by Cali MacKay
“It’s okay, Em…I’ve got you.” I kissed the top of her head, breathing in her already familiar scent. “I don’t suppose it jogged any of your memories free?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. Not that I’d really know if any of it is real or just my imagination—and one hell of a bad dream.” With a ragged sigh, she settled against my shoulder as I held her tight, wishing there was more I could do to help her figure this out.
I couldn’t wrap my head around what it would be like not to remember my past or my family, to not know what was real or just in my head. I’d have to contact Dane in the morning, and see if there was anything he might be able to find out. “Just try and get some rest. I’m sure it’ll make more sense come morning.”
“Maybe I’m better off not knowing. Maybe my life is so shitty that this is my brain’s way of protecting me from my past.” Her fingers trailed absent-minded circles over my chest, as if tracing the lines of my tattoos, though I doubted she could see much in the dark of night.
“If your life is that bad, then you can always start over. I swear, Emie, I’ll do all I can to help. I could find you a new job, a place to live…” Though I’d have to insist that she stay with me for the foreseeable future. “We’ll deal with whatever is in your past, and you don’t have to do any of this on your own.”
“I don’t understand why you’re being so nice to me.” Her voice was laced with emotion, leaving me to wonder what sort of life she’d had before now.
“Someone would have to be a real ass not to help you, Em, especially in the condition you were in when you showed up at my front door. But…I don’t know. I feel like there’s more between us. Some sort of connection, even if we’ve only just met.” At least that was how I felt at the moment. And how could I not, when I had her naked in my arms and I had just come inside her moments earlier? Because being careless like that and not using a condom? That wasn’t something I ever did, under any circumstance.
Except that Emie really was different—and I meant it when I said that things felt different between us.
Her voice broke as she spoke, her hold on me tightening. “But you don’t even know me, Locke. You may not like me when you find out who I really am.”
Did that mean some of her memory was coming back to her, or was she assuming that, given her circumstances, she might have a few skeletons tucked away? Not that any of that mattered. All I could do was judge her based on the person who was before me, and what I knew of her. “Maybe I know enough—and I like you plenty. I don’t care about your past, love.”
“How can you say that? What if I turn out to be a horrible person?” She lifted her head up off my chest to look at me, though it was the tension in her voice that let me know just how upset and worried she was.
“Emie…I can’t imagine you’re a completely different person to who you are now. And frankly, I like you enough to give you the benefit of the doubt.” I didn’t know what the poor girl had been through to make her doubt even herself, but no matter what, I’d find a way to help her through this. “Get to sleep, love. I swear, things won’t look so dire in the morning.”
“I hope you’re right.”
I woke up to an empty bed and a jolt of panic, even as I told myself that Emie was likely just wandering about the house, letting me sleep in. Yet it was hard to push away her words last night, when she’d wanted to leave.
Getting up out of bed, I quickly threw on a pair of sweats and a T-shirt, and headed toward the living room and kitchen, panicking just a little more when I found those rooms empty. But before my panic really took hold, I spotted her sitting in one of the Adirondacks, out on the deck in the freezing cold, with Bear by her side as he did his best to protect her from the elements.
What the fuck was she doing? She was going to catch her death. As early in the morning as it was, the temperature had to be in the thirties.
Without bothering to grab shoes or a jacket, I rushed out there, ignoring the brutal cold, as Bear barked, clearly relieved to see me. Luckily, she had on boots and a thick sweatshirt, but her lips were blue, and she’d clearly been out here for a while. I didn’t even want to think of the condition she’d be in if Bear hadn’t been there to help keep her warm. “Emie…you need to come inside.”
She wouldn’t even look at me. What the fuck had happened?
When I scooped her into my arms and brought her inside, she didn’t fight me, though her body felt stiff and frozen from the cold. I sat her down in front of the wood stove and got it cranking, before returning to take care of her. I grabbed a throw off the nearby sofa and draped it over her shoulders as I knelt in front of her, trying to warm her hands in mine. “What happened, Em? Talk to me, love.”
