He seemed to be directly over her. “Yes?” She nearly coughed out the word, her throat was so dry.
“Do you think you could stop talking for maybe just a second?”
Her breath caught in her throat. “Why?” she asked hoarsely. “Because you want to sleep?”
The smile that curved his mouth was slow and sensual as his eyes held hers. “Not exactly.”
And then his smile was on her lips, passed there by touch. Luc slipped his hand between her hair and the pillow, his fingers tangling in the long curly strands as he cupped the back of her head.
He kissed her, kissed her because at this moment in his life, there was absolutely nothing else he wanted to do but that.
Like a match striking the side of a tinderbox, it lit the fire within him.
Signals quickened inside Alison, heating her. Melting her. Sensations, tantalizing and delicious, rushed out to greet her. Surprise her. Without thinking, she wrapped her arms around his neck, surrendering herself to the kiss and to the wild feelings it generated.
And then, just as quickly, the feelings receded into the shadows as unsummoned memories intruded, commandeering her mind. Freezing her body.
She began to tremble.
He knew the difference. He’d felt anticipation tremble within him. Cause the woman he was with to tremble. This was not the same.
Concerned, he drew away from her. “Alison, what’s wrong?” He saw that same terrified look in her eyes. She moved her head from side to side, struggling to hold back the tears. “Nothing.”
He didn’t understand what was happening. He hadn’t forced himself on her. But then, there were different definitions of the word, he supposed. Maybe in her mind he had forced something.
He didn’t want her afraid of him. Didn’t want her thinking she was in any danger. Falling back to his side, he stared up at the ceiling. “That got a little out of hand.”
Braced to hear him revile her, there was nothing but shock when he didn’t. She could say nothing, plead nothing. Any words would only make things worse. Pressing her lips together, she turned away before he could see the tears in her eyes.
Further apologies would only make things worse, he thought, so instead he turned away from her and willed himself to fall asleep. Maybe they could sort things out in the morning.
A noise wedged itself into his dream. The sound of an animal, hurt, keening.
No, not keening and not an animal…
Trying to unravel the mystery nudged him out of the realm of sleep into wakefulness. His eyes still shut, he listened. Was that the wind?
No, he changed his mind. The wind didn’t weep. Forgetting that he wasn’t alone in the room, he turned to face the middle of the bed. The moment he did, he remembered.
But there was no body to bump into. The bed was empty, the place beside him, when he felt it, cold.
He sat up and looked around.
Though it had to be around one, dawn was already staking a claim to the day, urging the crickets outside to end their symphony and go home.
There was someone sitting on the window seat. Alison. Her head was on her knees, with her arms wrapped around them as if she was trying to make herself small. Make herself disappear.
That’s what the sound was. She was crying.
Watching her, Luc was torn between giving Alison her privacy and giving her comfort. The struggle was a short one. Unable to see her suffering like this, for whatever the reason, Luc got up and crossed to her.
She didn’t even seem to hear him approach. Very gently he laid his hand on her hair and stroked it. “Alison?”
She jerked as if he’d used a hot poker, but didn’t raise her head. She couldn’t. “Go away. I can’t talk to you right now.”
“Nobody’s asking you to talk.” Moved, wanting only to ease whatever it was that hurt her so, Luc began to take her into his arms.
Resisting, she bunched her hands against his chest and tried to push him away. The tearstains on her face caught him off guard and wrenched his heart.
“I said go away, I don’t want you to see me like this.” He probably thought she was crazy. Maybe she was. Alison wasn’t even sure why she was crying; she just knew she couldn’t help it.
But he wouldn’t be pushed away. Instead he gathered her to him on his lap and sat down on the window seat. “Shh,” he whispered against her hair, “you won’t even know I’m here.”
Slowly, like a summer wave along the beach, his soothing tone penetrated her agitated state. Alison stopped resisting and allowed the comfort in. “I feel so stupid….”
“We all do,” he told her quietly, “at one time or another.”
He was being so understanding, it made her feel guilty and more conflicted than she ever had with Derek. Because Derek had called her names, had belittled her when the smattering of patience he’d had had disappeared. In her heart, she couldn’t even blame Derek. How could she? He’d thought he was getting a wife.
“I’m sorry, Luc.”
He knew she was, though he didn’t completely understand what was going on or what torment she was putting herself through, only that she was sorry that somehow it had extended enough to touch him.
“Shh, nothing to be sorry for. Nothing at all.” He continued holding her, rocking slightly, until she fell asleep in his arms.
Leaning his cheek against her hair, he decided that there were worse ways to spend a night.
Chapter Thirteen
There was no time for Alison to talk to Luc and apologize.
The next two days were a flurry of activity, even by normal standards, let alone the ones she had come to expect here in Hades. Though Shayne had made the offer to give her a little time off, she’d declined, feeling it safer all around if she were working. There was less of a chance of a misstep on her part with Jacob and Janice.
And less of a chance to do the same with Luc.
