by Willow Rose
I just hoped it would be before he made his next move.
THREE WEEKS LATER
Chapter 59
“I’m going nuts here.”
I stared at Liam, who was standing in my doorway. I hadn’t spoken to him in a little more than three weeks when we had talked about Susan Johnson on the phone. I had sent him a text to update him on what happened to her and wrote that we had our first victory, right before bedtime on the day we saved her. He had answered that he was extremely relieved. But that was the last communication we had. It had been a busy three weeks. Christmas had come and gone, and so had New Year’s Eve. Matt and I had celebrated both apart from one another, which felt odd, but we hadn’t really spoken much since that night. It felt like we were both avoiding the issue right now. Meanwhile, I had been digging deeper into my research and trying to recreate the Swatter’s pattern when Liam rang my doorbell.
“Liam? What the heck are you doing here?”
He pushed his way past me and came inside, rubbing his already greasy hair excessively.
“I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I keep thinking that today he’s gonna do it again. Every morning, I go through the news, combing through it to see if anything matches his behavior—if anyone has been killed by the police overnight. It’s driving me crazy.”
I slammed the door shut behind me. I was still in my jammies, I suddenly realized, and crossed my arms in front of my chest. School was back in session after winter break, so the kids were all gone, and I hadn’t planned on seeing a single soul all day.
“Welcome to my world,” I said. “Coffee?”
“Please.”
I walked to the kitchen and poured coffee into two cups, then handed him one. He stared into it like he wasn’t sure it wouldn’t kill him.
“It’s not been digested by Indonesian monkeys or cats or whatever the best coffee in the world is supposed to be. It’s just plain old black coffee. Nothing fancy. But it will wake you up and keep you going for a few hours till you need the next one.”
He smiled. “I’ve had coffee before.”
“Really? Doesn’t really seem like it. There’s milk in the fridge if you use that and sugar in that bowl over there. If you need Almond milk, I’m sure my mom has some in there as well.”
“I prefer it black,” he said and sipped it. He tried to look like he was enjoying it, but his eyes told a different story. I didn’t care. I poured myself a bowl of Cheerios and put milk on it, then began to eat.
Liam stared at me, his eyes still frantic, yet so incredibly sad. “I need to catch him. I need to see justice for Tim. I can’t stand the fact that this guy is still out there, and the police aren’t even looking for him.”
“I am,” I said, chewing with my mouth open. A drop of milk flew toward him and landed on his shirt. The shirt looked expensive, so I dried the droplet off with a napkin as fast as I could. Liam stared at my hand touching his chest, then at me.
His stare seemed to look straight through me, undressing me, and suddenly, I could barely breathe. I hated myself for it, but I found him so insanely attractive, it pained me. Why did I feel this way? He was pretty much the most unattractive man I had ever met. And he wasn’t even a great person. He wasn’t even nice, and he didn’t have a winning personality.
Our eyes were locked for a long time until I finally gathered myself. I cleared my throat, then moved away and continued to eat my Cheerios.
“I want to be more involved,” he said. “I need to do more.”
I turned around and wiped milk away from my lips with my hand. “Involved?”
“With the investigation or whatever you call it. I need to do something. I can’t stand the fact that this guy who is responsible for the death of my boy is still out there. I can’t focus on my work. I keep walking into his room, expecting him to be in there sitting by his computer, rolling his eyes at me, or even saying something nasty because he hates me. He used to hate me, Eva Rae. But at least he was there. At least he was still alive. I need to get rid of this guilt I’m harboring inside. I need to pass it on to someone else before it eats me up.”
I swallowed another bite, then put the bowl down. Liam looked like he would break into pieces. I grabbed him by the shoulder and helped him to sit down. I took the coffee cup from between his hands and placed it on the kitchen table. He looked up at me.
“I’m falling apart, aren’t I?”
I exhaled and took his hands in mine. “No one would blame you if you did.”
