by Willow Rose
Today, playing esports had become highly competitive. The prizes were bigger too. The last tournament Susan had entered, the winner took home fifteen million dollars, whereas it was only one million ten years ago. The competition from the sixteen-year-olds was fierce too. Today, Susan was sponsored by Red Bull, Nike, and Honda, who paid her millions every year. She had seventeen million subscribers to her channels, and she was still quite good at what she did. She just didn’t enjoy it anymore.
But was she ready to retire…to turn her back on this world and all its money? To no longer be adored by fans all over the world?
“What is it they say about gamers?” she said and leaned on her husband’s shoulder. “Get big, burn out, retire young.”
He chuckled and caressed her stomach. “I know you were a big star, sweetie, and you always will be in my eyes and the eyes of our little princess, but it’s time to call it quits while you still can. You can’t sit through tournaments that take ten to fifteen hours anymore. The life of a pro-gamer requires discipline and perseverance like no other job. There’s no room for failure; your fans won’t forgive you if you’re not up to the game, and you only make real money if you’re the very best. It requires intense focus and demands quick reactions, much like athletic sports, which young minds and bodies are most capable of sustaining. It’s not suited for an almost thirty-year-old woman who’s having a baby. You always knew it was an all-in, all-out kind of affair.”
Knowing he was right and that the decision was made, Susan nodded and kissed his cheek, feeling sad yet relieved.
“I’ll just do this one last tournament this Friday, and then I’ll retire, okay?”
Chapter 40
Nathan looked over his shoulder as he rushed out of school, down the stairs, and toward the bus stop. He liked to be the first one there and the first one to get on the bus. Plus, the day hadn’t been very good at school. He had been bullied at lunch again by Travis and Dexter. It was a long story that ended with his lunch on the ground of the cafeteria and him starving the rest of the day.
Nathan also had another reason for being in a hurry. Today was the day his grandmother would come over after school, and she had promised to bring him a new baseball glove, the one he had wanted for so long. Nathan didn’t know why he was getting it now since it wasn’t his birthday, and he hadn’t gotten straight As or anything, but he assumed his grandmother was just trying to be nice.
The bus arrived, and they all got on. A kid pushed him, and he almost fell on the way up the stairs, while someone else gave him an elbow in the side and almost made him yell out in pain. But Nathan managed to get into his seat on the bus and placed his backpack by his feet. With butterflies in his stomach, he waited patiently for the bus to finally take off.
He sat alone, as usual, on the bus, but he didn’t mind. He’d rather sit alone than be assigned to sit with someone who clearly didn’t want to sit next to him like in school. He hated those looks he always got from his classmates when they were forced to sit next to him.
“Come on; come on,” he mumbled impatiently while his legs bounced up and down. The bus stopped, and two kids left. There was only one more stop until he was getting off. Nathan had been dreaming about getting this glove for two years, at least. He was going to play with it all afternoon, and he would most definitely sleep with it tonight.
Maybe his dad could throw a few balls?
His dad had been out of work for a few weeks now and didn’t have much else to do, as far as Nathan knew. He could definitely do it. If only he could be in a better mood than he had been in the past couple of days.
The bus approached his stop, and Nathan rose to his feet, backpack in hand. He walked out of the bus, three other kids coming out with him. He put his backpack on his back, then began the walk toward his house, waving at the bus driver on the way as he always did. No one liked Ms. Pat much, but he did. She was always nice to him and only yelled at all the other kids.
“See you tomorrow,” he yelled as the bus took off and disappeared. Meanwhile, Nathan sped up when a car drove up on his side and a window was rolled down. An African American woman looked out at him, then stopped the car next to him. Puzzled at this, Nathan stopped walking and stared at her.
“Hey, kid,” she said. “You Nathan Downey?”
The boy nodded. “Y-yes.”
The woman opened the door of the car and got out. With her came two girls, whom Nathan recognized from his school. They were a few years older than him. The way they looked at him frightened him. Nathan backed up.
“I…I…”
The mother was the first one to act. She reached over and grabbed him in her strong arms and held him down. Then she yelled at her two daughters, and they came running, and soon punches were thrown at him from all sides. Nathan tried to scream and get loose, but the mother held him down, using her weight to press him into the pavement while the girls punched him again and again, harder and harder each time. A kid who was walking by pulled out her phone and began filming it. That made the mother let go of Nathan, and he stumbled to his feet, blood running from his nose and ear. As he tried to rise to his feet, one of the girls took another swing at him, punching him so hard he fell headfirst into the lamppost next to him.
Chapter 41
“Argh!”
I threw my stapler across the room in anger. It knocked against the wall and fell to the floor. Matt came rushing into my room, looking confused.
“What are you doing in here?”
“I can’t figure it out, Matt,” I said, feeling tears well up in my eyes. I had been at it all afternoon and gotten nowhere. I had been looking through all of the gamers that FaZeYourFeaRs had teamed up with in the past twenty-four hours, but the list felt endless. And they were all so alike; there was no way of telling who his next victim would be. I had tried to cross-reference them and find similarities with his earlier victims, but all of them seemed to have the same differences and similarities. There was nothing that stood out to me, and time was passing. For every hour that went by, we were getting closer to this killer striking again.