She spoke through chattering teeth, looking like death warmed over. “I have no one, Locke.”
“That’s not true, love. You have me.”
I felt numb and confused…heartbroken and alone.
I had nothing left to live for.
The hate that had kept me moving forward, day by day, had rapidly waned as I’d gotten to know Locke better, so that I now felt like a hollow shell of a person.
“Em…you have me worried.” He cupped my face in his hand, tilting my head back so I’d be forced to look at him, his touch burning hot against my frozen skin.
Damn it. It was impossible to look into his blue eyes and not feel my heart hitch inside my chest. Yet I knew that was not a road I could go down. “There’s nothing to worry about.”
“Except for the fact that you were sitting out in the freezing cold for who knows how long.” He let out a ragged breath, his eyes dark with concern. “You could have frozen to death out there.”
“Maybe.” Tears stung my eyes, because I knew he was right. I felt lost and filled with a despair that had me not knowing what to do with myself anymore.
“What’s going on, Em? For fuck’s sake, talk to me. Is it your memories? Have they returned? Or were you just trying to get yourself killed?” He looked so genuinely worried about me—but it only messed with my head further.
I had no answers for him. None that wouldn’t involve lying to him or myself.
But then he was simply pulling me into his arms and holding me to him as I fought back years of heartache, my loss and pain threatening to cave in on me. Yet as he held me in the safety of his arms, it was easy to find a quiet peace that I could escape to.
He kissed the top of my head, his touch so sweet and tender. “No matter what you’re remembering from your past, I swear, it doesn’t matter to me.”
Except that it would matter if he found out why I was really here, and that this had been nothing but a setup from the very start.
I shook my head no, though I was desperate to believe him. “You can’t know that, Locke.”
“I do know it, love.” When he kissed me, it was far too easy to let my past go for just a little while longer, and take comfort in his arms. “Nothing will change how I feel about you.”
How he felt about me?
Trying to slow my racing thoughts, I snuggled up against him, taking in his warmth as he held me, even as I questioned my own feelings for him. I supposed that was part of the problem. Because he was far too easy to like, and that made it damn hard for me to hate him.
I was still having a hard time reconciling the man before me with the man I’d envisioned in my head. He was nothing at all like I’d expected him to be. But it went beyond finding out that Locke wasn’t a monster. He was sweet and sincere, caring and thoughtful. He’d put my needs before his, dropping everything to help a complete stranger. I just couldn’t see him being the sort of man to brutally threaten my father and drive him to murder.
And if that were the case, then what the hell was I doing here?
Yet now that my hurt and anger had subsided enough for me to think a little more clearly, I was starting to realize the mess I was in.
And what the hell had I actually expected to happen, even if I found the evidence I needed? Was I going to
pull out a gun and shoot them in a fit of revenge? The answer was no, even if it’d crossed my mind when I was coming up with this asinine plan. It had all made so much sense when I was buried under the weight of my grief, angry and hurting.
But…I wasn’t a killer. That was not who I was. And hurting the people who’d stolen my family from me sure as hell wouldn’t bring them back—especially when I didn’t know if Locke and his family were actually responsible.
I pulled out of Locke’s arms, shaking my head as my realization sunk in, tears stinging my eyes as I fought back my panic. “I’m sorry…I need to go.”
“Emie…you can’t leave. I won’t let you.” He cupped my face in both his hands and kissed me with a passion that stole my breath and branded my soul with his mark, making me forget the whole reason I was here. And he kept kissing me until there was no more fight in me…until I could do nothing but give in to what was between us.
By the time his kisses slowed, I didn’t have the energy to do anything but stay there in his arms, even though there was a war going on inside me. I should never have approached Locke, and I’d been nothing but stupid to think that I wouldn’t be affected by sleeping with him.
