by Davis, Jarod
“Test it for what?”
“There are certain markers we can use. It’ll indicate who’ll become a demon.”
“Science? What? Some kind of genetic test?”
“Yes.”
“So it’s not a matter of choice?”
“Not at all,” Vigo promised. “You are what you are. There’s no free will in this particular instance. Yes, angels might make their own decisions, but devils are brutally insane. They kill. They butcher. There’s no redemption for them.” He snuck now, close enough for her to feel his breath against the tip of her nose.
Kayla didn’t blink or hesitate. “Is that everything?”
“No,” he said with a diplomatic purr. “Just one more thing. Do you know this boy?” He pulled a folded up picture from his pocket. “We’ve hunted him for a long time, but he’s always been able to evade us. Considering that he’s probably about your age now, I hoped that perhaps you’ve seen him.” Kayla stared at the image. Old and distorted, it looked like something recoded from a decade ago. The folds and smudges didn’t help the low resolution.
Locked between her fingers, Kayla held the picture of a little boy with sandy brown hair. His cheeks shined wet with tears and his face crumpled down in the kind of pain a child shouldn’t ever have to feel. Blue uniforms surrounded him, and it looked like he sat in a police station. Yet Kayla couldn’t figure out what a little boy could do to get into that kind of trouble. She exhaled a long breath, “No. I don’t him.”
“He’d be a lot older.”
“Sorry, I don’t think so. I don’t know him. I’ve never seen him.” She sounded sincere. She really sounded like she didn’t recognize Seth’s picture.
When she got home, Kayla had decided. She pulled out her phone, typed the message, got a response a few seconds later, and headed back out into the cold afternoon. Getting out felt easy because she didn’t need to hear her parents shout about money or lawyers. Everett and Skyler were off with friends, so they didn’t have to hear the storm. They knew to stay away too.
It was cold, but Kayla so didn’t care. The clouds and winds felt gentle compared to the sickened chill every time her parents fought, every time they wanted her to take sides. Shaking her head, she couldn’t believe that. They raised her and taught her morals. She tried to think of it from their sides, but she never thought family would fight like this.
For the most part, Kayla blocked out the sounds of constant combat. Someone emptied some checking account. Someone threw away someone’s favorite shirt. Someone never liked his brother. Someone never liked her mother. Round and round, it turned to the kinds of jagged white noise which kept her awake.
Rubbing her hands together for a second of heat, Kayla thanked the universe she had somewhere to go. Besides, when she was alone, even with the cars on the road and the winds flipping through her hair, focus came a lot easier. Walking meant not thinking.
Can you trust me? she asked without moving her lips because He’d hear it anyway. Can I trust myself? Seriously, I meet someone who says that Seth is a demon. A demon. What does that mean exactly? Kayla pulled her hands to her mouth and exhaled a little warmth against her skin, not sure what made her colder, winter’s touch or the idea that Seth was right. He’s my friend. I care about him. I want him to be safe. They would have killed him, so yeah, I made the right choice.
Kayla stopped when at the edge of the park. A wide field of grass spread out in front of her. In Spring or Fall, this would’ve been one bright spot of verdant green. Those same blades still felt alive and thriving, yet the colors looked muted and watered against the gray of the sky. Sitting at the one bench between the grass and the sidewalk, Seth had his back straight. Sensing someone there, he looked up and put his phone away.
“You wanted to talk?”
Kayla saw him, heard his voice, and knew she made the right choice. Maybe something happened. Maybe he made some mistake, but she trusted herself. Kayla trusted her instincts and intuition. She didn’t know how or why, but she trusted him. She trusted him the same way she trusted buildings not to collapse, bridges not to fall, the sun to come up every morning. She wouldn’t turn him in to a bunch of thugs she didn’t know.
Seth started walking with one sweeping glance around the park and down the street. Kayla figured he didn’t like to be in the same spot for very long. “I need you to teach me,” she said.