It was unbearable.
Matt grabbed me in his arms and held me close. “It’s okay, Eva Rae. You’re doing what you can.”
“But it’s not enough, Matt. It’s not good enough. Look at what happened to poor Jamal’s mother, Mrs. Robinson. Look at what happened to Amal Bukhari. I knew they were his next victims, but it didn’t matter.”
Matt sighed and held me close. “You can’t do any more than what you do, Eva Rae. You’re wearing yourself out on this case. You can’t be so hard on yourself. How about you come downstairs and watch some TV or we could play cards? Or what about you and I go out for dinner tonight, huh? Your mother will be home and can watch the kids for a few hours. Let me take you out for once. Just you and me.”
“It’s sweet, Matt, but I can’t. I would never be able to relax anyway.”
Matt gave me a disappointed look and let go of me.
“You’re sad,” I said.
“Yeah, well, can you blame me? We never do anything together, just the two of us anymore. Meanwhile, you’re constantly running around somewhere hanging out with that Liam guy, eating dinners with him, and having drinks. Why can’t you do that with me? Why is he more important?”
I gave him a look. “You’re kidding me, right? Tell me you’re kidding right now because I really hope you are.”
“No. I’m very serious. I can’t believe you won’t go out to dinner with me, but you can race across the country to meet up with him…sleeping in hotels and eating expensive dinners.”
I shook my head. “This isn’t happening. Tell me it isn’t happening.”
“Well, it is. I’m tired of having to beg you to hang out with me, Eva Rae. I moved in so we could spend more time together, but so far, you haven’t given me anything.”
“So, what? You moved in for my sake?” I asked.
“No. I moved in for us. But so far, you’re not in it at all.”
“Well, excuse me if I’m trying to save lives here, Matt. Silly me; I thought you might think that was important, being a detective and all.”
“That was low. You know, I take you very seriously. And I am the only one who is. But the fact is, you’re always trying to save someone, Eva Rae. Even though you know just as well as I do that you can’t save everyone.”
“Well, I will still try,” I said. “I can’t just sit still when I know someone is about to be killed. I thought you’d understand this.”
“You’re running,” he said.
“I’m what?”
“All this. It’s a cover for the fact that you can’t stand being here. You’re running. You’re running away from me constantly and from the grief.”
“What are we talking about now, Matt?”
“You haven’t cried. Not even once since Chad died.”
I exhaled and rubbed my forehead. “Not that again.”
“I’m serious, Eva Rae. You haven’t shed a single tear since he was shot. At the funeral, you were like an ice sculpture.”
“Wow, what a picture. You’re a true poet, Matt.”
“What’s going on with you? Why are you constantly running away from me?” he asked.
“I’m not,” I said, avoiding looking at him. “I’m just…busy. People are dying here, Matt.
I can’t just let this guy get away with it. No one sees it.”
“No, it’s more than that, Eva Rae. Is it that guy?”
“Liam?”
“Yes, is something going on with you two? Is that it?”
“Matt, please. No. His son was killed, and he wants to find the person who did it; that’s all. I don’t even like him. He’s a prick. But he is good to have on hand when I want to get to those celebrity gamers. When they hear he wants to see them, they want to meet. I can’t get to them by myself.”
“That means it’s me then,” he said. “If there’s nothing going on, then that means you’re running from me, not to Liam.”
He stared at me, and our eyes met briefly when I saw something change in his.
“You blame me for Chad’s death, don’t you? I’ve asked you this before, but you didn’t give me an answer. I want one now.”
I rose to my feet. “No…Matt, I…”
He shook his head, backing up. “No. I think I’m right. He took a bullet for me, and every time you look at me, you’re reminded of that. That’s why you can’t stand being with me or even in this house. That’s why you’re burying yourself in all this instead of being with the ones who love you. You feel guilty about it, about feeling this way, but you can’t help yourself.”
My shoulders slumped. I stared at Matt, speechless. There were so many things I wanted to say in this moment, so many words I could have said to calm him down, to reassure him that it wasn’t the way things were. But they never came because they wouldn’t be true.
Matt sucked in air, then nodded. “Yeah…that’s what I thought. I’m being punished for something I had no say in, but I guess that’s just life, right? It’s just that unfair.”
Matt walked to the door and opened it. I took a step toward him, wanting to stop him, but then I paused for a second too long, and he was gone.
As I sat on my bed, feeling heavy at heart, I heard him go to the boys’ room and get Elijah. I could hear them rummaging around for a few minutes, then jumped when I heard the front door slam shut. To my surprise, I didn’t cry when I heard Matt’s car start up and drive away. I didn’t shed a tear. But I did feel like someone had just ripped out a big chunk of my heart.
Chapter 42
“We need to talk.”
Chris Branson, Amal’s agent, closed the door behind him and walked to the window next to her hospital bed. Amal tried to sit up, but couldn’t. She had gone through yet another surgery the day before and felt awful. Her brother, Samir, was sitting in a chair by her bed, scrolling on his phone.
“What’s up?” she asked, strained with pain.
