Souled: Bid on Love: Bachelor #1

by Shandwick, K. L.

  “Since when did you care what other people think?”

  “Since it involves someone I care about, Charlie.”

  As my words sunk in, I saw her face soften as her eyes searched my face, absorbing my reluctance to take advantage of her.

  “McKenna, I want this. I know you’re leaving. I know this is a ‘now’ situation and not the start of something between us. Our lives are so different and to be honest I’m perfectly happy with mine. Trust me, you won’t hurt me if we do this.”

  Staring back at her, I could see she spoke the truth and that the hang up existing between us was down to me. There was no question in my mind, I wanted Charlotte more than I’d wanted anyone in a long, long time. It was our history that had stopped me short.

  “Not here. Not like this.” The sound of my voice was low and decisive, there was no way I’d take her like that. No matter what she said or how much I wanted her. I knew if I was going to fuck Charlotte it wasn’t going to be a quick ten minutes in full view of other people.

  * * *

  Don’t ask me how, but less than an hour later we finished the shoot without me taking her. This was no thanks to Charlotte, who made a grab for my cock several times. Even though we hadn’t done the deed, the sheet and cover we’d been rolling in reeked of the smell of arousal.

  I was thankful for the assistant who brought our robes back to us as by the time I climbed off the bed my dick ached like fuck and if I had glanced at Charlotte wearing only the slightest piece of material over her pussy, I could not have been held responsible for my actions.

  Finally, I stood in a trance beside Ken and Brennen as they viewed over the final takes. Even though some editing was necessary, I could see Charlotte’s appearance would give sales a boost. She looked incredibly sultry and seductive under the fur.

  Ken had captured the intensive exchange between us that made our chemistry leap from the screen. The deep carnal attraction we had for each other leapt out of the screen and I was desperate to get Charlotte alone. I ran my hand through my hair to stop me from touching Charlotte and pulling her soft body against me.

  “Jesus, that was voyeuristic, you guys. I thought for sure you were gonna lose it and fuck her, McKenna. Kudos, that was an amazing piece of acting from y’all. Who was acting? “If you ever want a change of career, I’m sure you could make a lot of money doing this,” she told Charlotte.

  Envy grew inside at Lorraine’s comment because the last thing I would have wanted was for Charlotte to behave with someone else like she had with me in the bed. My manager didn’t give compliments freely, so when I saw her standing with her arms folded and a huge grin on her face, I knew what we’d recorded was golden.

  Charlotte glanced at Eliza with a smug look on her face. She didn’t even blush at Lorraine’s remark.

  “No fucking. We’re just two people who trust each other and are comfortable in their own skins,” I said waving off her comment as I held Charlotte’s robe up. Once she had slipped her arms inside, I wrapped it around her from behind, pulling her closer and inhaling her sweet fragrance one more time before I let her go.

  Turning in my direction, she tied the toweling belt, and glanced seductively into my eyes. The way she moved had me hard. With such a simple task she had me fixated on her hands, on the way her fingers gently knotted the loops, on how she flicked her long silky hair free from inside the collar, and finally on the intense look of adoration she gave me. The weight of her heated gaze almost floored me, and I didn’t miss the plea loaded in her lust-filled eyes.

  “If you’ve got everything you need, we’ll be on our way. We’re flying back to Norfolk this evening, and I’d like to spend a little time with my date without an audience if it's all the same to you.

  Even watching Charlotte wander ahead of me as she padded toward the changing room in her bare feet had me hooked. Her tiny toes, and slim ankles—one with a gold chain attached—had me fixated. I hadn’t noticed it on her before. Every time I looked at her I saw something new.

  The magnetic pull I had toward her was a force I couldn’t explain, and I’d never tried harder in my life to ignore an attraction to someone as I had with her. The little girl I had known was long gone and in her place was the sexiest, amazing, enigmatic, and elegantly confident woman, whom I was certain would rock my world if I submitted to my desires.

