by I. T. Lucas
Mey let out a relieved breath. “Thank God, the merciful Fates, and whatever higher power that guided your decision. And thank you.” Her hands were trembling so badly that some of the coffee spilled on the table. She put the mug down. “I want to get up and kiss you, but my legs don’t seem to work.”
Poor girl. His indecision had put her through the wringer.
Pushing away from the table, he got up, walked over to Mey, and picked her up in his arms. “Now you can kiss me.”
With the tears that had pooled in the corners of her eyes succumbing to gravity, twin rivulets started down her cheeks.
As he walked toward the couch, he kissed each tear away, her eyelids, her lips.
“I’m sorry,” he said as he sat down, holding Mey close to his chest. “It was a difficult decision to make, and in the end, I needed help to reach it.”
“From whom?” Mey wiped her wet cheeks with the back of her hands.
“I guess the Fates.”
He chuckled at Mey’s raised brow. His girl was not a believer.
“During my morning stroll, I somehow found myself next to Annani’s house. She saw me and decided to join me on my walk. We talked, and I told her my dilemma. She told me that I’ve paid my dues and that I should start living my life.”
Mey smiled. “Can I thank her in person? Will she agree to see me?”
“I don’t know. The goddess decides who she wants to invite over and when. I don’t think she accepts requests for audiences.” He rubbed Mey’s back. “Aren’t you curious to hear what she had to say?”
“I’m guessing that it was something along the lines of telling you to stop believing in superstition and that your vow has nothing to do with your powers. That it is all in your head.”
For a long moment, he just gaped at her. “That's what you thought it was? That I invoked the Fates to grant me superpowers in exchange for my vow of celibacy?”
Now Mey looked unsure. “What else could it have been? People usually make vows in exchange for something they desperately need, like protection for their loved ones or cure from disease. In times of great trouble, it’s a way for them to feel a little less helpless and hopeless.”
“That might be true for humans, but that wasn’t what started me on this path. In my case, there is a direct correlation between my abstinence and the increase in power. I channel all of my pent-up sexual energy into my shrouds and thralls.”
Mey put her hand on his shoulder. “Seriously? How did you find out that it worked like that? Did you join a monastery or something? Because you had to abstain first to discover that it increased your powers.”
Evidently, she was still doubtful.
“It wasn’t a voluntary thing. I was banished to an uninhabited island for six months. Annani wanted me to have a long time to reflect on my sins, and the punishment she came up with fitted my crime perfectly.”
“What did you do? I can’t believe that you’ve ever intentionally committed a crime. Especially not against your own people.”
He leaned and kissed her forehead. “Thank you for believing the best about me.” He sighed. “You are right. There was no malice in what I did. I was young and vain, and I thought that pleasuring ladies, whether they were married or not, was my way of spreading the joy.”
She smirked. “Typical male with an overinflated ego. But how was that a crime?”
“Those were different times, Mey. And I was supposed to limit myself to widows and paid service providers. Annani specifically warned us against seducing virgins and married women. They were off-limits.”
Mey rolled her eyes. “Big deal. So, you had some fun with ladies you weren’t supposed to. I bet that you weren’t the only one and that the husbands of those ladies were playing around as well.”
He shook his head. “Perhaps that was all true, but in my case, I should have been doubly careful and heeded Annani’s warning. I didn’t look like the average Scot, and when one of my lovers gave birth to my child, it was very obvious to her husband that it wasn’t his. He murdered her and my child on the birthing bed, claiming later that they had both died in childbirth. Back then, it wasn’t uncommon, but I suspected something.”
“What did you do?”
“I entered his mind and saw what he did. Suffice it to say that he didn’t wake up the next morning.”
Mey’s eyes blazed with anger, but it wasn’t directed at him. “Good for you. You did the right thing.”
“I don’t regret that. The murderer had to die. But it was my vanity and rule-breaking that had caused the tragedy. I was stricken with grief and guilt, and I confessed my crimes to the goddess. In her infinite wisdom, she sent me to that uninhabited island, where I had to build a shelter for myself to keep warm in the bitter winter and to hunt for my food. It was a harsh and inhospitable place, and it was perfect for my penance. When it was done, and I came back, I discovered what the long abstinence had done for me. I accepted it as a sign from the Fates that my mission from that point on was to defend the clan. It gave meaning to my suffering.”
“Did you ever try to take a break from it? You should have checked whether releasing your sexual energy naturally diminished your powers.”
He shook his head. “I didn’t dare. Besides, the way I felt after an intense shroud or thrall was almost like after a climax. I was spent, exhausted, and felt no urge to have sex.” He smiled. “Until you came along. Even after the massive shroud that I pulled yesterday, when I came home to you, my libido sprang to life as soon as you jumped on me.”
“I’m sorry.”
45
Mey
“Why are you sorry?”
As the full impact of Yamanu’s confession hit Mey, the tears started flowing again.
