by Davis, Jarod
“I’m not good at that.”
“I know that, but I know you can do that. I trust you. So just be worth it, okay?”
Kayla expected a nod or some solemn oath. Anyone else would’ve been worried about whether or not he meant it. When Seth put his arms around her and pulled her close and held her tight, Kayla knew it was true.
Silence dominated their house went Kayla stepped inside. She was twenty minutes past curfew, tired, and drained in every way. At least she didn’t have to deal with her parents. Locked in an office or watching TV in their bedroom, her mom and dad didn’t notice or didn’t care. Kayla tried to tell herself they trusted her, so the curfew didn’t really matter anymore. She was old enough and responsible enough that she didn’t need one.
Kayla went through the routine of getting ready for bed. Shower. Dress. Floss. Brush teeth. It was everything she always did. But when she looked at her bed, still made from that morning, she didn’t slide under the sheets despite the exhaustion that rang through her head with each heartbeat.
Seth needed her help, so she’d be there for him. That would probably mean another fight. That fight would probably get bad. But helping him also meant information, so she went back to her nightstand, pulled open the drawer, and found the card. Printed like any other, regular paper, regular font, Kayla didn’t know if she could trust him. He said he was a mercenary. That meant he was just out for himself. Kayla hoped she could use that. She pulled out her cell, typed the numbers, and listened to it ring.
“Good evening, Miss Knack,” came the silken tones of Cyrus the mercenary.
“I have some questions for you.”
“Good. We should meet.”
“I’d rather do this over the phone.”
“And I’d love to oblige your issues of convenience, but alas, questions get complicated when you don’t know who’s listening. You’re on a cell phone, right?” Kayla didn’t know if he could track that with some scanner or if it was just a lucky guess. Cyrus took her silence for a yes. “The Alliance gets twitchy with nascents, especially new ones. Just be happy they’ve revised their old policy. They used to kill everyone. At least now there’s a chance.”
“Didn’t you just say a lot?”
“Oh,” he gasped. “You’re right. I guess we should meet in person. Who knows what other dark secrets I might reveal with an errant slip of my wayward tongue?” Kayla’s temper flared though she couldn’t do anything. She needed information. “I’m free now if you are.”
“I don’t think that would be a good idea.”
“C’mon. There’s something you want to know. And you know the cliché, knowledge really is power, so let’s talk. Anywhere you like, and I’ll be there. And don’t worry, we can keep it public so you won’t have to worry about me killing you.”
Kayla smiled, “I’m pretty sure you could’ve done that a long time ago if that’s what you wanted. You found me at school, so you probably know where I live.”
“I do,” he said. “Just another reason to trust me.”
“There’s a restaurant a few miles from my house.” She gave him the name and said to meet her there in about twenty minutes. With that she clicked end and got dressed again, this time in jeans, a sweater, and coat. Clouds drifted beneath the stars, each puffy and ready to rain. Outside, she’d find the kind of cold that woke her up and made her even more eager for the comfort of some warm blankets.
Technically, Kayla never snuck out before. She thought it would be harder, but by the time she got down the end of the hall, she knew she was free. On the other side of her parents’ bedroom door, she heard the hissed and snarled insults and lowered shouts. They wouldn’t scream at each other when the kids were trying to sleep, but that didn’t mean they wouldn’t fight either. Kayla stopped at the door for a second and listened. She didn’t want to, but she braced her palm against the painted wood and remembered all of those times she had with her parents, when they were happy, when they were a solid family.
About ten minutes later, Kayla got back under the fluorescent lights of a restaurant. She sat down toward the front as the server came and asked if she wanted anything. Kayla just asked for a soda and waited. It wasn’t long before Cyrus strolled through the double doors. Kayla was pretty sure her hair was mussed despite being pulled back in a ponytail and she could feel the weight of fatigue from running hard for twenty hours. Cyrus looked like he woke up two, maybe three hours ago, and leisurely enjoyed every moment to get ready for this encounter.
