. "I think we should leave now." She grabbed her T-shirt and yanked it over her tangled hair, then crawled out of bed. "I should pack. And you should go up to the lodge and get your things."
Joe grabbed her hand and pulled her down to sit on the edge of the bed. "What's the hurry? Come back to bed, sweetheart."
She stood up. "No, I think we should leave now."
With a groan, Joe rolled out of bed. Perrie tried to ignore the way his muscles bunched and rippled as he held his arms above his head and stretched. He raked his hands through his hair, then bent down and snatched up his shirt from the floor. "All right. I'll go throw some things in a bag and come back and get you in fifteen minutes."
He slipped his feet into his boots and shrugged into his jacket before he grabbed her again and kissed her. "We're going to have a wonderful time," he murmured.
She watched him leave the cabin, then sat back down on the edge of the bed. Perrie pressed the heels of her hands to her temples. What was she doing? She had been in Muleshoe for two weeks. Long enough to forget all about why she was here in the first place. A story that had seemed so important suddenly didn't make any difference at all-and all because of one man. A man she barely knew.
And what had happened to her journalistic instincts? Why couldn't she read Joe Brennan's motives and feelings the way she was able to read so many others'? He had to know that Cooper represented her only opportunity to escape, to get back to Seattle. He had to know she'd try. And when she did, would he stop her, or would he let her go?
Maybe this was just an easy way to end things between them. Over the past week they'd been nearly inseparable. Sooner or later, Perrie had expected some declaration of his feelings, but he hadn't said a word. Maybe he didn't have feelings for her. Or perhaps she was just another in a long line of women who blew in and out of his life like spindrift.
Perrie drew a deep breath. She would formulate a plan. They would go to Cooper and she would find a way to leave. And if he let her go, then she'd know he didn't care. And if he made her stay, then she would demand to know why. He would have to reveal his true feelings for her-or admit that he was only doing a job.
A shiver ran down her spine. It all came to this. All this love she felt for him was riding on the answer to an impossibly simple question: Would he stop her?
Suddenly, she didn't want to ask the question. If she stayed in Cooper, she'd never need to know the answer. Perhaps it was unwise to force the issue, especially so soon. But then, the choice was bound to come up, for Milt would be calling her back to Seattle any day.
Somehow, it seemed easier this way. If he didn't want her, at least she wouldn't have to see it on his face. She'd walk out of his life without looking back. She would give them both a graceful exit.
Perrie stood up and rubbed the goose bumps from her arms. This was the right thing to do. She'd never been one to delay the inevitable. The sooner she knew, the sooner she could get on with the rest of her life.
The only problem was, she wanted the rest of her life to start now. And she wanted it to include Joe Brennan.
"I think we should have separate rooms."
Joe stopped short and looked at Perrie, not sure that he heard her right. They'd just arrived at the resort after an hour-long flight and Perrie had picked the last possible moment to drop her little bombshell. He knew something was bothering her for she'd been distant and uneasy since they'd left Muleshoe.
He thought she'd be happy that he had come along. After all, they'd spent so much time together in the past few days; he'd never considered that she might want to spend some time away from him. And after last night… What better place for them to be alone together but a beautiful resort in the middle of winter?
Sleigh rides, good food, dancing and the hot springs… indoor plumbing. He couldn't think of a more romantic place within a day's flight of Muleshoe.
But the trip had been hers, Joe mused, and he had essentially invited himself along. Maybe he was pushing too fast. Last night had been a huge step for them and he wouldn't be surprised if she harbored a few regrets. "Sure," he said. "Separate rooms are fine."
Perrie forced a grateful smile. "I mean, it's just that… well, we haven't really… and if we decide we don't want to, then-"
He reached out to stroke her cheek but drew his hand back before he touched her. "Perrie, it's all right."
"People might talk," she murmured, hoisting her shoulder bag up and starting toward the door.
Joe stared after her, shaking his head. If she really believed he bought that explanation, then he had some Alaskan swampland to sell her. It was obvious that she didn't want him along. When she won the prize, she assumed that she'd be going to Cooper Hot Springs with another pilot, one who wouldn't be watching her every minute of the day and night.
As he walked through the front door of the resort, realization hit him square in the face and he stopped, frozen in his tracks. She was planning to leave. Damn it, after all they'd been through, all that had happened between them, she was still determined to get back to Seattle.
Joe closed his eyes and tipped his head back, fighting the anger that bubbled up inside of him. Fine, he thought to himself. The hell if he was going to make her stay. Milt Freeman said it was safe for her to come back, so why not let her go? If Perrie could so easily throw away what they'd shared, then maybe it wasn't as special as he thought. She was just biding her time with him, waiting for the chance to get back to her real life.
Joe stepped up beside Perrie and filled out a registration card, signing his name with a frustrated flourish. Then he grabbed both of their keys and headed down the hall.
She caught up with him and touched his arm. "You understand, don't you?"
