by Davis, Jarod
“Oh yeah.”
“He wanted me here.”
“Isaac?”
“Yup. Dragged me. Then he disappeared with all of his friends.”
“Don’t ask me about boys. Boys are mean. They suck, they just suck.” Kayla crossed her arms over her chest. That was not not the positive attitude she wanted, but it was just Erin and she knew what happened. She knew as much as Kayla anyway.
“They can,” Erin said. “But they can be pretty good too.”
Something mean popped into Kayla’s head, but she didn’t say it. Erin was right. They could be. That was probably the hard part. She remembered Dean the good guy, Dean the good boyfriend, Dean the guy who said he loved her. She believed him too. Mad at him or mad at herself, it didn’t matter. She should have let it go.
“Yeah,” Kayla said. “They can be.” That last birthday was pretty great. Dean found an old showing of her favorite movie, rented out the whole theatre, and gave her a private screening. It took time, planning, effort. It convinced her. He cared about her. He’d never ditch her, until he did. Without an explanation. Not even a text. Kayla tried to push it aside and focus on this moment. But it felt like there were claws or thorns stuck in her skin, these feelings that wouldn’t go away.
“Like him?” Pizza still in hand, Erin skulked at the archway into the living room and pointed to one of the boys. Off to the side, he pressed one foot against the wall. He had light hair, broad shoulders, and an unbuttoned shirt. When Erin waved her over, Kayla finished pouring a cup of Mountain Dew and peeked out as well. It felt like watching guys in their natural habitat.
“He’s okay.”
“He was looking at you when we walked in here, and now he’s sneaking peeks when he thinks his friends aren’t looking. I know him if you’re interested.” Erin made it sound like she wanted to sell off some government secrets. If so, she would’ve been a terrible spy because she had to say, “His name’s Tristan, he’s a senior at San Juan, and he plays for their soccer team.”
“I doubt he’s looking.”
“He’s interested. Definitely checking you out.” Erin made it sound like divine truth.
“I doubt it.”
“You should go talk to him. C’mon. Get out there. Go show him how awesome you are.”
“Yeah. No. I don’t think so.”
“They’re not all jerks,” Erin said.
“No. But I’ve met enough of them that I don’t really feel like trying again.” When Kayla saw the hurt kitty cat look on Erin’s face, she had to add, “It’s fine. Really. I’m fine. I don’t need another guy in my life right now.” She thought of home and thought, Especially now. Every time she got home, she had to wonder what she’d find. Tense silence, shouts, tears, broken dishes, or screams.
“It makes life fun.”
“Do you know anyone here?” Kayla asked. Even though she didn’t recognize any of the faces, they still felt similar. The same pants, t-shirts, jeans, hoodies, and haircuts made a lot of the guys look the same.
“Isaac. Some of his friends.”
As Erin bit through some more pizza, Kayla spotted someone else. He didn’t grin like Tristain. He didn’t look like he could rule the world with the power of his smile or the flip of his hair. He watched the other guys play, but he didn’t say anything. Kayla knew him from freshman year. She knew that in the first second though she couldn’t remember his name. It took her another sip to catch his name, Seth. The two people with him surprised her more than seeing him there. They looked older, like college students.
One guy, one girl, they both had glasses and had on worn clothes like they didn’t really care. Kayla glanced down, her cheeks warm, when he looked over at her like he could feel her gaze. A second later, he motioned his friends and disappeared to another room.
“Do you know Seth?” Kayla asked.
“Daniels?”
“Yeah.”
“I see him around sometimes.”
“I thought I just saw him.”
“Here?” Erin asked, “Huh. I guess it makes sense. Right age. Probably a guy into his video games and girls with guns. Just didn’t think he’d want to come out of his cave.” That was mean, but Kayla had to admit it sounded kind of right. She used to talk to him freshman year, but since then they kind of wandered apart. She always saw him with his two friends, but they didn’t talk to anyone else. He always looked mean, hard or sad. Something hurt him, she thought, and wished for a second that she could help him.
That made her smirk for a second because Kayla couldn’t even help herself.
“Looked like he was hanging out with some college kids.”
“Maybe,” Erin said. She sounded distracted. “Sure you don’t want to go talk to Tristan? I think you two could have a lot of fun. C’mon. I can’t do anything. I’m in a relationship.”
“With a guy you love,” Kayla reminded her friend.
“Yeah.” Erin grabbed Kayla’s arm to keep her from running away, “Don’t look now, but he’s coming over here.” At first, Kayla didn’t realize what that meant because she didn’t play these games. Other girls could be strategists who knew tactics and cover with guys.
Something cold hit her stomach when she turned and saw Tristan standing there. He smiled at her. “Hi.”
“And that’s my cue,” Erin said despite the pleading look Kayla flashed over her empty cup, “I have to go check my laundry or something.”
“Don’t worry,” Tristan promised, “you can bail if you want.” He held up his hand. “No hard feelings.”
“Bail? No, I wouldn’t do something like that.” She might want to, but she’d try not to leave a guy standing there. That was something Isaac told her about before. Sure, waiting for a guy to come up and talk to you was tough. Crossing that room, knowing she might say no, and having to walk back, that was so much harder because everyone sees your epic fail.