“Good evening, Miss Knack.” He sat down and picked up one the menu that the server left. “I hear they have good mini-burgers. Any recommendations?”
“I’m not really here to eat.”
“Sure you’re not.” Smiling still, the mercenary lowered his menu. She was pretty sure that warm sign of affection could’ve shifted to rage or frenzied combat between heartbeats. “So tell me, Miss Knack, why are you here? Have you decided that you’d like to make the world a better and safer place by joining the Alliance? I’m sure they’d have you, once your test results are back, of course.” He flashed a practiced smile, something a model or announcer would wear.
“You know about that.”
“I know a lot.”
“Tell me about it, then.”
“Which part?”
“I’m a nascent.”
“Yes.”
“And that means I’ll become something else.”
“Ah,” he said, a finger on the air with the revelation, “You’re confronting the existential implications of this development in your life.” He wove his fingers together, his palms placed against the cold tabletop. “Yes, Kayla. Considering that Vigo hasn’t stabbed you in the face, he believes you’re a nascent angel. You do believe in angels, don’t you?”
“I do,” she said. “But not like this.”
“Yeah, it does get pretty sad when you can see the magic behind the curtain. I guess it would be even worse when you realize that you are the magic behind the curtain. Kind of loses some of its shimmer, doesn’t it?”
“Do you get a choice?” she asked.
“Kind of hard to tell,” he said. “Maybe people become demons because they choose it, or maybe they choose it because they were always meant to be demons. I guess it really depends on how you think the universe is built.”
“So no one knows?”
“The Alliance has their beliefs, but the Alliance has a couple centuries under its global belt. That makes them kind of clunky. Not very nimble, philosophically, I mean.”
“Someone came after me. A woman.”
“What did she want?”
“A body,” Kayla said. “Is that possible?”
“If she was a demon who’d lost hers, absolutely.” The grin disappeared, and he didn’t look like the jaunty merchant out to make a sale. No, Cyrus leaned forward like she had something he actually wanted now. “Did she give you a name?”
“That’s valuable, isn’t it?”
“The Alliance lives to hunt demons. They pay a lot for that information.”
“Then you’ll owe me one if I tell you.”
“Absolutely.”
Kayla didn’t know if she could believe him, but she didn’t care about the money, “Sasha. She said her name was Sasha. She’s come after me twice.”
“Twice?” he asked, a flicker of surprise in his raised brows. “You should be proud of yourself. Evading someone like that must’ve been very challenging. Even with help, I would imagine.” He tilted his head, just a little, just enough for her to see him reevaluate her.
“I got lucky.”
“And such modesty,” he said. Kayla couldn’t tell if that was sarcasm or humor.
“What do you know about her?”
“Not much.”
“But you know something.”
“I know that she gave over to her demonic transformation. Rumor has it that she killed herself early to expedite the process. She didn’t want to be a human with the trace abilities she�
�d get without her first body.”
“She killed herself? It was that important to her?”
“Your first body belongs to your soul. It affects you, limits you. When you die, it changes in some very important ways. It’ll happen to you, just hopefully in a more angelic way. Your body dies and comes back. It changes. It’s no longer human. Think of that skin you’re wearing now like a cocoon.”
“Do you know how?”
Cyrus shrugged, “Does it matter?”
“I want to know how ruthless she’s going to be.”
“She slit her own throat. She was crazy enough to record it too. Some Alliance scouts found it one of her hideouts. Pretty creep stuffy. I could probably get you a copy if you’re interested in that kind of thing.”
Kayla’s mouth went dry, but she wouldn’t swallow. She wouldn’t let him see the shiver that crawled down her shoulder blades. “No. Thanks, but I’m good.”
“Yeah, Vigo really wants her. He actually killed her second body. He had it destroyed, so she jumped forms. At first, Vigo thought she was actually dead, but then he realized that a kid went missing the same day Sasha’s first body was killed.”
