He smiled. "How embarrassed you are about having to work at Coast, about having to hang out with the losers. Or is it just that you have to work?"
I bit the inside of my cheek. It wasn't as if I could completely deny it. I was embarrassed that I had to drag on that uniform and serve people their dinner every night. "Why? Do you like working in fast food? Is this where you intend to spend your life, your budding career?"
"Does it matter?"
Yes, I wanted to shout, but kept silent because I didn't know exactly where he was going with this. "I guess that depends on what you want to do with your life. In case you hadn't noticed, high school just finished."
"And it's summer, something that seems to have bypassed you. We're kids and it’s summer. I intend to act like it, not spend the majority of my youth worrying about my future car payments."
"So you're just not going to care?"
"Exactly," he said, straightening one of his legs as he lay on his back, the muscle of his thigh flexed.
"And then what? When summer is over?"
He shrugged again. "I'll worry about that then."
"Ignoring it won't make it go away. Are you even going to go to college?"
"Nope."
"You're just going to work at Coast and hang out in your mom's house?" I said incredulously.
"Beats going law."
So he'd heard what I'd discussed with Julian, even though he'd been completely busy playing hockey with Wyatt. "Not sure it does." Studying law was definitely better than the complete loser option Riley was investing in. In fact, his option was pretty much incomprehensible.
"We'll just have to agree to disagree."
I watched him for a moment, thoughts running through my head. Riley wasn't stupid. "So you're going to what, follow in Julian's footsteps?"
"Nothing wrong with Julian's career choices."
"Even Julian thinks there's something wrong with his career choices."
"Really? So what is it you're looking for with your illustrious legal career? Prestige? A nice car?"
"How about just getting your own place one day?" I said with an exaggerated shoulder shrug. "Nice, average goal, in my book." I was starting to feel a bit more drained now, so I copied him and lay back, putting my head on the arm rest of my couch.
Riley smiled. "Maybe I'll start a band one day. Or maybe I'll become a championship gamer."
"I can see you're thinking big."
"What the fuck does it matter?" he said, closing his eyes.
I watched him for a moment. He looked completely relaxed on the couch. One bare foot rested on the other armrest and black jeans covered his legs. He wasn't exactly skinny, but not built like the gym junkie either. He had a nice enough face, brown hair, brown eyes.
"There's ice cream in the freezer," he said after a while, still keeping his eyes closed. He looked like he was asleep, but he wasn't. His brain was likely off exploring abstract concepts in there somewhere. Or thinking about food.
Ice cream did sound nice—something sweet after the salty Doritos. Actually, I was hanging out for a smoke now. "Can I smoke?"
"Only if you give me one."
I'd walked right into that one. Digging through my bag, I found the pack and picked one out before flinging it to him. It landed on his stomach. On principle, I objected to giving him one, but I was a guest in his house and would have felt like a bit like an asshole saying no.
Lighting it, I let the smoke fill my lungs, the bitterness in my throat before the nicotine crept into my veins. I really hated smoking. The image of the girl sprawled in the toilet returned. Maybe I would get PTSD from this, stuck forever remembering this girl, seeing her every time I close my eyes. I wonder if her parents knew yet. "Today sucked," I said.
* * *
Chapter 13:
* * *
My hair was still wet when I pulled into the parking lot outside Coast. Against my better judgement, I'd fallen asleep on Riley's couch, waking when his mom had walked in around seven in the morning. She was actually more embarrassed than I was, probably thinking I was one of Riley's conquests. I'd had an impulse to set her straight, but knew it would only make me look guilty. There was no guilt. There was nothing there—at all. Period.
Riley hadn't woken at all as I scrambled for my things and left, still lying exactly as he had been last night. I'd driven home through rush hour traffic, too embarrassed with myself to stay.
And now another day started and I was back here watching people pulling into the parking lot and cars were lined up for the drive thru. There was nothing to indicate anything strange had happened last night. The world moved on. Maybe I should too. It wasn't my fault she was a heroin addict or that she’d overdosed in our bathrooms.
What lovely comments did Riley have for me today? No doubt he would make a big deal over me sleeping at his house last night. I watched as Julian got out of his car and walked in. I still didn't quite know how I felt about him. The way he handled things were actually quite cool, in a reserved way. As long as you did your job, he didn't give a shit. He seemed to have a line of what needed to be done and beyond that, he didn't get involved. I had talked to him last night, but still, I knew nothing about him outside of work, and he seemed happy to keep it that way. Although he did get it on with the ladies, and it wasn't immediately apparent why.
Thank fuck it was Friday. Only today left, then the weekend. It really had been the longest week I could remember.
My phone, wallet and smokes were strewn over the passenger seat and I gathered them into my bag before stepping out. Hopefully nothing horrific would happen today. Surely days like yesterday couldn't happen that often, and what were the chances there would be two in a row.
The area in the back was deserted and I punched in the code to get in. Bright, artificial lights hurt my eyes for a moment and a guy stepped in my way. He had light brown hair and I'd never seen him before. He didn't even acknowledge me as he walked past, wearing our uniform.
"Who's the new guy?" I said when I saw Ella in the staff room.
