She began to cry.
“It’s never a good sign when your woman cries in the middle of sex. What’s wrong? Do you want me to stop?”
Hugging him to her, Sky wrapped her legs around his waist. “Don’t stop. I need you to make love to me.”
Despite having confessed his love weeks ago, neither Malcolm nor Sky ever referred to their sexual acts as making love. Hadn’t that been what they were doing, though? If not before Malcolm’s declaration, then surely after Sky returned from her retreat and began spending most of her nights at Malcolm’s house and sharing his bed.
He did make love to Sky, slow, sweet and erotic as sin. Malcolm had an inventive mind, and Sky was flexible. The combination had them on the floor, against the wall, on top of her kitchen island, and in a barstool chair.
By the time they finished, all movable pieces of furniture in her kitchen and living room were in a different place and the remaining condoms in her nightstand drawer used. Now, they lounged in Sky’s bed. Ironically, one of the few pieces of furniture they hadn’t made love on.
The night was still young and neither of them exhausted.
“This isn’t what I thought would happen when I came over here.” A big hand rubbed up and down Sky’s back, half her naked body on Malcolm’s. “Honestly, I didn’t think you would let me in.”
“What would you have done if I hadn’t?”
The hand on her back stilled. “Licked my wounds and gone home. It doesn’t feel good to be ignored.”
She knew the truth of that better than most. Sky kissed his stomach, then rolled out of bed to put on a nightgown. As nice as being in Malcolm’s arms felt she needed a layer of clothing if she intended to bare her soul.
Malcolm sat up in bed, sheets pooled at his waist, a pillow behind his back and against the headboard. “Is this when we talk?”
“Yes.” Sky perched on the edge of the messy bed, as nervous about telling Malcolm the truth as she’d been the day in his office. A deep inhalation then a slow exhale. “Did you mean everything you said to Angie about Sean’s former lover and the woman’s baby?”
“Oh, did I offend you when I called the woman a bitch and whore? Listen, I don’t normally say stuff like that. I mean, I have before, but I’ve never called a woman any of those words I used that day to her face.”
“It’s not that. Well, it is, but not in the way you mean. It’s just,” Sky rubbed her eyes with the heel of her hand, an image of her mother’s defiant face sparking behind her eyes, “my mother used to be called names like that. Rarely to her face, although I witnessed a few times when she was. It wasn’t pretty. I don’t think my mother ever regretted a single mistake in her life. So, when someone came at her with their hateful, judgmental words, she gave as good as she got without lowering herself to their level. Her venom didn’t need curse words, which made what she had to say more poisonous and hurtful.”
Her father received the brunt of her mother’s tongue-lashing, which he deserved probably more than Sky knew.
The loft had great acoustics and thick walls. She heard nothing but the sound of her heavy breathing and rampaging heart. Malcolm remained quiet, although his worried, tender eyes spoke the words we wouldn’t until she finished. The man may enjoy speaking, but he also listened better than anyone she knew.
“My father is Robert Joseph Ellis III?”
She waited for Malcolm to put the pieces together. The professor not only possessed a history degree, but he’d also studied Maryland politics and history as part of his research on George Bragg. She’d read his dissertation as well as two of his scholarly articles on politics in Maryland. Her father would’ve come up in his research. Not only because he’d garnered an unprecedented percentage of the African American vote but because of rumors of his affair with an African American campaign staffer.
“Your father is Governor Ellis?”
“He hasn’t been Maryland’s governor for a long time. Nowadays, he’s chairman of the United States Naval Academy Foundation. My mother worked on his second gubernatorial run. She was his campaign manager. He courted the African American vote, which my mother helped him win. Baltimore City and County, Prince George’s County, Maryland regions with significant populations of African Americans. His military background and wealthy Annapolis roots did the rest.”
“They had an affair.”
It wasn’t a question but a vocalization of the unstated but implied.