The clan depended on him for its safety, and it wasn’t about a belief. This wasn’t something that existed only in Yamanu’s head, it was real, and it had been tested.
More or less.
What he’d said about feeling spent after shrouding or thralling made sense. He used up the reserves of energy he’d built by abstaining.
Frankly, she couldn’t understand the goddess. It was true that Yamanu had paid his dues, and it was also true that it wasn’t fair to demand further sacrifice from him. But the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the individual, especially when their survival depended on it.
How could she have told him to break his vow?
The goddess probably felt bad for him. Hell, Mey felt devastating sorrow for both of them. She was already mourning the relationship they could have had. But she was also pragmatic.
In fact, Mey was sure that Kian would have never given Yamanu the okay. As the de facto leader of his people and as someone with a military and strategic background, he would have never given up on an asset like Yamanu only because he felt sorry for him.
“Mey? Why are you crying? I thought you’d be happy.”
Resting her forehead against his chest, she whispered, “I can’t.”
“You can’t what?” He hooked a finger under her chin and lifted her head, so she had to look into his eyes. “Talk to me.”
“The goddess told you that you’ve paid your dues and that you’ve sacrificed enough. That’s all true. But if your clan depends on you for its safety, how can you turn your back on that?” Through the mist of tears, she tried to read his expression. “I can’t be that selfish, and neither can you.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself to his solid chest. “As much as it hurts, you need to let me go.”
Those had been the hardest words that Mey had ever had to say, and now that they were out, she started sobbing in earnest.
His arms tightened around her. “I can’t do that. I won’t.”
“People depend on you, Yamanu. You have to either erase my memories and send me back to New York or pass me to someone else.”
Stroking her hair, he rocked her like a baby. “I’m not going to do either of those things. You are mine, Mey, and I’m going to keep you.
The only way I’m letting you go is if you tell me that you don’t want me.”
“You know that I do.” She’d almost blurted that she loved him, but that would have just heaped up more hurt on top of the pain that was already too excruciating to bear.
“The clan will manage without me. As the goddess pointed out, no one is irreplaceable. The Scottish arm of the clan maintains a permanent shroud around their castle by combining the power of several shrouders working in shifts. We can try to do the same here. Also, technology is progressing, and our tech people could come up with some interesting devices. Besides, if abstaining from sex powered my abilities, someone else might be able to do the same. I think it is time I passed my martyr scepter to another male.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’m ready for the crown of a mated man. After all, my mate is a queen, so that makes me a king.”
Mey chuckled through the tears. “I’m just an ex-beauty queen, not a real one.”
“You are my queen.”
Lifting the bottom of her long T-shirt, she wiped the tears of her eyes and cheeks. “I bet Kian would not be as merciful and gracious as the goddess. Losing your protection is not something he can afford to do.”
“I talked to Kian before I talked to Annani, and you are right, he was hesitant about giving me the green light. But he left the decision up to me.”
Mey shook her head. “Your people are really special. Humans are not like that. If the government has my sister, and they know what she can do, they are never going to let her go. They are going to use her without giving a damn about what it does to her or whether she wants to do it or not.”
“In my case, never is a very long time. Annani and Kian accept that I’ve done enough. The Fates rewarded me for the many centuries of sacrifice by bringing you into my life, and to refuse their gift is to court their wrath. They might retaliate by taking you as well as my ability away.” He leaned and kissed her lips. “I’m willing to risk my ability, but not you. Besides, who knows? If I’m super nice and express my gratitude in every way I can, they might let me keep both you and my powers.”
He was just saying that to ease her conscience. If that was a possibility, he wouldn’t have obsessed so much about his decision.
Still, there was nothing wrong with hoping, even if it was illogical.
Not that any of it made sense. If sexual drive was such a powerful force, then monks and nuns would have been performing miracles throughout history.
Except, what if they had? Maybe not all of the stories had been fabrications and exaggerations?
“You are still frowning,” Yamanu said. “Not convinced yet?”
She sighed. “I was thinking about all the monks and nuns and how abstinence hasn’t made them miracle workers. But then I thought that maybe some of those stories were actually true.”
Yamanu rubbed a hand over his jaw. “There might be something to it. But comparing human sex drive to that of immortals is like comparing the engine of a motorcycle to that of a jet fighter. The harnessed energy is limited, and therefore can power much less.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Sex wasn’t among the superpowers you mentioned before.”
“Given the circumstances, there was no point in bringing it up.” He scratched at his stubble. “But now that I think of it, maybe it’s not a good idea for me to stop drinking the potion cold turkey. Maybe I should just lower the dosage. I don’t want to unleash the beast while you are still human. He’s way too hungry and dangerous.”
Yamanu was probably exaggerating. Nevertheless, the idea of him turning into a ravenous beast wasn’t frightening. It was arousing.
46
Yamanu
As the scent of Mey’s arousal flared, causing a parallel stirring in Yamanu, he realized that she couldn’t possibly grasp the difference between human and immortal sex drive, probably because he hadn’t explained it.