“She took him?”
“Yeah, but children really aren’t supposed to hold the fires of a hell bitch. They found his body a few days later. Six years old.” Cyrus clicked his tongue and shook his head like it was a shame, the same kind of shame as rain or when his favorite team lost. Kayla felt the kind of horror that made her eyes water.
“She’ll keep doing it. Won’t she?”
“She’s a demon, in every sense. She’ll fight until she has a body that can sustain her. She’ll need a nascent for that, someone who’ll become a demon.” Cyrus shook his head. Grinning, he looked like he thought the whole thing was some cosmic joke. “They’re cruel and brutal. They destroy everything in their paths. The Alliance has reason to hunt them so ferociously.”
“They’re all like that?”
“Every one,” he said, his shoulders forward. “If you spend time with a demon, you will get burned. It’s in their nature. They will go insane. Insane by our standards anyway, and they’ll wreck everyone around them. They are fiends dedicated to their own pleasures and ambitions. Nothing else.”
“If she wants me,” Kayla didn’t want to finish the sentence.
“If she wants you,” he said, “she thinks you’re a demon. Crazy, right? You couldn’t be a demon. That’s just impossible. Completely insane. Jumping bodies must’ve warped her perceptions. Maybe she can’t smell out nascent demons anymore.” He paused, his eyes on her like he wanted to gauge her response. “Unless she’s not. But you couldn’t be a demon, could you?”
Chapter 10: Battle Prayers
“Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.”
John 3:20
Worries nagged at Kayla through that night. Alone under her covers, she should’ve been safe. She should’ve savored the heat and gentle touch of her blankets, her pillow, the bed beneath her, but she couldn’t escape the same circled thought. Sasha wanted her.
Up and out the door before anyone else was up, Kayla decided to walk to school. Alone on the street, she could tell if anyone tried following. She kept glancing back, but the cars were always different. At the same time, she bit back the fear that the Alliance had some way to go invisible or maybe they could track her phone even when it was off.
Too many conspiracy theory movies, Kayla thought and hoped she was wrong.
Seth’s house wasn’t what she’d expect. He gave her his address in case she ever needed someplace to run. It looked like a normal place. There was his car in the driveway. It was clean and well maintained like the lawn, two bushes and tree that jutted up from the backyard. There wasn’t any indication that someone different lived here.
Kayla went to the door, took a long breath, held it, and knocked. Without the distraction of her breathing, she could feel every heartbeat, but she didn’t want to let it go. Probably stupid, but holding her lungs tight gave her something else to think about.
He kissed her. That thought made her smile. Trying to think about anything else, she rolled back on her heels, wondering what he’d look like in the morning. This was his house. This is where Seth wasn’t the same Seth as at school or when he met her anywhere else.
The door opened. “Kayla?” It was more than an hour before school, and he was dressed, hair combed, everything prepared like he always went out that early. “What are you doing here?” He leaned out and scanned the street like he thought someone might have followed her.
“I found some more out about Sasha. You were right.” She didn’t know if he’d motion her inside. He might’ve wanted to protect his privacy. After all, he never talked about his family. Every teen had to have some guardian somewhere. Then again, he had his abilities and those could force any adult to forget about permission slips or proof of residence.
He opened the door wider and waved for her to come inside. Kayla was glad of that because of more than just the cold. She wanted to know him. It was girly, but she wanted to see who he was when he wasn’t with her. She wanted to know as much as she could. A voice that sounded a lot like Erin’s whispered in her head that she might’ve been in love with him, but Kayla wouldn’t push it that far. She couldn’t. Not yet.
“How’d you find out about her?”
“I spoke with Cyrus.”
“The mercenary who wants to recruit you.” It wasn’t a question.
“Yeah. He said that she was a demon.”
“If you believe in that sort of thing.”
