Unfortunately, the cops had confiscated his weapon until Ian insisted on getting it back. After seeing his identification as an employee of Sentry Security, they returned his gun. The paramedics didn’t argue when he insisted on riding with Penny in the other ambulance. Ian wanted to take her hand in his, but the paramedics naturally commandeered sitting on either side of her. She didn’t move or make a sound, and every moment longer she stayed that way made Ian’s heart sink. Stark fear had stripped him bare, and now it was twisting his stomach into knots and making his heart pound. All of his training, all of his tough shit attitude couldn’t remove the gut-shredding realization he could lose Penny.
As they rolled through the streets, escorted by a Hummer with firepower included, Ian felt chewed up and spit out. It pissed him off and scared the shit out of him in equal measures. He felt as if he was back in a war zone. When he’d hired on with Sentry he’d always expected a lower-key lifestyle. No more special ops. No more battle zones. Long Valley Super Volcano had changed all that. Mother Nature had kicked ass and there was no going back to the way it was before. People had retreated to their basic needs, their survival above all things the top priority. Understandable and yet sometimes brutal.
As the ambulance rolled into the emergency area at the hospital in Bangor, Ian gritted his teeth. He’d wanted out of this city and back to Buckleport, but darkness progressed and they were stuck. Once they’d brought Penny into the emergency room, Ian pushed forward unthinkingly. Staff and the sick and injured jammed the area, and as they wheeled Penny toward a bay, he started to walk that way.
A nurse grabbed his arm. Tall and thin, she looked ragged and used up. “Sir, you can’t be in here unless you have injuries.”
“I’m not hurt. She’s my…” He stumbled over the words. He didn’t care if he lied. “My wife.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I see. Well, we still need room to work.” She gave him an impersonal once over, skepticism clear. “What are you, a cop?”
He wasn’t getting into that, and he didn’t give a fuck what she thought. “No.”
She glanced around. “We have a mess in here. This will take a while. Sit in the waiting room, and as soon as we know anything we’ll come and get you.”
He considered arguing, but the bruiser hospital security guard across the room eyeballed him with suspicion. He wasn’t getting thrown out of the hospital.
He nodded. “Right.”
After entering the waiting room, he wanted to exit and locate a quieter place. People milled about, a television anchored high in a corner spit out a snowy picture of a local news channel. He ignored the squawking television as it gave a continuous stream of bad news. There was nowhere to sit, and he leaned against the wall. He crossed his arms and closed his eyes. Guilt burned a new hole inside him. He’d brought this situation upon her because he didn’t have the balls to extricate her from danger. Maybe her father had made a mistake by relying on him to keep her safe. So far he’d failed. Beyond that, he couldn’t stifle the pure fear rampaging through him at the thought of her…dying. His throat tightened. His next breath sent a shudder through his body.
Man up. You’ve made it through a fucking war zone, and yet you can’t keep the woman you love safe.
Oh. Oh, fuck.
Love.
The revelation stirred pain inside him, demanding that he recognize his emotions on a level he’d never attempted. He’d admired women, lusted after them. Had sex with them. Never had he experienced this almost paralyzing desire to protect, to shelter, and to cherish forever.
Penny Graham was more than beautiful in body, but also in mind and spirit. He connected with her on every level. With gut-wrenching knowledge, he decided he couldn’t and wouldn’t deny his feelings any longer. He wallowed in those passions, stewing as he leaned his head back against the wall and stared across the room at humanity.
Some of these people would survive the next few days and maybe the coming weeks. Could he say the same for himself? At one time he’d thrown himself into his security work. He’d delved into it full blast while the world around him imploded with war and then with volcanic apocalypse. Always in the back of his mind he’d worried about Penny until it chewed him alive, relentless in his belly. Dread threatened to tear away his defenses.
He stood there, waiting and worrying for at least three hours. He was about ready to force his way into the emergency room when the nurse who’d talked to him earlier came into the room. She saw him right away and smiled. Fear eased slightly inside him. The woman wouldn’t smile if she had bad news. He met her halfway across the room.
