Starring Me and You

by Ella Bradshaw

  It's not like I set out to hurt anyone. That was never my goal. It was just an unfortunate side effect of me getting what I wanted. Most girls, even the ones who seemed cool were too clingy and jealous. It didn't matter if they were super models or actresses who'd just been named sexiest woman of the year. They all needed me and I hated that shit. What happened to free love and just fucking whoever you wanted whenever you wanted, no strings attached? Maybe I was born in the wrong decade. Everyone was boring now. Even fucking had gotten boring. It always went the same way. I’d smile, maybe talk about nothing for a while to warm her up. Then we’d tear each others clothes off and go wild. Then she would leave and I would feel empty again.

  Darcy was another story. "That's enough for now?" What the fuck? No woman had ever said that to me and it left me reeling, long after she had gone to bed. Mere moments ago the girl had been putty in my hands. My magic touch had brought her to the point of no return in no time at all and she didn't give a shit. She had gotten hers and that was all that mattered. She was playing me worse than I played anyone else before. Holy crap.

  What was this girl turning me into?

  Darcy

  I woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat and shivering from a nightmare. Though I couldn't remember it fully, the vivid details wouldn't leave me. Vampires. Vampires who looked surprisingly chiseled like Nate, grabbing at me. I was trying to fight them off but it was inevitable. He was going to make me his.

  I took a deep breath and got out of bed. I wandered to the kitchen and turned on the light. Nate was asleep on the sofa, wearing only a pair of boxer briefs that hugged his lower body perfectly. I didn't allow myself to look. It was too temping. He was too beautiful.

  I padded to the fridge, opening it as gently as I could so as not to rouse him. I grabbed the cartoon of milk and took a swig, closing the fridge behind me. There was nothing I wanted more than to lay next to him on the couch and have him hold me. His arms were so big and strong. I couldn't imagine feeling anything but safe and happy with my head against his chest.

  I put a blanket over him. That way I wouldn't have to look at that chiseled body anymore. It was also a little bit cold.

  Someday, somehow a very special girl would manage to tame Nate McCoy. I just knew it. Though I'd only seen it in small fragments, Nate's sensitive side was profound. Someone would pierce through his armor and get to know the man inside. Not Nate McCoy, the actor. Nate McCoy the man. It would have to be someone very special.

  Too bad it would never be me.

  Nate

  I figured that Darcy would want to escort me to my events the next day. I had an interview on a breakfast radio, a meet and great at a movie theater and an evening premiere that I just had to be seen at. Apparently. I wasn't sure why.

  But no. She was feeling under the weather.

  "If you don't mind I might just stick around here," she said. She stood at her bedroom door shivering and sniffling. Probably got it from running around in a wet towel, but I didn't want to say.

  She somehow managed to look even cuter in her lame pajamas with a bad case of the sniffles.

  "You sick?" I raised one eyebrow. She crossed her arms defensively.

  "Yeah, I am."

  "You sure?"

  "Yes!" she snapped, "And if I don't get some rest today I'll be sick at work tomorrow."

  "Call in sick then, take the day off." I said. She rolled her eyes.

  "You don't get it, do you? I can't afford to lose out on a day's pay. But I guess not having money isn't something you've ever had to worry about." she said. Wow.

  "That's not true," I said. She snorted, obviously not taking me seriously. That was fine. I didn't have to give her my back story if she wasn't open to hearing it. I'd told it enough times already. Drug addict mother, dead beat father, trailer park the whole thing. I was discovered when I clocked off my shift as a pot washer at a fancy restaurant. Sure, that was a while ago now but not so long that I couldn't remember. In fact, scraping the change together to buy myself matches after getting my lights cut out was fresh in my memory, "Anyway, I thought your job was ensuring my best behavior?"

  "Yes, yes it is but I have my doubts that this gonna last three months so I’m trying to keep my foot in the door. My boss doesn’t expect me too, but I think it’ll ease the tension if I end up quiting." she said. Her tone wasn't bitter, but it stung anyway. I'd only been teasing her before now. Had she taken it too seriously? God damn it, I was just getting used to having her around. She couldn’t just quit on me like that.

