by Amy Brent
“I hope so. It’s my mom’s recipe,” Brett told me as I looked at him in surprise. He didn’t seem like a mama’s boy to me. He sliced a few thin slices of the meat and loaded it onto my plate before I helped myself to the vegetables and picked up my fork. I tasted a potato and tried to determine what the spices were as I frowned. I took a bit of the meat and ate the same thing and chewed carefully as he looked at me in amusement. “Like it?”
“It’s unique. Delicious. What am I tasting?” I asked him as our eyes locked across the table for a long moment before he sipped his drink.
“It’s a family secret,” Brett teased me as I raised an eyebrow and picked up a carrot with my fork. I had a memory of his face between my legs, tasting me with his tongue deep inside of me as I gripped his hair and stammered his name, making me blink as the silverware clattered on the table. My hands were shaking, and I grabbed the wine and drank a large sip. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve been crying.” Brett observed as I pressed my lips together.
A tear slid down my cheek as I sniffled and he leaned forward. “I…seeing you brought back memories of that night, something that started as a way to forget about my asshole ex and turned into everything I didn’t think it would be. I’d let it go until dinner that night and the way that I dealt with it was sleeping with my best friend at my apartment that night.”
“You’re bi?” Brett asked with a dark look in his eyes as I laughed and shook my head.
“Guy best friend,” I corrected as he nodded. “It was pretty good, and I knew that I fucked up the following morning. I crossed a line that I shouldn’t have.”
“So why not see him as more than a friend?” Brett asked as I looked at him.
“I was just confused that night. I was a hot mess,” I confessed as I took another drink of wine and wiped at my tears. “I still am, I suppose.”
Brett stepped up and walked over as he offered me his hand. I stared at him as I took it and felt him pull me into his arms. I sensed a sweet concern in this gesture, but there was an underlying heat that was hard to deny for me as I let out my breath and wrapped my arms around his neck. “You’re not a mess, you’re beautiful.” His voice was low in my ear, and I shivered as his hand moved down my back. “This is so fucking wrong, Larisa but I can’t help but to want you.”
CHAPTER 6
I slid my hands into his hair and closed my eyes as I pulled. Brett groaned, and I moved away just enough to finish the wine before I looked at him. “I’m already in hell so why the fuck not?” I hated myself as I kissed Brett, my stepfather. I felt like the worst daughter but I was suffering inside, and I wanted it to stop. My need for Cole blended with the memories that I had of Brett as he pulled against him and returned the kiss. His tongue met mine as he lifted me onto the table and gripped my ass.
Everything about the night came back to mind as I wrapped my legs around him and tilted my head to deepen things. Brett pressed against the seam of my jeans, and I remembered how well he filled me as I rocked against him. “Oh, God. Why did you have to be hers?” Brett mumbled against my lips before he kissed me again and moved against me as I felt shame filling my body.
I pushed away thoughts of my mom and pulled myself up as Brett stumbled for a moment. He dropped me back on the table and pulled away as he took a ragged breath. “What the fuck? I didn’t plan this,” he stared at me with his intense eyes before he downed his drink in one gulp. “I knew there was a connection with you that night, but we left things in that hotel room. But you’re here again and I…” Brett walked into the kitchen and poured more whiskey as the phone on the counter rang. He walked over and stared at it. “It’s your mom.”
We both stood in silence as the phone continued to ring and then went silent. “I can’t right now with her. I just can’t.”
“She said that you’re not close. She stated that there was a rift after your dad died and she didn’t know how to reach you anymore,” Brett told me as he stared at me. “She didn’t tell me who you were.”
I knew that Cole was out of my life now and that I couldn’t go back. Somehow, the men reminded me of each other, and I blinked as he drank a large swallow of his drink. Could Brett fill the void, as sick as the idea was? “We’re not close, and we never were. I was always a daddy’s girl and when he was gone…I felt like I lost everything.” I looked at him as more tears shimmered in his eyes, caught somewhere between lust and pain. “I didn’t even have a sibling to talk to and the one that was closest to that left me years later.”