"Sure," Joe said. "This is your trip, not mine. In fact, if you want, I can fly back to Muleshoe right now."
His words seemed to take her by surprise, and for a second, he thought she might just accept his offer. "No, I'm glad you're here. Why don't we get unpacked and then we can get some lunch?"
Joe unlocked Perrie's room door and helped her carry her bags inside, tossing them on the bed. If she was determined to leave, he might as well make it easy for her. "Actually, I could use a shower," he said. "Why don't we meet in an hour? After we have lunch, we can try the hot springs."
Perrie nodded, then walked him to the door. "So I'll see you in an hour."
Joe stared down at her, wondering if this was the last time he'd ever look into her beautiful green eyes. Would she leave as soon as he was out of sight? He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her, to tell her that he was in love with her. But a strong instinct for self-preservation prevented him from saying anything. Time would tell if she really loved him.
He bent down and kissed her cheek. "All right, I'll see you later."
When he rea
ched the privacy of his own room, Joe dropped his duffel on the floor and cursed softly. Leaning back against the door, he raked his hands through his hair. "The first woman I ever love and she doesn't love me," he muttered. "Serves you right, Brennan."
As he stood against the door, he heard a sound outside in the hall. He turned and peered through the peephole in the door. Perrie looked both ways, then headed down the hall. A cynical laugh escaped his throat and Joe opened the door to follow her.
A few minutes later, he stood in the shadows in a corner of the resort's lounge, his attention fixed on the transaction being negotiated at the bar. His jaw tensed and his heart hardened. He should have known she'd try. He should have known.
He watched as she spoke to the bartender before she moved down the row of chairs to a man who sat alone at the end of the bar. They talked for three or four minutes, Perrie glancing around the room every few seconds, as if she knew she was being watched. Then she shook his hand and hurried out of the bar, passing so close to Joe that he could nearly touch her, yet never noticing his presence.
Joe watched until she was long gone before he stepped from the shadows. In a few strides, he crossed the room and slid onto the stool next to Perrie's gentleman friend. He turned and glanced at the guy, who nursed a half glass of beer. "The woman. The pretty one with the red hair. What did she want?"
The guy scoffed. "What business is it of yours, buddy?"
Joe stared at him long and hard, wondering if he should grab him by the collar now or wait a few more seconds. He slowly stood and leaned over the guy. "It's my business, all right? Answer my question."
The guy shrugged, his cocky attitude cooled by Joe's thinly veiled temper. "She wants me to fly her to Seattle."
"Is she paying you?"
"She gave me a credit card number for starters. Said there would be an extra five hundred for me in Seattle if I was willing to wait for the cash."
"What's your name?" Joe asked.
"Andrews. Dave Andrews."
"I've heard of you. So, Andrews, if I check you and your plane out, am I going to be happy?"
"Hey, buddy, I'm a good pilot. And I keep my plane in top shape. You can ask any of the guys around here."
"When does she want you to fly her out?"
"Late this afternoon."
Joe reached in his pocket for his wallet, then withdrew two fifty-dollar bills. "Call her room and tell her you can't fly her out until tomorrow morning. She's in room 37."
"Who the hell are you?"
"The name's Brennan. Joe Brennan."
Andrews blinked in surprise. "Polar Bear Air? Aren't you the guy who found that climber on Denali a few weeks back?"
"Yeah, that's me."
Andrews smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. "I heard all about that. Good eyes. But if you want this lady to go back to Seattle tomorrow morning, why don't you just fly her yourself?"
"I'm not sure that she's going to leave," joe replied. "I'm hoping she'll decide to stay. So if she doesn't meet you, I don't want you coming to look for her, all right?"
"But how am I gonna get paid?"
"I'll pay you."
Andrews considered the request for a moment, then nodded. "All right." He took a long swig of his beer. "What is mis woman to you? Wife? Girlfriend?"
"I'm not sure yet. But I'm about to find out." Joe pushed away from the bar, then turned back. "One more thing. If she does leave with you, and she changes her mind, I want you to bring her back here. I don't care where you are, just turn around and fly her back. All right?"
"Man, you must have it real bad for this girl."
The man had a talent for stating the obvious. "You'll do it?" Joe asked.
Andrews nodded. "Yeah, if she wants to come back, I'll bring her."
"I'd appreciate that. Now call her and tell her the flight's been delayed."
Andrews nodded and asked the bartender for a phone. Satisfied that he'd covered all his bases, Joe turned and walked out of the lounge. But instead of returning to his room, he headed out the front doors of the lobby into the frigid cold.
This was a dangerous game he was playing, risking his heart on a woman he'd come to love. If he had any shred of common sense left, he'd walk away, save himself the pain and regret he was certain to feel. But his heart overruled his brain. He couldn't give up on them, not yet. He had to believe that somewhere in Perrie's heart she cared for him, maybe even loved him. And that given time, she'd recognize her feelings.
But did he have enough time? Or would the clock suddenly run out, leaving him with nothing but memories of a woman he'd loved and lost?
