by Cameron Jace
“Brilliant plan, Margaret,” the Queen said. “I thought you were dumb. But you turned out to be a little better than that. Rather stupid, which is way better than dumb.”
“Thank you, My Queen.” Margaret wasn’t going to comment. Like always, she sucked in all the humiliation until she got what she wanted. “But that’s not just it.”
“What could you have possibly done better than getting the keys from Alice by sending her to the future?”
“The fact that only I control the aspects of this plan, My Queen.”
The Queen stopped feeding her dogs. She spat out the bone broth at them. The poor pets moaned and lowered their chins to the floor. “What do you mean, Margaret?”
“I mean the keys will be delivered to me, not you, My Queen.” Margaret tried not to snicker or smile. When doing business, a poker face was her mask.
“I’m not sure I heard you well.”
“No, you did,” Margaret said, hands laced before her. “And I’m not going to repeat myself.”
“Holy Lords of Wonderland.” The Queen sighed. “Are you blackmailing me?”
“Who said I’m blackmailing you, My Majesty?”
“You said the keys will be delivered only to you, and not to me.”
“That’s right, but it doesn’t mean I will not deliver them to you.”
“I’m paradoxically, nonsensically, unexplainably confused.”
Because you are dumb little thing. “Why so, My Queen? I will deliver you the keys, under one condition.”
“You are blackmailing me.”
“I wouldn’t call it that. Think of it as a small employee in a large company asking for a raise in exchange for the things they do and never take credit for.”
“It’s still blackmail.” The Queen chewed on a nut. “So you want a raise?”
I want to be the queen, but it’s too soon to bring that to the table. “No. I don’t want a raise.”
“It’s Mary Go Round all over again. You’re blackmailing me, but you’re not blackmailing me. You want a raise but you don’t want a raise. A puzzle?”
“Not at all.” Margaret took a single step forward. “I will give you the keys if you give me what I want.”
“Which is?”
“You know what I want.”
The Queen dropped her nut. She finally got it.
“I want what you have taken from me.” Margaret’s eyes moistened, although she’d sworn to hold back her emotions. “I want what made me become your tool for so many years. It’s time you bring it back.”
“You know I don’t want to give that back to you.” The Queen stared at her from top to bottom.
“But it’s mine. Not yours.”
“I believe things are only yours if you have them.” The Queen smiled flatly. “How can they be yours if you don’t?”
“They were mine once.”
“But they aren’t now. See the logic?”
“Then you get no keys.” Margaret collected herself and took a step back. “And you know what I can do with them.”
“I don’t think you know what the keys are for, Margaret,” the Queen said. “And you know I can chop your head off right now.” She glanced at her bowl of bone broth on the table. “How I’d love to drink your brain in that bowl.”
“Suit yourself.” Margaret turned and walked to the door.
“Wait.” Margaret didn’t turn and face the Queen so she’d keep up the tension. “I will give you what you want, but you must know you will be my enemy then.”
“I understand.”
“I hurt my enemies bad, Margaret.”
“I’ve witnessed that.”
“As you wish,” the Queen chirped. “What’s wrong with getting the keys in exchange for this stupid thing you want from me?” she mumbled. “Bring me the keys. You get what you want.”
“Thank you,” Margaret said, and walked out to the hallway, her chin up. She mustered her Duchess face as she dealt with all kinds of businesses.
A few moments later, she took the elevator, waited until she was alone, and began crying her heart out.
Chapter 9
SOMEWHERE IN THE FUTURE
I am standing clueless in the most surreal situation you can imagine, trapped in my future self, and staring at my future daughter. Oh my God, I just noticed her hair is a replica of mine. And her walk reminds of myself. I’m going to cry bubblegum tears right now.
“Mummy, we’re late,” she says. “Have you slept in again?”
I kneel to the floor and open my arms, wanting her to jump into them. Instead, she stares at me, as if I am a loon. Then I realize I don’t even know her name.
“What’s wrong with you, Mummy?” she says. “Did you take your pills?”
“Pills? Huh,” I say, not caring about pills. “How about you come into Mummy’s arms?”
“Ooofff.” She stomps her feet and blows out a long sigh, showing her bubbly cheeks. “All right.”
She approaches me, and my heartbeat is like a freight train. Then she slowly throws herself into my arms. I squeeze her so tight. I can’t help it. Tears squeeze out of my eyes. This feels so good. So illegally good.
“Mummy, you’re choking me,” she says. “What’s wrong with you today?” She slides herself away and stares into my eyes. “Do you want me to tell Dad to drive me to school?”
“Dad?” I raise an eyebrow. Is it Jack? Really? It must be Jack. She has those light dimples in her cheeks. It must be Jack.
Then another voice calls from the hallway. Not that of an adult. Another kid. A boy.
“Lily!” the boy calls. “Where are you? I need to go.”
“Lily?” I stare at my daughter.
“Yes, Lily, Mum. It’s not like I chose the name.”
“Lily is a nice name,” I say. I love it, actually.
“Yeah, so you say.” She rolls her eyes. “At least it’s a better than Tiger.” She points at the boy, a little older, standing by the door.