She was secretly grateful for the accelerated pace that work and playing hostess created because as well as any tabled apology to Luc, it also put off any questions he might have had.
There was no doubt in her mind that Luc was a wonderful man. But she’d thought the same once of Derek. Wonderful lost its luster when confronted with the same frustrating situation day in, day out. She couldn’t really blame her ex. It was her fault.
There was a line in her head, a line she couldn’t cross, no matter how much she wanted to. She froze at that line, unable to reach out, unable to be reached.
And if ever she’d wanted to be reached, it was now….
There was no point in dwelling on it, Alison told herself as she parked the Jeep in front of the Salty. She was late meeting everyone as it was. Besides, going over the situation again wouldn’t change anything. All it would do would make her feel guiltier. She was what she was and there was no making a passionate woman out of one whose blood turned cold at the slightest sign of intimacy.
Still sitting in the Jeep, Alison pressed her lips together. She had no business responding to Luc, no business in allowing him to think, even for a second, that there could be anything between them. Because even though she was stirred, she knew what would happen. Exactly what had happened two nights ago. Nothing. She went so far and no further.
It was a fact of life. Her life.
You have a party to go to, for God’s sake—smile.
She knew that half the people in Hades were probably in the Salty. If she came in looking as if she’d just attended two funerals in a row, word was going to spread faster than fire over dried prairie grass. People would start asking her what was wrong. They were like that here—eager to listen, eager to help.
Determined to behave like the blissful newlywed Luc deserved, she got out of the vehicle and walked over to the Salty’s front door. Taking a deep breath, she pushed open the door and was immediately absorbed.
There was no other way to describe it. The Salty opened both its arms to her the instant she crossed the threshold, and welcomed her with a warm embra
ce. Just the way it had the first time she’d been here. There was something about the bright, cheery place that sang of camaraderie and comfort.
It was a little, she thought, like coming home after a long, weary day. It wasn’t hard for her to see the attraction of the place. It pleased her that it was run by Ike and Luc.
Now all that remained was finding them—and the others.
Scanning the room, Alison saw them instantly. Jacob and Janice were holding court in the center of the room, talking, she assumed, to people they’d once known. The place was literally packed with people. It was easy to forget, standing here in this throng, that Hades was actually very thinly populated.
She looked for her own set of familiar faces. The unease she’d held under wraps only three weeks ago was gone as she glanced around the room. She was getting to know most of these people by sight, thanks to the parade of so-called patients that had gone through Shayne’s office to eyeball her on a one-to-one basis.
Predominantly, she admitted to herself, she was looking for Luc.
He found her first. Coming up behind her, he slipped an arm around her waist and kissed the top of her hair. “Hi. I see you made it.”
She started, then forced herself to relax. It was, she had to admit, getting easier. “Yes.”
He kept his arm around her waist. “I thought this would look more natural to Janice and Jacob, like we were actually married,” he whispered against her ear.
Had he noticed that she’d stiffened? Of course he had. There was no way he could have missed it. When would the random touch of a man’s hand not set her off like this?
“Good idea,” she murmured. “And thanks for leaving the Jeep for me. It was nice getting behind the wheel again.” She grinned. “I never thought I’d hear myself say it, but I miss driving.”
The din was getting louder. He inclined his head toward her. “It’s being forced to do something that takes away from the pleasure.”
She looked at him sharply. Was he trying to tell her something? And then she dismissed it as being silly on her part. He was just making a random observation. There was no way he could know about the turn her marriage had taken. He didn’t even know she’d been married.
She nodded toward the center table. “They look like they’re enjoying themselves.” Taking a closer look, she reevaluated her impression. “At least, Jacob does.”
Jacob had always been able to have a good time, when he laid aside his goals. “He liked it here well enough,” Luc remembered. “But there weren’t enough opportunities for him.”
She turned her face toward Luc, very much aware that his hand was still around her waist. And that she liked it there.
“But there were for you.” It wasn’t a question.
He shrugged as he carefully guided her back to the main table. “We were looking for different things.”
The comment peaked her interest. “And did you find what you were looking for?”
His eyes swept over her, warming her skin even more than the close quarters did. “I’m getting there.”
Before she had a chance to ask where “there” was, Ike came up on her other side and planted a quick, cousinly kiss on her lips. “About time you got here.” He pulled up a chair for her.
The others hailed her as she sat down, though she noted that Janice’s greeting was a little cool. “I had some things to finish up,” Alison explained.
Ike shook his head. “Works you like a slave, doesn’t he, darlin’?” Not giving her a chance to come to Shayne’s defense, he placed a brandy glass in front of her. It was filled with a bright pink, foamy-looking liquid. “Here, I want you to try this, tell me what you think of it.”
It looked tempting. She turned the glass around slowly by its stem. The light overhead shimmered over the surface. “What is it?”
“Something I made up for Marta. I call it Smiles.” Ike waved his hand at the room, a collection of regulars mingled in with people who generally did their celebrating at home. The men outnumbered the women seven to one. “Don’t get much of a chance to serve it to this crowd. Drink up, tell me what you think. Puts roses in your cheeks.”
