by Tara Bond
But it was easier said than done. I was desperate to leave Destination—and not just because of Alex. I could handle people staring and whispering about me—I’d had enough of that in the past—but I needed a job with more sociable hours. I’d had an interview the previous week—nothing fancy, just to be a receptionist at a gym in the City.
On paper, the job had been ideal. The pay was all right, and the hours were good—as it was near Liverpool Street Station, in the centre of the banking district, there would be no weekends, and the latest I’d ever be working until was ten at night. But my interview hadn’t gone well. The female manager had seemed unimpressed with my reliability, and I winced still at the memory of her questioning.
So why did you only work for three months at the petrol station?
And you’ve been working at Destination for how long now?
If you don’t mind me saying, you haven’t stayed in any one job for very long. Is there a reason for that?
And do you have any references?
I’d tried to explain as best I could, but even I had to admit my CV was sketchy. I’d walked out with a distinct feeling of “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.” I’d applied for a whole load of other jobs, but if that was anything to go by, I didn’t fancy my chances.
“Anyway,” I said, shutting down my laptop. “I’m seeing that flat at noon. Fingers crossed something comes of that.”
“Yeah, and don’t give up on that job just yet. I bet you didn’t stuff up as much as you think you did.”
Jas gave me an encouraging smile, and I tried to return it. But I had the distinct feeling that things were just as bad as I believed.
* * *
“Now, as you can see, all three bedrooms are well proportioned.” The estate agent led the way into what I assumed was the main bedroom. Sandra Morgan—or Sandy, as she’d told me to call her—was a hard-faced middle-aged woman, sporting a pillar-box red 1980s power suit, complete with shoulder pads. She looked like she’d had her hair blow-dried out that morning. I’d been surprised that her waves could fit through the door. “The rooms can all take double beds, and they each have generous wardrobe space.”
She went on to tell me how the flat was close to all amenities—the Tube and bus stations, and the shopping centre—but really she didn’t need to sell it to me. It was absolutely perfect—exactly what I’d been looking for.
It was in Canada Water, across the river from Plaistow, where we used to live. The area had begun gentrifying over the past two decades, and boasted upmarket apartment complexes that were now home to young professionals. The building was only about five years old, which meant it had that new-build feel—magnolia walls, cream carpets and small but functional rooms. It was a little impersonal, but at least it felt clean, neat and modern. April would love it, I was sure, and more important, I could imagine our social worker, Maggie, being impressed when she came to visit.
Once we were back in the kitchen, Sandy turned to me with a wide, enthusiastic smile. “So what do you think?”
The kitchen was a good place to ask the question. Although it was small—or “compact,” as Sandy called it—it was south-facing, which meant light flooded through the huge window over the sink, hitting the table in the corner. I could imagine our family gathered round there.
“I’ll take it,” I said, and I could see her eyes light up at the news.
“That’s wonderful!” She riffled through her leather conference folder, and handed me some papers. “Here’s the application form to fill in. All very standard. We’ll just need to check references and clear the deposit, and it’ll all be yours.”
I glanced at the form, and something caught my eye. “The deposit’s six weeks’ rent? I only thought it’d be four.”
The smile left the estate agent’s face. “Well, it’s six. Non-negotiable. Is that going to be a problem?”
It wouldn’t have been if I’d taken that cash Alex offered me for the final game. Sometimes I wished I wasn’t so principled. My life would certainly be a lot easier.
When I didn’t respond immediately, Sandy sighed. “Look.” She gave a pointed glance at her watch. Her earlier friendliness had been replaced by impatience. “Sorry to do this, but I have another appointment now.”
With what must have been a practised technique honed over many years, she managed to herd me out of the kitchen and into the hallway. Before I knew it, the front door was open and I was standing outside on the Welcome mat.
“You’ll let the owner know that I’m interested, though,” I said, aware that the flat was slipping away from me.