Instead of dumping the information on her all at once, Yamanu had expected to elaborate when she asked questions. He would have clarified his beast comment, revealing one thing at a time and easing her into it.
Mey wasn’t the type who scared easily, but she was still human. He wasn’t sure how she would react to the news flash that not only was he thrice as strong as a human male, but he also didn’t need time to recuperate between one climax to the next.
Before, when Yamanu had occasionally fantasized about breaking his vow, he’d envisioned booking the entire staff of an escort service for a couple of weeks and going through them one or two at a time.
That way, he could have his fill without exhausting or harming anyone.
Mey shifted in his arms and smiled coyly. “Breaking your vow is even more monumental than a virgin’s wedding night. It should be one hell of a celebration, and it shouldn’t be watered down by drugs.” Her eyes widened. “I have an idea…”
He put a finger on her lips. “Hold that thought.” Scenting the surge in Mey’s desire for him, Yamanu loathed tamping down her excitement, but she needed to understand that he hadn’t been exaggerating or boasting like a human might. “Before you get all excited, you should know what you’re dealing with, and why I can never let go with you while you are still a human.”
Her smirk confirmed his suspicion that she wasn’t taking his warning seriously. “I’m not afraid of you, Yamanu. You might be big and strong and really starved for sex, but I’m big and strong as well.” She kissed the underside of his jaw. “You’ve chosen your mate wisely.”
Hearing Mey refer to herself as his mate warmed Yamanu’s heart. It meant that she believed it and accepted the reality of their bond. But referring to herself as big and strong was laughable.
Not that he was going to comment on that. Mey might take offense.
He kissed her forehead. “If anyone should get credit for the wise choice, it’s the Fates. They put us in each other’s paths. All we deserve credit for is not ignoring their gentle nudge.”
Mey snorted. “Gentle? Meeting you was like getting hit by a bolt of lightning. When I gave Alena my business card, I had an ulterior motive. I knew that I had to see you again.” She frowned. “I was so disappointed when you didn’t come out to meet me. I thought that you were not interested.”
“The reason I stayed in my room was that I was way too interested. My reaction to you was just as potent as yours was to me, and if not for the potion tamping down my primal urges, I might have thrown you over my shoulder and run off with you.”
Mey laughed. “I would have put up token resistance, just so you wouldn’t think me easy, but I would have been smiling all the way to your lair.”
He was flattered, but she still wasn’t taking his warning seriously.
“Before we get sidetracked again, I need to tell you a few things about immortal sex, and why I think a gradual weaning off the potion is necessary. It’s not just my strength that I’m worried about, although this is a major consideration as well. I’m at least three times stronger than a human male my size. Immortal males need practically no recuperating time before they can go again, and they are usually not satisfied with one or two rounds.”
He stopped there, letting the information sink in.
Given how long he had abstained and how much he wanted Mey, he could probably go for an entire week until he had his fill. Even an immortal female could not withstand that. A human, well, it was a no.
Mey nodded. “I get what you’re trying to say. But I trust you, Yamanu. You will never do anything to harm me, and I know you will stop the moment you realize that I've had enough. The thing is, the potion numbs you, and I don’t want you to be numb for our first time together.”
“I don’t know about that.” Yamanu went back to rubbing slow circles on Mey’s back. “I’ve never hurt a woman, during sex or otherwise, but after all this time, I’m not sure how much self-control I have. The potion will give me peace of mind.”
She shook her head. “No way. I’d rather chain you to the bed than have you drugged.” She smirked. “A
kinky wedding night.”
So far, Mey had mentioned a wedding night twice. Was that a hint?
The goddess was in the village, so he could probably arrange for a quick, private ceremony. But the problem was that there was still a small chance that Mey wasn’t a Dormant, and he couldn’t pledge himself to her before that was determined, or better yet, she transitioned.
Still, they could make it special without a formal ceremony.
Maybe an engagement?
The gods used to have those, humans still did, so why not introduce a new tradition to the clan?
Since finding mates was a recent phenomenon, the clan was still in the process of developing the traditions surrounding the mated bond. So far, every wedding had been different, and some couples had opted not to have one at all.
None had bothered with an engagement, though.
Should he and Mey be the first?
Except, he was pretty sure a ring was required, and he didn’t have one. What else did he need?
Mey cupped his cheek. “Are you still thinking about my proposal? Because I was joking. I don’t want you tied up any more than I want you drugged. I’m an old-fashioned kind of girl, and I like my man to take the lead in bed.” She smiled sheepishly. “But if you need reassurances that you are not going to kill me with too much sex, you can give me one of those taser guns you guys used on the Doomers. Wonder told me how effective they are. I can put it under the pillow in case the beast refuses to be tamed by words alone.”
Yamanu was sure that Mey had been joking again, but that was actually not a bad idea.
47
Mey
Giddy with excitement, Mey had come up with one absurd idea after another, but even though her suggestions hadn’t been serious, she really didn’t want Yamanu to be drugged anymore.