We Fight, We Fall

by Nicole Callesto

  “Do you know how perfect you are? You’re even better than I thought you could be, Emma. I’m going to kiss and touch every inch of you. And when I’m done making you struggle, you’re going to come in my mouth.” I start breathing deeply, silently agreeing with him. I’ve never been talked to that way before. He’s so sure of himself. The other guys I’ve been with were skilled, but not in the way he is. He drives me crazy just with his words. Usually I’m the one to talk dirty, but I have a feeling that the only thing I will be doing is stringing together unintellectual praises.

  I don’t respond to him, because there’s nothing more to say. He can tell how excited I am for him by the way my body is reacting to his touch. He starts to kiss my neck, sucking and nibbling. I shiver with anticipation, goose bumps breaking out across my skin. He moves down my chest and touches my breasts with his hand. His fingers are so calloused and rough, probably from playing that guitar I saw at his house. He pinches them lightly, just like in the shower, making them hard as a rock. Almost immediately he moves his mouth to them, like a moth to a flame. He starts sucking them, swirling his tongue all around. He stops, to my dismay, and I open my eyes to peek down at him. His mouth is swollen and red, his eyes almost opaque.

  “I can’t wait much longer. I have to see you, Emma. I want you to spread your legs for me, and put your feet flat on the bed.” It was a demand, but a sweet one. He’s looks at me, waiting for an okay to continue.

  “Ok, Aiden.” Damn, I seem breathless already. I’m so nervous for him to see me this way. Thank God I shaved earlier! I do as Aiden says, and he slowly moves down my body. I can see him looking at me with excitement.

  “Do you know how beautiful your pussy is, Emma?” I smile, relieved that he likes what he sees. Whew!

  “That seems to be the overwhelming response” I say seductively. He looks up at me, eyes blazing. Oh God, what have I done now?! I was just trying to be funny. I guess comedy in the boudoir doesn’t work for him.

  He grabs onto to my ankles. “Don’t ever talk about the other men you’ve been with. You’re mine now. Do you understand?” I’m nervous now and a little turned on. Who am I kidding? I’m dripping wet. He’s possessive and domineering already.

  I think he realizes how he sounded and doesn’t want me to get upset. Before I can respond to him, he dives in between my legs, his tongue piercing me. Holy shit! He’s practically spearing me in two with his tongue. He seizes my ass in his hands and the heels of my feet land on his shoulders. With his tongue so deep inside of me, I can barely catch my breath and get used to the invasion. He doesn’t stop his pace; it’s fast and hard just like I like it. He starts to suck and gently bite my clit. How the fuck is he so good at this?! Probably lots of practice, I guess. Man- slut, I mentally laugh to myself. Not that I’m complaining of course. I don’t care where the fuck he learned it, because I’m now the lucky one reaping the benefits.

  I realize how loud I’m being, and I clamp my hand over my mouth to shut myself up. He stops what he’s doing and looks at me. “I told you to be as loud as you want. Do you know what that does to me? I’m so fucking hard right now, just listening to you.” I immediately unclamp my hand. I don’t care if anybody in the motel hears me screaming. Whatever Aiden wants, Aiden gets.

  I start to feel a deep pressure building within me, and I know how close I am to coming. I relax my entire body and let the orgasm flow through me, into his mouth. I start chanting his name, over and over, and try to get away from his tongue. It feels too good. Too good? Is that even possible? He refuses to let me go, punishing me with his tongue as he swallows all of me. He’s starts moaning too, and when I finally stop shaking, he releases his hold on me.

  I slowly crack open my eyes and watch him crawl up the bed, collapsing next to me. He kisses me deeply, and I can taste myself on him. Could this get any sexier? Highly doubtful.

  “Fuck, Emma. That was the best thing I’ve ever tasted.” Ok, it got even sexier. I start to reach down to touch him and return the favor, but he grabs my arm.

  “Baby, I appreciate you thinking of me, but not tonight. It’s too soon for that.” I start to pout, but he grabs my chin and forces me look at him.