“Jesus, Larisa. I didn’t know,” Brett said as he stepped forward and cupped my face before he kissed me gently. I melted against him, drunk more on emotions than the wine as he pulled me against him. I knew that I wasn’t going to stop this from happening and we ended up in my room, tearing our clothes off as Brett worshiped my body all over again as I cried through it, hating myself but loving his hands and mouth as he brought me close to the edge over and over. I was begging him by the time he slipped a condom on and moved slowly inside of me.
This wasn’t the heated one-night stand that we shared before. This was Brett comforting me the way he knew I needed him to and I pulled him closer to me as he thrust harder inside of me and brought me to an explosive emotional release as I cried out his name. Brett moved slowly through the waves as he sucked on the skin of my neck and then jerked as he came at the very end of my orgasm. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as he rested against me and kissed my shoulder. “That’s twice now,” he said as I stared at the ceiling.
“Yeah,” I said as I stroked his hair. I wanted to feel terrible, but I felt amazing inside as we rested together. His skin was damp and warm as I felt his lips brush against mine.
We got up and went down to heat up the food, eating silently at the table with thick robes covering our skin. I felt like he knew me well now, having had me twice and I wondered where this was going to go now. I drank the wine in large gulps, and he had a few more drinks as I got to know him more.
I learned that Brett was a partner in a graphic design company here in New Mexico, one of the most successful in the country. He told me that the night that we met but I was drunk and couldn’t remember. Once we kissed, I only wanted one thing from Brett, and I listened closer tonight. I wanted to know him, for the time we had and the future, no matter what happened between us.
I talked to my mom, keeping it brief as she told me that she’d be back in two days. Two days alone with Brett here…I didn’t know how to feel about that. I finished my dinner and helped him wash dishes before we went out to the back patio and stripped our robes off to soak in the hot tub. It felt so good to let the hot water soothe my bare skin as I giggled from the effects of the wine and the way that he was making me laugh.
I thought of Cole later that night as I drifted off to sleep with Brett by my side, drunk on need and wine. I wasn’t ready to face what I’d done, not yet. I was just trying to feel good inside.
CHAPTER 7
The morning dawned bright and jolting as I looked beside me in the king sized bed and found Brett curled up beside me. I stared at him as I remembered the second time I’d been with him in this house, hot and rough compared to the first time. I got up and went into my bathroom as I stared in the mirror and caught the scattered markings on my neck.
“Oh my God,” I murmured as I took a deep breath. I pulled on the robe from the night before and went down to make coffee and think. I sat at the table from the night before, sipping my drink and breaking things down in my head. Brett was my mom’s husband, a vow that should be taken seriously. I just knew her and the way that she looked for men with money to take care of her. Marriage was a big step, but Brett was handsome, and I could see why she’d cling to him, but did he want that? They knew one another a few months at best when they married, and I was curious to know what came over him.
I jumped as I heard a cup hit the granite counter and looked over to see Brett. He was dressed in some sweats, and he poured coffee in before lo
oking at me. “Morning.”
“Good morning,” I replied as I tapped the table nervously. I didn’t know what to say or do. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah,” he replied as he sipped the coffee.
“Why did you marry her?” Brett looked stricken as he stared out of the window and I just watched him.
“She made me laugh when I met her. Your mom is a beautiful woman and a catch for any man…but then I saw you at the restaurant. I had no idea,” Brett told me as he stared at me. “It took everything I had not to react to you. It took everything I had not to wrap you up in my arms.”
“That night was a mess.” I ran a hand through my messy hair and frowned. “She was so mad at me, and I couldn’t eat. All I could do was drink.” I stared at him. “Did she suspect anything?”
“Just that it was you being a daughter that didn’t like your surprise, I gather. She didn’t guess what was really going on,” Brett assured me as I looked into his face. “She’d never guess that, Larisa. It’s too crazy.”