“Is she all right?” he asked. “I want to see her.”
“She’s going to be fine. A little bump on the head. MRI and CT showed no damage. She doesn’t have a concussion, so that’s good, but we want to keep her overnight for observation. We’ve taken her up to a room.”
“Thank you.” When she started to walk away, he said, “Wait. Do you know anything about the other two people…Gillian and Phil Kendricks?”
The nurse nodded and crossed her arms. “They’re both in surgery, so it’ll be quite some time before they’re up for visitors. Gillian has a wound to her left shoulder and so does her husband, only the shot that hit him broke his collarbone.”
Ian winced. “Shit.”
The nurse’s smile returned. “You’re all very fortunate, considering what could have happened.”
After she gave him instructions on where to find Penny, he headed upstairs to the ward. As he walked, he couldn’t muster a smile. Relief smoothed the edges of his turmoil. He’d apologize to Penny again for his failures to keep her safe and do everything from this point forward to give her a lifetime of protection if she’d take it. He’d be lucky if she didn’t tell him to go fuck himself.
The ward room featured a less sterile environment than he expected, with pleasant light blue walls, cheerful paintings, and no strong antiseptic smell. All ten beds were filled, and most of them had at least one visitor by their sides. Most of the patients looked fairly healthy, considering. None appeared severely injured. Penny lay in the bed closest to the door. She wore a blue hospital gown and a light blue blanket was tucked under her arms. Her skin was pale, and the worry he’d banished a short time ago returned. Once he stood at her bedside, she opened her eyes. A grin parted her lips. She reached up and brought him down into her arms. It felt like heaven on earth embraced him. He savored her touch, happy and content to soak in the incredible sensation of holding her. He pulled back slightly, cupped her face and kissed her soft lips. He drew back a little more and looked down into her crystal-clear gaze.
Tears leaked from her eyes, and he kissed her forehead and nose. “Damn. You scared the shit out of me.”
He didn’t know what else to say, for a moment so choked he couldn’t force another word past his throat.
“When I woke up, I was so scared,” she said. “I didn’t know where you were and I was afraid…” She gulped. “That you’d been killed. I almost panicked and then a nurse told me what happened. Gillian and Phil…?”
“They’ll be all right.” He drew back until he stood, only holding on to her right hand. He squeezed her palm between both of his hands. He explained what he’d learned from the nurse. “But we might have to leave them here.”
“We can’t.”
He steeled his heart. “I’m getting you back to Buckleport and your father if I have to die trying.”
She tightened her grip on his hand. “Please don’t…” She sniffed, tears still glistening in her eyes. “Please don’t say that.”
When more tears trickled from her eyes, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead again. “I’m sorry. Bad choice of words.” He felt mixed up, unable to say what he ached to express. But he wouldn’t wait another minute. “When I saw you lying there in the vehicle, unconscious, it scared me shitless. Waiting for you in that emergency room, it tore me up.”
A genuine, warm smile parted her lips. “What are you tr
ying to say, Ian MacDaniel?”
“That I’m bloody sorry I didn’t do my job keeping you safe.”
Her face altered in an instant from warmth to coolness, and she released his hands. “We’ve already talked about that. If I’d been on my own, who knows what would have happened. You have kept me safe. I don’t want to hear another word about it.”
“You’re angry?”
“Of course I am. You keep belaboring this as if the entire situation is your fault. As if you failed to keep the volcano from blowing. You can’t control everything, Ian. Stop trying.”
Wow. Yeah. He threw his hands up a second and tried a half-assed smile. “Okay, I get it. I’ve managed to piss you off. What did you want me to say?”
“All I want is for you to know that I’m glad you’re here. That having you with me is more important than anything.” She sounded on the edge of furious, and the contrast shocked him. She rubbed her eyes. “God, I’m tired.”
“Don’t go to sleep.”
“I don’t have a concussion. The nurse is scheduled to wake me up every two hours.”