Perrie stood nervously in the hallway outside her room, watching as Joe pushed the room key into the lock. She knew this moment was coming, but she was completely unprepared to handle it.
She and Joe had spent a wonderful day together, swimming in the hot springs, enjoying a long, leisurely dinner and taking a sleigh ride through the snow-kissed woods. For brief snatches of time, she forgot all about her plan to leave him and, instead, found herself captivated by his charm and gentle humor.
All this would have been avoided, had her pilot kept to their original plans. She would have left Joe waiting in his room before dinner, while she flew away to the safety of Seattle. Now she would have to wait until daybreak to make her escape.
Joe pushed the door open, then stepped aside. Perrie slowly walked past him, silently rehearsing the excuse she would give. She turned, but to her surprise, he was standing right there, so close she could feel the heat from his body.
In the blink of an eye, he pulled her against him and captured her mouth with his. He kissed her long and hard and she let him, knowing that it would be the last thing they shared.
He pressed his forehead against hers and looked down into her eyes. "You are so beautiful, Perrie. There are times when I can't keep from touching you." With gentle fingers, he brushed the hair from her temple, then touched his warm lips to the spot But he didn't kiss her again. It was as if he were waiting for her to say something.
Drawing up her courage, Perrie smiled brightly and stepped out of his embrace. "I-I'm really tired," she said, inwardly cringing at the trite excuse. "I think I'd like to turn in early." She swallowed hard. "Alone."
He showed no reaction to her words. In her heart, she wanted him to brush away her excuse and carry her into the room to make wild, passionate love to her against all her protests. But Joe simply shrugged and smiled.
"I'm tired, too," he said, his gaze fixed on her face.
He stared at her a long time, as if he were memorizing her features. And then he blinked and shook his head.
"Good night, sweetheart." He kissed her once more, a sweet and quiet kiss that nearly melted her icy resolve. She felt his fingers caress her cheek and then he was gone.
The sound of his room door closing drove a dagger into her heart and her breath caught in her chest at the pain. "Goodbye, Joe Brennan," she whispered, her throat tight with welling emotion.
The silence of her own room closed in around her. Perrie lay down on the bed and covered her eyes with her arms, willing away the doubt that assailed her mind. This was for the best. Even if they did love each other now, they would soon grow apart. To be together, one of them would have to give up their dream, and a sacrifice like that would soon cause regrets and recriminations.
Joe Brennan was a bush pilot in Alaska and Perrie Kincaid was a reporter in Seattle. Nothing they could do or say would change that fact. For them, love had been impossible from the beginning.
Perrie curled up on her side and stared at the bedside clock, counting the seconds for each minute that passed. Her eyes slowly closed, and soon she found herself floating between conscious thought and sleep.
Images of Joe drifted through her mind, but she didn't try to push them aside. She could almost feel his lips trace a path from her cheek to her mouth. She imagined the two of them at her door, imagined a different end to their time together. Her breath felt warm against
his cheek and she listened, trying to make out the words she spoke. She pinched her eyes shut and focused her thoughts. And then, she heard herself.
I want you. I need you. I love you.
"I want you," Perrie murmured, opening her eyes. "I need you." She pushed up from the bed. "And I love you."
A force more powerful than all her resolve pulled her toward the door. She opened it and stepped out into the hall, her gaze fixed on the room across from hers. Perrie reached out and touched the smooth wood, then, closing her eyes, she rapped hard.
The door swung open and he stood there, bare-chested, the light from his room gleaming off his smooth skin. "Perrie? Are you all right?"
"I-I want you," she murmured. "I need you. I-I-"
She tried to retreat but her feet were frozen to the floor. When she couldn't move, she closed her eyes instead, hoping that this was all part of her dream and would disappear in time. But then she felt his mouth on hers, the warmth of his lips, and she knew that she'd stumbled into something real.
He buried his face in the curve of her neck, and bent down, scooping her into his arms. This felt so right, so perfect, and no matter how Perrie tried, she couldn't make herself regret her decision. She and Joe belonged together, at least for this one night.
Joe kicked the door shut and leaned back against it. "I wanted you to come. I hoped you would." His mouth found hers again and he held her, enraptured, in a soul-shattering kiss.
He crossed the room, then gently placed her back on her feet. He gazed down into her eyes and she saw the desire there, dark and dangerous. If she touched him now, there would be nothing to stop them. And she didn't want to stop.
Slowly, she reached out and placed her palm on his chest. His heart beat strong beneath her fingers, quickening slightly as her hand drifted down to the waist-band of his jeans, to the smooth ripple of his flat belly and then no further.
"Touch me," he said, his fingers furrowing through the hair at her nape.
She could hear the need in his voice, the urgency, and in that moment, she realized the power she had over him. He could no more resist than she could. They were both lost to this passion that raged between them. And whether it was born of love or lust, it didn't make any difference-it had to be satisfied.
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