“What do you want to learn?”
“About what we can do. I want you to teach me everything you know.”
“Afraid you might get upset and rip someone’s head off?” he said, half-joking. He even laughed a little, but not enough for her to miss the fear clouded around his eyes. “C’mon. You’re going to stay away from everything remotely dangerous, so there won’t be any problems. It’s not like you’re going to attract attention. You’re in Key Club, one of the good kids, remember?”
She licked her lips, “Do you know someone named Vigo?” Seth stopped. He didn’t look scared. It wasn’t like his face went white or he ran screaming for his house. He just stared at her like he wanted to figure something out. He said he couldn’t read her mind, but it looked like he was still trying really hard. “He came to me today.”
“So you want to know if he’s telling the truth?”
“Our abilities, they could be miracles. What if he’s wrong? What if we have these abilities for a reason? We’re different. It doesn’t mean that was an accident.”
“A reason?” he smirked. “What reason? What possible reason could someone or something or anything have for giving us these abilities?”
Kayla looked down, her ears hot despite the cold, “You protected me.”
Seth puffed a breath of sigh, but he didn’t say anything for a few steps, “These abilities are dangerous, Kayla. I don’t think they’re a miracle.”
“But think about what we could do with them. Nothing just happens. There’s a reason. There’s always a reason.” Kayla peeked at him and wished he’d look back at her, because he needed to understand that. It wasn’t like the universe just ran blind. There was a reason goodness existed, and sure, it sounded corny, but it was true. She believed it. She had to believe it.
“I have thought about what we could do with these abilities. You know how dangerous we could be?” Seth asked. “Go watch a movie. Spend five minutes in front of a TV and you can see what kind of havoc we could cause. Give me eye contact with a crowd and they become puppets. Let me see the President and I control a country. I can know too much. I can do too much.” His voice shrunk, “There’s already too much pain in the world.”
“You think you’d hurt someone?”
“I know that I can. Look, I know it wouldn’t happen with you. You’re too in control, and I don’t think you could ever really want to hurt someone, but that’s not true for me. I’m not like you. I’m just not.” Kayla heard something else. Seth wanted to say something else, but the words didn’t get out.
“Vigo said you were a demon.”
“Do you think he’s right?” Kayla stopped for a second and waited for him. “Do you think you’re a demon?” Demons fought God. They disobeyed and defied their creator, their Heavenly Father. That couldn’t be Seth. “No. You helped me. You’re not a demon.”
Kayla wanted to say something about faith and belief and the promise those things offered, yet she stopped herself. She tried something else for the boy who protected her, “What would’ve happened if you weren’t there on Sunday?” Seth didn’t answer. He looked annoyed like someone who had an answer and didn’t like it. “Tristan wouldn’t have hurt me. He wouldn’t have gotten what he wanted, but he would’ve called the police, I would’ve been arrested, and someone would’ve figured out what I could do. Everything you say about secret agents finding me would’ve happened.” Kayla pressed herself a little closer, one hand on his shoulder, the other on his chest, right over his heart. “You helped me. I still have my life because of you. You’re a good person. You used your abilities to help someone. Tha
t is a miracle.”
Seth’s eyes had that same warmth and trace of sadness that made her want to protect him. “I will protect you. I will always be there to do everything I can, but you need to understand. I’m not a good person. Nothing can change that. Not hope, not faith, not religion.”
“Why not?”
“I look at this world. I see too much evil. Too many people have to suffer. Kids don’t have food. People have broken hearts.” Seth paused like this next part would hurt too much, but he spoke like he had to punish himself, “Too many kids lost their parents.”
“We could help them.” If they had these abilities, they could use them. He saved her, one act which proved they could change lives.
“Maybe.” His answer proved he had listened, not that he agreed with her. As they continued to walk, Kayla reached down and took his hand. She thought he’d pull away. He didn’t, and that felt good in a couple ways. “You want me to teach you?”