“I’ll be right here. I’m not going anywhere.” Penny still didn’t look happy, and he had to know why. “Okay, I get it. No more talk of keeping you safe.”
“Good. Just stay here…”
“Roger that. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You better not, Scotsman.” She chewed her lower lip. “Because I’ll be scared if you leave me.”
He returned to holding her hand. They went silent, and a sinking feeling made him wonder if he’d missed a window. He closed his eyes and rubbed one hand over his face. He’d never seen her this vulnerable before, and it shocked him. She’d always presented the most steady, ready-to-take-on-anything face.
“I’m not going anywhere without you,” he said.
“Good.” She didn’t look confident.
“Do you trust me?” he asked.
Her eyes widened, and a smile returned to her face. “With my life.”
Her words humbled him. “Good.”
Yet as he settled in the chair by her bed, he ached with a desire to scoop her up in his arms, carry her out of here and hide somewhere far away from the chaos.
Chapter 9
Morning came and with it Penny’s insistence that Ian go downstairs and have some breakfast in the cafeteria. She’d practically had to pry him from her side, but he’d done it with the promise to check on Gillian and Phil.
Last night Ian had seemed off somehow, in a way she couldn’t define. But who wouldn’t be, after everything they’d experienced in just a short amount of time? She’d also sensed he wanted to say something but hadn’t. The secretiveness worried her. He’d probably heard some awful news on television and decided to keep it from her. The man’s protective streak stretched miles wide.
He’d returned in less than an hour with good news. Gillian and Phil were awake and chomping at the bit to get the hell out of Bangor. Not that they would anytime soon with those gunshot wounds. Penny once more asked the Scotsman to go eat. He’d told her what a zoo the cafeteria was downstairs and it might take him a while to return. They hadn’t seen a doctor today, but a nurse had promised someone would check on Penny soon.
Ian had been gone less than an hour, and even then a twinge of anxiety promised to derail the calm she’d obtained. She’d slept well for the first time in a while last night—a nurse coming in to check her vitals every two hours didn’t make much of a dent in her slumber. Seeing Ian in a chair next to the bed had staved off any lingering fear, and she hadn’t recalled any dreams.
The door opened, and she glanced up in anticipation. Ian strode in, and when he saw her, he gave Penny that big smile. She’d never seen him smile so much in such a short time. Gone was the totally grim warrior, replaced with a gentler version…at least when it came to her. Earlier, when Ian was out of the room, a young nurse asked her if Ian was single. Penny told the woman point blank that Ian was her boyfriend. Boyfriend. The woman acknowledged the possessiveness with a smile and told Penny she thought Ian had taken all over him.
Boyfriend. Somehow the word didn’t cut it. He was more than that. Her lover, yes. Her friend, most definitely. She didn’t have a good definition in her own mind for the relationship.
“What’s up, pretty lady?” Ian asked as he came to her side.
“What’s up is that I’m starving. How was your breakfast?”
“Okay.” As he leaned down to cup her face and kiss her, she let out a sigh of total enjoyment. “But a kiss from you is far superior.”
“Oh, man,” she murmured against his lips as he kissed her again. “Flattery will get you anywhere and everywhere.”
“God, I hope so.”
The door opened again and a black man of about sixty-five wheeled in a cart with a tray on it. His cheerful expression said he’d guessed what they were doing. “Hey there, young people. None of that here now. We’ve got hospital rules.”
Ian laughed. “Hey Sam. You know what I think of hospital rules.”
Sam smiled and shrugged. “Well, I had to try. And how are you feeling, Penny?”
“Good. Don’t you ever get time off? You were here last night,” she said.
“Working double shifts. There’s a lot of people who didn’t show up to work after the volcano got nasty in January. Only way we can cover things is to work longer hours.” He put the tray on the table in front of her.
“When do you sleep?” Ian asked.
Sam rubbed his hand over his graying beard. “Here and there. When I can. I don’t have any family so it’s easier on me than some of the others. I can work longer hours and let them go home to their families. Now, enough about me. Your gourmet meal, madam.” He did a comical flourish and stepped back.