“Yeah.” I nodded blankly. I had officially knowingly slept with my stepfather as well as my best friend and I pushed the reality away. “She’ll be home tomorrow. What do we do?”
“Do you feel like this more than just the sex?” Brett asked me as I looked down at the table. “If so, I’ll leave it alone and do my best with her.”
I was torn, but Cole was out of my life in that way as well as a possible friend. I enjoyed being with Brett, at least so far. He was older, but there was a spark between us. “Not entirely.”
“Okay. We see what happens,” Brett said as we sat stiffly in our chairs.
I napped that day while Brett went into the office for a while. He told me that he’d pick up some dinner on the way home before he kissed me softly. Brett was so tender with me, and I watched him leave as I licked my lips. I could still taste the coffee on his lips.
I drove around town for a while for some fresh air after I showered, running into a few shops to distract myself from what was happening. I loved my mom in the sense of obligation, and I knew that what I was doing was wrong. It just felt so good.
I left one of the stores with a bag full of new lingerie and shoved it into my passenger seat. Driving home, I pulled into the driveway and got out before I headed upstairs and dumped the bag on the bed.
Over dinner from a popular Thai place that night, Brett and I talked further. He told me that his son was coming in a few days after not having seen each other for a little while. He was off to college much like me and even in the same state, so he was close.
We got distracted by each other after the meal, and I made love to Brett on the couch with a blanket underneath us as I rode him hard and fast. He held me close, sucking my nipples into his mouth as we came together. I pressed against him as I let out a deep breath and reminded myself that we were sleeping in separate rooms tonight. Mom wasn’t due home until later, but we didn’t want to get caught, not like this.
I went up into my room and slipped under the covers as I took a slow breath. My body was still on fire, and I pressed my thighs together as I bit down on my bottom lip.
I slept fitfully and just kept going back to sleep until late into the morning, I knew that Brett had gone to work and I suspected that Mom would wake me up when she arrived home, which she did. There was a knock at my door, and I looked as it opened and she peered inside of my dim room, finding me buried under my covers. “Still sleeping?”
“Just lazy. It’s nice not to have something to study or a class to go to,” I responded as she stepped inside, looking flawless. “How was your trip?”
“Very productive,” Mom replied as she looked around my room thoughtfully. “I haven’t been in here for quite some time.”
“Yeah, it looks the same as it did back in school.” Mom nodded and ran a hand through her smooth hair pulled into a low bun. “I am going to take a shower. Do you want to go out to dinner tonight, just the three of us? You can get to know Brett better since last time was so terrible.”
I didn’t want her to know how well I knew him. “Sure, that will be fun.” No, it wouldn’t.
Mom left, and I turned back over in my bed, feeling sick to my stomach. God, I wanted to talk to Cole, but I’d heard nothing from him since that last text. I couldn’t tell him all of this, ever. He would hate me more than he already did, though I was doing well at that myself.
I dragged myself out of bed after a few hours of dozing and showered before I pulled on some tights and a plum dress before slipping my feet into boots. I knew that Brett was home since I could hear them talking, but I didn’t want to go downstairs until I had to. I questioned everything from my hair to my outfit until there was a knock at my door. “Larisa, are you ready?”
“Yes, Mom. I’m coming,” I told her as I walked over and opened the door. She looked stunning in a black dress with heels, and I wondered why Brett was with me. I wondered if he’d regret everything now that she was home.
We walked down the stairs together, and I saw Brett standing in the kitchen in black slacks and a white shirt with a blue tie hung around his neck. He looked so gorgeous, and I stopped and stared for a moment as Mom glanced down at her phone. Brett looked up, and our eyes met for a moment as I frowned gently. He was beautiful beyond words, and I thought back to that first moment when our eyes met in the bar, knowing that then it would be an incredible night.
It was, then and now.
I don’t know how I got through dinner, apart from wine and watching him. He spoke well, showed his intelligence and wit as he kept us both mesmerized. I saw the way that Mom looked at him, but it wasn’t with love. It was the same way I did and the idea of them together later turned my stomach as I set the glass down on the table. At least she was past having more kids, a thought that made me stare at Mom. Was she?