It may have gotten him to let me into his life, but it also left me feeling far too vulnerable. I couldn’t sleep with someone and be intimate with them, and still remain emotionally unattached. That just wasn’t the sort of person I was—and I should have known better.
Locke pulled away just enough to look at me. “You’re still cold as ice. I want you to stay here by the fire so you can warm up while I cook us up some breakfast. Okay?”
I nodded, curled up with my knees to my chest. Wrestling with my thoughts, I sat there, trying to sort out who Locke really was. Except that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to figure that out without handing him over more of my soul.
Bear nudged my hand, looking worried, so I sank my fingers into his thick, black fur, feeling some of the tension in my chest finally start to ease. I swear, I’d never seen a dog as big as this, and I knew damn well that if it hadn’t been for him doing his best to keep me warm, I’d be in far worse shape after sitting out in the cold for as long as I’d had.
Not that I wanted to look too closely at why the hell I’d gone out there to begin with. Because I knew I wouldn’t like the truth. And so I pushed those thoughts away and wrapped my arms around Bear’s thick neck, taking comfort in the quiet understanding he offered.
“Grab a seat, love. Breakfast is ready.” Locke served up the eggs and bacon he’d just cooked and carried the plates over to the breakfast bar as I crossed to his side.
Yet it took him a single glance in my direction to know exactly what I needed in that moment. Without a word, he pulled me into his arms. I hated that he seemed to offer me a comfort I hadn’t been able to find anywhere else—and that meant I was already in too deep. “I need to go back to Seattle, Locke. I’m sorry to drag you all the way out here, but I really need to go. And the cops… I need to check in with them.”
“I’ll take you wherever you want to go, Em. And we can call the detective handling your case. But I’m worried about you. It’s not safe for you to go back to the city when someone might still be out there looking for you. And without your memory, you won’t even know you’re in danger until it’s too late.” He pulled back to look at me. “Unless you’ve remembered something?”
“I don’t know…maybe.”
“Em…that’s fucking fantastic, even if it’s just a start.” If her memory was coming back, then it’d be a hell of a lot easier to keep her safe. And I sure as shit wouldn’t be waiting around for the bastards to make the first move. I’d make them fucking pay for what they put her through. “Does this mean you remember who you are?”
“All I know is that my life’s a mess.” Emie wouldn’t look at me, but it was impossible to ignore the tears that slipped down her cheeks, even if she tried to hide them.
“I swear, I’ll see you through this, baby.” I cupped the back of her head and pulled her to me, relieved when she slipped her arms around my waist and nestled herself up against me. “We’ll figure this out. And until then, you’re staying with me. I’ll take care of you, Em.”
“Why? Why are you going out of your way to take care of me? I just don’t get it.” She shook her head and pulled away from me. “You don’t even know me.”
“After last night, I know you well enough. What sort of asshole would I be if I only helped people I knew? That’s not how my mother and father raised me. And though I’m no fucking Boy Scout, I’d like to think I’m not a complete and total jackass.” I ran a rough hand over the thick stubble on my jaw, trying not to get frustrated with the situation. It felt like she was holding something back, and though I could understand her being wary of trusting anyone, I’d only ever tried to help her and had asked nothing in return.
“I guess I didn’t expect anyone to care about me, let alone go out of their way to be so helpful. And you really have.” She closed the distance between us, her curves brushing against mine, making it impossible for me not to grab her hips, my fingers digging into her soft flesh. “Locke…”
“What is it, baby?” I swear, she wanted to tell me something, yet I knew she was a long way off from actually getting it out. Not that I was surprised. We may have been intimate, but I was still pretty much a stranger to her.
“It’s nothing. I’m sorry I’m all over the place.” Emie went up onto her toes and pressed a kiss to my cheek, before brushing her lips over mine. “We should eat before it all gets cold. Things never seem as dire after a decent meal.”