“Oh boy.” She laughed and lifted the plastic lid. “Smells good. Scrambled eggs and hash browns?”
“Taste it and see what you think,” Sam said. “Can’t vouch for their taste. This hospital, in case you hadn’t noticed, is rolling along on shoestrings and a prayer.”
“It seems to be holding up well, considering.” Ian gestured toward the door. “The emergency room seems like it’s always full.”
Sam leaned against the wall near the bathroom, his dark eyes filled with agreement. “Can’t argue with that. I don’t know how much longer we’ll last.”
“You’ve got to last.” Penny didn’t want to think about what would happen if they didn’t keep the hospital running. “There’s no other possibility.” She chewed the eggs and found them halfway decent. “Mmm.”
“Taste good?” Sam asked.
“Not too bad.” Penny dug in because she was starving. “I don’t care how many preservatives are in it, either.”
Sam clapped. “Excellent. I had another reason for stopping in this evening. Jana at the nurses’ station told me you and your friends are trying to get to Buckleport. Damn mess between here and there, I hear.”
Ian crossed his arms. “Yeah, we’re trying to get there. Why?”
Sam leaned one hand on the bottom rail of the bed. “I’ve got an old junker…well, it’s not a junker so much. It’s a Cutlass from way back. Still runs, but it doesn’t have any frills. Damn workhorse, believe it or not. I could loan it to you. You can get it back to me after all the turmoil settles down. There’s enough room in it for all four of you.”
Penny frowned. “We couldn’t take your car. Besides the SUV we have is…” She glanced over at Ian. “Wait. What about Gillian and Phil’s SUV?”
“When we hit the roadblock it was totaled. It’s not going anywhere.”
“Damn,” she said softly.
“I thought Gillian and Phil weren’t capable of traveling?” Ian asked.
Sam’s eyebrows rose. “That’s what the doctor says, but now they’re in a room together and they’re both making noise. I think we should get all four of you together for a talk as soon as possible. There’s a wheelchair right outside if you want to use it for transportation to th
eir room, Penny.”
“Sounds like a plan,” she said.
Sam turned his attention to Ian. “Son, what branch of the service were you in?”
Ian grunted. “Why is everyone asking me that?”
Sam laughed. “Well, you’ve got a weird accent. Scottish, right?”
“Right.”
Sam tapped his index finger against his temple. “Aren’t too many people in Bangor used to hearing a Scottish accent.”
Ian’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “Most of the time they think I’m Irish. They can’t tell the difference.”
Sam looked doubtful. “Just tell them you’re like the actor Kevin McKidd. The ladies always like a Scottish accent.”
“They do.” Penny had to confirm it.
“I don’t understand it. And I don’t look like McKidd,” Ian said with a hint of disdain.
“He’s a great actor,” Penny said. “And yeah, you do look quite a bit like him. Rough. Tough. Not too pretty.” Ian’s eyes widened with every descriptor, so she kept on. “Reddish blond hair. You’re taller than he is, though. And you have more muscles, I think. Well, I don’t know if you really have more muscles, but you have a lot of them.”
Ian rolled his eyes. “That’s mad.”
Sam chuckled. “Give it up, young man. Can’t you tell when a lady is trying to compliment you? Just say thank you.”
Ian’s eyebrows went up, and so did his hands. “Right. Thank you.”
She chuckled.
“Now what branch of the service were you in?” Sam asked.
“Special Air Service.”
Sam cocked his head to the side. “British forces, eh. Tough bastards.”
Understanding dawned on Ian’s face. “What about you? Vietnam? Gulf War?”
“Just missed Vietnam by the skin of my chin. I was a year too young. I was in the Gulf War…the first conflict in Iraq. Air Force medical technician. Got messed up in a car accident, of all things. Took awhile for my brain to get straight.” Sam saluted Ian. “Well, I’ve got other mouths to feed. I’ll talk to you later. Have me paged if you want that car.”
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