“Like Sean and his legal assistant. An older man, a younger woman, and a surprise, inconvenient pregnancy.”
“Shit, I didn’t mean…” Malcolm started for her, but Sky raised her hand to stop his progress and protest.
“You meant what you said. Do I think, if you’d known the circumstances surrounding my conception and birth, you would’ve popped off the way you did in front of me, I don’t. But that doesn’t change what you think or how you feel about men like my father and women like my mother. The spouses they hurt, the families they ruin, and the bastard children they create.”
“Sky, come on. I was angry on my sister’s behalf. I wasn’t talking about you and your parents.”
“You were. You just didn’t know it.” She waved him away again when Malcolm started for her. “You didn’t say anything I haven’t heard before or what most people don’t think. I can’t help being a product of an adulterous affair. I’m not guilty of anything, but that never stopped the stares or judgment.” She laughed, low and mirthless. “I don’t even know why Mom gave me his last name, Robert didn’t openly acknowledge me as his child until after his political career ended, his wife divorced him, and his other children were grown. I was eighteen, when he decided to stop pretending the rumors were lies. Annapolis isn’t that big, and people talked, even if behind closed doors.”
“Sky, I—”
“Mom took me to see him once. I was seven and had never been in a waterfront home. I can still see the wide staircase my father walked down, his eyes wide, green and mad as hell at my mother for bringing me there. We went to his office. They argued. I cried, but they were too engrossed in their disagreement to notice, blaming each other for things no child needed to hear. So I left.”
“What do you mean you left?”
“Just that. I slipped from Robert’s office and ran as far away from my parents as I could. I ended up in a library where I hid until a woman found me. I asked if my dad was mad at me for running away. The woman turned out to be Mrs. Ellis.” Sky pointed to her face. “She took one look at me and said, ‘You have her face but his eyes.’”
Sky spared herself Malcolm’s pity by omitting her father’s wife had slapped her after she’d called her father “Daddy.” That had been Mrs. Ellis’s way of striking out at an unfaithful spouse and a woman who’d stolen parts of her marriage and husband.
Sade couldn’t force Robert to be a dad to Sky. Frustrated and angry at Robert’s dismissal of his responsibility to Sky, her mother may have been, but driving to the home he shared with his wife wasn’t a moment Sade could look back on with pride. When it came to Robert Ellis, however, every choice her mother made flew in the face of her intelligence and common sense.
“I don’t know if Robert told his wife or whether she suspected the truth. I do know Mrs. Ellis met my mother during the campaign and she knew Robert and Sade spent a lot of time together. I never wanted to know the details of their affair. The result was clear enough. I was born. Robert Ellis was a name on my birth certificate only, and he paid child support.”
Not that Sade needed financial support to take care of Sky. Being a political consultant paid well. So well, Sade deposited every child support check she’d received into a Money Market Account for Sky. By the time she’d reached the age of majority and Sade turned the account over to her, Sky had one hell of a nest egg for an eighteen-year-old. Between the money and property bequeathed to Sky from her mother’s will and the insurance payment from Sade’s death, Sky hadn’t touched a penny of Robert’s money.
“Rober
t was never my father. He never even tried to be, except when he called on birthdays and sent Christmas presents. By the time I came around, he had two sons and daughters by his wife. He didn’t need a little biracial kid messing up his pristine life.”
Malcolm scrambled to Sky’s side, his arms around her and her head buried in his shoulder. She didn’t want his pity. Sky wasn’t an abused child. Plenty of women raised children on their own. Her mother loved and cared for Sky. She taught her the value of an education, hard work, and persistence. Sade Page had slept with a man who could never give her what she needed or wanted. For Robert to have done so, he would’ve disrupted his entire life and that of his family.
He should’ve known better. They both should’ve made better and different decisions.
“You know why your mother didn’t regret her affair with your father.” Malcolm lifted her chin and made Sky look at him. “Because it gave her you.”
