Not at all sensible. But then, when had her life ever made sense?
She watched Jed stalk off toward the river, clearly impatient to be away from her. She reminded herself that Jed hadn’t liked her from the moment he’d laid eyes on her. He was only helping her as a favor to Buck and Elizabeth, and to protect his ranch.
The last thing she wanted was to cause her sister pain. Only now did she see the selfishness in her endeavors to be reunited with Elizabeth. She had put her own longing to be part of a family again ahead of her sister’s safety.
Tears burned at her eyes, her chest ached with grief.
I’ve been fooling myself.
She would never find a place where she would be accepted. Her own father had been the first to send her away, unable to stand the sight of her. She’d been no better received at boarding school or with the Carlsons. Not even the saloon patrons had wanted to have anything to do with her and had ridiculed her appearance, just as everyone else had. She knew she’d been lucky to be selling her voice and not her body, but it hurt not to belong, anywhere. She’d taken solace in her sole friend, Titus, who’d been killed on her account.
She caused pain wherever she went. Why should California be any different? She would only find further torment and cause more pain to those she loved. The sister she remembered from her youth didn’t deserve the cloud of despair that shadowed her existence. She would indeed be doing her sister a kindness to remain on the opposite side of the continent.
Rachell glanced toward the river, then east, recalling the slightest glimpse of a settlement they had passed. It couldn’t be more than a day’s walk.
She started through the dense section of trees, increasing her pace until she was running, her only thought, to get away. She headed for a patch of aspen too thick for Sage to get through. Not that Jed would bother to look for her. He’d surely be happy to find her gone.
I’m not helpless. She leapt across a narrow gorge, lifting her skirt higher to accommodate longer strides as she sprinted through the trees.
Fifteen minutes later, Rachell’s heartbeat pounded in her ears, and her lungs drew raggedly for breath as she ducked under another low branch, her boots rapidly working across the uneven ground. Certain she’d gotten a good start, she slowed her pace to a brisk walk, endeavoring to catch her breath. Jed probably hadn’t even returned from the river yet.
“Mind telling me where you’re going?”
Rachell nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of Jed’s deep voice. He seemed to materialize beside her.
He was actually leaning against the thin white trunk of an aspen, calm as you please, with his arms crossed over his chest as he stared down at her.
“Away,” she said when she managed to catch her breath.
“The wrong way.” He motioned in the direction of their camp.
“I’m not going with you.”
Jed pushed away from the tree. “Damn it, Rachell. I’m not going to rape you!”
“No! I never thought—”
“The hell you didn’t! You’ve been waiting for me to pounce on you since I took you from that saloon. If I’d planned to have my way with you, don’t you think I’d have done it when I woke up this morning with my hands on that soft body of yours? I didn’t intend for that to happen, any more than I intended to respond to you when I brushed your hair. You are safe with me.”
“I know that! That has nothing to do with why I’m not coming with you.”
“Oh, you’re coming with me.”
She stiffened, aggravated by his confidence. “I’ve decided not to go to California. Surely you can tell my sister I’ve changed my mind. You, of all people, should be relieved.”
Jed stood still as a statue, staring down at her with hollow gray eyes. He didn’t look at all relieved, although she couldn’t tell how he felt.
“Rachell, have you taken a good look around? You happen to be standing in the middle of Colorado wilderness. You expect me to leave you here, with no horse, no food, and nothing to defend yourself from wild animals, Indians and bushwhackers? Not to mention you damn near froze to death last night. Have you lost your mind?”
Dear Lord, she wasn’t quite sure. But she was certain if she spent any more time in the arms of this man, she would be insane before their journey was through. He made her feel all too vulnerable. His unbending confidence and tender touch filled her with the urge to wrap herself in the safety of his arms. An irrational and inconceivable thought.
“I’ve simply changed my mind, and I’m quite capable of taking care of myself.”
He crouched low, resting his arms on his bent knees. His ebony hair fell forward from his shoulders as he dropped his gaze to the earth. He released a deep sigh before looking up into her eyes. She could see he was straining for patience, an effort that increased her growing discomfort with this man. Her body crowded with strange sensations as he continued to stare at her. She had the strangest urge to hug him…or run.
“Let me see if I’ve got you figured out.”
Dear God. She hoped he hadn’t.
“For reasons that have nothing to do with me, you’ve decided you don’t want me to escort you to California. Even though you’ve risked your life and your good friend Titus died in your efforts to get there.”
“That is exactly why. Had I realized I would be bringing such danger into Elizabeth’s home, I never would have come.”
“You do realize I’ve already traveled across three states to find you, not to mention the three lives that have been tallied onto my conscience, all to get you safely to California. Yet you’ve suddenly decided all was for naught, and you’d rather get yourself lost in the woods.”
Now why did he have to make her sound like an ungrateful idiot! She crossed her arms and turned her back to him, her eyes burning with the tears she refused to shed.
She was trying to save them from more trouble. She didn’t want to put more strain on his or anyone else’s conscience.
“I’m not trying to be mean,” he said.
“And I’m not trying to cause you more trouble. I never intended to drag anyone else into the mess I’ve created. I surely never meant for people to be killed on my account. I’m sorry if your conscience has suffered because of me.”