"What new guy?"
"There was a guy, brown hair. He just walked past me in the back." There was nothing else descriptive about him I could mention.
"Probably Brian."
I'd forgotten about Brian. I'd actually never seen him before. "Back from somewhere, is he?"
"No. He's here every day. He tends to stay in the back though."
This place was tiny, how the hell was he here and never seen? Did he hide in some corner somewhere?
A noise made me look over and I saw Riley and Wyatt standing by the grill as usual, talking about God knows what. There was always this heavy feeling around Riley, like there were expectations there. Something always happened with Riley. Any moment, ickiness would drop out of his mouth, some accusation or observation that typically cast you in a bad light.
"What time did you leave last night?" Ella asked, drawing my attention back.
"Around four. I drove Riley home." I might as well say it before Riley did, including whatever twist he would put on it. “I fell asleep on his couch.”
She didn’t give it a second thought. "Sorry I didn't stay."
"Don't worry about it." She looked uncomfortable, like she wanted to say something; instead, she stood from the table. "Really, there was no point in all of us staying." Although I was curious what the big issue Brandon had had that made her need to leave so suddenly, even after she'd said she was staying. Obviously, he hadn't been hurt or she'd have said so.
She smiled brightly and walked over. It was only up close that you saw how perfectly her makeup was done. Her face had a sheen like a pearl, her lips glossy. Someday she would actually have to show me what she did, although I suspected it would take a lot longer than I was happy to commit to it. Some of her tricks wouldn't hurt though.
"We're going to a sports bar tomorrow night. Wanna come?"
"No," I said as if she'd suggested visiting the dentist. Sports bars sucked. The guys sat there stari
ng at screens all night, getting overly excited about making bets. And apparently I had just dissed something she seemed to like doing. "Sports bars aren't really my thing. Sports in general, aren't my thing."
"Me either," she said with a wave of her manicured hand.
"How about we skip the sports bar and go to the movies or something?"
Ella stopped and turned to me. "The plans are pretty set. Sorry. How about Monday at lunch? We could catch something. Brandon can't make it then; he's working."
"That's a shame," I said flatly, not caring less if Brandon was there. Ella seemed to think it was an issue.
"Sorry," she said. "That sounded weird. It probably sounds like I plan my entire weekends around Brandon. It's just that he's pretty pissed off that I work in the evening, so I try to make up for it on the weekends, you know?"
"Sure," I said, not entirely certain I did.
"He wants me to quit."
"And is he going to pay your rent?"
"I'm still at my parents' house, but I've been saving money. Unfortunately the day shift isn't hiring. I suppose I could get another job. I mean, I'm not at his beck and call or anything, but working here, weekday evenings are out and he likes to do stuff."
I didn't quite know how to take this. On one hand it was logical, but on the other it left a bad taste in my mouth. "It's a slippery slope if you start changing your life for a guy."
"It is though? Aren't you supposed to make compromises in a relationship?"
"What compromises is he making?" I asked. Her gaze shifted between my eyes. She had no answer, then her mouth drew tight and she looked angry.
Had I just pissed her off? Done the Riley thing and charged into something sensitive, just because it was there? I'd just pulled out the female empowerment speech where it wasn't wanted. Standing your own ground was all well and good, but it didn't help anyone jumping to conclusions. I'd just basically accused her of being weak, really knowing nothing about her situation. "Sorry, it's none of my business."
Ella turned and kept walking. Why the fuck had I just barged in, making assumptions about a relationship I knew nothing about? How would I feel if someone had accused me of being a doormat in my relationship? Irrespective of the fact that there had been times when I definitely thought I had been. Relationships were complicated and they certainly didn't work if you ranted female empowerment all the time. Along with being president, the ladies in my family had reinforced how I was fully within my rights to own the feminine ideal, taking no shit from anyone, insisting I be treated like the goddess I was. That was my aunt mostly, who also believed crystals had healing power and all women were representations on earth of the goddess. Fine, whatever, but in certain situations, that you made you crazy.
Well done, me, I said to myself as I walked out front, past the fry boys. Riley looked up as I walked past, smiled and returned his attention to the grill. I was dumbfounded. What? Was that it? No snarky comments, teasing with sexual innuendos? Were we buds now? If all it took was sleeping on his couch, I would have done it earlier.
The world clearly makes no sense to me, I thought as I walked to my register. Mia pushed past me, shoving her key into hers and unlocking it. "Hey, Mia," I said.
She gave me a pointed look, then turned her attention to the customer standing in line.
Okay, I thought, as I greeted Liz, the girl I was relieving and unlocked my register. I started serving customers, wondering if Mia's pointed look was on purpose.
"Damn it," Ella roared from the restaurant, standing next to the self-service counter, with the door to the trash compartment open. Her shoulders shrunk in dismay. "Someone stole the trash can. We don't have spares, you know! Damn it."
"Why would someone steal a trash can?"
"It's inert, high composite material," Matilda said, like her statement made perfect sense to anyone not an idiot. "They can hold all sorts of things, including volatiles. It terms of quality, it's on the expensive side, hence attractive."