  It dawned on me that this suspicion was the main reason I had fought against our chemistry from the start.

  “Get dressed. I’m getting you the fuck out of here before I make a public show of us,” I said in a gruff tone. My jaw was tight as every muscle in my body locked in defense of the urge to take her right then.

  Leaving her alone, I wandered into the bathroom and hastily pulled on my jeans, t-shirt, and sweater, then headed back to check on Charlotte to see if she was done. An involuntary growl tore from my lips when I had entered just in time to see her sweep the rough material of her jeans up over the bare globes of her perfectly peachy ass. My cock almost broke in response and a low growl of frustration fell out of my mouth.

  Charlotte turned and gave me a secret smile, one that let me know she knew the effect she’d had on me during the take. Turning toward me, she zipped up her flies as she slipped her feet into her knee- high boots. Even watching her zip those into place felt erotic.

  I was a mess. A horny mess, and I knew I was broken in my attempt not to give in to her.

  Chapter Eight

  With the video in the bag, I led Charlotte from the cabin and down to the car with so much haste she was practically running by the time we reached the car.

  “Whoa, what’s the rush?”

  “You, you’re the rush,” I said with enough growl from the testosterone flying around my body to make The Hulk look less than impressive. “What was all that in there? You were goading me, Charlie.” I informed her, as I stuck the shift in reverse and spun us backward, skidding slightly in the snow.

  Moving the stick forward into drive, we sped off down the driveway and out into the open road leading back to the privacy of my place.

  “Yeah, and you wanted me. Admit it.”

  I glanced at her a moment too long then snapped my head back in the direction we were travelling in. “Wanted you? Fuck.” I said, not trusting myself to say more.

  “Yeah, I saw it. Us hot-blooded women know these things.”

  “A hot-blooded woman? Honey, you have no idea of the effect you have on me. My dick has been straining to fuck all weekend long. Every single little thing about you has screwed with my mind since you got into my car back home.”

  “Hmm,” she hummed through closed lips, but the tone was laced with sarcasm.

  “You don’t believe me? Let me tell you how this has felt from my end of this date. Everything from your sexy little voice, the way you move, the innocent way you pad across my hardwood floor in your bare feet, to what you’re dressed in, has gotten to me.”

  “Yeah, okay,” she replied with a degree of incredibility.

  “Jesus, even from the way you eat something as simple as toast and eggs… and don’t get me started on how you smell. You have no idea how hard it was for me to lie with my arms wrapped around you, listening to those tiny, vulnerable yet contented whimpering noises you make in your sleep.”

  “If you really felt all that, why haven’t you made a move?” She just didn’t get it at all. It was out of respect.

  “Baby, you have no idea of the internal fight that’s gone on between my head, my dick, the raging hormones, and my conscience. Yeah, and you know what? Those scenes we shot back there, that wasn’t acting. Not on my part anyway, I’ve never wanted to nail a broad to the bed as much in my life as I wanted to take you during that shoot. But...” I hesitated and thought for a second. “You are worth more than me sticking it to you. That’s how I treat most women. You, Charlie, are not most women.”

  A stony silence fell between us and I glanced sideward to see her staring up at the mountains out of the window. She was blin
king fast, and I realized she was fighting back tears. Fuck.

  Pretending not to notice her distress, I drove all the way back feeling like shit because I’d hurt her feelings. Arriving at the cabin I knew I only had a few hours to turn things around.

  “I’m sorry if I haven’t lived up to your expectations this weekend,” I stated as I took her hand and led her out of the car.

  Charlotte cocked her head to the side in thought as she swallowed down the lump in her throat. “You have… no, this weekend has been more than I expected. Thank you for the most incredible date. When I made that bid, my expectations were very different.”

  “They were?” I teased thinking back on all the craziness that had happened in the previous seventy-two hours or so, and I wondered if she’d have done it again knowing how the date had turned out.

