I had to. To survive in these parts you have to be territorial, just like animals are. You have to be controlling, just like a shepherd. You have to be possessive, just like the alpha over his flock. And you have to be obsessive about their protection and well-being.
And yeah. You have to be a borderline stalker. How do you think mountain lions stay alive in these parts? How about black bears? They stalk their prey and when the time is right they pounce. And they attack with the self-confidence of an animal that already knows it’s going to win.
And that’s how I am. I’m watching her. Ready for that moment to pounce, and I’ve been close before like I was earlier today.
But sometimes you need to create your own opportunities and that’s exactly what I’ve gone out and done.
And soon the time will be right…and when it is you can bet I’ll be ready.
CHAPTER 4
Cheyenne
The live streaming video camera from the barn beeps and I roll over in bed.
Layla my lamb, who is now an ewe is due to give birth any time and it looks like that time is now.
I roll out of bed and look at the clock on the wall. Seven minutes after three in the morning. Of course she’d go into labor at this time, but I’m not complaining.
I love animals and I love my Layla. I was there when she came into this world and I’ll be there when the baby she has today has her own babies.
The lambing process is pretty straightforward and most ewes can do it on their own, but I’d never not be there by the side of one of my sheep. There’s always a chance of a complication plus I love seeing those little lambs come into the world. And it usually only takes an hour or up to maybe three or four for the entire process to be done. But it’s just so darn rewarding that I’d never miss it.
I just love those lambs so much and I think it’s having an effect on me as well. I want a baby of my own. Or maybe that’s the Cody effect. Either way I get dressed and make my way out to the barn making sure not to wake my parents.
When I arrive at Layla’s pen I notice something is off.
Oh no! Did a mountain lion or some other predator get in? We’ve got the barn locked down and secured so tightly, but you never know the will of a hungry predator in these parts.
I reach for my big flashlight and grab a gun.
“Don’t shoot,” a deep gravelly voice says.
“Cody?”
“Yeah, it’s Cody. Who else would it be?”
I set the gun down and make my way over to the pen.
“Who else would it be? It’s not exactly like I was expecting you in the middle of the night in our barn.” I pause making sure this isn’t a dream…or some weird nightmare. “How did you get in?”
“I’ve got my ways. You weren’t expecting anybody else out here were you?”
I’m not sure if he means my mom or dad or some other guy? I don’t really care for his line of questioning, but I do like the tone that he uses to say it. It’s coming from a place of…jealousy. Cody is jealous. He wants me all to himself.
“No,” I say.
“Good, because the lambing is done.”
“Done? She just started.”
“She started about three hours ago.”
“Impossible. I have a camera on her.”
“I know. I have a camera on her too.”
“What?”
“You heard me. I have a camera in here too. When she started lambing I got here as soon as I could. I turned your camera, pointing it to another pen. I just turned it back right now when she was finishing…so you’d come out.”
I’m not sure if I should thank him or call the cops.
“How did you get a camera out here? Why did you put a camera out here?”
“I’ve got my ways and I’ve got my reasons.”
“So that’s your answer to everything? You’ve got your ways. That’s all you’ve got to say and I’m supposed to accept it. Accept that you’re technically trespassing, but it’s okay because…you’ve got your ways?”
“It’s not my answer to everything. That’s why I’m here.” He gets up off his knees from the hay next to Layla and moves closer to me. I feel my breath catch as a bit of moonlight from above shines through a crack in the ceiling and catches in his eyes. “I’m here because you’re the answer to everything and I won’t accept not having you as mine. Yeah, I may be trespassing but you started it when you started stomping around in my thoughts, wandering around in my mind all the time, and girl you never leave. You’re always there. You’re all I can think about and all I want to think about.”
I look at his intensity and then I look down at his hands which still have the evidence of the work he’s done out here in my barn. Work that I should have been doing but he just handled it for me all by himself, and without even asking.
“I’m gonna go over to the sink and wash up. And when I’m done we need to talk,” he says as he walks right past me, brushing against my arm and sending heat right through me even in the cool still of the night.
I stay frozen in my position. Is this really happening? And here and now of all places?
I look at those two little lambs that were just born and imagine the big, burly man who welcomed them into the world. Two creatures but oh so different. He was there for them when they needed him. He was their protector, making sure they were born properly and without complications.
I watch as they nuzzle up to their mother. They’re a little family now.