"It's a trash can. They're everywhere. Why steal it from a fast food restaurant? I'm sure someone who is interested in the specific properties of the materials can afford to buy their own."
"Customers steal everything," Mia said sharply. "This one guy stole seats off the chairs. Unscrewed them and everything. They steal. Get over it. You don't need to jump down Matilda's throat about it."
"I wasn't," I said, surprised at the bitterness of the accusation. She'd never spoken to me so tartly before. Was this about Riley, about me sleeping at his house? It was the only thing that made sense, which also meant she knew. Mia had been fine before yesterday. Or at least as far as I had noticed. Now she was having a stab at me for opening my mouth.
I saw Ella raise her eyebrows like 'I told you so.' I hadn't done anything.
* * *
Chapter 14:
* * *
"Mia's been talking shit about you," Ella said as soon as I walked in the door.
Tension flushed up my body and I felt my blood pressure rise for a minute. My shoulders sank. What exactly had I done to deserve this? "What's she been saying?"
"Nothing specific, just that you're a kiss ass and an attention seeker."
"Bitch!" I said, trying to keep my voice down. This really bugged me. I'd done nothing to deserve being treated like this. "It's not my fault she isn't over Riley and he's clearly moved on." Actually, I didn't know if he had. He could have been texting her every day for all I knew. Hell, they could be getting it on every five minutes. I didn't really care what Riley did. Although now, I really was hoping he wasn't doing it with Mia—just to spite her. I hoped whatever reason he dumped her burned. "Thanks for telling me."
"No probs."
Tension settled in my shoulders. I didn't like when there was drama, even if for something as stupid as this. It just made everything uncomfortable, especially as I had to stand next to her for the next eight hours.
I took my time changing in the bathroom, dreading having to take my station. And I hated that this got to me. I wished it didn't, but it did. Even surviving high school, it grated when some girl was hating on me. Why couldn't I be one of those girls who just didn't care? What was Mia anyway, just some no-hope girl upset that Riley wasn't going back for more. Ungenerous of me calling her that, but none of this was my doing.
At pace, I walked through the back out toward the counter.
"Pepper," Wyatt said. "Looking good."
Stopping, I tried to think of what his agenda was right now. Had they been talking about me? "I look exactly the same as I always do."
"If you were—"
"Not anymore of your 'if you were a guy' questions."
"Look who woke up on the wrong side of the bed," he said.
"Or in the wrong bed perhaps," Riley said, grinning.
"Shut up, Riley." I guessed the truce was over. "And seriously, it's none of your business which bed I wake up in."
"Oh, so you were getting some action last night?" Wyatt said, amused curiosity written all over his face.
"You're not thirteen anymore, Wyatt. You have a fiancé, for God's sake. There is no reason you should be so obsessed with sex."
That hit home and Wyatt's lips drew into a thin line. Score for me. Riley made the sound of a cat hissing. Two can play that game, I thought as I walked away, and I could do my own versions of a body slam.
Mia had the high arch to her eyebrows when I got to my register, looking down her nose at me as if she smelled something she didn't like. Just because you can't return the crap they sling, I thought as I unlocked my register. I refused to let her get to me. She could be shitty all she liked. It just meant she was sore about something, and that was her deal.
It was inexplicably slow tonight, which made it worse. Mia only answered me in one or two word sentences all night long. Customers seemed to take a long time to order and one even argued the menu with me. ‘Why did we have that when nobody liked it, when we could have this and we would sell millions?’ You don't actually speak for e
veryone else, I wanted to yell, but smiled patiently until I requested quite tersely if he was ready to order.
"Pepper," Riley said sweetly behind me and I felt my shoulders cringe the very moment I noticed he was there.
"What?"
He was making exaggerated, large puppy eyes at me.
"No!" I said, turning my attention back to the eating area.
"Come on, I'm seriously broke and going into nicotine withdrawal." He stepped closer and placed his forehead in the middle of my shoulders. "Please."
I could feel Mia watching and felt mortified. It really was coming across like we are overly familiar. Damn Riley for doing this. I wouldn't put it past him to know exactly what he was doing too. Manipulation was one of his mainstays. "Fine," I said, just to get rid of him. This was certainly not going to make my relationship with Mia better. Heat flared up my cheeks and I felt I had absolutely no control. And he was still standing there. "Go on then. You know where my locker is."
"I'm not going in your locker. That would be immoral."
"You have before."
"True," he said quizzically. "But I've learned my lesson. And the lighters is in your pocket, but I'll be more than happy to fish it out if you want me to."
I marched out back. He was just making it worse. "What the hell is wrong with you?" I said when he followed.
"A multitude of things. Were you talking about anything specifically?"
"Mia thinks there's something going on with us and she's giving me shit." I yanked my locker open and pulled out my bag, rifling through until I found my cigarettes. I handed the whole pack to him.
"I can't really live my life to please Mia, can I?" he said, pulling a cigarette out and handed the pack back.
"Keep it."
"No," he said, shoving it in my hand. "I'm certainly not putting up with you amping for nicotine. You're hard enough to deal with."
"I'm hard to deal with?" I said incredulously. "You're…" I started, but couldn't even finish the sentence.
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