“Oh Alex, I missed you!” I wailed. We hugged again.
“Come on now, enough of the water works. I haven’t seen you in forever. Let’s have fun, all right?” he said. I wiped away my tears and nodded.
“Yeah. I just want to forget everything.”
Nate
Tim wouldn’t be pressing charges. That would have been a relief to anyone else but it really was the last thing on my mind right now.
The studio wouldn’t be pressing charges either. Even though I’d probably ruined the chances of A Walk in the Rain hitting the big time, I didn’t give a shit. What did it matter? So I’d get paid a few million bucks instead of a few more millions of bucks. Once you got to a certain level it didn’t really matter.
Sheila quit, of course. I didn’t blame her and I didn’t argue with her. I was concerned with other things. Namely, finding Darcy.
“I don’t know why you’re wasting your time on her,” snapped Sheila, as she made me sign her last paycheck, “She’s obviously in hiding and waiting for a good moment to sell her story. That’s what I would do if I hadn’t signed so many damn non disclosure agreements. You’re lucky.”
“She won’t go to the papers. She wouldn’t bring that on herself and she wouldn’t bring it on me. Not everyone is like you,” I said. Sheila snorted contemptuously.
“You think after everything you’ve done that little side piece owes you anything? She was always too good for you, Nate. So was I, come to think of it,” she said. She snatched her cheque as soon as I’d scribbled my name, “Well, it hasn’t been a pleasure. It’s been hell, actually. I just hope that poor girl isn’t too destroyed by all the shit you’ve put her through.”
“Don’t say that,” I growled. Sheila smiled.
“I can say what I want. You don’t own me anymore, Nate McCoy,” she said. It was funny. It wasn’t like she hadn’t said exactly what she thought during our entire business relationship. She turned on her heel and went for the door of my house.
“Wait, please. Just a second,” I said. The desperation in my voice was palpable. Sheila turned around with a smug grin on her face.
“What now?” she asked, raising one perfectly shaped brow.
“If you do one last thing for me I’ll double that cheque right here right now. No, I’ll triple it. And we can void all the non-disclosures. Fuck it, I’ll find one of my sex tapes for you if you want it. That should get you a pretty penny,” I said. Sheila’s smile widened.
“I’m listening.”
“Sheila, you’re the closest thing to Magnum PI I’ve ever met in real life. Minus the mustache, obviously. What I’m saying is, you’re a sniffer dog. If you wanna know something you’re gonna know it, no matter what,” I said. Sheila nodded, that smile fixed on her face.
“Go on.”
“I want you to find out where Darcy is for me. She isn’t responding to my calls or texts and she’s not living in her old apartment anymore,” I said. Sheila rolled her eyes.
“Jesus Nate. Can’t you take a hint? The girl doesn’t wanna be fucked around with anymore. She’s not interested,” she said. Maybe Sheila was right. In all likelihood Darcy didn’t want to see me and I couldn’t blame her for feeling that way. Even so, I had to see her. One last time.
“I know, I know. But I need closure. I’m sure she needs it too. I’m pretty sure she’s gone back to her parents in Tennessee. At least, that’s what I would do if I were in her situation and I had a half decent family,” I said. I drew a breath, but Sheila didn’t interrupt me, “They own a ranch. I don’t know if it’s horses or cattle. She didn’t say. I didn’t ask. That’s all I know.”
I slumped in my seat. It sounded impossible. Tennessee was huge. Who knew how many ranches it contained. Sheila crossed her arms.
“Give me twenty four hours,” she said, “Forget the sex tape, quadruple the cheque. Deal?”
“Deal!”
Waiting to hear back was painful. I had nothing to do and that made it even worse. The minutes ticked by so slowly and I lost hope with every passing one. I had to distract myself.
I got in my car and started driving.
Before I knew what I was doing I had pulled up in front of the Spring Meadow Rehabilitation and Meditation center. It was about two hours out of town, ironically located on an old vineyard. They didn’t grow grapes anymore but there were fruit trees outside. It looked as good as it did in the brochures.
Patients and carers wore their own clothing so it was impossible to tell them apart. There was something nice about that. Many of them were gardening out the front, but I didn’t see her. No, she would be inside.
Stella, the lady on the phone, was at reception. She recognized me instantly and beamed at the sight of me.
“Nathan! Oh wow, Tanya will be so happy to see you!” she came out from behind the desk and gave me a hug. It was oddly comforting.
“I hope so,” I said.
“There’s no hoping. She will be. Come on, she’s in room 32. I’ll show you.”
Before I could back out and run away Stella took my wrist and guided me through the polished halls. Sunlight hit the clean floor and made it glow. Everyone we passed in the hall said hello, but no one seemed bothered by my presence. They were used to celebrities around here.
Number 32 was at the very end of the hall. It was a good room, I’d made sure.
Stella gave a warning knock before she opened the door and peeped in. I couldn’t see past her.
“How are you Tanya?” she asked.
“Good, you?” My mother’s voice hit me like a tonne of bricks. It hadn’t changed one bit.
“Great. You have a visitor here.”
“Send him in.”