“Tiger?” I stare at him.
“Yes, Tiger,” she mumbles. “Hey, Tiger. Come meet Mum.”
“Thanks, I’ve seen her before.” Tiger giggles.
“Because she acts like she hasn’t seen us before.”
“Then she didn’t take her meds,” Tiger says.
I am at a loss for words, staring at my cute kids and experiencing something I’ve never thought of before. Hell, I haven’t even experienced being married. And frankly, I thought a girl who was out there to save the world wasn’t going to fall in love and have kids, ever.
But wait. Tiger and Lily? Is that why my plant in my cell means so much to me? Does this mean I have been into the future before?
“She is in a daze,” Tiger says. “Let’s get Dad to drive us to school.”
“No.” I stand up. “I will drive you to school.” It’s my responsibility, isn’t it? “Have you had breakfast yet?”
Both stare at me as if I am an alien.
“Did I say something wrong?” I say.
“You never make us breakfast,” Lily says.
“Oh.” I rub my chin. “That was a bad mum. Not from now on.”
Tiger and Lily burst out laughing.
“Dad won’t believe this.” Lily says.
And then Dad calls. He sounds like he is down in the foyer or something. My room is on the second floor. And he says, “Baby, are you awake yet?”
Suddenly, and upon hearing his voice, I realize I don’t want to see him.
Chapter 10
The man calling me baby isn’t Jack. That’s not his voice. I’ve never heard it before. No, I can’t meet him. That’s like a big spoiler for the movie of my life. I don’t want to know the man I am going to marry. I don’t mind my children. They are the blood that runs in my veins. I don’t mind meeting them now. But not the boy who will become a man I will fall in love with. I will have a boring love life this way when I get back.
“Listen.” I kneel down. “How about we make it a surprise to Dad, the fact that
I am making you breakfast? Let’s not see him now.”
“What do you want us to do?” Tiger says.
“Let’s leave through the back stairs. Get into my car. I have a car, right?”
“If you call your fancy rabbit-looking vehicle a car.” Tiger rolls his eyes.
“Okay.” I nod. “I will drive you to school, buy breakfast on the way, and then I’ll come back and meet Dad. Then I will cook you the best dinner you can gorge on when you come back.”
“I want marshmallow tarts,” Lily says.
“I can do that.” I have no idea what that is.
“Laughing Jelly Sticks, too?” Lily adds.
“Of course.”
“You’re the best, Mum.” She hugs me again.
“You want something special, Tiger?” I say.
“I just want to see you cook, for real,” he says. “That’d make my day.”
“Awesome.”
“Awesome?” Tiger squints, as if he’s starting to suspect I’m not his mother. “Who says awesome anymore?”
“What should I say?”
“Frabjous,” Lily squeaks.
“Ah.” I forgot we won the Wonderland War. “Frabjous. Now any idea how we could sneak out without Dad seeing us?”
“You’re the boss, Mum,” he says. “That’s your problem.”
“Of course,” I say, unsure what my next move will be.
There is a man who calls me baby climbing up the stairs. My eyes veer toward the window again. Then to the bedsheets. Then back to my children. “How about we climb out the window?”
“Wow!” Tiger says. “You’re seriously the coolest mum in the Great Republic of Wonderland.”
Chapter 11
I roll the sheets into a rope and dangle it down the window. Lily climbs on my back and wraps her tiny arms around my neck. Tiger holds me from the front, head on my bosom, arms wrapped around my back. We climb down, and I am surprised at my athletic physique. I must have trained well throughout the war. Chubby but strong.
Midway, the rope starts waving left and right, like a pendulum.
“Like Tarzan!” Tiger chirps.
“No, like Rapunzel,” Lily insists.
“Like the worst mother ever,” I say.
Finally, we hit the ground. My husband’s voice is calling for me upstairs. He must be in my room now. And soon he’ll see the dangling rope.
I let my children guide me to my car. It’s around the corner from the fabulous garden. I still can’t believe I’m living luxuriously in this future. Did someone compensate me that well for killing monsters and saving lives?
Tiger points at what looks like a vehicle, draped in a large white cover. It’s parked in a garage full of pink roses, covered with a pergola of green leaves.
Surreal.
I uncover it, and there is one funny-looking car underneath it. It looks like a modified Corvette, redesigned into the shape of a rabbit. The front is the rabbit’s nose, mouth, and chin, stretched out to serve as a car, a convertible with custom-made backseats. The back is the rabbit’s ass.
“Is this my car?”
“Come on, Mum.” Lily pulls me by the hand. “We’ve wanted you to take us for a ride in it since forever.”
“Okay.” I shake my shoulders. “Jump in.”
They do. I get into the driver’s seat. There are no keys. There is a button that says ‘Push Me.’
I push and the car stirs into existence. My kids cheer behind me, ready for a ride.
“Mrs. Alice!”
I hear someone call me. Not my husband. Another voice. Familiar.
“It’s Mr. Jittery. Our neighbor!” Lily says. “He designed the garden.”
I turn and watch the March Hare stepping toward me. He is in his pajamas, and wears a nightcap on his head. He looks much older now.