  “The reason why I wouldn’t let you look at me in the shower, is the same reason why we can’t have sex yet. Emma…Fuck! I hate talking about this shit. There are things about my body that I’m uncomfortable with you seeing. I’ve been in some, let’s say, unfortunate accidents, and my body isn’t in the perfect shape. I want to be with you in every way possible, but I just need to prepare you. You might be disgusted by what you see.” He looks so ashamed and alone now. He actually believes that I could be turned off by him? I have to reassure him that nothing will prevent me from being with him.

  “Nothing about you would disgust me. You could have an extra testical or a third nipple for God’s sake, and I would still want you. Trust me on this. I want to see every inch of your body and feel every part of you inside of me. You are the sexiest man that I have ever seen, if you want the truth. I’ve never been attracted to someone this much,” I say biting my lip. There, maybe that helps his unease a little bit.

  He looks so shocked by my words. I hope he believes them, because they were said with sincerity.

  “Emma, every time I think you can’t get any more incredible, you do. Thank you.” He looks genuinely pleased by my confession, and I want him to stay that way. I want to make him smile like that all of the time. Shit, I’m trouble now. Are you actually caring about someone again, Emma? Bad move, bitch. Before I can dwell on my new unfortunate feelings, he interrupts my thoughts.

  “Stay with me.” Huh, what is he talking about? He sees my quizzical expression.

  “Come to my house and stay with me.” I start to tell him that he’s out of his fucking mind, but he interrupts me. “Just until you find your own place of course. I don’t want you staying in this motel. I wouldn’t feel right leaving you here all by yourself. I think I saw a roach run across the floor earlier.” My eyes pop out of my head, and I jump on top of him.

  “Roach? Where?!” I screech looking around the room frantically. Does he know that bugs, especially roaches, are my ultimate fear? I hear a choking sound and then, “Fuck, Emma.” I look up at him and see that I’ve grabbed onto his neck too tightly. I’ve been cutting off his air supply, trying to get away from any impending roach attacks. I release my death-like grip and hear him laughing, trying to catch his breath.

  “Baby, you almost killed me. I didn’t think that would freak you out as much as it did. I was only kidding. I never saw a roach. I just wanted to convince you to come and stay with me. Fuck!” he says laughing, rubbing his red throat. Damn, I really did a number on him. I hope I don’t leave fingerprints behind. It would be a shame to mutilate his skin.

  I get off of him, embarrassed that I was practically climbing him like a tree. I start laughing too, realizing how ridiculous my reaction was. I playfully slap Aiden for his cruel joke. “Jerk! Fuck you, Aiden,” I say trying not to smirk. I contemplate his offer and let it sink into my brain. Wow, this is all moving so fast. I just got here a day ago. I have a new job and a kind-of boyfriend who wants me to live with him. Shit just got real. Instead of telling him no, I shock the hell out of myself.

  “How will I get to work, Aiden? The bar is just across the street from here, and it’s a long-ass bus ride from your house.” There, hopefully that settles that.

  “I’ll drive you to and from work, and wherever else you need to go. I’m taking a hiatus from work at the moment. I just have a few places that I need to be from time to time.” Great, he has an answer for everything. Wait, I forgot one more thing.

  “What about your dad? You said that it’s his place. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be okay with some strange women shacking up with his son.” Ha, beat that Aiden. He looks uncomfortable now, and I’m already sorry I said anything.

  “My old man died two months ago, Emma. He left the house to me. So it really is his house, but
I guess technically its mine now.” Oh, Aiden. I just had to put my fucking foot in my mouth.

  “I’m sorry, Aiden. I’m just…sorry.” Nice save, Emma. You really have a way with words.

  “It’s okay. You didn’t know. We weren’t close, so it wasn’t too much of a disappointment actually,” he says with a tight smile. Damn, I can only imagine what kind of relationship they had if that’s how he feels about his death.

  “Please just say yes. Maybe if you’re a good girl, I’ll even let you have your way with me tomorrow,” he says with a hopeful smile on his face. How can I say no to that? I’m not even remotely susceptible to his charm.