“I will. But don’t hold your breath. This is a very popular development.”
With that, she closed the door in my face.
* * *
When I got back to Jas’s flat late that afternoon, I felt very low. It seemed it wasn’t going to be as easy as I’d hoped to find a job and a new place. But as I opened the front door, Jas came bounding out to greet me.
“How did things go?” she asked, dancing from one foot to the other.
I’d appreciated how much time Jas had spent with me in the last two weeks—especially as I wasn’t much fun to be around. I knew she was dying to move in with Hugh, and could easily have abandoned me, but instead she’d stayed around to try to cheer me up.
“Not great.” I dumped my bag on the floor, and slipped off my trainers. While I loved Jas’s spirit, I wasn’t in the mood to be jollied along.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” She grabbed my hand. “Come and listen to your messages.”
She pulled me through to the sitting room, and stood over me as I worked the answering machine. I could tell she was struggling to contain her excitement, but even I was shocked as I listened to the first message from the manager at the gym, offering me the job as receptionist, and the second from Sandy, saying that the owner was prepared to accept just four weeks’ deposit.
Jas was grinning from ear to ear as I finished listening to the messages for a second time. “See? What did I say about everything working out?”
Relief flooded through me. It seemed like my fresh start was just around the corner. At this rate, soon we’d have April back, and I’d never have to see Alex Noble again.
* * *
“So you’re leaving us, then?” Giles said, leaning up against the bar.
It was two days later, and I was in the middle of my shift at Destination. I’d tried to catch up with him earlier to say that I had a new job, but he hadn’t been around, so I’d ended up leaving my resignation letter on his desk.
We hadn’t really talked since that time I’d rejected him, but I was glad he’d come to find me. He’d been good to me, and I didn’t want to leave things on a bad note. It was good to know he felt the same.
“I hope it’s not because of, er . . .”
“Alex?” I filled in.
He had the grace to look embarrassed. “Sorry. I heard a few things. I shouldn’t listen to the gossip, but . . .” He shrugged. I knew what he meant, when it was so prolific, it became unavoidable.
“It’s nothing like that. I needed something with more normal hours.”
“I’m sure Dad would’ve found something for you.”
In fact, Duncan Noble had said as much when I’d called him earlier to tell him my news. I’d felt I owed him that courtesy, since he’d helped me out of a hole a few months earlier. His offer had surprised me, given that he’d caught me with Alex at Rexley Manor, and I’d wondered if he’d made it simply because he knew I’d been rejected by his son. That had been enough to make me turn him down. “Yeah, well, it’s done now, and I’m happy.”
Giles nodded understandingly. “That’s good. I’m glad things are working out for you. And if you need a reference, or anything in the future, just give me a call.”
“Thanks.” I could see he genuinely meant it. “For everything. You’ve been really kind to me. You know, not saying anything about the poker.”
As we
were talking, I felt someone’s eyes on me. I looked up and saw Alex sitting with his group in one of the booths across the room. He was staring directly at us, and for whatever reason, he didn’t look happy.
It was the first time I’d seen him since that awful night when he’d humiliated me in front of his friends. Whether he’d been avoiding me, or just hadn’t ended up at Destination, I didn’t know or care—I’d just been pleased not to have to see him. Until now.
Our eyes held for a moment. Then Alex turned back to Tori, who was sitting next to him, and resumed his conversation.
Giles moved off then, and I went back to my work.
The incident with Alex had taken no more than a few seconds, and I thought nothing of it until later, when I was going on my break. As I walked along the corridor I heard someone behind me. When I looked round, he was there. Any irritation I felt at him following me died when I saw the expression on his face. He was furious.
“What’s going on with you and Giles?” he demanded.
“Nothing.” I turned, and started to walk away. But he moved in front of me, blocking my way.
“Don’t take me for a fool. I saw you two together. Tell me—are you screwing him already?”