“You think they’re all wrong?”
“I think that the Alliance has been working some very old assumptions for a very long time. Remember, they came up with these labels long before anyone knew about genetics or even cells.”
“If the name fits,” Kayla said as she looked around the living room. At a glance, she could tell it was tinged with something sad. She didn’t see any pictures. Just like his car, it was clean and blank. This place could’ve been a show house for some real estate agent. There was the big screen TV, flat panel and HD. There was the new couch. The floors were laminate and probably cold beneath her feet. It took her a second to notice the one picture. It was small, faded, and had four people. Kayla didn’t want to stare, so she just saw the two adults, a younger Seth who was maybe ten, and another girl, probably seven or eight. It was dusty except for two thumbprints.
“So she’s looking for a body.”
“And she’s a demon.” That was the part Kayla didn’t want to think about.
“So?”
“A demon needs a nascent’s body to start over. A nascent demon.”
Seth stared at her for a second like it didn’t mean anything. Finally, he shook his head, “Don’t think like that. Don’t ever think like that.”
“What if I’m a demon?”
“You’re not.”
“But she thinks I am. She said she could smell it on me.” That was the first time she said it out loud. Last night exhaustion kept any of that from hitting her. She might be broken. There could be something dead or cruel or wrong inside of her. Worse, if she died, that part might take over. All of her faith and hope and effort might break away into nothing, dust on a wind.
When she looked up, Seth was in front of her, his face set and serious, his hands on her shoulders. “Listen to me, it doesn’t matter what they call you. It doesn’t matter what they say. You are Kayla Knack. You’re the same person today you were yesterday and in the last sixteen years. You’re the girl who chews her mechanical pencils, the girl who stays up late making cookies for Key Club bake sales, and the girl who is going to go on and make the world a much better place.”
“But what if I change?”
“You won’t.”
“That’s not an answer and you know it,” she said.
“Do you believe in me?”
Kayla stopped. No mat
ter what she learned about herself, she’d still trust him. “Yes.”
“Then trust me on this. Sasha is wrong. She is dead wrong. Even if you have something she needs, that doesn’t mean you’re the same. You can’t listen to her. You can’t think like that. Not ever.”
“Why not?”
“Because you don’t deserve it. Some people deserve guilt and damnation. You’re not one of them.” He let her go.
That’s when Kayla glanced over at the desk by the front door. There were flowers there, crisp and fresh. “Where are you going?” she asked. That might’ve been prying, but she just told him that she thought she could be a demon. If he was like anyone else, he would’ve run from a secret like that. Maybe he’d trust her a little bit as much as she trusted him.
“I’m not going to school. Not today.” He exhaled like he needed those extra seconds to find the right words. “Don’t worry. You’ll be safe from her as long as you’re with other people. Sasha might be a monster, but she doesn’t want to get caught. She won’t risk exposing herself or her position in the Alliance. She wouldn’t want Vigo coming after her again.”
“I’m not worried about myself.”
“Will you be okay?”
“I’m always okay,” he said. Kayla knew he didn’t expect her to believe it.
“Do you want some company?”
“No.” That didn’t surprise her.
“Do you mean that?”
This time Seth turned back to her. He looked wounded, like something hurt too much for even sounds. It was the same hurt he always carried, that part of his life he hid from her. But this time he did surprise her. “No, I don’t mean that.”
Kayla stepped closer. When he tried to pull away, she took his wrist and leaned up and touched her lips to his. “I’m here for you. I’m always here for you.”
This was one of those few moments where they didn’t speak. Kayla sensed he wanted to tell her, but she’d wait. She wouldn’t try to pry it before he was ready. Instead, she watched the world go by. Houses blurred to restaurants to sidewalks and finally to the walls and trees along the side of the freeway. They headed east. After that, he could’ve planned on driving them three thousand miles to New York. If that was their destination, Kayla was pretty sure she wouldn’t have gotten out.