And if I’m hearing what I think I’m hearing Cody wants the same…with me.
CHAPTER 5
Cheyenne
I hold on to Cody tight from behind as Bullet races across the Laramie landscape under the pale moonlight. It’s such a beautiful night and to be able to experience it, and share it, with my ultimate man only makes it feel like more of a fantasy.
Cody washed up quick and got me on the back of Bullet. He said we needed to get over to his place and then back to mine before the sunrise which is about a quarter to six.
I know why. He knows my dad gets up with the sun and he wants me back at home in time so he doesn’t figure out where I’ve been.
But there’s something I figured out long ago. I want Cody just as much as he wants me.
He was always something of an uncle to me when I was growing up. He was feared by most everyone else, but to me he was so nice, generous, and kind. But he could also be a hard ass…fair, but hard. He told me I had to learn that nothing comes easy and sometimes he’d intentionally make things difficult on me. A kind of tough love that’s been lost in many parts of the world, but a kind of love we need to be taught out here at a young age to ensure survival.
And Cody was there to teach me, right along with my dad.
But when I got to be about seventeen Cody up and left. We all knew he was coming back, but never knew when for sure. He was the best cowboy the state had ever seen and apparently some other people saw him and noticed him too because they made him an offer to come down to New Zealand and train some of their cowboys down there…everything from cattle drives to mending fences. Cody could do it all and they wanted him to stay longer than his original contract too.
But then another offer came in from Australia and Cody jumped all over it. Suddenly his two years turned into three and then four.
And although Cody never went to college, and sure never needed to, he must have figured four years was enough for those boys to get an education because after four years he came back…right in time for my birthday party.
I never knew if he planned it that way or it was just a coincidence.
But from the way he’s been acting since it seems a lot more like he planned it that way.
I feel his thick oblique muscles and his strong abdominals as I hold on to his body tight. And what a body he has. I’d like to feel it without the layer of cotton between us. I know his muscles weren’t built in a gym, and I want to feel their rugged lines knowing they’re just as rugged as the lands we l
ive on and as hard as the ground after a drought.
But one night with him would be anything but a drought for me. I was wet just at his display of ownership of me the other day. It was a little barbaric, probably sophomoric in some ways, and definitely had a bit of caveman to it, but it was all Cody. He sees what he wants and he takes it.
And as he pulls the reins back on Bullet it’s clear he’s taken me to a different part of his property than his house.
“What’s this?” I ask as he gets off Bullet and then carefully helps me down like a gentleman would a lady.
“This? This is yours. All yours,” he says.
“What?”
He takes my hand without asking me and walks me toward the barn.
My hand feels so small and feminine and tiny in his. Sometimes doing all this farm and ranch work makes me feel more like a man than a woman. I’m certainly a tomboy and I’m used to hanging around guys, but Cody always has a way of making me feel like a woman whenever he’s around. And he’s the only one who can do that for some reason.
He never tells crude jokes around me. He always treats me with so much respect. And there’s also the fact that he’s so much bigger than I am. I can’t help but feel tiny and feminine when a big, burly man is standing next to me taking the lead all the time.
Just like he is taking the lead now. Technically I’m not doing anything. He’s in complete control. He set up this meeting, put me on his horse, and now we’re here at his place.
I have a lot of things I have to do everyday. Decisions decisions…and more decisions I have to make whether that’s at home, at school, or anywhere else in my life. Cody is removing all of that right now. He’s just doing…well, everything.
And as much as I want to be a woman of the twenty-first century, one who can do everything for herself, it’s nice sometimes to just kind of sit back and let things happen.
And I can do that with Cody because I trust him. I know he’s not going to let anything happen to me…nothing I don’t want.
And do I ever want him and I sure as heck want to know what this is all about.
CHAPTER 6
Cody
I push open the door to the big ol’ brand new barn I’ve built on the back of my property. It took a lot of hard work to build it so fast and a lot more work keeping it a secret.
But I had to. I wanted to surprise her. I needed to see that look on her face when she saw that I’m the man who’s got her back. The man that believes in her.
Her parents and I taught her lessons when she was a little girl, but now the tables have turned. She’s taken those lessons about life and the cowboy and cowgirl way of life and she’s expanded on them and now it’s her turn to be the teacher.