“Larisa, are you okay?” I blinked as she stared at me and nodded as I sipped the wine.
We finished the meal, and I watched as they walked ahead to the car. He was holding her hand loosely, and I took the sight in before he turned his head and met my eyes. There was a heat there that made me shiver as I followed them and I bumped into someone as I blinked. “I am so sorry,” I said as I turned to look at the guy that I bumped into.
“That’s okay. It was worth it,” he told me as I looked into dark eyes and the cheekbones of a model. “Have a great night.” I nodded and said something similar to him as I turned to follow Brett and Mom to the car as he stalked forward with his shoulders set.
“Are you okay?” Mom asked as he unlocked her door and opened it as I passed them to get to the back.
“Of course. I just remembered that I have some work to do in the office when we get home.” He replied as he stared forward and I dropped my gaze to the ground.
Later that night after Mom was asleep, Brett told me how jealous he was of that guy with his mouth between my legs.
CHAPTER 8
I helped Mom in the kitchen the night before Thanksgiving, trying not to chuckle at her attempt to prepare to giant turkey for the following day. I wasn’t a great cook, but I’d made enough simple meals living on my own to muddle my way through it. At some point, she started drinking and left to go watch a movie in bed while Brett took her place.
He stuffed the turkey with herbs and vegetables as I watched him, explaining that it flavored the juices that he used to make the gravy. It was something that his mom had always done, prompting me to ask him where she was. Brett looked sad and a little lost as he explained that she died of ovarian cancer when he was twenty-seven and that his dad wasn’t a big part of his life. I wanted to give him a hug, but I wasn’t sure if Mom was asleep and I just stared at him. We finished the preparation and stored everything in the fridge for the following day, and he glanced down the hallway to his bedroom before looking at me.
Before I knew it, I was upstairs and against my door as he kissed me hard. I held him tight and listened for any noises as we made out like teenagers in the dark
for a long time before Brett dragged himself away, though not without giving me a hard orgasm with his fingers against my clit and I struggled not to cry out. He kissed me quiet as I breathed deeply and held me as my knees went weak. He helped me to bed, and I pulled down his pants and blew him on the floor of my room, on my knees as he held my hair and murmured dirty words to me.
He left after that to sleep a few hours before cooking, and I made myself come under the covers as I played back the night in my head. I couldn’t get enough, and I went for round two as I arched my back and bit my lip again.
I was addicted and in trouble as I finally slept a few hours before I had to pretend that everything was normal for the holiday.
I woke up later than I assumed anyone else would and pulled my hair into a messy bun and dressed to see if anyone needed help downstairs. As I walked down the steps, I could already detect the scent of cooking turkey and inhaled appreciatively as I looked into the kitchen. It was free of people, but there was a full pot of coffee that I helped myself to before stepping into the living room where Brett was watching the parade on the couch with his own cup, dressed in sweats and a fitted t-shirt that made me drag my eyes over his chest. My thighs clenched together, and he glanced at me as I sat in a chair a few feet away. “Morning. How did you sleep?” His voice was husky as he looked me over in my leggings and sweatshirt and I giggled.
“Pretty good. I was worn out,” I replied, winking at him as he laughed and stared at me.
“Yeah, me too.” I never asked if he was intimate with my mother, though I did wonder sometimes. They were married, and she’d expect it. “Dinner should be ready around three. We can just relax around the house.”
“Where’s Mom?” I asked as he frowned and looked down the hall.
“Sleeping. She’ll be up to eat; I expect, but it seems she drank quite a lot last night.” I sensed the displeasure in Brett’s voice and wondered where it came from. Did he miss her? Did he just not like her drinking? I kept my thoughts to myself and sipped my coffee as I stared at the SpongeBob float on the big screen television. I wondered what would happen when I went back to school next week. Would we just end and life go on for both of us? I couldn’t imagine that, but I wasn’t naive enough to think that we’d live happily ever after.