“Glad to hear it,” he wiped imaginary sweat from his forehead, “You had me pretty scared there.” He smiled a male model’s smile, like it was practiced and perfectly designed to make anyone who saw it feel good about the world. “I’m Tristan.”
“Kayla.”
“I haven’t seen you around much.”
“This isn’t really my scene.”
“Not a gamer?”
“Or a guy.”
“Glad to hear it.” That same smile dimpled his cheeks and crinkled the corners of his eyes. “Otherwise, I think I might’ve had to run.” Before an awkward pause could hit the conversation, “So if this isn’t your thing, what is?”
“Hanging out with friends.” Easy answer and true, though Kayla didn’t have to say it didn’t happen so much anymore. “Movies. Skating sometimes. Usual stuff.” That was the easy part about Sacramento. Outside those two activities, there wasn’t much to do.
“Favorite movies?”
“C’mon. That’s kind of a hard question.”
“Not always,” he said. “Sometimes people know exactly what they want and like.”
“That’s not me.”
“You have a hard time making up your mind?” Tristan asked with a smirk that might’ve been at her or just something she said.
“I didn’t before.”
“Before?”
Kayla opened her mouth to say something, but the words caught in her throat. So much happened, it was hard to pick the exact problem. Her family was the easy answer, but she couldn’t blame them for this. Everyone had to make their choices. That’s what Kayla kept telling herself. “Before some drama at home. Nothing to worry about.” She beamed another shallow smile for someone who asked.
“I’m out,” he said with a nod at his cup. “You want something?”
“Sure.”
Tristan walked off and Kayla felt the tug to turn and watch him go. Yeah, he looked just as gorgeous from the back as he did from the front. For a second, she wondered what it would be like to slide her fingers through his hair, to feel his lips against hers, and then she remembe
red Dean. He was her first boyfriend, first kiss. Now she was looking at someone else and it felt like tripping into an obvious hole.
Erin reappeared the second Tristan was back in the kitchen. It was like she was a ninja for all the sound she made. “See what I mean?”
“He’s friendly.”
“He’s into you.”
“Just because someone comes and talks to me doesn’t mean he’s interested.” Kayla nibbled her lower lip. A bad habit that always resurfaced when her stomach crawled with doubts. This wasn’t the night she expected, but maybe she’d be happy she came out. Something good could happen. Think positive, she reminded herself.
“With a guy, yeah, that’s what it means.”
“He could just be nice.”
Wagging her finger, Erin smirked, “You’re underestimating yourself.”
“Your drink,” Tristan said from behind her. Kayla turned back then glanced over at her friend, but Erin was gone again.
This Tristan would be a nice guy. He wouldn’t want her, and even if by some stretch he did, she had too much going on right now. A relationship would add more complication to a life that felt like a calculus problem. “Enjoy. It’s the finest of flavors.”
Kayla sipped the Mountain Dew and tried not to smile at a bad joke, but it was hard, and it looked like that was exactly the reaction he wanted. “Senior?” he asked.
“Junior.”
“Ah, so you haven’t gone through the tremendous joy of applying to colleges.”
Kayla groaned with a little shake of her head and a smile all at the same time. “Not yet.” She swallowed that jolt of excitement, fear, and hope that always mixed together at the idea of finishing high school and moving onto something else.
“Any idea where you want to go?”
“Nope. You?”
“Thinking about some place out of state. I applied to a couple different schools, but all of my safeties are local. My parents don’t really want me leaving the area. They want to keep an eye on me or something,” he said it like that was the world’s craziest idea.
“They’re probably just worried.”
“Yeah, I get that, but I have to grow up to. Right? It’s not like I can just live at home for the rest of my life. I want to get out there and do something. Something great.”
“Live the life of the conqueror?” Kayla asked.
“You don’t think I could?”
“Oh no, you totally could.” She thought back to world history. “I could see you on some battle field somewhere with a forty pound battle axe and another sixty pounds of armor.” She only knew that stuff because her teacher insisted on coming dressed in war attire. Somehow that got him in trouble with the administration. “They wouldn’t hurt you at all.”
“Now you’re teasing me.”
“Am not.” This was easy. It felt different from everything else.
“Oh no. You are. You totally are. You’re so teasing me and after I brought you a plastic cup filled with sugary goodness. I’m hurt. You think you can trust some people then they turn around and start messing with your head.”
He turned around like he was going to storm off. Before he could, Kayla reached out and grabbed his shoulder. “C’mon,” she laughed, “I meant it. You really could be.”
His mouth turned up in a grin that would’ve made a lot of girls smile, melt, shiver, or just feel good. “If you think so, maybe I should go to knight school. Get a horse. Take on bad guys. Could be fun. I could slay dragons.”
“You’re a dork.”
“And now we’re back to the insults.”
“No. Dorks are good,” she said and thought that was definitely true if they managed to look like him. “They’ll save the world.”
“If that’s what you think, then maybe it’s not so bad.” Tristan stretched out, took another sip. “So if you don’t know what college, have you thought about a major?”
“Not really.”