“I’ve been watching the things you’ve been working on…studying your research about sheep and the uses of ethical, sustainable wool and way to not only increase production, but to do it in a way that it’s much better for the sheep. In a human way that protects the animal.” I pause, ready to let her know how serious about this I am. “I want to be a part of that. A very small part. I want you to have a place where you can work on this full time with all the resources you need.”
I watch as her eyes just scan the barn. It’s still pretty dark inside, but our eyes have adjusted to the lack of light and you can make out the general idea of just how massive and cutting edge this barn is.
“But…how did you even…”
“Know? I’ve been following your research papers,” I say.
“But you were half-way around the world. And a lot of them weren’t even published.”
“I’ve got friends in high places…low places too.”
“What?” I ask.
“I saw the published one and knew you were on to something. I did some digging and found out the school didn’t have enough funding or money to continue with what you were suggesting, but that was after you’d worked on the project for months and had produced a lot of work that wasn’t published.”
She looks at the barn and the layout and I know what she’s thinking.
“But this is exactly laid out in the way I recommended. You couldn’t have known that. You never saw that paper. No one did.”
“Like I said…I’ve got friends in low places too.”
“This isn’t a Garth Brooks song, Cody. This is my life! How did you find out about that?”
“Dumpster diving. I paid a guy. That and I know a guy at the university in the tech department. He has access to the web servers, whatever that means. All I know is I had two guys with access to what you were working on. And they sent me all the updates. I worked through the math myself and it’s sound. I believe in this project and I believe in you. It needs to happen and I want it to happen. And it’s your work. Work you can do here…on my farm. Our farm.”
She takes a step back and exhales hard.
“Cody! Are you crazy? You were…were…spying on me! You were… stalking me! And now you want to…what…be my business partner or something? Are you out of your mind?”
“I already told you I am when it comes to you.”
I reach my hand up to touch that beautiful, high cheekbone of hers but she pulls away.
“Wait a second. I need to process this,” she says.
She paces around the barn before stepping outside into the night to get some air.
“Take me home. Please. I need time to myself right now.”
“You don’t like it?” I ask feeling shattered. It’s like I’ve been run over by a combine, the thing backed up over me and ran over me again. I bet my entire life on this. I knew she was going to be so excited and so thrilled that I put all that money from my last four years of working like a man possessed into this.
I’m not the best at reading women, but I don’t get the impression that she’s excited. This definitely isn’t the reaction I was expecting. But she’s a woman and I will always respect a woman and her wishes.
“I can’t talk about this right now.”
I extend my hand to walk her back to Bullet.
“Not right now. It’s too much,” she says.
We walk towards Bullet side by side, but not hand in hand as I want to. I want to feel her pulse beating in her veins. I want to feel the excitement in her words and in her step knowing I did this for her.
But I get none of that.
All I get is a quiet ride back to her place and an even lonelier ride back to mine.
I crawl into bed just before sunrise, but I know that I won’t be falling asleep anytime soon.
I may be crushed right now, but I’m not a quitter.
And she’s not either.
I know she wants to work on that project just as much as I want her…and she wants me.
I just came on too strong. My desire for her, my obsession with her, was too overwhelming.
But damn if I’m going to give up. I want her now just as much as ever.
And I’m going to come up with a new plan to make her mine.
And there’s no time to sleep.
I jump out of bed just as quickly as I slid into it.
I start the coffee pot and start pacing the kitchen floor.
I’ve got work to do…the most important work of my life.
Getting her in this house as my wife and making her mine…forever.
And it starts…again…right now.
CHAPTER 7
Cheyenne
That was the wildest ninety minutes ever.
I slide back into bed hoping I can get a little bit of sleep before it’s time to wake up and go to class, but I can pretty much guarantee my sleeping for the night is done.
One the on hand I want to yell at Cody and ask him what the hell he was thinking.
But on the other I want to wrap my arms around him and thank him all day and night for putting every penny he must have had into my dream.
Just knowing how much he believes in me and that he’s willing to risk everything to pursue my dream with me hits me right in t
he chest, and it gives me even more self-confidence to continue. He’s inspired me, and kind of frightened me, at the same time.
But I knew that when I saw the intensity in his eyes at my birthday party.
His heart’s in the right place it’s just that I’m not used to someone pursuing things in life so strongly. Cody’s the only one I know like that and he’s been gone for four years so things were kind of normal, shall I say, without him around.
Possessive Cowboy_An Older Man Younger Woman Romance Page 2