“No man of good conscience takes another life without being affected by it.”
Hearing sadness in his tone, Rachell turned, meeting Jed’s gaze, yet his face remained expressionless. How did he do that? “They were terrible men,” she said.
“I don’t doubt it, sugar,” he said as he straightened. “I’m just tired of playing the role of executioner.”
Knowing she’d already caused him damage was a personal torture. “I’m sorry for putting you in such a position.”
“I’m not placing blame. I’m only trying to point out the serious events that have brought you this far. We’ve got a long, hard path ahead of us, and you trying to veer off course isn’t going to help us any.”
“I’m just trying to do the right thing.”
“Face it, you can’t take a step without snagging trouble, whatever path you choose. Elizabeth is expecting you. Furthermore, I gave my word I’d bring you to her. That’s just what I aim to do, but not without taking care of those troublesome snags. If my assumptions are correct, which they usually are, Maxwell Sumner is on his way to Shadow Canyon. We also have the little matter of our marriage to clear up.”
She didn’t need to be reminded of her marital bond to this man. If the tingling pleasure she’d experienced from his touch this morning was any indication of the physical intimacies shared between husband and wife, she shuddered to think of what a further exploration would feel like. The thought of his hands intentionally caressing her bare flesh was enough to make her dizzy.
Would he want to kiss her when he touched her?
Dear God. Why am I even entertaining such provocative thoughts?
“Now, you can either come with me,” he continued, oblivious to her internal
swooning, “or we can do things the hard way, which won’t be pleasant for either of us.”
His grave tone captured her full attention, and raised the fine hairs on the back of her neck. Even as she stared into his dark eyes, she was certain he wouldn’t hurt her. He’d simply overpower her as gently as possible.
“We’re burning daylight. What’s it gonna be? We can travel with you sitting upright or bound and gagged.”
“Those are some options,” she grumbled, while admitting to herself there was no way out of her situation. She stiffened her spine, making the most of her five feet three inches as she stared up at her overbearing protector. “We may be stuck together, but I’ll have you know, I am not useless. I’ll admit, I have much to learn about cooking but I’m a skilled seamstress and happen to possess plenty of other fine talents.”
The corners of his mouth twitched with the start of a smile. “Lady, if you’re fishing for another apology—”
“Not at all,” she assured him, lifting her chin a bit higher. “I feel it’s imperative that you understand my motives for trying to evade you. They were based purely on the concern of bringing danger to my sister’s home. I’ve come to discover in the past twenty-four hours that you are, in your own peculiar way, a gentleman.”
Jed smiled.
Dear Lord, she wished he wouldn’t do that.
“I appreciate the clarification, but let’s not overdo it.”
“I’m also aware that you can be a rude, arrogant, foulmouthed tyrant.”
To her amazement, Jed didn’t seem at all offended by her harsh assessment of his character. He actually looked as if he were pleased by her deplorable description of him.
“Fair enough,” he said. “Anything else?”
“Yes. I’m tired of being called sugar, lady, woman and Imp. My name is Rachell. And if we are to continue traveling with only one horse, I prefer to sit astride. I’d like to see where we’re going without putting a kink in my spine.”
Rachell paused, assessing his response to her requests.
“So we’re setting some ground rules, is that it?” Jed asked as he leaned back against a tree.
“Indeed.”
“Well, then, I have a few stipulations of my own. Three to be exact.”
“Very well.”
“Number one, I’ll do all the cooking. Number two, due to our current sleeping arrangement, you’ll make sure that waistcoat is tucked into your skirt good and tight before you bed down at night. Number three, which is most important, you’ll stop being so damned stubborn. As you mentioned, I tend to bark quite a bit, and with you being an unruly female, that’s not bound to change. But it’s certainly not worth freezing to death over or going hungry. Do you think you can handle that, Miss Rachell?”
She bristled at the chilling emphasis he put in her name. “Do I have a choice?”
“We always have a choice, Miss Rachell,” he said with a thin smile.
What could she have been thinking? She did not like this man. “Agreed.”
She turned, starting back toward camp.
“This way, Miss Rachell,” Jed instructed, taking a northern route.
Rachell released a sigh of aggravation and hurried after him. Not more than a hundred yards from where he’d found her, Sage was waiting. She glanced toward the western horizon and saw the wide path he’d ridden on the outer rim of the woods which stretched clear to the river.
Jed stopped beside his horse, smiling as he watched her approach.
“I really don’t like you,” she said, gripping her hips to keep from clawing at his smug face.
“And here I thought we were gettin’ to be good friends.” He moved behind her, his large hands engulfing her waist as he lifted her toward his saddle. “You better hike up that skirt, Miss Rachell, if you plan to sit astride.”
Rachell pulled the back side of her skirt between her legs as she was hoisted up. Jed followed her into the saddle, again lifting her by the waist as he sat behind her, so as not to crush her into the hard leather.
“Better?” he asked as his arms moved around her to take the reins.
A shudder racked her body. She couldn’t possibly sit on his lap clear to California. “Having my own horse would be better.”