They cleared another five steps when he loosened his hand from her grip. Kayla tried to pretend she didn’t miss the heat from his fingers. She shouldn’t have cared.
“I need to be able to protect myself.”
“You did a good job last time.”
“That was accidental. I can’t be helpless, Seth.”
“It’s not like I can give you a textbook and tell you which chapters to read.” He looked around again, probably checking to make sure no one heard this. “But I can do something else. I don’t know if it would even work.”
“What?”
“I’m good with thoughts and memories. I’ve done this before, but never with someone like me.”
“What?”
“I’ve spent a lot of time using my abilities. I could try to transfer that same information to you.” He glanced away, then met her gaze.
“You can do that?”
“I did it with some other people when I wanted them to have my information and experiences. It worked fairly well. But you’re like me, Kayla. I don’t know how you’d react.”
“Would it hurt?” Kayla shook her head, “You know what? I don’t care.”
“You’re sure?” he said. “I think I know what I’m doing, but there aren’t any guarantees.”
“What do we have to do?”
“I take your hands, you clear your mind and try not to think of anything, and I show you everything you need to know.”
“When can we do it?”
“I don’t need to prepare. We just need to be close.”
“Like now?” she asked. “Okay then, now. We do it now.”
“You’re kidding.”
Kayla stopped. Hands on her hips, she hoped she looked intimidating. “Yes. I need to know what I’m doing.” She wanted him to know he could trust her too. “Let’s do it now.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I trust you.” She closed her eyes for a second, exhaled, and waited for him to do it.
“Are you ready?” he didn’t sound nervous the same way he never sounded lonely.
Kayla nodded once. His breath slowed as he bit down on his lower lip. In another moment, she would’ve said he looked cute like that, this scary mindbender who got scared of what he was about to do. He did it before, and Kayla knew he wouldn’t try this if he didn’t think he’d succeed.
Seth took her left hand. Kayla reached out and took his right. Their palms touching, she followed his lead as he laced his fingers through hers. Against the cold, their hands were warm together, but then Kayla lost sense of that.
At first, she felt a trickle of imagery. The cold and sound of wind and cars faded away. She didn’t feel the ground beneath her feet or the flutter of her pants against her legs. The feel of something hard beneath her replaced that and there was warmth on her face. This was Seth’s memory, she realized and started to see through his eyes. A dog sat in front of him. He stared at it until he could feel its thoughts and instincts. The image flashed to something faster. A clerk at some empty restaurant. Seth reached out and felt her fatigue and started to read through her thoughts, the jabbed feeling that her boyfriend was probably cheating on her. Days blurred into weeks, into months, into years, more practice for sharpened abilities until Seth could read any thought or memory, insert any compulsion or need. No one could say no.
As he taught her the intuitions and instincts to control her abilities, Kayla saw flashes of his life. She saw him at eleven when he skipped a field trip because he didn’t have parental consent. She saw him at fourteen when he caught the flu and waited it out, alone in an empty house. She saw him at fifteen with a razor in one hand as he figured out how shave without a father’s advice. She saw him in class when the teacher said to partner with a friend, and he looked around for someone to coerce. Kayla could feel Seth, the real Seth, fight against those images. It was like he was trying to hold it back, and she tried not to look, but those flashes seeped through. There was too much to hide, too much he couldn’t block.
It ended when he let go over her hands. That connection broke and the flashes vanished. Kayla stumbled back, and Seth had his fingers pressed into his forehead, his eyes locked shut. “Are you okay?” he wanted to know when he could blink his eyes open. It was almost dark, but it looked like every sliver of light stabbed into him. “Did I hurt you?”
Everything spun around her and she almost fell into the grass. She managed to keep her footing. “No. No, I’m fine.”
“Did it work?”
This time it didn’t take any concentration. She used the same instincts he’d trained in himself for the last six or seven years. She saw a rock on the sidewalk. He held out her hand, palm up, lifted her hand and watched the stone rise at the same speed, same angle.