“And a buzz in your head,” Marta added, laughing. With a grin, Ike threw his arm around his wife and pulled her closer to him.
Luc drew his chair closer to Alison’s. “You don’t have to have that if you don’t want to.” She probably preferred wine. It was what he’d seen her drinking at the club in Seattle. He reached for the glass. “I can bring you something else.”
She stayed his hand. “No, that’s okay. I like trying new things.”
“Oh, you’ve got yourself a rare woman, there, boyo,” Paddy cackled behind them. He hobbled by, leaning on his crutch and holding tightly to his glass of beer with the other hand.
Feeling as if she’d suddenly become the center of attention, Alison took a tentative sip from the glass. A warm, sunny feeling seemed to pour slowly through her as she felt the liquid spread out through her veins.
It was the same sort of feeling, she thought, she had whenever she caught Luc smiling at her. Her eyes met Ike’s. “This is good.”
Vindicated, Ike didn’t bother hiding his triumph as he looked at his cousin. “Told you she’d like it.”
“He’s going to be impossible to live with, you realize that,” Luc told Alison.
“He already is,” Marta countered, tucking her arms around her husband’s torso and inclining her head against his shoulder. “Especially since he just found out he’s going to be a father.”
“But you already are,” Alison pointed out.
Marta grinned. “Yes, but this time he actually put down the groundwork himself.”
The men at Marta’s elbow hooted.
Amid congratulations, everyone took their turn pounding Ike on the back, but Alison noticed that the glance Jacob exchanged with Janice had a solemnity in it that almost hurt to witness. She looked away before either one could realize that she’d noticed it.
Raising her glass high, she was the first to toast the prospective parents, finishing the remainder of her drink.
“Thanks, darlin’,” Ike squeezed her shoulder.
Her head was buzzing. Walking into the bedroom, she felt lighter than a scrap of nylon being whisked away by a playful spring breeze.
Smiling, she hugged herself.
“You certainly seem happy tonight.”
His voice surrounded her. She turned a little too sharply to look at him. Wobbly, she lost her bearings for a second. The next moment, he was beside her, grabbing her by the arms and holding her.
She closed her eyes and welcomed the feeling.
“I am,” she breathed, opening her eyes again. How was it that she’d been running from this, when it felt so wonderful? When he felt so wonderful?
She placed her hands on his arms when he began to release her. “No, don’t.”
The soft entreaty whispered along his skin, tightening his gut. Playing havoc with everything in between.
He’d spent most of the evening watching her. And wanting her.
There’d been something different about her tonight. She’d seemed happier, freer. The tension he’d seen along her brow was gone. Even now, her laughter still felt as if it was trapped within his chest, teasing his heart.
Just like her body, so tantalizingly close, was teasing his.
A man knew his limits and he was swiftly approaching his. He tried to loosen his hold on her again. “Alison, I think for your own good—”
Her hands remained where they were. She was standing very close to the edge now, and the fear hadn’t come yet. She could feel her heart all but leaping for joy inside her.
Her eyes held his. She slipped her arms around his neck. “Maybe I don’t want to think about my own good right now. Maybe I don’t want to think at all.”
Did she even have a clue what she was doing to him? He doubted it. “I’m only human, Alison.”
“I know.” Standing on her toes, she brought her mou
th very close to his. So close that the kiss was there between them before it touched his mouth.
It took everything he had to try to hold her off and himself in check. He figured this qualified him for a spot beside Galahad at Arthur’s Round Table. Either that, or a Purple Heart for valor above and beyond the call. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”
“Maybe I do.” Feeling wonderful, feeling freer than she had in years, Alison made her affirmation by pressing a small, nerve-scrambling kiss to his neck.
Luc’s eyes fluttered shut as he absorbed the sensation. It shot through his body like an urgent alarm. “Is this some sort of a test?” he said with effort as her lips moved along his throat, slowly undoing him. His arms involuntarily tightened around her. “Because if it is, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do to pass.”
She drew her head back. Her eyes were wide when they looked at him. Wide and clear. “Take me away from everything. From all these things inside my head.”
Before he could protest, for her sake because it definitely wasn’t for his, she sealed her mouth to his. And sealed their fate.
Passion flared instantly, like kerosene suddenly thrown on smoldering flames, making them burst into sheets of fire. That’s how her body felt. Like it had burst into flame. And burned brightly.
She wanted him. Desperately. And wanted him to want her.
Unable to help himself, praying that there would be forgiveness somewhere in the night, Luc gave up the fight and gave in to her.
And to himself.
Over and over again, he kissed her. Kissed her eyes, her lips, her face, the curve of her neck, the hollow of her throat. Kissed the creamy, delicate shoulders beneath the blouse he almost ripped from her in his attempt to draw the material away.
A button was lost in the skirmish.
“Sorry,” he breathed.
Her head spinning, Alison ignored the rest of the buttons and quickly pulled her blouse up, over her head, throwing it on the floor. “I know how to sew.”
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