So she didn’t refuse to see me. At least that was a relief. Stella smiled at me and pinched my cheek.
“See, she’s happy to see you!” she said. I thanked her and she walked away, leaving me frozen to the spot in front of a half open door. My mother sighed and opened it.
“Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” she said, a small smile on her thing lips. She was thinner than she had been. Her features were almost too sharp for her face and her collarbones jutted out just a little too far. Despite that, her skin had color to it. She wore an over sized cardigan and a nightdress.
I didn’t speak. I just hugged her. She smelled like toast and she hugged me back, tightly.
“Come in then, Nathan.”
Her room was nice. She had a comfortable single bed by the window, the sheets neatly made but the tidy effect was ruined by the books and magazines thrown all over. Her nail polishes were gathered on the windowsill, next to a half empty cup of coffee and a small plant. A picture was perched on her bedside locker. It was off me. Not me now, but me as a teenager. The two of us.
She invited me to sit down on her bed and she sat down in her armchair, tucking her legs underneath her.
“So you finally showed!” she said.
“You weren’t answering my calls,” I said. She shrugged.
“I was angry, at first. I didn’t want to be here. Then I was afraid that you’d be angry at me, so I didn’t answer,” she said, before adding, “I’m sorry.”
“Do you like it here?” I said, looking around. The door to her en suite was half open. There was a jacuzzi bath and everything. Not bad.
“Yes. I’d like it better if I wasn’t here, but that’s ok. I need to be here,” she said, “So what have you been up to?”
“I have a new movie out.” It was all that I could think to say but she rolled her eyes.
“Honey, I know. The carers won’t stop telling me. It’s meant to be a big deal, isn’t it?” she said. I shrugged. It wasn’t looking like that now, “I mean what’s going on. Are you still messing around with those Hollywood bimbos?”
“No,” I said. Those times seemed like so long ago. They had been so careless, so empty. Now I was feeling the full spectrum of human emotion for what felt like the first time. My mother smiled knowingly.
>
“There’s a girl.”
I nodded. Then shook my head.
“There was. Is. I don’t know.”
“It wasn’t a question, Nathan. I can tell. You’ve got a look in your eye,” she said, “You’re in love, aren’t you?”
She could always see right through my lies, so there was no point in trying.
“Yes.”
“And you fucked up?” she asked. I nodded.
“I really fucked up,” I said. She shrugged and smiled.
“Then fix it.”
We moved on then. She changed to subject and spent the rest of the afternoon talking about nothing and everything at the same time. It was nice. It felt good.
When it was time for me to go she hugged me tightly.
“I love you,” I said and she didn’t say it back, but I knew she was thinking it. She looked up at me and repeated what she had said earlier.
“Fix it.”
Darcy
Spending time at home was a good idea. With every day that passed I felt more and more like myself. Alex and I rode the horses and looked after them just like when we were kids. In the afternoons I sat in a hammock and read every book I owned (excluding the romances, which I wasn’t quite ready for) while Alex barbecued us lunch. I met his boyfriend Javier and the three of us had movie marathons with popcorn and sweet tea. He was a sweet guy, tall dark and handsome and clearly smitten with my big brother. When Alex was in the bathroom he smiled at me.
“Alex talks about you all the time. He’s so happy that you’re home,” he said. I smiled back at him.
“I’m happy too,” I said. I was, almost.
The two of them insisted that they didn’t mind spending time with me. They loved it, in fact. I was anything but a third wheel.
“We get to hang out every day,” insisted Javier, “Alex hasn’t seen his little sister in forever. We love hanging out with you, squirt!”
Alex laughed at Javier’s use of my childhood nickname.
“He’s right, Darcy. We don’t mind. I want you two to get to know each other,” said Alex. I looked at them doubtfully.
“If you’re sure,” I said. So we continued our fun and games for a few days until Javier mentioned in passing that it was their one year anniversary. We’d planned another movie night that night and they’d insisted that would be a sufficient celebration. I was mortified.
“No way!” I insisted, sitting up in my hammock. Javier was making up a salad while Alex fried our burgers, “You have to go out, you guys!”
Javier laughed and shook his head.
“No way! We wanna hang out with you, Darcy. Besides, Alex’s promotion money has been going on student debt. It’s not like we have the budget for anything nicer than a crappy takeout anyway!”
Alex nodded.
“Yeah. Things are a little tight at the moment, squirt. A movie and a few drinks is perfect!” he said. It was ridiculous. If I had been with someone who loved and respected me as much as I loved them for over a year I would be shouting it from the rooftops. Life was so dull, so sad. We had to take every opportunity we had to celebrate and milk it as much as we could. Suddenly, I had a brain wave.
“Hold on!” I said. I ran into the house and pounded upstairs. I’d cashed the cheque that Sheila had given me. Some of it went on the flight home but I’d barely made a dent. Most of it was in the bank but I’d shoved a grand into my piggy bank at home for safe keeping. I smashed it open and scooped up the money, before running back outside.
Alex’s mouth opened. Before anyone could protest I shoved the money into the pocket of Javier’s jeans and backed away.
“Darcy!” exclaimed Alex. Javier pulled the money out of his pocket in awe. He shook his head slowly.