Her agent rubbed his forehead. “I take it you haven’t heard what happened yesterday?”
“Well, duh. I was kind of busy all day yesterday.”
“Oh, yes, the surgery,” Chris said. “I forgot for a minute.”
“I sure didn’t,” she said with an exhale. “But what is it? What happened?”
Chris shook his head and looked briefly out the window, then back at her. “It’s awful. Officer Downey’s kid was attacked by some mom and her kids. They beat him up.”
Amal grimaced. “How bad is it?”
“Bad. Real bad. He’s still in the ICU. Hit his head against a lamppost and cracked his skull open. They don’t know if he’ll ever wake up.”
“Oh, dear Lord. That is terrible.”
“I know, but there’s more.”
Amal looked at him. “I don’t like the sound of that.”
“It was all recorded by some other kids and has gone viral. The mother and the girls have been arrested, but the reporters got to them first. There was an on-camera interview with her where she says that it was all for you.”
Amal’s eyes grew wide. “For me?”
Chris nodded. “Because of what happened to you. To punish Officer Downey for shooting you.”
Amal placed a hand on her chest. “That’s awful.”
Chris shook his head and looked out at the view again. “They say it’s because of what you said on TV, on Good Morning America.”
“What?”
“You said something about taking matters into your own hands. You encouraged people to vigilantism.”
“I did no such thing,” Amal said, appalled. “I told them to come out for a protest. I never told anyone to beat up some kid. What on earth is happening?”
“I need you to be careful what you say from now on,” Branson said. “You’ve got to think about it more than once before you say stuff like that. You make all these videos from your hospital bed, and millions of people see them and sympathize with you because of what happened to you.”
Amal stared at him, surprised at this. “You’re telling me to censor myself?”
Samir looked up from his phone. His eyes met Amal’s, and he shook his head. “You can’t do that.”
“I’m not saying you should censor yourself. But you’ve got to realize what kind of power you hold right now,” Branson said. “And be cautious. That’s all. Maybe you should even hold back on your language toward the police, and if I’m being perfectly honest, I’d advise you to cancel the protest march. You’re in no condition to follow through with it, and I’m afraid it’s gonna end badly.”
Amal couldn’t believe it. Wasn’t her agent supposed to be supportive of her? She shook her head, even though the gesture sent shockwaves of pain through her body. She lifted her finger at him.
“It’s not my fault there are idiots out there who take what I say the wrong way. I am sorry, but I’m not going to stop what I’ve started. This is probably the most important thing I have ever done in my life. This is a movement involving millions of people, and if you can’t back me up in this, then you’re not the right agent for me.”
Chris Branson looked at her, then lifted his eyebrows. “Wow. I guess I’m not the right agent then. But before I leave, I want to warn you. If you follow through with this, it’s gonna end in a bloodbath, and you’ll be the one who has to live with the guilt. I hope you’re prepared to do that.”
“Oh, I’m more than prepared. Now, if you’ll please leave, I have a video to make. My viewers are worried and want to know if my surgery went well yesterday.”
Chapter 43
“Where are Matt and Elijah?”
Olivia came into the kitchen as I was eating my cereal the next morning. I had put extra sugar on it, thinking it might cheer me up, but it didn’t really help.
“They left,” Christine said, glaring at me. “Mom kicked them out.”
“I did no such thing,” I said, putting my spoon down in the milk so hard that milk splattered on the
breakfast counter.
“They left? What do you mean they left?” Olivia squealed. “Are they not coming back?”
“We don’t know,” Christine said. “Mom had some fight with Matt last night, and then he and Elijah left the house carrying their suitcases.”
“You’re kidding me, right? I go on one sleepover at a friend’s house, and when I come back, you’ve ruined everything.” Olivia grabbed a box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch forcefully. “I don’t know how you do it. You just keep pushing him out of your life. How many times do you think he’s going to take you back?”
“Why do you both assume that it was my fault?” I asked, surprised at them.
“Because it usually is your fault, Mom,” Christine said and got up from her stool. She went to the sink and poured out the leftovers, then placed her bowl in the dishwasher.
“Since when did you start cleaning up after yourself?” I asked.
“Since Matt told us to do it,” she said, then walked past me, giving me a disappointed glare.
“She was getting used to having Matt here,” Olivia said after Christine had left. “She was starting to like him. You wanna know why? Because he was around. Yes, he worked full time, but when he was home, he was here, hanging out with us. He didn’t stay in his room, avoiding having to deal with us.”
“Very subtle, Olivia,” I said and got up as well. I put my bowl in the dishwasher while my poor heart was aching.
“It’s gonna destroy Alex; you do realize that, right?” Olivia said. “He loves Matt and was so excited to share a room with Elijah. How’s he taking it so far?”
I exhaled tiredly and rubbed my forehead.
“You’ve got to be kidding me, Mom. You haven’t told him; have you?”
“Yes, I told him,” I protested. “I said they went to visit Elijah’s grandmother for a few days.”
“Why didn’t you tell him the truth?” Olivia asked.
“Because I don’t know what will happen yet,” I said. “I don’t know if they’ll come back or not, and I don’t want to break Alex’s heart for no reason.”