Chapter 60
THEN:
DeVilSQuaD666: Yo answer me this.
SlayerAlpha32: What do you want?
DeVilSQuaD666: Did the cops show up at your house last night? Yes or no.
SlayerAlpha32: No
DeVilSQuaD666: I don’t believe you
SlayerAlpha32: So? See if I care.
DeVilSQuaD666: I know for a fact that you’re lying.
SlayerAlpha32: Oh? How?
DeVilSQuaD666: Come on. You can’t hide it. Be honest. Did anyone show up at your house last night?
SlayerAlpha32: Nope.
DeVilSQuaD666: Be honest with me. I know they were there. Admit your defeat. Did they flashbang you or not?
SlayerAlpha32: You’re literally retarded.
DeVilSQuaD666: I know they were there. Why won’t you admit it? I know there was a call.
SlayerAlpha32: And how do you know that?
DeVilSQuaD666: I just do. Don’t ask me how.
SlayerAlpha32: Did the call say that someone shot his dad?
DeVilSQuaD666: Yes
SlayerAlpha32: Yeah, I heard about that. Police did show up.
DeVilSQuaD666: I knew it!
SlayerAlpha32: They showed up at my old address.
DeVilSQuaD666: What?
SlayerAlpha32: We don’t live there anymore Bahahaha. You wasted your time, and now you’re pissed.
DeVilSQuaD666: I don’t get it.
SlayerAlpha32: You got trolled. You thought you were coming for me, but you sent them to the wrong house, you idiot.
DeVilSQuaD666: I don’t believe you.
SlayerAlpha32: Really? Watch the news.
DeVilSQuaD666: What do you mean?
SlayerAlpha32: Your prank days are over. The police will be coming for you soon. It’s over, bro.
DeVilSQuaD666: You’re bluffing.
SlayerAlpha32: Am I tho?
DeVilSQuaD666: I think you are
SlayerAlpha32: As I said. Watch the news.
DeVilSQuaD666: Why?
SlayerAlpha32: You’ll see why. But I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes right now. Just sayin’.
Chapter 61
“Amal, are you absolutely sure you want to go through with this?”
Samir held Amal’s hand in his. He had that concerned look in his eyes that she had grown to despise. It was nice of him to worry; it was more than you could say for her parents, who hadn’t even called or sent a card while she was in the hospital fighting for her life. She wasn’t surprised at that, though. They had turned their backs on her when she decided to become a gamer and not succumb to the family’s ways. They had their pride, and even if she were on her deathbed, they wouldn’t speak to her. She knew that much. It was the price she had to pay for her freedom. But at least she had Samir. Samir was kind and gentle, and her younger brother would go through fire for her. She knew he would.
“I’m sure,” she said and winced in pain as he helped her sit up so she could eat. He sat on her bed and started to feed her since she was still in too much pain to be able to lift the spoon on her own.
“The protest is in three days, Amal,” he continued while she fought to swallow the soup. She had been eating mostly through a tube while she’d been recuperating, but they wanted her to start slowly to eat on her own. It was going to take some time. “Are you sure your body is up for that kind of stress?”
She nodded. “Yes, Samir. I’m sure. This is an important matter. Not just for me or you, but for everyone
of color. We have been suppressed long enough. We’ve been killed in the streets; our brothers and sons have been shot dead just because of fear, just because of prejudice. So far, three million people have replied that they are coming on my Facebook event page. That shows how important this is, and how much people need this, need me.”
“I could take care of it,” he said. “You could tell me what to say, and I’d read it to them to encourage them. Or you could make a video. Their march can go on. It doesn’t need you in front.”
Amal scoffed and touched his cheek gently. “My sweet brother. I know you’re only trying to protect me, but I think that you also know deep down inside that I need to do this, even if it means me losing my life doing it. They shot me, Samir. The police were so frightened of me, a young woman armed with nothing but a camera. I’ve become a symbol of the fight. They are writing to me from all over. All the big organizations see me as an important front figure, and you need to let me be just that.”