The kids greet him and play with him for a moment. This is the first of my friends that I’ve seen in this fabulous future. I have so many questions for him.
“Good morning, Mrs. Alice,” the March Hare says.
“Mrs. Alice?” I squint.
He dismisses my inquiry and hands me an envelope. “I thought I’d give you this back.”
I take the envelope. It has pictures of six keys on a chain on the back. It doesn’t look like there are keys inside.
“Thank you.” I lean forward and whisper, “So we won the war?”
The March’s ears stand erect. His eyes widen. It’s the same look he had when I first met him in the asylum called the Hole.
“What is it? Aren’t you happy?” I say. “We won the Wonderland War.”
The March’s face turns red. His eyes roll sideways and upward.
I pull him closer to me. “Don’t tell me you still have the light bulb in your head?”
“What light bulb?” He manages a weird smile that I can’t interpret.
“Come on, Mum.” Lily taps me on the shoulder. “We’re late for school.”
I realize children come first, and decide I will talk with the March later. “Okay. But you lead the way,” I tell my children, and hit the pedal.
“Bye, Mr. Jittery!” Lily waves.
“I know the way.” Tiger hugs the back of the passenger seat and begins to guide me into the fantabulous world of the future.
Chapter 12
I push the radio button while driving in this rich and luxurious neighborhood I live in. There is a song playing on the radio. It has this line, ‘the future is so bright, I gotta wear shades.’
All houses are family homes, the bright colors of rainbows. Roses are everywhere. Lily greets a few people on the way. Families and their kids in silly-looking cars like mine. Whenever someone greets me, I nod and pretend I know them.
At some point I miss Tiger’s directions and detour into a left. It’s a one-way road. Narrow. It looks abandoned. The more I drive into it, the more roses disappear. There is a gate at the end.
“Okay, I’m lost,” I tell Tiger, but he doesn’t answer me.
I look in the mirror and see him and Lily are scared out of their minds. So scared Tiger can’t tell me how to turn around and get back on track.
“What’s wrong?”
“You shouldn’t be driving this way,” Tiger says.
“Yeah, I know. I missed the turn,” I say. “Can you tell me how to get back?”
“He is scared,” Lily says, looking as scared. “I think you have to drive over the grass here. That’ll be breaking the law, but it’s the only way back.”
“That’s silly,” I say while following her suggestion. “Why isn’t there a way back?”
“Because everyone knows you don’t drive near this place.” Tiger tenses.
I decide not to ask them while they’re scared. So I begin to entertain them by singing along with a song that I don’t know on the radio. It takes some time, but finally they ease up once we’re closer to their school.
“We’ve arrived!” Lily raises her hands as I slow down at the school’s curb.
It puzzles me how my children are so happy about going to school. I don’t think that’s the norm. But hey, we won the war. This must be the heaven version of the future.
Tiger gives me a kiss on my cheek and jumps out of the car. He meets up with his friends, looking like the leader of the tribe. Lily hugs me dearly. She gets out slowly, looking a bit shy. The first one to greet her is at the school’s door. Her teacher.
Gripping the wheel, I feel worried about my little girl. I am not sure if I should do something about it. This is the future. I am going to be back within an hour. But God, it just doesn’t feel right not to know why Lily is a bit introverted.
I watch her enter the building, reminding myself of the mission I am here for. I open the envelope, which is my only clue to the whereabouts of the keys. Inside, there is nothing but a piece of paper with an address.
An address I recognize immediately. St. Aldates Street. I am supposed to go to Oxford University.
I think it’s my own handwriting scribbl
ed at the bottom. It says:
Find the Mock Turtle. He knows where the keys are.
So the way to the Six Keys is to go to Oxford University and find the Mock Turtle. Not the soup, of course.
I remember a brief appearance for such a character by that name in Lewis Carroll’s books. He is the one who actually tells Alice he called his teacher tortoise because he ‘taught us.’
I turn around, aiming to find my way to Oxford University. I wonder if it looks as fluffy and wonderful as my neighborhood.
As I drive, I keep thinking about the note. It escapes me how and why I’d have written this note in the future. Did I know I was coming? Did I come here before, and left myself a clue?
Time traveling is even more mind-boggling than the secrets of Wonderland.
Lost in the neighborhood, I decide to make it back to the March Hare and have a lengthy conversation with him. That’d be the right start.
I come across that scary street again. And being me, I can’t help it. I am curious.
I detour again, driving along, looking left and right. It’s a dim-looking street, but not really scary. I keep driving until I reach the gate. I wonder how it opens. Maybe this is the way to the university.
I get out of the car and walk to the gate. There is a single red button on the right wall of the gate. It says: Don’t push this button.
It seems that, even after we won the war, the nonsensical never stopped. Why is there a button if I shouldn’t push it?
But I do. I am curious.
The gate opens slowly. And a timer appears on the wall. Sixty seconds. I assume it’s the time the gate stays open.
Jumping back in my rabbit car, I hit the accelerator and gun it throughout the gate.
And it’s only seconds before I see the horror and understand what’s really happening in the future.