  “I mean come on, McKenna. Not only did you make me speechless when you didn’t fuck me the first chance you got, I was literally swept off my feet… granted I was buried, but it was definitely a once-in-a-lifetime experience,” she added, chuckling her way through her explanation as we climbed the steps to the cabin.

  “You’re dwelling on the mundane, baby. What about the breakfast I cooked you?”

  “And the way you snuggled into me in your bed,” she added with the slightest hint of seduction in her voice. “Not to mention the very public make-out session that everyone is going to see back home when the video is released.”

  My key was poised to open the door but her comment made me stop, turn to face her and stare into her eyes. Time appeared to pause while I gathered my thoughts about her. “You really are something special, Charlie, you know that?” I’d never said a truer word.

  “And you’re not the dick I thought you were since you’d left town,” she replied.

  I snickered and bent my head to her ear, “And you’re certainly not the innocent kid I remember from way back when,” I replied in a whisper. A small shiver made her body shake slightly before she recovered.

  “You see, McKenna, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you since we got here. And to think I could have fucked you out of my system if you hadn’t been trying to play the nice guy.”

  I opened the door and stepped back to let her walk inside. Following her I closed the door and asked, “Who said I was playing?” I stared at her with intent. Her eyes ticked over my face for a few beats then she reached and brushed her gloved hand across my forehead, moving my windswept hair out of my face, “For the record, I willed you to make your move and at times I felt so frigging frustrated when you didn’t.” I truly didn’t want to hurt her.

  I shrugged. “You know I’ll be leaving in another week, Charlotte. My life isn’t my own for the best part of the year. I’m married to the band for now and this is a young man’s game… unless I’m one of the Rolling Stones, and the last time I looked the only vacancy I saw in their future was if one of them died.”

  Charlotte nodded, looking thoughtful again before she walked over to the sofa. She shrugged in resignation and sat down. “I’ve been thinking about what you said… about my comment and how it hurt you. Maybe I said it all wrong, but I was serious when I said I didn’t have designs on you.”

  “Hmm,” I hummed as I sat down beside her and waited for her to say what was on her mind.

  “Once I thought I had a future. That was almost eighteen months ago. Honestly, I was all set, engaged to my handsome prince,” her voice became low and serious. “Five weeks before we were due to marry he was blown up by an IED in Afghanistan.”

  Hearing her dreadful disclosure sent a jolt of electricity shot through me when she told me. It left a heavy weight circling my heart. The memory she spoke of changed her whole face from the bright-eyed, smiling beauty she was, as a harrowed expression cast over her face.

  “Jesus, Charlotte, I never knew. No one told me about that.”

  “Why would they. No one knew we knew each other. Shrugging her shoulders again, her face softened sadly in resignation, “It happened, and at the time I was devastated. I thought I’d never recover. My Aunt Phyliss wouldn’t let me sink without a fight and persuaded me to have intensive grief therapy. The loss I felt made me feel there was no point to life, but as I worked through my feelings, I became resigned to the fact life goes on… it’s just different.”

  “Fuck,” I ground out in anger and instinctively pulled her close to my side, “Oh, God, baby, I’m sorry that happened to you.” A fierce feeling washed over me. I wanted to protect her from any more hurt.

  “Ever since I was nine, I’ve dealt with love and loss and since then I’ve learned, I can’t change the past… or dwell in it, but you see, McKenna life goes on, and I’m living proof of that. As for my expectations of a forever kind of love? I have none.”

  Staring me down, she shook her head with a stoic expression on her beautiful face. It gave her a hard look I wouldn’t have believed her capable of.

  “What? Did you assume I’d have this date with you and think we’d go riding off into the sunset? Nuh-huh. I may have bought time with you, but I had already been souled… as in my soulmate… and he died. He was my ‘one and only’. I’ll never love like that again.”

  “I hope you do,” I replied quickly because if she were to be alone for the rest of her life that would be a travesty.

  “No. I know I won’t. Nothing or no one will ever replace what Niall and I had. That doesn’t mean I won’t ever marry or have kids, but my life will never be the same. I can’t imagine ever meeting another guy like him. When I came on this date with you, I had a different expectation altogether.”