“Yeah,” she said, “It worked.”
“Good,” he said. “Goodbye.” He strode away, graceful and lean like someone who wanted to be polite and escape too much to say. Kayla wanted to call out to him and ask him to stay, but she didn’t. As he got back into his car, she wondered why he left so fast. At first, she thought it was because he thought it was a mistake. Seth just handed her a powerful weapon. Before that, she didn’t know how to use her abilities, not really. Any fight would’ve been hit or miss, but now she had perfect control. He gave her that and now he left.
It was a plausible idea and it would’ve made sense, but it didn’t feel right. No, she realized, he was scared she saw something. As his car’s tires scraped up dust and gravel, she knew he was right. She saw more of his life, all of those little flashes that still hovered at the edge of her thoughts. He might’ve been alone, but he wasn’t the paranoid freak who wanted to conquer the world. He wasn’t that at all.
Kayla walked home through the dark. Once in every few steps, when she was sure no one was around, she even held out her fingers and flicked them along the ground. Random rocks, a random paper cup, a derelict soda can were flung away. To anyone else, it would’ve looked like a corny magic trick. Someone would’ve looked for the fishing line. To Kayla, she saw the swirls of energy. It was like she could see the atoms and molecules, how they moved, and a flick of her wrist could move them around like a breeze against grains of sand.
When she got home, her parents were gone, both of their cars gone. Inside, she found Everett at the TV, a controller in his hands. “Hey,” she said, feeling bad about how little she saw her little brother. That wasn’t entirely true. She saw him lots. They just never talked. It was hard with a sixth grade boy who played games that looked more like nightmares.
Everything mottled green, darkened red, and black, it took Kayla a second to understand what she saw. Yellow explosions blossomed over an orange sky. Slate red ground rushed by. To one side was Everett’s gun, a hulking cannon of some kind. It looked like it should’ve weighed twenty or thirty pounds and sparked every few seconds. Numbers and symbols circled the screen.
“Doing well?” Kayla asked because she remembered her little brother’s five minute lecture on how modern video games had evolved away f
rom the win/loss binary. Most games now were about mission objectives which could be met with varying degrees of success. She couldn’t ask if he liked this level since most games were made of zones and were sandbox style which meant the player could move through his objectives in whatever order he chose. He could make those kinds of points, but he struggled to write a paragraph response for his literature class.
“Not bad,” he said as he slammed a button. The cannon fired. Arachnid aliens crested the horizon just as Everett’s first round exploded among their ranks. He switched weapons, the cannon disappeared, replaced by something that looked like a two handed Uzi. He sprayed bullets, but thought this was easy enough to glance over at his sister, “You?”
“Fine.” She had her eyes on the screen. He didn’t like it when she stared, “How about with mom and dad. You’re okay with that?”
“They love us, right?”
“Yes.”
“Meh. Doesn’t matter then. Food, shelter, power, games, what else is there in life?”
“You really zone out into this stuff, don’t you?” Kayla didn’t expect an answer as the screen flashed red as different spider pincers bit into his character.
“Concentrating.”
“You don’t think you should go outside or something?” that sounded so lame. Kayla knew it, but it was out before she could stop herself. Even the boys from Youth Group spent most of their free time on these games. Unless it involved singing, dancing, or playing with her friends, those games didn’t make sense to her.
Everett didn’t take offense, probably because he’d heard that question from teachers and librarians through most of his life, “No. The outside is boring. I’ve been there thousands of time. I’ve seen houses and sidewalks. But I’ve never had the chance to face down an Araracnizar swarm with just two power clips.” He spoke and clicked the same time, his thumbs a furious storm of combinations and commands, “If outside can fill me with the same excitement as saving a planet, wiping out a species, or make me wonder about the best strategy, then sure, I’ll go outside. Until then, I’ll stick with the next best thing.”