I could feel the anger coming off him in waves. I couldn’t believe his hypocrisy. He’d slept with me, rejected and humiliated me, and now he had the cheek to—what? What was this even? If I didn’t know better, I’d have assumed he was jealous.
I was going to explain that I’d handed in my notice, and we’d just been saying our goodbyes, but then I wondered why I should bother. I didn’t need to justify myself to him. If Alex had jumped to conclusions about my relationship with Giles, I wasn’t about to set him straight.
“What if I am?” I raised my chin in defiance. “I don’t see what business it is of yours.” I took a step forward, squaring up to him. “You made it very clear that you wanted nothing to do with me. So why don’t you do us both a favour, and leave me alone.”
I turned away, but he grabbed my hand.
“Nina—”
“Don’t!” I snatched my hand away. “I don’t know what you’re trying to do—whether you want to see if I have so little self-respect that I’ll come back to you after you treated me like dirt, just so you can humiliate me again. But if that is it, let me set the record straight—I’m better than that, and I’m better than you. So don’t you ever touch me again.”
He stared at me for a long moment. I made sure to hold his gaze. My heart was beating so hard with anger and hurt that I could barely breathe, but I refused to let him see how much he’d affected me. For a second I thought he was going to say something else, but to my relief, he walked away.
I watched him go back inside. Only then could I let out a deep breath.
Something made me follow him, and I saw him return to the booth and slip in beside a pretty blonde, his arm snaking round her shoulder as he leaned over to whisper something in her ear. Her eyes lit up. Whatever he’d said must have done the trick, because a second later, the two of them headed for the door.
My eyes blurred with tears, and I quickly wiped them away. There was no point wasting tears over someone like Alex. He had made it very clear he wasn’t interested in me. He was a free agent. As far as I was concerned, he could sleep with whoever the hell he wanted.
But seeing him about to do so didn’t stop it from hurting.
Chapter 23
“Is Sandra around?”
There was only one person in the estate agent’s office, a spotty young man who didn’t look old enough to shave, wearing a suit that was a size too large for him. I suspected he was on work experience.
“Sorry, she’s already left for the day. Can I help at all?”
I hesitated for a second, wondering if I could trust this somewhat nervous, softly spoken young man. But then I decided what the hell. I was only dropping off my signed copy of the lease. If he couldn’t process it, I could always come back tomorrow.
In fact, he turned out to be more competent than he looked. He asked me to take a seat, and for the next ten minutes he went over everything in painstaking detail. I’d pretty much tuned out, when I heard him say, “And we’ve got the full six weeks’ rental deposit paid up front—”
“No, you haven’t,” I interrupted.
He looked up in surprise.
“I could only pay four weeks’, so Sandra agreed to that.”
He raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound like Sandra.” He flipped through the paperwork. “No, it’s all here. Says paid in full.”
I probably should have let it go there, but something made me want to be clear that everything was all right—I didn’t want to assume I had the flat only for it to be taken from me. “I’m telling you, I only paid four weeks’.”
He frowned. “Let me check again . . . Yes,” he said after a moment. “You only paid four weeks’, and the other two were paid by a third party. That’s where the confusion came from.”
Something in my head clicked. My heart began to beat faster.
“This may sound like an odd question, but what’s the name of this ‘third party’?”
“Uh . . .” I could see him hesitating, likely wondering if there was anything amiss in revealing the information. But then he must have come to the realisation that the money was paid on my behalf—so what would it matter? He scanned the documents again. “The payment was made by a Mr. Noble. Mr. Alexander Noble.” He must have seen the shock on my face. “Oh God. Are you all right? What did I say? Can I get you anything?”
Somehow I managed to assure him I was fine. Feeling like I was in a daze, I collected my bag and stumbled from the office.