“Dire, huh?” Fuck, but I hated that things were still so messed up for her. “Grab a seat, love. I’m starving.”
We ate in relative silence as my mind churned, trying to figure out how the hell I was supposed to get her to open up to me. I know my brothers would chastise me for investing so much time and effort into a girl I knew so little about. Yet I couldn’t help it. There was something about Emie that had pulled me in and taken hold.
None of us were perfect, and there were times that I wasn’t proud of the things I’d done or the life I’d led, but we could only hope to move on and become better. I didn’t know what Emie’s past might hold, but I’d happily stick around to find out, and if she needed someone to lean on, I’d be there for her. Because I was quickly realizing that my need for her went well beyond the physical—and it didn’t matter one bit that I’d only just met her.
By the time we’d finished and loaded the dishwasher, I was torn between taking her back to Seattle and dragging her back to bed so I could ravage her—and ravaging her was definitely starting to win out. Yet, before I could steal more than a single kiss, my phone rang.
Dane. “Hey…you have anything for me?”
“I was hoping something would turn up on the Dark Web, but I’m not getting much. Though not all hope is lost. If you can take a picture of her, I can try some facial recognition software to see if I can figure out who she is.”
“And you think that’ll work?” If we could figure out who she was, then at least that would give us a starting point to try to figure out who was after her. And it’d also give her a chance to get her life back—though I sure as hell wasn’t ready to let her walk away from me. She may get her life back, but I was going to do all I could to make sure there was a place for me.
“It’s worth a shot. And if it doesn’t turn up anything, we’ll go from there. Someone’s got to know her. She can’t just turn up out of thin air with no history or past. It’s just going to take a little more time to figure it out.”
“I’ll send you over some pictures of Emie shortly. And if you could, let me know as soon as you find out anything at all, even if it seems insignificant. At this point, we don’t know what might trigger her memory.” The more information I had, the better my chances of getting her to open up to me.
Because I knew she was holding something back. I just didn’t know what—nor did I know the magni
tude of it. It might be something minor that she was stressing over, when in the grand scheme of things, it really wasn’t a big deal. Or it could be something huge—not that I’d have any way of knowing without her telling me.
I hung up with Dane and flicked to the camera app on my phone. “I need to get a picture of you, love. My brother’s going to try to run it through some facial recognition program to try to get an ID on you.”
I could have sworn I saw a momentary flicker of panic. But then it was gone, replaced by a hesitant smile. “I hadn’t even realized he could do something like that without being the FBI or something. Do you need it head-on or profile?”
“I guess we should send both to be on the safe side.” I took the pictures and sent them over to Dane, hoping it wouldn’t take him long to get an ID on her.
“So…your brother’s really good with computers, huh?” She bit her lip, looking so fucking adorable, I snagged her, wrapping a firm arm around her waist and pulling her close.
“He is. That’s always been Dane’s thing. I swear he could code before he was even old enough to walk.” I had no clue how he managed not to get himself into a shitload of trouble, since I knew for a fact that he was always snooping in places he shouldn’t be.
“So chances are good he might actually be able to figure out who I am.” Emie rested her hands on my chest, leaning into me and raking her teeth along the pulse in my neck, my cock going immediately hard.
“We’ll figure this out, Em. And in the meantime…” I caught her mouth in a brutal kiss, grabbing her by the waist and lifting her up onto the kitchen island so I could feast on her.
“Locke…” She half-heartedly protested as I trailed bites and kisses down her neck, my hands slipping over her curves to catch the waist of her jeans, pushing them down past her hips, her panties sliding off with them.
I bit her nipple through the fabric of her shirt and then continued my exploration to the soft curves of her hips and the swell of her belly, before finally settling myself between her legs. Pulling her to me, I ran my tongue along her tender folds, loving how wet she already was, as if she’d been thinking about the next time we’d come together. “You taste so fucking sweet, Em…like a ripe peach on a sunny summer’s day.”