“Can I take a guess?”
“You can try,” she said. “But I don’t think you’ll get it.”
“You’d be surprised. I’m pretty good at reading people. Like freshman year I met this guy. He taught me everything I know. Took me under his wing, made me his apprentice, all that stuff. After a couple months with him, I guessed he’d end up as a communications major.”
“Communications?”
“Yeah,” Tristan said. “They learn to talk or something. But anyway, I said that and boom, four years later he’s a sophomore at UCLA majoring in communications.”
“So you were right once and now you think you have a super power?”
“I made one guess and I was right one time. That’s a hundred percent. Oh yeah, proves that I’m right every time.”
“About guessing what major people will pick?”
“About everything.” Same smile, same way his eyes didn’t leave her, like he didn’t want to take the chance she might not be there when he looked again. “I’m modest too.”
“Obviously.” Kayla decided to play. “Okay, so what’ll I major will I pick?”
“It’s an important question. Your major determines your profession, and your profession determines who you’ll see and where you’ll spend most of your life. Everyone talks about schools and how they matter the most, but that’s not true. It’s all about the major, not the campus.”
“You keep talking, but you still haven’t taken your guess.”
“Oh no, I’m just reading your aura, getting a feel for who you are before I make my selection. But okay, now I’m ready. I’m ready to make the prediction that will be true.” It was stupid, yet Kayla still felt something flip in her stomach. “You think you’ll become a doctor, but that won’t work out because you won’t like the instructors or how mean and competitive people get. But since you’ve majored in biology, you’ll want to stick with helping people.”
“That was a little more than just a major.”
“Eh, I’m just that awesome.”
“Why medicine?”
Tristan looked her up and down like he could read her future from the clothes she wore or the way she stood. “You look like a nice person, someone who thinks she might be able save humanity. You might not like medicine because of all the pain and competition, but you still want to make a positive mark.” He smirked, “Tell me I’m wrong. C’mon. I dare you.”
Kayla smiled back at him, “You’re wrong.”
“Or you’re in denial.”
“So let me get this straight,” Kayla said with one finger in the air like she was trying to figure out a math problem. “If I say you’re right, then you’re right and you know everything. But if I say you’re wrong, then that just means I’m in denial?”
“Pretty much, yeah. That’s how it works.”
“Anyone ever say you’re a jerk?”
“All the time,” he said with a little bow and a swirl of his hand like a ringmaster. “That’s the secret to success. Confidence.” Kayla lost track of their conversation. No fights, no arguments, no shouts, she let Tristan tease her. Even in a house of shouting guys, it felt more peaceful than anywhere else. Everything started to get soft and fuzzy, like she could feel safe with him.
Their conversation only stopped when someone rammed up the volume on the music. The dull thuds turned into booming shouts of rappers and singers. Tristan’s voice barely carried over the music even when he leaned over, their faces an inch or two apart, “You want to go somewhere quieter?” Kayla nodded and they headed out. When Tristan reached over and slid his fingers over her shoulder, a little thrill jumped up the back of her neck.
They headed upstairs where more people lined the halls. A group of guys in dark colors talked about something Kayla couldn’t really make it out. They didn’t seem to care about the pulsating music. They were just as happy discussing philosophers and global economics in a classroom as shouting it at a party.
Tristan pulled open the door at the end of the hall. It looked like someone’s bedroom. He stepped
inside first and left the door open. Bed to one side, desk to the other, it looked like a college student’s room.
Kayla sat at the desk while Tristan looked around, didn’t see another chair, and sat on the bed. The music still thudded through the floor, but it was nothing like the kitchen. “So what do you think of me? Are you thoroughly impressed yet?”
“Should I be?” she smiled, but her vision felt fuzzy. After a long night, she must have been more tired than she expected.
“Ouch,” he said with both hands over his chest like she struck his heart. “Seriously. What do you think?” He sounded like he really wanted to know. She watched him, serious for a second. He just met her, but he was nice. That felt too rare. Her head started to hurt. Trying to ignore it, she wanted to focus on him.
Kayla scrunched her eyes shut and felt the room blur around her. Shaking it off, Kayla didn’t want to hurt his feelings. These games could be fun, but the wrong word turned flirting into one of those stinging memories you carry around for a long time.
“I think you’re a different kind of guy.”
“Really?”
“Shouldn’t I?”
“No,” he said. “I’m good with different.”
“You don’t like other guys?”
Tristan peeked from side to side like he wanted to make sure no one would hear what he was about to say. “No, not really. But you can’t tell anyone.”
“Why not?”
“Because they’d take away my guy card.”
“Guy card?”
“Yeah, it’s the little ID they give all of us when we’re born. It proves we’re guys.” He grinned at her and she started to notice the way his cheeks turned a little red when he smiled. “If they know you think I’m different, they’ll definitely take it away. We’re supposed to keep that secret, so don’t tell anyone.”
“You are such a dork.”
“Maybe. But what makes me different?”
“Just the way we talk. You’re nice. I’ve met nice guys before, but you’re not like everyone else.” Kayla wanted to say something else. She wanted to tell him that he made her feel like she could be honest.