  “Ok, but we get one thing cleared up before we leave.” This has been bugging me, and I should’ve resolved this much earlier. He looks nervous now. Jeez, calm down, Aiden. It’s nothing bad.

  “How old are you?” I ask him. He looks hesitant, probably thinking that he’s generations older than me.

  “Twenty-eight,” he says cringing. Whew! So he’s around the age I thought he was.

  “Well, just so you know, I’m only four years younger than that,” I say with a satisfactory smile. He looks like he doesn’t believe me, so I go to my purse to prove it.

  “See,” I say proudly as I hand him my ID card. He was worrying for nothing.

  “Fuck, I’m such an idiot! All this time I thought you were just out of high school. I felt like the biggest pervert. Why didn’t you say anything earlier?!” he says frustrated.

  “Well, for one, you kept insulting me, rubbing salt in my wounds. And two, I didn’t think that anything would happen between us. You royally pissed me the fuck off. I would have thought you could have realized my age, by the way I talked and reacted to you. That and the fact that I work in a bar now,” I reply to him.

  “Well, I guess I never factored in you working at the bar. And age has nothing to do with seduction. It’s all about experience,” he mumbles. Is he talking about an old flame? Great, now I’m the one seeing the green-eyed monster. I frown, just wanting to forget that unfortunate comment.

  “Let me just pack up my stuff and check out of the hotel, ok?” He finally looks up out of his daze. Please don’t be having bad memories, Aiden. Everything was going so well.

  “Ok, baby. I’ll just be outside on the bike waiting for you.” He walks up to me, grabbing my chin in his hand and presses his lips to mine. He snakes his tongue inside of my mouth, and I moan. He starts to pull away, and I grab onto his lower lip with my teeth and suck on it. He groans and pushes me up against the front door.

  “You better stop doing that, Emma. I don’t want to fuck you against the wall of this motel. We’ll be on my bed when I’m finally inside of you, and you’ll love every second of it. I’ll make you beg me for more.” I feel the hard length of him against my stomach and realize how difficult it must be for him to hold back. I know he’s not comfortable with the whole sex thing yet, so I respect that and gently retreat from him.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that. I’ll be a good girl,” I say sweetly.

  “I think I’m discovering that you could never be a good girl, Emma. And that’s just how I like it.” He laughs and walks out the door. Ok, deep breath, Emma. God, he affects me like no one else has. I feel like he’s been acting differently ever since we talked about things. He’s more funny and carefree around me, and I think I’m starting to see the real man underneath. I really like this new side of him that’s been revealed. I just hope he continues to open up to me, sharing more secrets about himself.

  I shove all of my stuff into my bag and run out the door. I see Aiden on his bike, and I wave to him, letting him know I’ll be back soon. I quickly check out at the front desk, eagerly wanting to be near him again.

  I walk over to his bike and see a second helmet on the backseat. It’s all black except for a pink stripe going right down the middle of it. I reach out to touch its shiny coat and notice all of the amazing detail. I’m no expert on bike helmets, but this looks fucking expensive.

  “What’s this, Aiden?” I ask curiously. He looks at me embarrassed and clears his throat. “Yeah, so I might have gotten you a helmet today. You know, for safety. I…I hope you like it.” God, he’s so cute and thoughtful. I don’t want to make a big deal about it and make him feel uncomfortable by his gift. It’s fucking amazing that he thought of me, though.

  “You were that sure of yourself, huh? Thinking that I’d want to ride on your bike again; how conceited,” I say arching my eyebrow. He relaxes his creased forehead. “It’s not conceited if I knew how this night would end.” God, this man is so sexy.

  I put on my helmet, that’s right, my helmet and get on the back of his bike. I wrap my arms around his chest, lacing my fingers together, like I feel I’ve done a million times already. He starts the engine, and before we take off, he grabs my hand and kisses the inside veins of my wrist, and then the other one. Shit, I’m already in the deep end with this man. I’m practically drowning, gasping for air. Stupid, stupid!

  Chapter 5

  We get to his house, and he helps me off of the bike. We take off our helmets and both look at each other, cracking up after our examination of each other. It seems like we both suffer from the same case of helmet hair.