Sade said the same, every time Sky threw away one of Robert’s guilt gifts and cried about wishing she’d never been born. Sky hadn’t meant it, of course, but the words had come from a place of rejection and anger. Malcolm had been right. Sky had grown up mad at not only her father but her mother.
“I’m sorry about what I said. I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to.”
“You didn’t know because I didn’t tell you. I don’t like talking about my family. I don’t even like thinking about the secondary reason why my father didn’t want his affair with my mother to come out and to acknowledge me as his daughter.”
“Don’t say that.”
“Why not? We’re both too smart to not think it. Hell, you wrote about white liberalism in your dissertation. Their ideas didn’t stop their superior beliefs about race.”
“He’s your father.”
“I know. Most days I even believe he loves me. But it’s hard to ignore the role race plays in all our lives. A white man who sleeps with a Black woman, as you know, Professor Styles, doesn’t necessarily make him any less a product of society. You are. I am.”
“Have you talked to him about this?”
“It’s not exactly the kind of conversation either of us wants to have. What would he say? What would I say? It’s there between us, and the truth would change nothing. He wants to be a father to me, and I’m trying to let him. Nothing between us will ever be normal, but it’s not as bad as it was when he first tried to insinuate himself into my life. At that point, I damn near hated the man.”
“And now?”
“He’s my father, as you said. I want to be able to trust him, to think the best of him, although Robert makes it hard, sometimes. I do love him. I hadn’t realized I did until his heart attack. I can’t bring myself to think of his other children as my siblings. They know about me, but only one has ever reached out. Other than Robert and his daughter, Susan, I don’t have much of a family. A few cousins, on my mother’s side, but that’s pretty much it.”
“You have the Styles’ and me.”
“No, what I have is your sympathy and guilt. I don’t want either. I’ve never told anyone my story.”
“Then why did you tell me?”
Sky knew why, but the words stuck in her throat. If she told Malcolm, she would have nothing left.
He kissed her. Sky’s forehead, nose, cheek, lips. “Why me, Sky? Why bare your heart after what I said?”
“I don’t want to talk anymore, Malcolm. I’m tired.”
“You mean emotionally drained.”
“Same difference.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
“No, but I’ll understand if you want to go.”
He frowned. “That’s more than a little insulting. You aren’t a mistake, and I hate that you’ve felt that you were. You also aren’t your parents. And, Sky, I don’t care how you came into the world, only that you’re here.” He kissed her face, cheeks wet with tears she hadn’t known she’d shed. “I love you. I know you believe me because you trusted me with your pain.”
Sky hadn’t trusted anyone this much since her mother and grandmother died. Revealing so much of herself to another person, even Malcolm, left her feeling self-conscious and raw.
She crawled to the top of the bed and under the covers. Malcolm followed, spooning behind Sky, a hand on her hip, a leg wedged between hers. She shifted onto her back, and her hand went to Malcolm’s face.
“When I first met you, you scared the hell out of me.”
“Why?”
Her hand traveled to his hair, locks a waterfall of strength and beauty. Like Malcolm.
“You were insanely handsome but also intelligent, funny, and sensitive. For the first time, I wanted something I never had and thought, deep down, I may not deserve.”
“What’s that?” Malcolm turned and kissed the palm of the hand that had returned to his face.
“A man who would love me enough to put me first. I don’t mean that selfishly. I mean—”
“I know what you mean. Your father put his career, wife, other children, even his public image before his care and responsibility to you. For a long time, he abandoned you. Children need more than money and material goods from their parents. I get it. I know you don’t mean that you want me to put you first in everything I do. No more than I can expect that of you. But you want to be of equal value to other people in my life. Not to supplant them in my heart, but for me to make room for you in there beside them.”
Sky closed her eyes and fought the tears Malcolm’s words evoked. He’d looked into her heart with his perceptive mind and kind nature. Like tea leaves at the bottom of a cup, Malcolm divined the pattern of her soul.