  "Really, why? Is it because you want to sleep with me?" Beating around the bush had never been my thing. It would be dishonest of me not to just say what I was thinking. Unfiltered, totally distilled one hundred percent pure Nate McCoy.

  Darcy kept her cool though her skin flushed pink. Our little incident the night before must have been on her mind. I hadn't been able to get it off mine since. That was really something, seeing as I hadn't even managed to get my rocks off. Yet.

  "No, not at all."

  I gave her a crude smile and she just turned redder.

  "Listen Nate, last night was...an experience. It was great. Well, it was all right. Yeah. Fine. It was fine. Thank you for uh, um..."

  "-Giving you an orgasm."

  I loved making her uncomfortable. Watching her squirm in discomfort was almost as fun as watching her writhe in pleasure.

  "Yeah. That. Thank you for giving me..." she took a deep breath and her lips parted into an 'o' shape, but she thought better of it, "-such a good time. Yeah, thanks for the good time. It was fun, Nate, but I got carried away."

  "Carried away?" I repeated doubtfully. If only I could peer into Darcy's head and see the crazy hamster on the wheel that made all of her decisions. Maybe then her logic would make sense to me.

  "Yeah. Carried away. Look, I'm stressed with work and bills and stuff. My Grandma isn't in the best health either and I always worry that I won't see her again. I miss my parents and my brother and my dog and my cat. I'm lonely here. I don't have any friends and I haven't been on a date since I moved, so the attention was flattering. I mean, how many girls have fantasized about being with Nate McCoy?" she said. I shrugged.

  "I figure it's in the millions at this point. My movies have been translated into 82 languages, so they get a pretty wide release." I said. I was just teasing again, but Darcy didn't laugh.

  "See, that's what I'm talking about Nate. You're so full of shit. It's not your fault either. People say yes to you every day and girls who are fifty times as beautiful as me would sell their souls to sleep with you. You know that and you exploit it. That's okay, it's what almost anyone would do in your situation. It’s no wonder you’re not a good person. I’m sure I wouldn’t be either if I was treated like you are."

  I hated the way she spoke to me. I'd given therapy a try once or twice and always ended up storming out. She wasn't quite as bad as those patronizing pricks, but she was close. How could she talk to me like that? She didn't know me. No one knew me.

  "Right. I'm full of shit?" I said.

  "Yeah. Oh, please don't be mad! Like I said, it's not your fault! But I can't do it. I just can't let you use me up and toss me out like yesterday's newspaper," she said, avoiding eye contact with me, "I'd really appreciate if for the rest of our arrangement we could keep things platonic."

  "Sure," I snapped, "Platonic it is."

  If she thought she knew me she was about to have a rude awakening.

  Darcy

  My stuffed nose was annoying, but not annoying enough to stop me from leaving the house if I really wanted to. Of course a part of me wanted to go with Nate to all of his interviews, listen to him tell witty anecdotes and flirt with the female interviewers, maybe find a quiet corner of the studio to continue what we had started last night...

  No. No way. That was not happening. First thing was first, Sheila had forbidden it. If the woman who was going to be paying my bills said no then it wasn't going to happen. I
just couldn't afford to lose out on that paycheck. Six month's rent for not sleeping with someone? It sounded so ridiculous when I thought of it that way. There was a whole city full of guys I could fool around with. There was no reason to fixate on Nate McCoy.

  Then there was the other thing. My mushy, mushy heart. Mama had always said it was because I was a Pisces. I liked to throw myself in the deep end and always ended up swimming alone. Translation : I was a fucking idiot when it came to love and always ended up choosing the wrong guy and getting hurt. It had happened so many times at this point that I would have been an idiot not to notice the pattern. Only, when it had happened before it had been from afar. Guys back home didn’t know I existed and so my heartbreaks were silent. Well, I had noticed the pattern and this was where it was going to stop. Nate wasn't going to break my heart. Even if he was the first guy to ever really notice me.