Samir nodded, slumping his shoulders. “I’m just so scared that something might happen to you. There are a lot of agitated people out there. As I was coming in this morning, I had to walk through a crowd of protestors who were shouting white supremacist slogans at me. They were wearing swastikas on their arms, for crying out loud. They see you as a threat. They’re demanding justice for the officer’s son, who was attacked. It’s like it never ends. Won’t this march just make matters worse? What if they try to kill you? Or what if you die because of the stress and exhaustion on your fragile and broken body? The doctors say it’s too much for you. I don’t want to lose you, Amal. When I thought you had died on that plane when they called…I…I can’t go through that again.”
Amal reached her hand up and placed it on Samir’s arm. Eating had left her in pain, and she didn’t want any more soup.
“If I die, at least I would have died for something. I think there’s a reason I survived being shot on that plane. I have a purpose, and that makes it worth it. That makes it remotely bearable. Look at me. My body is completely destroyed. I’ll never get to live a normal life again. I’m missing several of my internal organs. There’s no chance I’ll live very long, even if I ever make it out of this hospital. This march makes it worth it. This gives me a reason to live, to keep fighting. Doing this march makes going through the pain worth it. I truly believe going through with this march can change the world. Let me have it; will you? Let me do this.”
Samir stifled a few tears, then nodded and kissed Amal’s hand. “Okay. But now you must rest. You’re gonna need all your strength. Just the traveling alone will be devastating to your body.”
Chapter 62
The Swatter was eerily quiet in those days, and it was about to drive me crazy. I was terrified that he was planning something big. Liam went back to Philadelphia for a few days, but then came back and was now staying at the Hilton in Cocoa Beach, trying to stay close to me and the investigation. He was doing his share to help me out, combing through news stories about police activity, domestic disturbance calls, and so on. Meanwhile, my dad was keeping an eye out for the gamer named FaZeYourFeaRs, trying to track him down while keeping an eye out for him in Call of Duty. But he hadn’t shown up in a very long time, and that had me worried. Not that I wanted him to because it would mean he had found his next victim, but I was concerned that he might change his pattern, that he’d start playing another game with his future victims, or that he would play with tens of different players like last time and I’d miss out, not being able to find the right one in time. His silence confirmed my suspicion that he knew I was onto him. His defeat in Fellsmere had to be nagging him, and it was forcing him to change his ways. I just wished I could figure out his next move.
It all came down to why he was doing it. I still hadn’t figured that part out, and that gave him a head start. I didn’t know him well enough to be able to find him. I knew bits and pieces, like the fact that all his victims were declared atheists, which had to play a big part in why he chose them. Also, the fact that most of them were people of color played a part. The chance of it going wrong was bigger, obviously, because of the fear and racial bias, but there was more to it than that, in my opinion. I knew that he was a gamer himself, so I had him picked for being young, less than thirty at least, but probably even younger.
Was he white? A supremacist?
I had written the word on a yellow post-it note and placed it in the middle of my collage on the wall. I had asked my dad to seek out those forums online where white supremacists met and had him snoop around to see if anyone knew anything about this guy. But it was a jungle.
What did he get out of doing what he did to these people? What was the purpose? To induce fear? Did he have quarrels with them? Did he do it to punish them? Was it just for the adrenaline rush, not knowing if this person would make it through this alive? Did he watch it from his computer while getting a kick out of it? Was it a power rush? The idea that he could sit somewhere far away and destroy someone’s life in a matter of seconds with only a simple phone call? Was that why?
But he was there, Eva Rae. He was at Susan Johnson’s house. He can’t be that far away. He could be really close.
I stared at the map on the end wall of my bedroom. I had drawn a big red X on each of the towns where he had struck. The first one, Peter James, was in New Orleans, Louisiana, while the second was all the way in Indiana. There was one in Kentucky, two in Pennsylvania, one in California, Iowa, Alabama, New Jersey, South Dakota, and even one in Portland, Oregon. The latest attempt was in Florida. Jamal’s mother had been killed in Canada of all places. This guy could strike anywhere.