“I love you, Malcolm.” She could feel his smile against the hand on his face. Sky opened watery eyes, her heart overflowing with love and affection for the man grinning down at her. “I love you.”
“I know. My father used to tell me that anything worth having is also worth fighting for.” His laughter made her smile. “But it was Mom who told me that any person worth having is also worth waiting for. It took thirty-six years for the woman worth having to walk into my life. Now that you’re here, Sky Ellis, I’m never letting you go.”
“Promise?” Heart fluttered, lips trembled, and tears fell.
Happy tears.
“I do. I’ll repeat the same, but louder and with a romantic poem, I’ve written, on the day of our wedding. How does that sound?”
“Like you’re pushing.”
He nudged her thigh with an interested penis. “I thought you enjoyed my pushing.”
Sky refrained from rolling her eyes. “Another double entendre.”
“You better get used to them. You’re going to be my wife.”
“You haven’t actually proposed, which means I haven’t given you an answer.”
“Do you plan on turning me down?”
“Maybe. Will the proposal come as a text message with one of your so-called romantic emojis?”
“Hey, show a little respect. That app is very popular.”
“Among the young adult crowd, I’m sure.” She tugged his locks and drew his face nearer. “What are you planning?” Sky whispered. “Something sugary sweet and eye-rolling romantic I hope.”
They kissed.
“No hints.”
“Just one. Please.”
“Fine.”
Malcolm jumped out of bed and darted out the bedroom. A few seconds later, he tossed his pants onto the corner chair and held his cell phone in his hand. Fingers hit the screen, and Sky went hunting for her own phone, which she found on the floor beside the bed.
It dinged, and she’d never been so anxious to get a text message. No words but a single image. A smiling elderly couple, both in glasses and with white hair, hers full and curly, his bald in the middle. They reached for each other, hands clasped tightly. A red heart hovered over their linked hands, and they couldn’t look happier to still be together and in love after so many years.
Malcolm plopped down on the bed.
S
ky pointed to the emoticon. “I want this.” She rose to her knees and straddled his hips. “With you.” Hands toyed with his hair. “Mmm, I would hate to have you lose all this hair.”
“I think you only want me around so you can play with it.”
“Maybe I’m jealous. Your hair is prettier and longer than mine.”
Sky began to move against him, teasing them both. They’d used the last of her condoms.
“Did you bring—”
“In my wallet. Two. I’ll go out tomorrow and get more. Unless…” Hips thrust, sliding Malcolm’s tempting offer between her lips.
Yes, very tempting.
“I’m not there yet.”
“I know, but you will be. I already have names picked out.”
“I just bet you do. Martin after MLK? William after DuBois? Or, if we have a girl, Assata after Shakur?”
“No, but those are good, especially Assata.”
“What then?”
“Aria, Solstice, Cypress.”
“No nature names.”
“Yes, nature names. Everest, Ginger, Chase.”
“Chase?”
“Like that one, do you? Remind you of something?”
“You didn’t have to chase me.”
“The hell if I didn’t. When will it be my turn to be chased?”
Sky made to reply, but the phone rang. Dammit, she should’ve known. Sky swore.
“What’s wrong?”
“You’re not the only male, in my life, I haven’t spoken to in two weeks. Robert’s going to burn my ears, if I answer the phone.”
“Then let me answer.”
“Uh, no.”
“Why not?”
The ringing stopped. Thirty seconds later it resumed, and Sky swore again.
“I’m not ready for this.” Reaching toward the nightstand, Sky plucked the phone from the cradle and handed it to Malcolm. “Too much, too soon. Don’t smile, Malcolm, I’m serious. I’m not ready for any of this.”
Still giving her a self-satisfied grin, Malcolm took the phone from Sky’s hand. He hit the talk button after she slid from his lap and buried herself under the comforter.
Seduction in a Suit: An Office Romance Collection Page 50