  I ran myself a bubble bath in Nate's jacuzzi tub. It filled up within seconds. I poured in some untouched pink liquid that smelled of roses and sweet vanilla. I slipped into the pink bubbles and tried to turn of my mind.

  It didn't work. Not one little tiny bit.

  I couldn't stop thinking about him. The defined contours of his body that I just wanted to run my hands over. His hot breath on my skin. His tousled hair and his deep, sensual voice. A guy had never made my heart beat so fast. It wasn't fair. I wasn't just another dumb fan girl, was I?

  I wasn't. Because I had said no to him. That made me stronger than all the others.

  There were a few buttons next to me that I messed with in order to distract myself. I found a dimmer switch. Ah, mood lighting. How many women had he had in this bathroom alone? It was a depressing thought. Being girl 1,371 didn't appeal to me

  I pressed one and out of nowhere, music started to play. A radio? I wondered what Nate's song of choice was when he was getting down to it. It was pretty hard to imagine that he would ever care to put that much thought into it. Then again, he had spent all his time yesterday focusing on my pleasure.

  I was just sinking into the bubbles when the song ended and the presenter started talking. Damn it, I hated talk radio. Why couldn't they just play music non stop? It was less depressing than world news and celebrity gossip. You never heard decent movie reviews on the radio anymore either. Back before my time the reviews had been thoughtful and detailed. Now they were just sponsored garbage with some idiotic host gushing about the main actor’s abs. More often than not, that main actor was Nate.

  Suddenly the girl stopped talking about the song and started talking about a new movie. Nate's new movie. Wait, didn't Nate say that he had a radio interview this morning? Was I remembering right?

  Of course I was.

  "I am so, so excited to see this movie, you guys have no idea. It sounds freaking adorable. Speaking of excited, I am also really excited and happy to say that we have the star, Nate McCoy in the studio with us this morning!" she said. Her voice was young and chirpy. Though I didn't recognize it, I knew without seeing her that she was beautiful. Would Nate have had her already or would he have the decency to wait until the interview was over? I couldn't predict.

  "Thanks for having me." he replied. The choice of words made me groan.

  "So, how are you doing? You must be so excited to be promoting your new movie!" she said. Nate's apathy was palpable.

  "Sure."

  I could practically hear Sheila banging her head against the wall.

  "What was it like working with Courtney Reynolds? It was your first project together, right?" she said. Like I needed reminding that Nate had worked with one of the most beautiful, popular actresses in Hollywood right now. She was married but I had low expectations. Somehow I didn't think the sacrament of matrimony mattered all that much to Nate. Or in Hollywood in general. Fidelity was optional, right? Why love and respect your spouse when you can just marry them and keep fucking people every night! What could go wrong.

  "Yeah, first one. It was pretty cool, I guess." said Nate with as much enthusiasm as someone complaining about the amount of cream in their latte. Wow. How had he ever managed to promote a movie before this?

  "She's gorgeous, isn't she?" said the host, clearly clutching at straws now.

  "If you're into that," he said. ‘That’ happened to be luscious blonde hair, a size zero figure and fantastic breasts. Any straight male would be into it.

  "I can't imagine anyone on earth who's not into that," quipped the host, "But maybe you have a different type?"

  "Maybe," he said. This piqued her interest.

  "Really? Wow, so what to you usually go for Nate??"

  "Females, preferably females with a pulse," he said and she giggled pathetically. Ugh, I hated the way girls fawned over Nate. It was so stupid. Just like how I felt when I was with him.

  "Oh come on, tell me. It'll stay between us and everyone who's listening," she said. Nate didn't give up anything.

  "Nah."

  "All right, all right. I know you want to promote the movie. We'll get back to that, right after you answer me one question. Is there a special lady in your life at the moment?" she asked. Now that was grasping at straws.A special girl? Hah. There was no such thing, at least not in Nate's eyes. Every girl he could get into bed was special in his eyes. At least, for the time that they were together. After he got what he wanted it was time to move on, whether they liked it or not. It didn't matter if the girl was a tall blonde Hollywood actress or a petite curvy geek from down South. We were all the same. Just receptacles for him. I had been a fool to let him touch me last night, but it was all right. It wasn't going to go any further.