It frustrated me more than anything. I wanted to catch this guy, especially for Liam’s sake. He was a mess, and I had to admit that I, too, felt guilty because of what had happened to his son. I had known he was the next victim, yet I let Liam go that day when I confronted him about it. I could have done more. I could have run after him. I could have grabbed his arm and stopped him. I could have insisted more.
The door to my bedroom opened, and Alex came in wearing his police uniform and the fake badge that Matt had given him to wear on Halloween. He always put on this outfit as soon as he came home from school. Alex wanted to be in law enforcement, just like Matt more than anything in this world.
“Hi, sweetie,” I said and smiled.
Alex came closer. He looked angry and crossed his arms in front of his chest. I reached out to take him in my arms, but he stepped back so I couldn’t reach him. He spoke with great determination:
“When are Matt and Elijah coming home?”
I exhaled and felt a pinch in my heart. “Oh, buddy.”
“They’re not coming home, are they?”
“They’re staying at his mom’s house for a little while,” I said. “She misses them, so they’ll be there for a little while before they come back here.”
Alex shook his head. “Nope. That’s not what I heard.”
I looked at him, surprised. “What did you hear?”
“Olivia told me that they moved out.” Alex’s voice grew shrill. “Is it true, Mommy? Did they move away from us?”
I closed my eyes briefly, then looked at him and nodded. “For now, yes. But I don’t know if they’re coming back, honey. That’s the truth. It all went a little too fast and well… we both needed time to think.”
“That’s not what I heard either,” Alex said.
“Oh, really?”
“Yup. I heard you drove Matt out. That you didn’t want him here, but I wanna know why. Why, Mommy? He’s really nice, and so is Elijah. Why don’t you want them here with us?”
I stared at my son, unable to say anything. I searched for something clever—for something to soothe the pain that I could detect in his eyes. But I couldn’t find it…simply because I didn’t know why. I loved Matt; I truly did. I had always loved him; I had loved him my entire life.
But was I in love with him? Did I want to live with him?
I wasn’t s
ure.
My silence made Alex even angrier. His small nostrils were flaring, and I saw tears shaping in his eyes. I hadn’t seen that since his dad’s funeral.
“You’re just a meanie,” he yelled.
“Alex, I…”
But the boy wouldn’t hear anymore. He turned around and stormed out of my bedroom, tears rolling down his cheeks, yelling:
“I hate you!”
The sound of his harsh words hit me hard. I felt awful. I couldn’t blame him for being angry, though. He was so fond of Matt and, of course, he needed a male role model in his life, especially when living in a house of only females. With his father gone, he had hoped Matt could be that figure in his life, one that he could look up to, that he could mirror.
I had hoped so too. I just wasn’t sure it was enough.
Chapter 63
“He showed up last night.”
I had barely opened my eyes. I looked at my watch. It was seven-thirty. We had overslept. Again.
“I’m sorry if I woke you up,” my dad said on the other end. I blinked to try and get back to reality. I had been up most of the night, following what I believed was another swatting case, but had turned out not to be. I hadn’t fallen asleep until five o’clock.
“No. No, it’s good that you did. I have to get the kids to school.”
I jumped to my feet and found my jean shorts, still while clutching the phone between my jaw and shoulder. “What happened?”
“FaZeYourFeaRs entered the game last night. He played for about two hours with two different players.”
I fastened my pants and grabbed the phone in my hand. “Only two?”
“Yes. I have them both here and will find their names and addresses as soon as possible.”
“That’s perfect,” I said.
I hung up and ran into Olivia’s room, then woke her up before I continued into Christine’s and finally Alex’s room. He had fallen asleep still wearing his police uniform that Matt had given him. The hat had slid off and was lying on the carpet below.