“I’ll oblige that request at the soonest opportunity, Miss Rachell.”
Rachell had the strong suspicion she would soon be hating the sound of her own name.
Chapter Six
After several days of travel, Rachell wondered how cattlemen spent so many hours on horseback. Her buttocks were going numb again, and her legs ached. She tried to shift her weight without attracting any attention from Jed.
“Not much further, Miss Rachell, and you’ll be able to stretch your legs,” came Jed’s voice from above her. “We’ll stop for the night at the next river.”
Rachell seethed with annoyance at his formal politeness. Not much further, Miss Rachell. Yes, Miss Rachell. Of course, Miss Rachell. Your supper, Miss Rachell! He intentionally tried to wear on her nerves by treating her like some pampered princess, and it was working.
She’d offered to hunt for their supper more than once. He had refused, seemingly bent on trying to make her feel useless. She didn’t doubt her skill with a rifle, but she refused to be baited. Miss Abigail would have been astonished by the refined discipline and self control she’d displayed in the past few days. Jed had teased, harped and goaded, while she remained content to silently stew in her anger.
As annoying as Jed could be, he guided his horse with a confidence she envied. They’d ridden through trees, gorges, and canyons so tall she wouldn’t have been able to locate the sun if she’d had to, much less be certain of their direction. A few times Jed seemed to be leading them straight into a mountainside and just when she’d doubt his choice of direction, a crack would appear in the wall of stone. A few hadn’t been much wider than Sage. Jed steadily guided their course, often whistling above her. The man was clearly incapable of getting lost.
They were definitely taking a path less traveled. When she’d gone across the state with Stewart Sumner and the others, they’d ridden visible trails and passed through several towns. This time, she hadn’t seen a town or even a single dwelling in days. The land surrounding them was wild and rugged.
Even so, she slept surprisingly well at night, knowing she was well protected. When Jed thought she’d fallen asleep, he’d wrap her in his strong arms and cradle her against his long, warm body. She couldn’t recall when she’d ever slept so peacefully.
She smiled at the thought.
“What are you smiling about?”
Rachell glanced up at the man sitting behind her, surprised to discover he’d been watching her. “None of your business,” she answered, mortified by what she’d actually been smiling about, horrified that he might be somehow capable of reading her mind.
Jed shook his head. He hadn’t really expected an answer. She’d been unusually quiet in the past few days, which was fine with him. He kept his mind busy, studying the terrain and mountain passages, and keeping an eye out for company.
It was the evenings that grated on his nerves and his body. He took his time hunting for their meals, all the while trying not to focus his thoughts on their sleeping arrangement. Every morning he woke with a red-haired vixen sleeping in his arms, her small body pressed tightly against him. Having her waistcoat tucked into her skirt didn’t stop the painful hunger that tormented him as he watched her sleeping face, tasted her breath, felt the rise and fall of her chest against his. He’d never slept so intimately with any woman.
He’d shared his bed with Malika for two years, yet she’d never lain pliant in his arms, her limbs entwined with his. Jed had come to realize Rachell’s open display of trust was so much a part of her character. No man had to guess at the mysteries of this woman’s emotions, for they were as visible as the sweet little nose on her face. During her waking hours that emotion tended to be pure anger.
Just because the woman truste
d him, didn’t mean she liked him. The fact that she didn’t like him sure as hell didn’t dampen his attraction to her. He’d been in the company of more than his share of beautiful women, but none who made the blood roar through his veins the way this woman did.
A woman who hadn’t so much as batted an eye at him or given a slightly flirtatious gesture. In fact, in the last several days she’d done nothing but glower at him over a campfire. Knowing that he was far more attracted to her than she was to him annoyed him beyond reason.
Shoot, even if she wanted me like hell on fire, I wouldn’t take her. He couldn’t. She was Buck’s sister-in-law. More than that, he wasn’t about to sour his chance of getting an annulment, not that she wouldn’t beat a path to the first judge she could find.
He wasn’t taking any chances. Her sweet little body was off limits.
Maybe that’s it, he thought, glancing down at the auburn crown of her head. Just knowing he couldn’t have her naturally stoked his fire.
Still, he didn’t like it.
He suppressed a groan as his eyes tracked the late afternoon sun. They’d be coming upon a river soon, where they would stop for the night. Rachell wasn’t bound to be keen on crossing the wide stretch of water. He figured he’d spare her ’til morning.
She hadn’t balked when they’d crossed other streams and rivers, but she’d clung to him like a treed cat, gripping his arm so tight, her nails had bit through the sleeve of his shirt. He imagined he’d be losing a good chunk of flesh in a couple of days, when they reached the San Juan.
By late tomorrow they’d be near the Rio Colorado, an unpredictable torrent cutting through thick rock canyons. Any man with an ounce of sense would feel some pause about crossing it. He’d bypass that wild stretch of water and ride south into Northern Arizona and then into Nevada.
What he needed was to acquire another horse. A pack horse and more supplies wouldn’t hurt. He’d shot himself in the foot by letting his temper get the best of him in Charlesville. He hated putting such a strain on Sage, and he didn’t think he could handle another full day of riding with Rachell on his lap.
Stacey Kayne Page 7