“No way. We can’t take this. It’s so kind, but no way,” he said. I folded my arms stubbornly.
“You can and you will. I want you guys to have an amazing night on the town. Blow every last cent,” I insisted, “You only get one first anniversary. I want yours to be special.”
After a hell of a lot of arguing and the boys insisting that they wouldn’t take it, I wore them down. First they said they would go out but they wouldn’t be accepting any of the money. Then they said they would take some of the money but they would pay me back right away. Finally, just as the cab pulled up outside to bring them into town, the conceded.
“This is the kindest gift I’ve ever received,” said Javier. He pulled me into a warm hug. He whispered into my ear, “That boy is an idiot. You have a heart of gold, squirt.”
Alex insisted on a hug too, before he pulled the big brother act.
“Are you sure you’ll be all right on your own? You have our numbers if you want to reach us. We’ll give you a call every hour so don’t have your phone on silent Darcy, we’ll think you’re dead. Don’t answer the door to anyone, we have a key. If you’re using the oven make sure to turn it off. On second thoughts, don’t use the oven. Just order takeout. Ask for a female driver though, and if you’re uncomfortable just tell them to go away…” he went on and on like this. I had to grab him and drag him to the taxi myself. It didn’t matter that I’d lived alone in a big city. He was still my big brother.
I watched it pull away and waved at the two of the until it disappeared over the horizon.
Finally, I was alone again. Just the way I should always be.
Nate
Sheila was even better than I’d expected her to be. I got a call in the middle of the night from her. She had the address. She’d even booked a flight for me.
“It’s taking off in five hours so you better be quick,” she said, “I expect to be fully reimbursed for that, by the way. I also booked you a hotel in case Darcy slams the door in your face. Which she probably will. That’s what I would do.”
I grabbed a pen and paper and scribbled down the address.
“Sheila, you are incredible,” I said. I could hear her simpering on the phone.
“Well, yes. And as much as I hate to say it, I’ll miss you, Nate,” she sighed, “I hope that girl knows what she’s getting in for if she takes you back!”
“I hope so too,” I said. I hung up without another word. I had a flight to catch.
Darcy
I had just settled down into my cozy paradise. A soft, fluffy blanket, hello kitty pajamas and a mug of coco. Luna the cat was on my lap and Rusty was snoozing in the corner as one of my favorite old films started to play on the TV. Alex and Javier were having the time of their lives according to their social media. It was perfect. At least, it would have been.
Rusty’s ears perked up and he got to his feet. His little gray body stiffened and he broke into a plethora of confused barks. That could only mean one thing. He had heard something. I got goosebumps.
I paused my movie.
“What’s wrong boy?” I asked. It was strange hearing my own voice after so much silence. Rusty barked again and sure enough I heard someone knocking at the door. They were hitting it hard. Abusing the knocker, even. It sounded urgent. My mind skipped to every horrible possibility.
I ran to the front door, Rusty close behind me. Alex had insisted that I shouldn’t answer it, but I had to. I held my breath as I opened it but exhaled deeply after it opened.
“Hey.”
It was Nate. In a tight white t shirt and classic blue jeans. A wry smile was on his face.
“You haven’t punched me yet. You must not be that mad,” he said softly. Oh god. Was this real? It couldn’t be real. I’d done everything to avoid him for the last few days. I’d blocked his calls and blacklisted his name from coming up anywhere on my internet browser. Yet here he was. Right in front of me.
“Are you seriously standing in front of me right now,” I said. My heart was pounding. How did he find me? Why did he bother? A million questions raced through my mind. I hated the fact that I still cared so much about the answers.
“You know I am,” he said, suddenly looking more serious. “And I’m not leaving.”
“Call them. If that’s what you really want then go ahead and do it. If that’s what you want.”
I whimpered.
“I don’t know what I want,” I said.
Nate bit his lip.
“I do,” he said. He took a deep breath, “And I hope it’s not too late for me to get it. Because it might be.
The two of us just stood there, looking at each other for a moment. We were interrupted by Rusty growling. That snapped me back to reality.
I picked him up and held him close to me. It was like having a comfort blanket.
“Hey boy, no need to be scared,” said Nate. He reached out to stroke him and Rusty allowed it. I sighed. Even my dog had no loyalty.
“I suppose I better invite you in,” I said. I put Rusty down.
“That would be nice,” he said. I moved aside and Nate stepped into the hall. He gave a low whistle and looked around him, “Nice place.”
“Thank you.”
We didn’t speak after that. We just stood and looked at each other. His chiseled jaw and refined features were just as perfect as on the big screen.
He opened his mouth to speak. I waited. He closed it again and shook his ehad.
“Darcy,” he said.
“Nate,” I breathed. Tears were running down my cheeks now. The pain of it all had been numbed by being far away. I could almost pretend Nate didn’t exist. Now I was face to face with him it hit me again, like a punch in the stomach.
Before we could say another word Nate grabbed me and kissed me desperately, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of my arms. I didn’t resist. My thoughts, my doubts went out the window. I would suffer for this later, but it didn’t matter. I needed him right now.
Starring Me and You Page 14