  “Ha! Nice hair, Aiden. So sexy,” I say as I shake my hand through his hair. He reaches out to touch my hair return.

  “I like your new hair by the way. I should’ve told you earlier. It’s the exact opposite of what you had before, though. Any motivation for the sudden change?” he asks. Shit, I really don’t want to admit to him why I cut my hair. That’s something girls do when they just get out of a relationship or something. I hope he doesn’t think that’s why I did it; even though it kind of is.

  “I just needed a change, I guess. Got kind of tired of being manhandled by guys recently, so I thought the short hair would keep them away.” I try to say jokingly. He looks over at me frowning.

  “God, Emma. You sure know how to make a guy feel like shit,” he says turning away from me. I didn’t mean it to come out that way. But I can’t admit to him that I was so fucking pissed and made an emotional decision to chop off my hair.

  “Aiden, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. I just thought it was a good time for a change, that’s all. Can we please just go inside and forget I ever said anything?” I say pleadingly. I just want us to have a good night.

  He turns around, looking down at me with determination in his eyes. Right when I think he’s going to agree, he grabs my waist, crushing my body against his. He doesn’t kiss me, but this is just as good as if he were. He leans his forward against mine. “I will never hurt you again, not even unintentionally if I can help it. It kills me to hear that I had a part in that decision. I know you won’t admit that was reason you did it, and that’s ok. Just try to trust me. I meant what I said. I want more than anything to make you happy,” he whispers.

  I look up into his eyes and see how desperately he wants me to believe him. I know he means what he says, but things just aren’t that easy. Trust is hard to earn and equally difficult to uphold. He will hurt me; it’s just a matter of time. I know this, but the idiot inside of me is just screaming to take a chance on this man. No matter the cost.

  “I believe you. And…I’m ready to trust you, too.” That was hard for me to say. Maybe if I say it enough times, I’ll believe it.

  He slips his hands off of my waist and grabs my hand in his. He smiles down at me, leading me into the house behind him. When we get inside, I drop my bag on the floor next to the front door.

  “Are you hungry or thirsty? I don’t have much here, but hopefully I can find something for you,” he says to me.

  “Maybe some coffee with cream and sugar?” I say smirking. I’m remembering the pot of coffee and note I left for him this morning. God, was I just here this morning? The time has gone by like a bullet.

  I walk over to the kitchen and see something on the refrigerator catch my eye. If I’m not mistaken, I�
�d have to say that it’s my infamous letter. It looks like it was crumpled and then flattened out again; very interesting. What’s it doing here? It’s being displayed like its’ some kids’ artwork, put up by a proud parent. He sees me looking at it and smiles sheepishly, creasing his dimples.

  “I liked the note you wrote. I won’t lie; it made me mad as hell but then I thought, hey, this might be the only memento I’ll have of her. I put it up and went to go find you. I was going to grovel this morning, but you left before I even woke up,” he says ashamed, rubbing his neck roughly. “I spent the day playing mediocre detective. It wasn’t too difficult when I spotted you at Leo’s. I was worried you’d be mad to see me, so I just hung back and watched you work. I went over to the motel right before you got off and waited for you.” So that was who I felt watching me! Thank God it was him and not some bar weirdo. I involuntarily smile, feeling flattered that he went to all of that trouble to find me. I don’t want to embarrass him, so I just nod and brush off his explanation.

  “Let me just get my stuff settled in the guest room, and I’ll be right out,” I say, as I start to go and grab my bag. He rushes over to me and grabs my arms.

  “Wait a minute. There’s no way you’re staying in the guest room. You’ll sleep with me while you’re here. I mean…if that’s ok with you,” he rushes out. I’m inwardly blushing from my tips to the roots of my hair. It’s nice to feel so wanted by him; different but nice.

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to get in the way,” I say hesitating. I have a feeling he hasn’t occupied the same space with somebody else for a while. I don’t want him to be uncomfortable. I also know he’s hiding things from me; more than just his body. I don’t know how he expects to keep things in the dark if we wake up together every morning.