  I waited with baited breath for Nate's answer. How was he going to say 'I don't do relationships' without alienating the romantic drama fans who all thought they had a shot with him? He was crafty. No doubt Sheila had given him stock answers, but I couldn't imagine he would stick to them.

  "Yeah, actually. A very special girl." he said casually. What? He spoke so carelessly, like it was no big deal. If it was any other actor in Hollywood it wouldn't be. It was normal and healthy to have relationships, wasn't it? Not for Nate McCoy it wasn't.

  I could hear the host bubbling over with excitement as I fiddled with the sound. I needed to hear this.

  "Really? Wow! So you've finally been tamed?" she teased. Oh, Nate would not like that. There was nothing tame about him. He was like a lone wolf surrounded by a pack of bumbling dogs.

  Even so, I could only detect the slightest bit of annoyance in his voice.

  "I wouldn't go that far," he said, "It's early days."

  "So, no Mrs McCoy in the near future?" she prodded. Jesus Christ. Now that would be an experience. Hopefully Nate would do the decent thing and never subject a woman to being married to him.

  "God no, no way. Definitely not. I'm not a white picket fence kind of guy," he said. The host giggled.

  "What kind of guy are you then? Our listeners would love to know!"

  I could answer that. He was a bad boy with no feelings, ridiculous good looks and nothing else. So why was I so obsessed with him? I had so much going for me. I didn't need the hassle.

  "I'm...I'm an open book," said Nate, "What you see is what you get."

  "Well 6 feet 2 inches of gorgeous sounds good to me! Now, let's get onto questions from our listeners! The phones have been overrun with calls, thank you all so much for your patience everyone. We will try to get to as many as we can before the end of the show," she said. Cringe. Why were people so friggin desperate to speak to Nate? He wasn't some amazing scholar or poet with profound wisdom. He was just a guy. A guy who happened to be famous and a little bit gorgeous, "Ok, first question is from Cecily from Philadelphia."

  "Hi! Is Nate there?" said an excitable voice. There was giggling in the background. Cecily was clearly with a group of her girlfriends.

  "I'm right here baby." he said, hamming up the deep husky voice. Fuck, it was so put on but it still...did things to me. It was sad. The girls all screamed with excitement.


  "Oh my gosh! Hi Nate, I love your movies so much!"

  "That's great."

  "Did you have a question, Cecily?" said the host. I wasn't sure how she dealt with these screaming idiots so professionally.

  "Yes! Yes, I do. Nate, I read in your unofficial biography that you were born April third. It's crazy, cos I was born April twenty seventh so we have so much in common!" she said, through giggles, "Anyway, could you describe your dream girl?"

  What a ridiculous question. How could people be so gosh darn dumb? His dream girl was any girl who would let him have his way.

  "Wow, we do have plenty in common huh?" I could practically hear Nate's eyebrow raising, a gesture which I found to be infuriatingly patronizing. However, in this case it was justified. The girl didn't pick up on the sarcasm, thank god. She just screamed some more, "I don't know. Some people have a type but I don't. Not physically, anyway. I like a girl whose inner beauty shines through."

  Gag. How could anyone fall for that crap?

  The girl practically fainted on the other end. The host cut her off mid ramble. It was for the best.

  "That's so refreshing." said the host. Nate laughed.

  "Yeah, that's what I said when my manager handed me the line too. It sounds way better than a girl with a big ass and a great rack." he said. I giggled. Oh my gosh, what was he doing?

  "Your manager?" said the host.

  "Yeah. That's her there, outside. You see the woman waving her arms and mouthing 'shut the fuck up' at me?" he said.

  "We'll have to apologize for the use of bad language there folks. Now, it's about time for a word from our sponsors. But hang on because Nate will be answering more of your questions after the break." she said quickly, probably hoping that he would shut up now. Wow. That was one of the most awkward interviews I had ever heard.

  I turned off the radio. I had heard enough. None of this was anything to do with me. I wanted to keep it that way.