As I walked along the street, I thought back to how certain I’d been that I wouldn’t get the job or the flat—and then miraculously I’d got both. And I remembered Jas’s assurances that things weren’t as bad as I thought, and her reaction when I’d found out that everything had fallen into place—she hadn’t seemed anywhere near as surprised as I’d been. In fact, it had almost felt like she’d been expecting the news.
* * *
“All right, babes?” Jas’s voice sang out from the kitchen as I banged the front door shut. “I was just about to stick the kettle on. Do you fancy a cuppa—”
The last word died on her lips as I appeared in the kitchen doorway. The look on my face no doubt said everything.
“You know, don’t you?” I nodded, still too mad to speak. She closed her eyes briefly and swore under her breath.
She looked up at me from her seat at the table, her eyes already swimming with tears. “Sit down for a minute, will you? Let me explain.”
But I didn’t move from the doorway. Instead, I folded my arms. I’d had enough of everyone betraying me. I’d been right to keep myself closed off over the years. Any time you trusted someone, they inevitably betrayed you.
“I thought you were my friend, Jas.” My voice was low and controlled as I spoke. It took all my willpower to ignore what seemed to be the genuine anguish on Jas’s face. “I thought you hated him, too.”
“I am! I do!”
“Then why are you helping him? And what’s the point of all this? That’s what I don’t get.” It was the question that had been tormenting me all the way to Jas’s flat—and it was the one I couldn’t answer. What was Alex’s angle here? He’d made it clear that he despised me—that I was nothing to him. So why had he paid part of the deposit so I got the flat I wanted? And what had he done to ensure I got the receptionist post at the gym—because I was almost positive that my being offered the job had something to do with him.
I took a step towards Jas. “Just tell me what’s going on. Is this some other little game to humiliate me? And you decided to be part of it?”
“God, no! It’s nothing like that!”
“Then what is this? Because for the life of me, I don’t get it.”
Jas’s face crumpled. “Please, babes, don’t be mad. There’s nothing underhand going
on, I swear.” I didn’t say anything, and I could see her quaking under my glare. “Look, Alex came up to me at the club the other week. He asked me how you were doing. I was so angry with him I told him everything—how you were struggling to get a flat and a job, and that it was all his fault. He asked me the details, and, well, I did wonder if he might do something. But honestly I thought, What’s the harm? It was the least he could do after the way he treated you. But we weren’t in cahoots, or anything like that . . .”
Her eyes were wide and wet, like a puppy’s when it knows it’s done wrong and is begging for forgiveness. I was inclined to believe her, but right now, I wasn’t in the mood to let her off the hook. “Maybe you weren’t deliberately colluding with him. But you still should’ve said something.”
She dropped her eyes, her hands fidgeting on the kitchen table. “I know. And I’m sorry.”
I knew she wanted me to say I forgave her, but I wasn’t in the mood. I turned and left the room.
I could hear the scrape of the kitchen chair as Jas followed me out. “I’m really sorry,” she said as she caught up with me at the front door. “Please don’t be mad at me.”
I sighed. She sounded so distraught that I had to give her something. “Look, it’s not you I’m mad at. It’s him.” I spat the last word with all the distaste I could muster.
Jas chewed at her lip. “I know you are, but . . .”
“What?” I could see her hesitate, wondering if she should say what she wanted to. “Whatever it is, tell me.”
“Just that if it’s any consolation, I got the feeling that he was doing this because he cared about you.”
I didn’t bother to acknowledge that. Instead, I slammed the door on my way out.
* * *
Standing on the crowded street, I gazed up at the glass-and-chrome building that housed Alex’s apartment. When I’d left two weeks earlier, I hadn’t expected to see it ever again, and I needed a moment to gather my courage. A man in a suit brushed by me, shooting me a dirty look. Obviously the middle of the pavement wasn’t the best place to stand. It was nearly eight in the evening, and while the rush hour had died down, Knightsbridge was the kind of area that was always busy. Shoppers were pouring out of Harrods and Harvey Nicks, and the nearby restaurants and hotels were heaving.