  “What did you expect?”

  “If I’m honest? A weekend of wild sex.”

  “Damn, do you really think that little of me?”

  “You’re a rock star, McKenna; you’re in the papers for being famous for it.”

  “Famous for fucking women, you mean? No, Charlotte, I’m in the papers because I’m newsworthy as a musician in the public eye. You shouldn’t believe everything you read. Just because a girl is on my arm in some new magazine doesn’t automatically mean I’ve been inside her.”

  Charlotte snickered and shifted uncomfortably at my choice of words, and I saw her breath hitch before she spoke. “Look I feel this magnetism, this… connection between us, and it's not some warped thing attached to me being a kid from your past. What’s going on here and now isn’t love, its infatuation, fantasy and lust… and from how you look at me I know you feel the same.”

  “Yeah, I’d be a liar if I said otherwise, but I feel other things too, Charlotte. I feel like I want to protect you from bad things… from being hurt.”

  “Then you’re a year and a half too late for that, but you’re hurting me by not being yourself, by not doing what your instincts tell you to do.”

  We sat staring into one another’s eyes as her words sank in and I couldn’t help thinking it was the most honest, grown up conversation I’d ever had with anyone in my life. For the previous few days I had tried to honor what she was to me in the past and she’d seen through my true feelings. Of course, I wanted her, I’d wanted nothing else the whole weekend.

  Clearing my throat, I broke eye contact and walked to the front door when I heard the engine tinkering outside and saw Gregory arrive to drive us back to the plane.

  “You think we can have one last night here and fly back first thing tomorrow?” I asked her over my shoulder, totally giving in to my urges after the conversation we’d just had. I wasn’t ready to leave and I didn’t want our date to end without resolving the feelings that had been endlessly swirling around inside my head when I looked at her. Truth was, I wanted to know more of her… all of her.

  "Finally,” she said with a note of exasperation and threw her hands up in the air.

  Informing Gregory of our plans I closed the door and went back to join her on the sofa.

  Dipping my head lower, our lips merely inches apart, I let my eyes search hers for a few seconds. Eventually I droppe
d a small kiss to her lips when my resistance finally ebbed away. Charlotte met the kiss and pressed her lips closer to mine.

  When she responded with her warm kiss, I absorbed the tenderness of it. Next her unhurried way her tongue entered my mouth and sought mine and it felt almost reverent. Breaking the kiss, Charlotte stood and stepped back as she began to peel her clothes away.

  We were still in our outdoor gear and without another word Charlotte stripped away her coat and knee-high boots, then her woolen sweater and her jeans. Every now and then her eyes darting to mine to see my reaction.

  Seeing she had my full attention she turned away from me, giving me the most sensational view of her from behind in her lingerie.

  Scooping her hair up with her arms bent up at her head she shifted from one foot to the other accentuating her gorgeously defined legs and ass. The curve of her spine was clearly defined, and I stood up to watch her more carefully, holding my breath until she finally turned to face me again.

  “Fuck,” I muttered, my mouth suddenly dry, but my blood flowing like molten lava in my veins at the sight of her. I’d never seen anyone as provocatively appealing.

  When she ordered me, “Your turn,” in her low sensual tone I was done.

  With less finesse and a lot more speed, I was naked in no time. As soon as I’d stripped I reached out for her elbows and lifted her up onto my body. Wrapping her legs firmly around me, I spun her around and sandwiched her up against the wall near the hallway.

  Hands slid over skin as our lips explored and tasted each other. When I buried my face in her neck to inhale her intoxicating scent, she licked the shell of my ear, sending an electrified shudder right through me. Biting her neck in return, she shook in anticipation as I pushed up her bra as my mouth migrated to her full, soft breast. I sucked the tempting pebbled nipple into my mouth and a soft erotic whimper tore up from her throat. With every second I held her it became increasingly hard for me to think of anything else except what to do to her next.